Chapter 8: Side Chapter, Kankuro Singing!
Don't wanna be a Canadian Idiot
Don't wanna be some beer swillin' hockey nut
And do I look like some frost-bitten hose head?
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed
Temari, Gaara, and Izuka were severely annoyed by Kankuro's singing. As the group continued west toward the Wind Daimyo's palace, Kankuro started to sing every single Weird Al Yankovic song that he could think of. He already sang "Like a Surgeon", "Eat It", "White & Nerdy", and "Perform This Way". And as you can see, he was currently on "Canadian Idiot".
They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin' heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny
Their stupid monopoly money
Can't take 'em seriously at all
"SHUT THE HELL UP, KANKURO!" screamed Izuka and Temari at the top of their lungs.
Kankuro instantly stopped singing at the two blondes' yelling.
"That song is stuck in my head again." said Gaara in a tired tone.
"Aw, poor you." complained Temari. Gaara just glared at his eldest sibling.
"Kankuro, a while ago, you said that Weird Al Yankovic basically bashes Canadians in that song. And now you're singing it?" asked Izuka as she looked over her shoulder at the face-painted puppeteer.
"Hey! It was Gaara who said that the Canadians didn't mind it and that it was all in good fun." piped up Kankuro.
"Ugh. Why the heck did I say that?" asked Gaara in his mind.
"Because you had an idiotic moment?" returned Izuka telepathically.
"Don't help." returned Gaara.
The group continued to run through the blistering desert as the sun continued to hover above them, showering the group in its dreadful rays. After about 10 minutes of silence, Kankuro started to sing Weird Al Yankovic songs, again. This time, he was singing his own version of "Party in the C.I.A", calling it "Party in the ANBU".
I moved up to Suna recently
With a plain and simple dream
Wanna infiltrate some shinobi land
And topple their regime
Those men in black with their matching kunai
Give them a look and then you'll just die
Ninjas got that power
Gaara is so sour
Gaara gave his brother a murderous look, but because Kankuro had his eyes closed, he didn't notice at all and just continued singing. Izuka and Temari just chose to ignore the singing puppeteer as best as they could. It wasn't working.
I'm feelin' nervous but I'm really kind of wishing
For a S-rank mission
That's when the red alert came via the ANBU spy
And I put my cat hat on
Got my purple face paint on
And I got my puppets drawn
"Did he say that right?" asked Izuka. "In my opinion, no, no he did not." returned Temari continued. Kankuro just kept singing.
So I get my ninja mask
Exploding tags
My classified S-rank mission
Spying on the Sound like yeah, annoying my brother like yeah
Gaara tried to plug his ears, but to no avail. Kankuro was still singing, annoying the hell out of everybody.
Memorized all the enemy spies I've got to neutralize today
Yeeeaaahhh, it's a party in the ANBU!
Yeeeaaahhh, it's a party in the ANBU!
"Kankuro that last part didn't even rhyme right!" screamed Temari. Kankuro didn't hear her.
I've done a couple of crazy things that almost gotten me dismissed,
Like eat away at Gaara's cookie plate, that really, really got him pissed
"You got that right." said Gaara inwardly. Izuka smirked since she was slightly listening in to Gaara's thoughts.
Burn that secret file, buddy, will you
I'd tell you why but then I have to kill you
You need a quickie confession
Yamanakas do mind-reading sessions!
"Kankuro, the Yamanakas are in KONOHA, they don't live in SUNA!" yelled Izuka. Kankuro . . . well, you get the idea.
"Just let Kankuro sing until he's done. We're wasting our breath and Kankuro is just going to blatantly ignore us until he's done. He's bound to finish sometime." said Gaara in a defeated manner.
"Alright, if you say so." said Temari.
Now, where were we, oh yeah. :)
No hurry on this daimyo dictator
I'll assassinate him later
That's when he walked into my laser sights
And my poison dart was shot
And my poison dart was shot
And another villain I got
Yeah, we've got our ANBU all over the land
From Konaha to Kiri;
Payin' the bribes like yeah, killing the traitors like yeah;
Interrogating the scum of the lands, we'll break them by the end of brunch
Yeeeaaahhh, it's a party in the ANBU!
Yeeeaaahhh, it's a party in the ANBU!
Need a country stabilized?
Look way further, we're not your guys
We got matching suits and masks
And we'll kill all enemies if you ask!
Better put your hands up and surrender right now
Or else you die where you stand
Stagin' a coup like yeah
Brainwashing siblings like yeah
We only torture enemies of Suna,
So only the 4 other Great Nations will be okay
Yeeeaaahhh, it's a party in the ANBU!
Yeeeaaahhh, it's a party in the ANBU!
Kankuro FINALLY finished his song parody. Before he could sing another one, Gaara, Izuka, and Temari stopped him dead in his tracks.
"SING ANOTHER SONG AND WE'LL RIP YOUR TOUNGUE OUT!"
Kankuro paled at the combined scream. After that scream, he was too scared to sing another song, period.
"Good, now that you understand how to shut up via death threat, we can run in peace." said Izuka as they continued on their way to the daimyo's palace.
Kankuro only nodded, now afraid to speak a word.
Meanwhile, the group's mysterious follower was glad that Kankuro stopped singing. The stranger wasn't that close to the group's location, but had amazing hearing. Unfortunately for the stranger, he heard the entire song. And his ears were bleeding because of it.
End of chapter 8.
Author's Note: It took me a while to come up with a parody for a parody for a song. I do not own "Party in the C.I.A" or "Canadian Idiot". They belong to Weird Al Yankovic. Please enjoy, please review, and please visit my profile page and vote on my poll!