(You make me sick..I want you and I'm hatin it...Got me lit like a candlestick...Get too hot when you touch the tip, I'm feelin it, I gotta getta grip...And it's drivin me crazy baby don't you quit...Can't get enough of it...You got me goin again...Baby, you got me goin again...You make me sick - You Make Me Sick by Pink)
I'm sorry.
Two words. Used for many, many possibilities. Sometimes different meanings.
I'm sorry.
The words glowed back at Miranda as she studied her phone, while propped up against her headboard, her morning already a whirlwind of confusion. She hopped out of bed to throw on some clothes and slip on some shoes, grabbing her favorite WWE hoodie, which happened to be a Dean one, on her way out her front door.
She was late.
This was just...great.
Slept in, apparently her alarm clock wanted to play dumb and it was kind of her own fault for having spent the later hours of the night awaiting a response from Dean. That man had her all over the place when it came to interacting with him but not always necessarily in a bad way. It was different, exciting at times, new.
But now...now she had these two words plaguing her thoughts and they would probably continue to do so the entire day until she got some answers or decided to confront Dean. One or the other.
I'm sorry? What did that even mean? What did he do? What could he have possibly done to have to apologize to her, a woman he had barely screwed around with?
I'm sorry.
God, this was bugging her more than anything!
Probably more than it should...
If there was one thing Dean couldn't stand it was unnecessary silence.
Ever since last night he had expected a tongue lashing, a telling off, anything but this. What was this?
The silence was killing him!
"Oh someone say something please," Dean snapped as he, rubbed at his forehead a bit. The remnants of a headache lingering even after popping a few pills this morning. He looked between his two former team mates, one current at the moment, seated in the driver and passenger seat off in their own little world. The music was playing lowly in the background but no one was paying it much attention.
There was more silence and Dean huffed, crossing his arms like a petulant child as he dropped back to settle in his seat and ignore the two for the rest of the night...who knew, maybe a couple of days they kept this shit up.
They knew him. He didn't normally act this rash, this dumb...so the cold shoulders were unnecessary.
A cough interrupted the silence a moment later followed by Roman's deep baritone voice.
"What do you want us to say, Dean?"
Dean was at a loss for words.
He looked up to see Seth turning to stare at him, his texting or game playing on his phone forgotten for a second.
He just dared him to talk. He really had no right to say shit after what he did came to light.
A decision Seth found himself regretting more and more each day...yet no one but himself knew.
He opened his mouth to speak but decided against it in the same second.
What did he know? The situation was different and Dean and Renee did have a history, one he had been privy to not too long ago till it fizzled...the reasons unknown. Not even Roman knew what had happened between their friend and the young interviewer. There was Dean and Renee, Renee and Dean and next thing they knew they were as cold to each other as night and day.
"You guys know me," Dean groaned as he rubbed at his temples. Yeah, this headache was definitely getting worse instead of better. "You know of how I used to be, hell, I can't stop talking you get me drunk," He chuckled a bit but it was quiet afterward.
"What are you going to tell Miranda? Renee? Is it…" 'Is it over with Miranda already? Before it even started?'
Dean could hear the unspoken question in his friend's voice and sighed, his mind taking off into a whirlwind of thoughts as he dropped back again and looked out the window.
Truth was he didn't know what he was going to do. He had sent Miranda some cryptic ass text, stating he was sorry but that was as far as his cowardly butt had gotten before he had to get up and start his day.
He should talk to her...yeah, he needed to see her in person and explain everything. He was sure there were pictures and rumors and he didn't want it getting out of hand before they even began…
To him it already felt like he was in too deep.
And what about Renee? What was he supposed to tell her? Earlier on in the year they had been thick as thieves, a couple of buddies, one of his best that he found he could gab with, drink with, even fuck with but she wanted more...she always wanted more. Dean just didn't feel that connection with her...hadn't felt that connection with anyone. He was starting to think he wasn't made for the normal relationship shit but something about Miranda…
He just knew he needed to have her. That was it.
Wasn't it?
"Look at this!"
Miranda peeked up from shoveling her face full of salad and glanced at her coworker Debbie. She furrowed her brow. The two spoke but it was hardly normal. There was the occasional wrestling talk or simple hi's. They weren't close, yet here stood Debbie, phone outstretched, eyes bright as she bounced a bit trying to show Miranda the hot news.
She swallowed and looked.
Her eyes widened a bit and she was thankful she had decided to free her mouth of any substances because she would have been sure to choke...although she felt a lump crawling it's way up her throat, threatening to escape.
Dean….
Dean and - she squinted- Renee Young? She had always heard the rumors, seen the two travel but this? She snatched the woman's phone, thinking nothing of it and scrolled through, blanching at the array of different pics.
There was one of Renee sitting on Dean's lap, looking at him in awe as his face was lit up speaking to another person across from him. One of them standing at the bar, Renee's head on his shoulder. Another, the one that truly bugged her the most, was of Renee, fingers buried in the back of Dean's hair as she stared at him lustfully, Dean's own dimpled smile, looking down at her his face full of mischief. There were two more, Renee kissing at Dean's neck as he looked on at some pinball game going on or something and one of Dean kissing her cheek. But those didn't bug her...not nearly as much as the one of the two making goo-goo eyes at each other. It looked like a couple in love...well, at least lust.
It looked like this had all been a game...
Was that what it was? Had she been nothing but a game to Dean? Just a little girl he could toy around with, see how far he got before he went laughing back to his girl or his other lover?
Miranda felt the start of nauseousness building up in her stomach and thrust the phone out towards the other woman who had been eagerly awaiting her response.
"Oh my god! Aren't they cute," She squealed, browsing through the pics, probably for the hundredth time.
Miranda felt like she was gonna be sick.
Screeching her chair back she had barely paid half a mind to her leftover food, somehow managing to throw it away in her haste to leave the room.
She felt the stinging behind her eyelids but growled berating herself for even thinking of crying over something that wasn't even serious to begin with.
It was all a game.
Had been nothing but a stupid ass game. Rile the naive neighbor up, see how far she'd go, leave her hanging.
God she had seemed so desperate! She had wanted him badly. Had never even considered spending just one night with a man. But Dean…
Fuck it! It was done. She was done.
She veered off into the restroom in case her body decided to give on her and expel everything she took in for the day.
Looking up at her reflection in the mirror she sighed. She looked like she had just gotten her heart broken which was stupid. She hardly knew Dean. Yes she knew of the guy on TV but the guy off of? She stared at her glassy eyes but had to turn away quickly before she actually cried.
It was easy to see why Dean would run to Renee. She, herself was nothing special. Short and stubby and a rounded face with fat cheek, even tho she was in shape she still had this freakin baby face. Her arms were a bit big, always had been no matter what and she didn't even want to get started on her thighs...Her stomach had a small pudge..
Growling in frustration again she tapped her foot to ease away her nerves and closed her eyes to steel herself but the pictures flashed behind her eyelids and she huffed.
Digging through her pocket, the brunette pulled out her phone and quickly typed out a message.
Miranda: Message received loud and clear. I hope you two are happy, you look really happy...and adorable. I'm sorry to have bugged you.
Scowling, Miranda read over her message. Despite trying to be a resentful bitch even when the situation kind of called for it she still sounded nice...too nice, like she was wishing them luck.
Her finger hit send before she could second guess herself and with one last look to the mirror and a fake smile plastered on her face she left the room.
She had a job to do, one that was way more important that any tryst that could have been.
"We need to talk."
Dean nearly groaned at the entrance of his ex...whatever, as he looked away from his phone.
He had gotten Miranda's message and now he was frantic. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. It wasn't like that. Had never been like that but he just...fuck, he needed to talk to Miranda and quick! But first…
Dean watched as Renee grabbed a nearby folding chair and set it before him. She turning it around back facing forward to drop onto it. She propped her arms up top the cold metal and her head on top of those as she stared him down.
Dean's gaze didn't waver as he looked back and it was a silent battle of the wills, one he normally lost because honestly...he couldn't stand when someone was scrutinizing him or whatever. Renee smirked when she saw his eyes waver off to the side a bit.
"So...what was that?"
"What was what," Dean asked, playing dumb. "You're gonna have to clarify because I don't know…"
"What was last night, Dean. Last. Night."
Man she didn't waste any time did she? Cut right to the chase. That was the Renee, Dean knew...had known, had been used to awhile back.
"I don't like to be toyed with, you know this shit, yet you used me. Took me back to my own room, made out with me, undressed me, nearly had me and then…? What happened, Dean? What is going on through that thick skull of yours, I used to be able to read you so well." She squinted, looking up at the top of his head as if to figure it out and Dean hopped up quickly.
"Yeah, used to. But not now. We ended whatever the fuck we were weeks ago Renee. I couldn't give you what you wanted...remember?"
Renee's expression dropped a little but hardened quickly. "Yeah, I remember," She spoke softly. "Still doesn't excuse you for messing with me like that. Dean.." She stood too. "You know I still care about you...a lot."
Dean turned from her running a hand through his unruly hair. "I know," He uttered. "Sorry Neh...just..it's not the best time." He barely glanced back and there was that look again. He tried to ignore it, his eyes darting every which way.
"You have someone else." It wasn't a question. Just a statement, an observation if you will.
The copper blonde's shoulders drooped as he looked down at his bag, his thoughts on the girl back home.
"Probably not...probably over before it even started," He grumbled.
Renee opened her mouth to offer words of comfort, maybe even some words of wisdom but nothing came forward except a rush of breath. She slowly stood, looking from Dean and stalked toward the door.
She wasn't trying to be mean, was far from an evil person but she just couldn't deal with this right now. She had thought..
She shook her head and pulled the door open, glaring at the lost looking soul behind her before shaking her head again, leaving the room with a slight slam.
The two men just coming up on the locker room jerked and stopped short watching the blonde stand there, fist tightened at her sides as she shook a bit.
She had been ready...
'Go back in there! Offer him words of encouragement. Make him smile, you hate seeing him like that...'
Instead Renee turned down the hall the opposite way not even sparing the two men a glance.
There was the silence again.
Today he had wanted nothing but words, advice, encouragement but all he had gotten was questions, more confusion.
One of the guys turned up the music and he welcomed the distraction...but only for a bit.
Sliding his phone out of his pocket he eyed Miranda's message again before writing back.
Dean: We need to talk.
The response was almost instantaneous almost as if Miranda had been holding her phone waiting for him.
Miranda: Bout what? You don't owe me anything, Dean. It's fine. We're not dating.
Dean scoffed and shook his head. Oh, so it was like that?
Dean: Well at least let me clear the air….
Miranda: Nope. Nothing to discuss here. Huge mistake on my part for thinking you wanted me or anything to do with me. I'm honestly sorry to have bothered you or have gotten in your way. I wish you both the best.
Dean: Miranda…
Miranda: Goodbye Dean, it was fun the little we did...can't believe I was a fool for thinking we could possibly have more...do more. God I'm such an idiot. Wait, why am I even still texting you?! I said bye.
Dean: Would you just listen?! You're not stupid and this is far from over. There is something there...I know you feel it. Don't do this, at least let me explain. I'll come over to your place and we can talk and…
Miranda gripped her phone tight, gritting her teeth as she read Dean's message. 'He's not getting it.' "Don't bother," She huffed to the lone room. "I'm sure it's not worth hearing."
Minutes passed with no response from Miranda and Dean felt uneasy. Did she really mean it?
Dean: Miranda?
Nothing.
Dean: For fuck's sake! Listen to me...darlin...please?
'Come on Bambi. Just give my dumb ass a chance.'
What was this? He was begging. Dean Ambrose did not beg. But here he sat...begging this woman to talk to him.
He didn't even give her a chance to respond before he was firing off another message.
Dean: Look, I'm sorry, you honestly don't know how much. I feel like shit for what I've done. But Renee and I aren't together. This isn't over...far from it. I won't let it end like this. Even if you kick my ass to the curb I'm gonna explain myself. I *will* talk and you *will* listen.
Miranda pulled up her phone to read his last two messages and the more she read the more she felt herself grow sicker and sicker. God this was infuriating! He was so fucking annoying...sexy and irresistible and insanely addictive but god damn frustrating to no end! Who did he think he was, trying to boss her around, tell her what she could and would do? To listen to him?! He didn't deserve it! Fuck that!
Miranda: Leave me alone, Dean.
She shut off her phone and tossed it to the side hopping up to get ready for bed. That didn't stop Dean from sending one last message.
Dean: Definitely not over beautiful. Talk to you soon.
With a determined nod, Dean dropped back, closing his eyes as he let the music drift over him, relaxing a bit as him and his best friends made their way to the airport.