CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

NICKY

The first twenty-four hours were hell. He was shaking and couldn't breathe and kept throwing up even after there was nothing left in his system. The dry heaves had been awful. He couldn't eat or even drink, although Keith kept forcing him to try to hold down water. He'd screamed. He'd cried. Then, finally, he'd been too exhausted to fight anymore and had fallen asleep.

He'd woken up two hours later screaming his head off. Molly and Keith had held him until the panic attack passed and his nightmare faded away.

The next twenty-four hours were only slightly better. He was able to eat around the thirty-six hour mark. Keith kept their parents away somehow. When a knock came at the door, he was about to chase whoever it was off, but then Nicky heard the person's voice.

"I just wanted to check on him," Lucas said hesitantly.

"I don't think-" Keith began to protest.

"It's okay," Nicky said. He hadn't said much, so this made Keith and Molly stare at him. "He can come in," Nicky clarified.

Lucas walked over to the bed as Nicky slowly sat up. "Hey, Nicky," he said gently. "How are you feeling?"

"Awful," Nicky admitted.

"Can I help?"

"I don't know..." Nicky was embarrassed Lucas was seeing him like this. He'd managed to wash himself up a bit with Keith's help earlier, but he knew he was pale and sweaty and probably looked like he was dying.

"I know this is hard for you," Lucas said. "Whatever happened, I'm here for you."

"I..." Nicky sighed. "I accidently got addicted to my medications. I didn't mean to, but with the shooting, I just... My anxiety has been so bad..."

"Oh, Nicky..." Lucas reached toward him and touched his shoulder soothingly. "I'm so sorry. When I suggested you get help, I wasn't picturing some drug pusher..."

"It's not your fault. I should have realized-"

"You should have been able to trust your doctor. This isn't your fault, either."

Nicky looked at him and knew his eyes showed how lost he felt. "Really?" He whispered. "It's not?" He hadn't realized that he needed to hear someone say those words until now.

"Really," Lucas insisted. He took Nicky's hands in his own as Nicky tried to hide the tears desperately trying to fall. "You're not alone, Nicky," he promised. "All of us are here for you."

After that, Lucas joined his round-the-clock team of watchers. Finally, after nearly fifty-three hours of this withdrawal, Nicky felt like a human being again. He wasn't shaking or crying or screaming. He could eat and drink. His companions even had him laughing. He felt better than he had in weeks.

"You guys..." He began. "Thank you. I wouldn't have been able to do that on my own."

"We love you, Nicky," Molly said.

"I love you guys, too... Now go. I'm okay. Really. And you've all earned a break."

"Nick... I could stay-" Keith began.

"I'm okay," Nicky promised. "I'm not high on psych meds, I'm not begging for them or shaking... I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah. Thanks for not telling my parents... They have enough stress to deal with."

"You're an adult," Lucas pointed out.

"Barely," Keith mumbled.

"It still counts," Nicky said.

Molly kissed his forehead. "I love you, Nicky," she told him. He wished she meant it the way he needed her to, but the words comforted him anyway.

One day she will, he told himself. For now, the fact that she could love him at all given what a mess he currently was meant the world to him.

Keith gave him another hug and whispered in his ear, "Call me if anything happens, Nicky… Anything. Okay?"

Nicky nodded. His brother might be a pain in his ass at times, but he'd always been there for him. He'd been there for the scraped knees, the bee stings, the kids dumb enough to try to bully an Orton on the playground, and the childhood nightmares… Now he'd been there while Nicky was strung out on prescription psych meds… Nicky didn't like that the circumstances had become so dark and complicated.

How did this happen? He wondered. How did I get here? A few months ago, he had been fine… Maybe a little on the emo side, but functional. His life had direction. He had a plan. But all of this? Drinking? Drugs? Doing things his Godfathers might kill him for? That was never part of it.

Pull it together, Nicky, he thought. You're not this person. You never have been, and this is not the time to start. He made up his mind to get over it, even if his brain was telling him it wouldn't be quite that simple.

DEAN

He had spent two days waiting for the other shoe to drop. The fit he'd thrown in Dr. Quack's office was going to get him fired, right? Or at least put on some sort of mental health suspension?

When Shane finally showed up outside of his hotel room, Dean knew it was bad. He'd come in person. McMahons only delivered news in person when it was bad.

"Hi Dean," Shane said. "Is this a bad time?"

Would there ever be a good time to get fired? You could go back to CZW, he told himself. Go back home. This was never home. You're a lunatic. You belong with the other lunatics. Go back home, see Sami…

But the Offspring was at WWE now, and he couldn't just leave her. He sighed. "No, it's fine," Dean finally replied. "Come on in."

Shane entered the room. "So, Dr. Cove finally finished his analysis of you," Shane began.

Say it. Just say it, Dean thought. McMahons loved to say "You're fired" so why was Shane beating around the bush?

"And?" Dean asked.

"He feels it would be a disservice to you if we didn't bring you back immediately."

"Wait… What?" Dean asked.

"You're cleared to wrestle as soon as you're physically able to, and you're good to promo and start building angles immediately."

"I… passed?"

"Yeah. The doc says you're remarkably well-adjusted for someone who's been through what you have, and he feels getting back to work is exactly what you need to finish healing."

What the fuck just happened? Dean wondered. Aloud, he replied, "Great. When do I start?"

"We're staying in Florida for another week… Giving the others a little more time to recover to see if we can get any more roster members to come with us when we leave… We're hoping New Legacy will come with us if we give them a little more time. The angle they filmed went great, and the fans are dying for more…" He smiled. "Your daughter's a genius. She should work for Creative. I never thought Danny Huber could get over, but the fans are definitely paying attention to him now."

"That's my Offspring… So when's the next show?"

"We have a house show tonight, but we tape RAW tomorrow. I'm going to work you into a segment then, if you're okay with it… Keep it quiet. I want it to be a surprise. No one is expecting you back yet, given the fact that everyone knows you got shot. The fans will go crazy when they see you."

Dean was so relieved, he barely knew what to say. He needed this. He had to get back to work. Life needed to be normal again. Well, normal for him, anyway. He nodded and said, "That sounds great, Shane. Let me know what you need out of me and I'll be there."

"Welcome back, Dean," Shane said with a huge smile.

Dean took a deep breath. "Thanks," he said. He was still confused. He'd flipped out on a shrink and had still somehow passed his psychiatric evaluation. Man, I'm lucky, he thought. As his brain began to process that he really would be able to go back to work, he relaxed.

TRIXIE

It had been a long couple of days. She had cried herself to sleep the first night. When she woke up screaming, Saraya crawled into bed with her and held her. She fell back asleep still crying and let her mum think it was just because of the shooting. She'd never lied to her parents, but this wasn't lying… Not exactly.

Who are you kidding? She thought. She decided she couldn't keep doing this. The next morning, she looked at her mum and decided it was time she knew what had happened.

"Mum… I broke up with Brandon," she said suddenly.

Saraya nearly choked on her coffee. "What?" She asked. "Not that I'm not thrilled to hear the Bellas won't be family, but I'm a bit confused, Luv. I thought you two were so in love you were willing to take on the world to be together."

"I thought so, too… But he's… He's not the guy I thought he was."

"What happened?"

"We were fighting a lot. He didn't understand me anymore… And… And he…" She didn't want to say this part. Her mum was going to kill him if she did, but she couldn't keep it in anymore. "He shook me…"

"He shook you? That bloody bastard! I'll kill 'im!"

"It was getting bad… And he bruised my arms because he held them so tight, and he almost killed Danny and wouldn't stop, and I tried to stop him, and he hit me by accident-"

"That's enough! Where's he now? I'm going to-"

"Mum! Let me finish, okay? Please?"

Saraya softened. "Tell me, Luv. Tell me what he did."

"I hit my head, and he tried to say it was an accident and he was sorry, but he hadn't stopped… Danny stopped. Danny, who's got a terrible temper, was able to stop himself, but Brandon didn't care… And then I broke up with him… And Nicky and Keith beat him up, so I left… Then Molly decided to get him kicked out of New Legacy. We filmed an angle-"

"Hold on! You went back to work? How did I not know about this?"

"For this, yes, I went back. Technically, I'm still taking time off. Anyway, he hit me… It wasn't scripted, but he did, in front of the fans and New Legacy and everyone… And I don't know what to do with that at all."

"You don't do anything. Let Mummy handle this. I can always flee to London after I murder him."

"Mum…"'

"He hurt you! I knew the spawn of a Bella couldn't be trusted!"

"Mum, saying 'I told you so' isn't really helpful right now."

"Right. Sorry, Luv." Saraya hugged her. "I'm proud of you, Trixie."

"For what? Being an idiot?"

"Trixie Jade! Do not ever call yourself an idiot!"

"I thought I was in love with him, Mum! I thought we were going to live happily ever after and become WWE's next sweetheart couple or something!"

"You thought you were going to be the next Bryan and Brie," her mum realized aloud.

"Something similar, yeah. I mean... I just... I've never fallen for anyone that hard before. I've never had a real boyfriend. I just wanted that fairy tale ending so badly... But that's not real life."

"Don't you dare think you'll never find that! There are happy endings. Look at me and your mom. Look at Corri and Randy. Together forever."

"For better or worse, right? Only it's worse, Mum! It's always for worse! That's hardly a fairy tale. You love each other, sure, but... But Mom's staring off into space and not talking or eating, and Aunt Corri's barely hanging on by a thread! Uncle Randy almost got shot and you can't stop blaming yourself for being out of the country when everything fell apart! If this is a fairy tale, it's written by the Grimm Brothers."

"Trixie... Luv..."

"You guys are so messed up that I was able to hide a head injury from you with no real effort. Mom's not even here, Mum! She's a ghost! And nothing we do is helping her. I know the Bucks and Kenny got through to her, but as soon as they left, she fell apart again. She was just putting on an act for them."

"Trix-"

"We're going to lose her! And I feel like you're slipping away with her! And I can't... I cannot lose anyone else, okay?" Trixie was sobbing so hard she could barely breathe.

"Luv, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this... I'm trying, but you're right. It isn't working. I keep hoping if I try a bit harder, she'll snap out of this..." Her mum was crying now, too. "You won't lose me, Luv. I promise. And we won't lose your mom, either. We'll figure this out." She rocked her like she was a little girl, making comforting sounds as she stroked her hair. A month ago, Trixie would have believed her mum could fix everything, but now? She wasn't sure it was possible anymore.

CORRI

Most of the time, Corri could tell herself she was okay. The Bucks, Kenny, and AJ kept her pretty distracted, and coming home every night to her husband took care of the rest, but that didn't mean she wasn't still struggling. She'd begun going to several more meetings of NA and AA than usual, and had even joined a support group for trauma survivors. Little by little, it was helping, but even as she was repeatedly told none of this was her fault, she struggled to believe it.

"Mom, can we talk?" Keith's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Of course, honey. What's up?" She asked.

"I'm just worried... About everyone."

"I know what you mean."

"Dad's shut himself off. He's burying everything. I can tell. And Aunt Cay... Mom, she's a mess. Trixie won't tell me much, but I saw how bad it was at the funeral."

"It was a funeral, honey. She just needs time."

"Is she eating?"

"I... What?" They never discussed Cayla's anorexia so openly. She hadn't had a serious relapse in years. It shocked her that Keith brought it up now because Corri hadn't even been sure he remembered or understood Cayla's last relapse.

"Is she eating, Mom?"

"Keith, she's-"

"I remember what happened to her when I was a kid. Is she eating or not?"

Corri sighed. "I don't think so."

"We have to help her, Mom... Before she gets as bad as she did last time. Please..."

"We're trying."

"Let me see her."

"Keith, she's not up to visitors."

"I'm not a visitor. I'm her nephew, and if we keep letting her hide inside of herself, she might never come back."

"I'll talk to her-"

"No, Mom. It has to be me. Please. She's wasting away in front of me. I can't stand by and do nothing."

Corri saw the desperation in his eyes. "Okay. I'll talk to Saraya and you can see her tomorrow, alright?"

He nodded. Then he looked at her. "And are you okay?"

"I'm... sober, Baby. I'm not exactly okay, but I'm sober. That's what matters right now. I can figure the rest out later."

"I love you, Mom. You know that, right?"

"Of course I do. I love you, too." She studied her son. "What's got you so focused on all of this?"

"Nothing..."

"Keith, something shook you up. What's wrong?"

"It's just been a scary couple of days..."

"How's your brother?" Keith hesitated. Corri knew something was wrong now. "What happened?"

"He's okay now," Keith said quickly. "He just had a rough few days... But he's fine."

"Keith... Tell me the truth. Was he drinking?"

"No. Nicky says he's not going to drink anymore..." He looked at her. "He told me what you did."

Corri was embarrassed. She'd had it together for so long. Her boys had never seen the psychotic mess she'd once been... until now. "I'm sorry about that. It was a terrible reaction, but I kind of snapped..."

"You scared him... But if he stops drinking, that's not a bad thing."

"Did it scare you?"

"It would only scare me if you actually drank the shot. You're impulsive and crazy. That's just who you are, and I love that about you. As long as you didn't break your sobriety, it's okay." He looked worried. "Mom, how hard is it for you? Staying sober, I mean. I know addiction can run in families, and we've got it on both sides... I just... If someone took away one method, would you have turned to another?"

"Oh, Keith... I tried them all, believe me. Your dad just got hooked on steroids, and he got his shit together a lot quicker than I did... I drank, I took pills, I even shot myself up... Whatever would fill that emptiness, you know? But addiction... It ran in my family, too. I had no idea, but my father was an addict. We found out when he died."

"You never told me that."

"I don't talk about him. The only thing he ever gave me was a reason to get sober and stay that way so I would never be like him." She shrugged. "You're worried Nicky's going to do more than drink, aren't you?"

"If he did... I mean, what would his chances be if we caught it early and he kicked it?"

"Addiction is a life-long issue, Keith. People can relapse after decades of being sober. That's why we need to make sure Nicky doesn't cross that line. Ever."

"Right," Keith said too quickly.

No, Corri told herself. You're being paranoid. Nicky hasn't crossed that line... He can't have... She shook her head. Keith was just worried. If this were anything more, he'd tell her. She struggled to convince herself of this as she kept a calm exterior for Keith's sake.

MOLLY

She'd tracked Shane down pretty quickly. "We need to talk," Molly informed him.

"For you, my brilliant friend? Of course," Shane said cheerfully.

"You need to fire Dr. Quack."

Shane looked confused. "Okay, back up. Which doctor is Dr. Quack?"

"The shrink you made the Sire see."

"Is this about Dean?"

"No. It's..." Molly hesitated. "It's about someone else. This quack prescribed two strong controlled substances to someone after he spent ten seconds with him. He's a drug pusher!"

"Who was it?"

"I can't tell you that."

"I need a name, Molly."

"No, you don't... Just look into his prescription history. I guarantee you'll find a pattern."

Shane sighed. "This is a really serious accusation. The press-"

"The press will be worse if one of your wrestlers dies from an overdose of meds your quack prescribed!"

She knew she'd convinced him when she saw his face. "I'll look into it, Molly."

"Thank you." She was relieved. She had promised Nicky she wouldn't tell anyone his secret, but she hadn't been sure if Shane would help without all of the information.

When she left Shane, Molly ran into Joe. She almost didn't see him. "Whoa, Baby Girl," he said. "Slow down... Are you okay?"

"No..." Molly admitted.

"Can I help?"

"Gonna sing me a lullaby?"

"Well, I could, if you need it..."

"No thanks. I don't want to sleep right now."

Joe looked concerned. "What can I do?"

"Distract me?"

"Come on." He took her hand.

"Where are we going?"

"To train. You work things out best physically. Let me help."

Molly wasn't sure she was ready to train, but as soon as they started, they fell into a comforting routine. Joe knew her moves well. He and Colby had both taught her a lot while she was growing up, and they fell into an easy rhythm. Soon, Molly forgot everything else except what they were doing in the ring. For the first time in days, she was focused and calm.

At some point, Colby found them. He easily fell into routine with them, not stopping to ask any questions. Both of them knew Molly well enough to know that talking wouldn't help her right now.

Colby swept her legs out as Molly went for Dirty Deeds on Joe. She hit the mat hard and it felt good. She laughed as Colby jumped off of a nearby table onto her. Suddenly, she couldn't stop laughing.

"Molly?" Joe asked. "Are you okay?"

Molly was laughing too hard to reply, but when Joe came to check on her physically, she grabbed him by his legs and pulled him down. He hadn't expected this and he landed on Colby.

"Ouch!" Colby cried out, knocking him off of himself.

Molly laughed harder. Soon, Colby cracked up, too. Finally, Joe joined in the laughter. Molly looked at them and suddenly said, "The Sire got shot." She laughed again. "And Dickface thinks giving him the title is a proper way to thank him!"

"Well, he's not me or Joe," Colby pointed out. "Dean doesn't get the title as much... The asshole probably did it on purpose!" He was still laughing, too.

"Oh, totally. He knew Dickface would piss someone off eventually and was just biding his time until somebody pulled a gun."

"He should have called in one of his CZW buddies. I bet some of them have guns," Joe added. "He could have made this happen so much sooner."

"He should have done it when you or I had the title... Feuding without breaking us up again," Colby added.

"Or he could have saved him from me," Molly said. "Assault with a deadly fork!"

Together they laughed. After a while, Molly turned serious and quietly said, "The Sire got shot..."

"Yeah," Colby added.

"But he made it," Joe reminded them.

"He made it," Molly echoed. She snuggled between her father's brothers and knew that they, more than anyone else, understood how she'd felt in that moment. Finally, she felt like it was safe to process what she'd seen. Once she did that, she knew she'd be okay.