Warning: This story is incredibly disturbing, I would have uploaded this much sooner but my computer broke down and I have to read and review it...AGAIN! Do not read this if you have an extreme fandom of MLP or a weak stomach. You have been fairly warned. Also, I will go no darker than this story per Zivon and my own requests, things like Agony in Pink will never be reviewed...unless we feel we're at a place where we won't get banned.
The air was warm, the sun was shining, and all of Ponyville was having a glorious day. The town square was bustling and crowded. Busy ponies were making their busy way through the streets. All the pony folk seemed to have somewhere to be. (Yes, and I'm busy wasting my time on a poor plot materialization. Sin Count: 1) All, except Rainbow Dash. (Really...that's a horse name? Sin Count: 3) Her place was in the sky. She freely tore through the air, speeding one way and the next. She buzzed the tree tops and raced the wind. The pegasus swooped over a schoolyard, much to the delight of the children. (Maybe they're hoping it ends with a smear on the ground. Sin Count: 4. Climbing several hundred feet, she dove, going as fast as she could. Seconds before hitting the ground, her wings flew open and she took off back into the clear blue. Rainbow felt alive. (That won't last. Sin Count: 5.)
Then she remembered that she had somewhere to be; she supposed to meet with Pinkie Pie in five minutes. (Another terribly childish pony name? Sin Count: 8.) She'd gotten so caught up in her exercises that she nearly forgot.
Pinkie had asked Dash to meet her at Sugercube Corner at three. (That's where horse prostitutes meet and get paid in, what else, sugar cubes. Sin Count: 9.) She didn't say why or what they'd be doing, but Dash knew that with Pinkie, it could be anything. (A dramatic reenactment of Mister Hands? Sin Count: 10.) She wasn't sure if she really wanted to go, though. She was so engaged with her stunts that she thought about blowing Pinkie off to continue flying. But, Dash's conscience got the better of her. She knew that it would hurt Pinkie's feelings; after all, she said it was going to be something special just for the two of them. (Two horses, one trough? Sin Count: 11.) She considered it and thought "why not." What did she have to lose? (From what I've read on know your meme, A LOT! Sin Count: 12.) Heck, it might be more pranking. Pinkie might have found a bunch more fun stuff to pull off on folks. They'd so much fun the last time. (Mind telling us what it was? Destroying a handicap ramp? Slashing someone's tires? Denying the Holocaust? Burning the Koran? WHAT?! Sin Count: 13.) Dash kicked it into overdrive, mostly to make for lost time, and sped to her appointment. (Alright, this raises two questions, how does this bird/horse fly faster and, for that matter, how the hell does Superman fly faster? Sin Count: 14.)
When she walked into the store, she was immediately greeted with her host bouncing in excitement.
"Yay, you're here, you're here. I've been waiting allll day." Said the jumping pony.
"Sorry if I'm a little late, Pinkie. I was doing my afternoon exercises and lost track of time." Dash apologized.
Pinkie giggled and responded, her tone gleefully reassuring, "Oh that's ok, you're here now. What's a few more minutes. I've been sooooo excited thinking about all fun stuff we're gonna do, I haven't stopped bouncing since I woke up. I mean, I almost forgot to breath I've been so happy." (No please, stop breathing, I can't stand this already it's so dull and boring. Sin Count: 15.)
Dash gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh. She always appreciated Pinkie's friendly, outgoing way of life, but her overabundant enthusiasm almost creeped her out. (Run, bitch, RUUUUUUUUUUUUN! Sin Count: 16.) Dash was polite, however. If Pinkie was got this worked up, then it must good; whatever it was.
"So, you ready to get started, Rainbow Dash? I've got everything all ready." The pink one said.
Dash psyched herself up. " You betcha, Pinkie. You what do ya got planed? We gonna prank somebody? I got a couple of good ones I've been thinking about. Or maybe you got some stunts you think I should try? Or maybe…" (Take your sunshine bullshit...horseshit and blow it out your ass. Sin Count: 17.)
"MAKING CUPCAKES!" Pinkie happily announced. (...Really? If I wanted to see a horse give itself diabetes, I'd watch Sarah Jessica Parker eat a cupcake. Sin Count: 18.)
"Baking"? Dash was disappointed. "Pinkie, you know I'm not good baking. Remember the last time?" (Where was your last job, I'm no brony, let me know what happened or I'll just assume terrible things?! Did she work at Dachau? Aushwitz? WHERE?! Sin Count: 19.)
"Oh that's not a problem at all. I only need your help making them. I'll be doing most of the work." Pinkie explained.
Dash thought for about it for a second and replied, "Well, alright, I guess that's ok. What exactly do need me to do"? (Make this more interesting, I still have 7 PAGES TO GO! Sin Count: 20.)
"That's the spirit. Here you go." Pinkie handed Dash a cupcake.
Dash was puzzled "I thought I was helping you bake."
"You will be. I made this one just for you before you got here.
"So, is this like taste testing or something?"
"Sorta" Pinkie said. (She is eating a single cupcake to see how it is, that's taste testing you dipshit! Sin Count: 21.)
Dash shrugged and popped the pastry in her mouth. She chewed a bit and swallowed. Not bad. (Wow, that was such an essential part of the plot it had to be shared. Sin Count: 22.)
"Ok, now what?" Dash asked.
"Now," Pinkie informed "You take a nap." (Wat?)
Upon hearing that, Dash felt lightheaded. Her world spun and ,seconds later, she dropped to the floor. (The fuck is this, My Little Centipede? Sin Count: 23.)
When Dash regained conciseness, she found herself in a dark room. (I can't ignore this terrible grammar, 5 sins. Sin Count: 28.) She tried to shake her head but found that the taut leather strap kept it firmly in place. She struggled to move, but the braces around her chest and limbs glued her to the upright planks. (Wait, why'd the narrative increase dramatically? Oh you sick...10 sins! Sin Count: 38). Her legs were spread wide apart. (No, please, if I wanted to see horse rape, I'd go watch Mr. Hands. Sin Count: 43.) The only part of her not tied down were her wings as the frame was backless. As she writhed, Pinkie jumped into her line of sight.
"Goodie, you're awake. Now we can get started." She gleefully stated. She was pushing a cart covered with a cloth. (Is this cupcakes with a show? Before I make this pastry we'll engage in some torture porn! Cin Count: 44.)
"Pinkie, what's going on? I can't move!" Dash said in a worry. (No shit, Sherlock! Sin Count: 45.)
"Well, duh, you're tied down." Pinkie chided "That's why you can't move. I didn't think you needed to told that." (That's what I thought, but apparently this is the Special Ed Rejects version of MLP. Sin Count: 50.)
"But why? What's happening? I thought you said I was going to help make cupcakes."
"You are helping. You see. I ran out of the special ingredient and I need you to get more." (Correction, this is Pony Cannibal Holocaust. Sin Count: 51.)
"Special ingredient"? Dash was now breathing heavily and starting to panic. "What special ingredient"? (Let's see, you are strapped down, she has a bunch of covered objects, and it is dark, my guess is you're making glow in the dark cupcakes. Sin Count: 56.)
Pinkie giggled and responded "You, silly." (You grammar silly. Sin Count: 57.)
Dash's eyes widen, her face contorted in fear. Then she started to laugh "Woo, really got me there, Pinkie pie. I mean, tricking me in to thinking I'm gonna get made to a cupcake. I gotta tell you, this the best prank yet. You win, you're the best." (Please, please let this be a prank!)
Pinkie giggled even more. "Aw, thanks Dash. But I haven't done pranks today, so I can't accept your praise." (How does this go from a step above baby talk to a more sophisticated conversation? Sin Count: 62.)
Dash was struggling again. "Pinkie, come on, this isn't funny." (I checked, this is not a humor story. Do you honestly think this is a prank still, I'd be convinced I'm screwed as soon as I see I'm STRAPPED DOWN WITH MY LEGS SPLAYED! Sin Count: 67.)
"Then why were you laughing"? Pinkie grabbed the cloth and whipped it off the cart. The top of the tray contained various sharp medical tools and knives carefully organized and ready. There was a medicine bag and several other objects next to them. (Called it! Also, how is a horse going to grab an onject, it has no fingers last time I checked...or do they in this universe? Bronies, help me out here. Sin Count: 72.)
Dash was now in full panic mode. She was starting to hyperventilate. Her mind was racing and she tried to reason with the pink pony. "You can't do this Pinkie! I'm your friend!" (Wow, reasoning with someone who's already gone beyond the point of no return, strong move! Sin Count: 73.)
"I know you are and that's why I'm so happy it's that I've got you here. We get to share your last moments together, just you and me." She was skipping again. (That is the most fucked up thing I've heard since...I can't even think of a joke! Sin Count: 83.)
"But, the other ponies will wonder where I am. When the clouds pile up, they'll come looking for me and then you'll get found out." Dash was desperate. (Your super powers include flying and parting the clouds...boys, we just found a new Avenger! Sin Count: 84.)
"Oh, Dash" Pinkie said "don't worry, there are plenty of pegasus to take care of a few clouds. And besides, no will find out. I mean, how long do you think I've been doing this?" And with that the lights suddenly came to life and showcased the rest the room. (Let me get this straight, you are a serial killer, and your best friend doesn't even know about it...Yep, totally possible. Sin Count: 89.)
"Oh god, no" Dash reeled in horror at the image presented to her. (Hey, blasphemy in a kids show. Sin Count: 90.) The room was decorated with a typical but twisted Pinkie Pie flair. Colorful streamers of dried entrails danced around the ceiling, brightly painted skulls of all sizes were stuck on the walls, and organs done up in pastels filled with helium tied to the backs of chairs. The tables and chairs were made of bones and flesh of past ponies. Dash cringed at the center piece on the table nearest to her. The heads of four foals, their eyes closed like they were sleeping, wearing party hats made from their own skin. She recognized one of them as Apple Bloom's classmate. Her eyes darted back and forth and then gazed up at the patchwork banner hanging from the rafters. Made from several pony hides, the words "Life is a party" were scrawled in red. (OH...MY...GOD...WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD?! This is one of the most vivid things I've ever read, and it's for all the wrong reasons! 20 Sins for you and 5 for me. Sin Count: 110. DAM Sin Count: 4,000,000,005.)
Dash's attention was stolen by a party horn unfurling and tickling her nose. She saw Pinkie Pie standing in front of her. The party pony was wearing a dress quilted from cutie marks. On her back fluttered six pegasus wings, all different colors. As she skipped in excitement, her necklace of unicorn horns loudly clacked together. (Oh, that's nasty! Bronies, what the hell is a cutie mark, leave it in the reviews?! Sin Count: 120.)
"Like it"? She asked "I made it myself." (Really, I thought your mom ordered it for your birthday? Sin Count: 121.)
Dash pleaded. "Pinkie please, I'm sorry if I did anything to you. I didn't mean it. Please let me go. I promise I won't tell anybody." (Yeah, that always works. Sin Count: 122.)
"Oh Dash, you didn't do anything. It's just that your number came up and, well, I don't make rules. We can't turn back now." (Nope, this is The Pony Lottery.)
Rainbow Dash was tearing up. How could this be happening? (Because MLP fanfics are usually the most fucked up.)
"Aww don't be sad Dash" Pinkie said "Look this'll cheer you up. I brought you a friend."
Out of seemingly nowhere, Pinkie displayed a blue and yellow painted skull. It was about pony sized, but it had a very defining feature: a beak. (Wait, a legit horse/bird?)
Dash was freaking out. "Is…is that…is…that?" (t-t-TODAY JUNIOR! Sin Count: 123.)
"Hey, Dash lets hang together. These ponies are lame-os. Dweebs dweebs dweebs." Pinkie mimicked. "I caught her right before she left town. Remember when I left the party for about twenty minutes? That wasn't enough time to play with her of course, I had to wait till after the party to do that. But boy am I glad I did. It was worth for the flavor alone. (Holy shit, she is eating them! Sin Count: 128.) Griffons taste like two animals at once, it's amazing. (Oh really, you don't say?! Sin Count: 129.) I know she didn't have number like everyone else in Ponville, but when was I gonna get another chance to try a griffon. I hindsight, I probably should have asked where she came from so I can get more, but I forgot. I'll tell you what though, she was quite the fighter. Lasted a long time, which was fun for me, I got chance to play with somebody other than a pony and try new things. It's too bad she had such a potty mouth. She said so much bad stuff, I had to take her tongue out. You know, bad language makes for bad feelings, Dash." (WHAT...THE...ACTUAL...FUCK! I'm pretty sure bad words are the least of what you deserve. Sin Count: 134.)
Dash didn't have anything to say. She just sobbed and writhed. (Sounds just like my Senior Prom, haha, I'm here all week folks!)
"Well" Pinkie said, putting the skull down" that's enough reminiscing, it's time to begin." She picked up a scalpel and walked over to Dash's right flank. Without any flair, she placed the blade an inch above her cutie mark and started a circular cut around it. Her lungs working overtime, Dash shouted in pain and tried desperately to pull away. But the braces held her still. Finishing the incision, Pinkie grabbed the curved skinning knife from the tray. She worked it under the skin and sliced the hide away from the muscle. Dash ground her teeth as she tearfully watched as her flesh came off. Pinkie then moved to the other side and completed the other flank. Once she was done, Pinkie held up both cutie marks in front of her friend and started waving them like pompoms. Dash just whimpered. Her thighs burned. (... Sin Count: 149.)
Placing the skin down, Pinkie selected the large butcher knife and walked behind Rainbow Dash.
"Hope you don't mind, I think I'm gonna wing it now. " Pinkie laughed. (Really...as if the story wasn't bad enough, now shitty puns. Sin Count: 150.) She grabbed the left one and played with it for a second. Then, stretching the wing out, she brought the blade down at the base. Instantly, Dash screamed and thrashed her appendage. The movement threw off Pinkie Pies aim. She tried to hit the mark again but missed wide and put a huge slice in Rainbow's back. (Someone call MarleyTucker, I think we're about to lose the Brutality Face-Off. Sin Count: 151.)
"Dash, you gotta stay still or I'll keep missing." (Oh, well when you put it like that, EXCUSE MY ATTEMPTS TO ESCAPE TORTURE! Sin Count: 156.)
She took another whack and hit the target. She swung again and again, blood spraying into the air, but realized she wasn't getting anywhere. The blade just wasn't going through the bone. (You've got to be kidding me. Sin Count: 157.)
"Hmm, I guess I forgot to sharpen it. I'll try something else." She stated as she tossed the knife over her shoulder; the blade embedding itself in the table.
The crying Rainbow Dash heard the sound of a metal box opening and closing.
"Got it! Say Dash, why do they call it a hack saw? It doesn't hack; hacking is what I was doing with the knife. This is a saw. I don't get it." (This is literally starting to annoy me with the retareded puns and wisdom so shallow it snapped Christopher Reeves' neck when he dove into it. Sin Count: 162.)
Pinkie placed the tool over the last attempt. It effortlessly sailed through the bone and skin. The painful feeling of the teeth grinding biting into her made Dash want to vomit. (I'm not a squeamish person, but god damn! Sin Count: 163.) She watched helplessly as her wing flew over her head and land with a fluff on the table. Pinkie moved the next and started sawing. Dash didn't struggle this time; she'd given up trying to fight and just cried. (Another prom rape joke, anybody?) Then the sawing abruptly paused. Pinkie was only half way done, the wing hanging off by only a sliver.
"Hey Dash" she piped up "think fast" (What, are you going to smack her with her own wing, comedy gold! Sin Count: 164.)
Suddenly, she yanked the wing as hard as sure could. The bone snapped but the skin held tight. The pull ripped a long strip flesh down Dash's back to her rump. The unexpected trauma caused her body seize. She felt the warm release between legs as her pelvis tensed up. Dash's loud, unending melody of pain filled the room. Unable to catch her breath, she blacked out. (JESUS CHRIST!...I literally threw up in my mouth! That's like when you have a piece of skin hanging off the back of you fingernail and you rip it off and it won't break and it turns into a bloody stinging mess. 20 Sins! Sin Count: 184.)
She awoke with a gasp. The stench of her urine filled her mucus caked nostrils. (Correction, this is now R-Kelly: Rated MLP.) She saw a very pouty Pinkie Pie removing the adrenaline needle from her chest. Stomping her hooves, the frustrated Pinkie lashed out. (What are you pissed off about you c...I need to stop cussing at the internet. Sin Count: 185.)
"Didn't anybody teach you any manners? It's very rude to fall asleep when somebody invites you over to spend time with them. How would like if I came over to your house and went to sleep. "Oh I'm sorry Dash, you're boring, I think I'll take a nap." You think I like always doing this by myself. I told you how excited I got when I found you were next. I was excited to have to a friend be here with me while I worked. But NOOOOO! You've got to be inconsiderate. You know, I thought you were tough, I thought you could handle anything. I've had foals stand up better than you. Do I have to baby you? Huh? Is that how you want me to remember you, as a baby?" (That's it, who ever wrote this story is completely insane, lock them up now! Sin Count: 195.)
She stopped to catch her breath. Dash blinked and softly cried. Her back was on fire.
Pinkie then popped something red into her mouth and began to chew. She noticed Dash was staring at her.
"What?" she asked. "Oh this?" Holding up another piece. "Well, while YOU were asleep, I got a little impatient and helped myself sample. I got it from your leg, you're not bad. Wanna try some"? (What...I can't even...Sin Count: 200.)
Without waiting for a response, she shoved the strip of meat into the revolted Rainbow Dash's mouth. She immediately spit it out. Pinkie picked up. "if you didn't want it, you could have said no." She then ate the discarded snotty morsel. "It's not like you haven't had it before." (That's just like that scene in Hannibal where the guy eats his own brain. Also, I just threw up in my throat this time. Sin Count: 215.)
Swallowing, she turned her attention to the small can on the tray. She removed the lid, revealing that it was filled with burning coals. (Oh God, please, no more!) Sitting on top of the fire were several large nails. (Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ! Sin Count: 230.) Dash began to panic again. Pinkie picked up the can and walked over to Dash's left. Carefully picking up a nail and grabbing a hammer, she positioned the spike at the seam between her leg and her hoof.
"No! Pinkie NO!" Dash screamed. "NO! NO!" (For once, I agree, reason with it!)
The hammer came down and the nail punctured under her skin. The white hot burning was too much. Dash pulled and thrashed at the brace, her skin rubbed and tore. (Stop, just stop! Sin Count: 240.) Pinkie tried to line up another one, but couldn't find her aim. She let out a frustrated grunt. When she pulled the hammer back to take a wild swing, Dash burst out crying and begging.
"PLEASE STOP! PLEASE, PLEASE STOP!"
Pinkie rolled her eyes. Putting hammer back down, she walked back in front of her friend. She stared pensively at the broken pegasus. Gilda didn't even cry this much when she stuck that live parasprite down her throat. (A WHAT?!) Pinkie thought for a minute about what to do next. Then there was a sudden spark in her imagination. She grabbed the gear wheel on the rack and laid Rainbow Dash on her back. She moved to Dash's hind legs, bringing the can with her. Pinkie picked up the hammer again and she drove a searing piece of metal into the bottom of Dash's hoof. Dash screamed again: Pinkie put one into the other hoof. (Wait, depending on length, that should hurt here. Sin Count: 241.) Next she located the small generator on the tray. (No, just stop Pol Pony, dammit now I'm doing stupid puns! Sin Count: 251.) Tying the copper wires to the nails, she gave Dash a wink and flipped the switch. Electricity rocketed through Dash's body. The blue pony reacted immediately; body seized, muscles struck taut. Her hips thrust skyward and her eyes rolled back. She let out a deep, throat shredding cry. Pinkie giggled and danced in place. She turned up the juice. Dash convulsed uncontrollably. Her bladder emptied once more. (I give up on society at this point, this is the worst thing I've ever read...and still three pages to go! Sin Count: 261.)
After about five minutes, Pinkie shut off the power. The area smelled lightly of cooked flesh and burnt enamel. She put Dash upright again and tried snap the delirious and drooling pony to back to attention.
"Dash. Daaash. Wake up." Rainbow Dash managed to give her a modicum of weak acknowledgment.
Pinkie reached into the medicine bag and produced and large syringe. "Alright, time for the last round" (Yes, there is a God, thank you!)
Dash looked at the needle and Pinkie took that as a question as to what it was.
"Something to take the pain away" she informed as she walked around to Dash's ruined back side. She stuck the needle into the lower part of her spine. Dash flinched. (You can't feel it, how bad can it be...I just jinxed myself, didn't I?)
Coming to the front again, she told her friend, "In a few minutes, you won't be able to feel anything below your ribcage. Then you'll be able to stay awake to watch the harvest." (*Opens eyes was wide as possible* Now that is fucked up. Sin Count: 262.)
Dash started to cry again. "Pinkie" she trembled out.
"Yeah?"
"I want to go home." Dash openly sobbed. (Serious, far beyond too late my horsey. Sin Count: 263.)
"Yeah, I can see wanting to do that." The party pony replied. "Sometimes, I just wanna give up, say "I'm done with this mess" and go to bed. But you know what; you can't shrug off your responsibilities. You got to pull yourself up and meet the challenges head on. That's to the only way you're gonna get ahead in life." (Your logic gave me cancer. Sin Count: 264.)
Dash cried.
Minutes passed and the drug took affect. Dash was numb from her chest to her flanks. Aware of this, Pinkie approached with her scalpel. With only a smiling glance to Dash, she made a long cut across her pelvis just above her crotch. Moving up her body, she drew a similar incision under her ribs. One final cut was made down her stomach, connecting the first two. (She is getting dissected like a frog...folks, this story has everything! Sin Count: 265.)
"Looks like I got my I on you, Dash." (Just stop. Sin Count: 266. Also, bonus round, every pun equals double the sin.)
With a moist, gooey sound, the new door flapped opened. The sight of her own organs and the lack of feeling caused Dash's breathing to intensify. Pinkie sliced open the abdominal sac and grabbed the large intestines. (I'll give this sick bastard this, he knows his anatomy.) Separating it from the rest of the digestive tract and pulling them from the forming cavity, Pinkie was getting jovial and starting making jokes. (What did I just say?! Sin Count: 267.) Dash, growing weaker from the new source of blood loss, tried to shut out the comedy act. Pinkie was laughing. (I'm pretty sure you'd die instantly from getting your intestines pulled out. Sin Count: 268.)
"Look at me, I'm Rarity!" she said, slinging the tube around her neck and spreading blood in all directions. "Isn't my new scarf soooo pretty"? (The fuck is a rarity? Also, I detect puns! Sin Count: 270.)
Reaching back in, she cut the smaller intestine off the bowls. Squeezing out the excess excrement, Pinkie filed it through her teeth and dragged it back and forth. "Dentists say you gotta floss every day, Dash." (...That's beyond fucked up. Plus a pun. Sin Count: 275.)
Rainbow Dash was barely aware of what was going on anymore. The shock was causing her to fade. Pinkie got disappointed. Diving back into the guts, she ramped up her routine.
"Aw, don't go yet Dash." She started pulling out the rest of the organs, stopping at each one. "I know I can be a real painaceas, (Sin Count: 283.) but you know I'm just kidney with you. (Sin Count: 299.) You really got to learn to liver it up. (Sin Count: 331.) Boy, these jokes are getting bladder. (Sin Count: 395.) Guess ya gotta develop a stomach for them." (Sin Count: 523.) She placed the discarded body parts into a bucket, keeping the last one for bit longer. "Ooo, bagpipes." (Sin Count: 779.) she said, placing the tube in her mouth and the organ in her armpit. A spurt of acid hit her tongue. "Eww. Oh hey, there's your cupcake, Dash." (Sorry, I'm back. I ran to my toilet to dry heave, 20 sins! Sin Count: 799.)
Dash, didn't hear her. She had slipped from conciseness minutes ago. Pinkie, not satisfied yet, hit her with another adrenaline shot. (Nope, this is Pulp Pony. How is she grabbing all of this shit, SHE HAS NO HANDS! Sin Count: 800.) Dash woke up for the last time, her heart jumping. Her blood flowed out faster; it wouldn't be long now. (Praise Jesus, it's almost over! Otherwise, how is she still alive?! Sin Count: 801.)
Pinkie put Dash on her down her back and straddled her chest, scalpel at the ready. (I guess you could say she's riding her *puts on sunglasses* cowgirl. YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!)
"Ya know, Rainbow Dash, I'm disappointed. I thought you would have lasted longer. I really wanted to spend more time with you before we got here. But I guess it's my fault, I should have taken it a little slower. Oh well, it was really was nice knowing you, Dash". (I'll see you in hell too, you pink...I can't believe how angry this story is making me! Sin Count: 802.)
The blade sunk into the blue one's throat and worked its way up her chin. Coming back down, it circled around her neck. The last thing Dash felt was her skin being cut away from her skull, the metal scraping her teeth. (I have never cringed so hard in my life. Sin Count: 812.)
Then she was gone. (Lucky.)
Pinkie Pie stared into the mirror. She did a really good job, even keeping the eyelids. She winked, Dash winked back. Pinkie smiled.
But still, she was sad that her friend was now gone. It only lasted fifty minutes, not nearly as long as she wanted. She looked back the cadaver hanging there in the center of the room, the last of its fluids draining in to the pan. Yup, no more Rainbow Dash. (Well, let's see: you stabbed her, slashed her, mutilated her, electrocuted her, flayed her, took out her organs, and ripped her face off, sounds like anyone could live through that to me, too. Sin Count: 822.)
Then Pinkie cocked her head. She was starting to take notice of the fact that there really wasn't that much damage. "It fact", she began to think "I think…." An idea exploded in her head. She was good at sewing and she had all the pieces, all she had to do put her back together. (You've got to be shitting me. Sin Count: 827.) Yeah, just get some stuffing and bingo, she'd have Rainbow Dash forever. (This is like how Maori eat people to disrespect them, just thought I'd point that out.) In fact, that's what she'd do for all her friends when their numbers came up. (Wait, SEQUELS?! Sin Count: 847.) She was so excited, she skipped over to the body with the skinner to get started. The cupcakes can wait; Pinkie had a friend to make. (This is not how you make friends. Also, that was a pun! Sin Count: 1,359.)
Silver Spoon suddenly woke up. (THERE'S MORE! Sin Count: 1,360.) She was on her back and couldn't move. She couldn't see. Where was she? Freaking out, she was just about to scream when the pony from the bakery appeared in front of her.
"HI!" she giggled
"Where am I, what's going on"? The frightened little foal asked. (Wait, this is a kid!? Sin Count: 1,380.)
"Oh, well, you see, your number came up and I gotta make cupcakes." Pinkie explained.
"W…wha….what does that mean. What are you talking about"? (You gon' get raped. Sin Count: 1,381.)
"Oh, nothing. I wouldn't worry it if I was you. It'll be over soon." She approached the girl, scalpel at the ready when a small voice called out from behind. (A voice of reason!?)
"Miss Pinkie, what are you doing"?
She paused and turned to look at Apple Bloom. The yellow baby pony walked up to her with an angry look on her face. Silver Spoon started to feel relived. (Thank God, it's over, she's caught!)
"Ah can't believe your doing this." She pouted. "you said this one was gonna be mine. (WHAT! WHAT THE FUCK! Sin Count: 1,391.)
Pinkie apologized "Oops, sorry about that, guess I got forgot. Here you go." She handed the blade over. (That's it, this pink horse is Kony, you know that thing that was a hippie bandwagon a couple years ago and now no one gives a shit. Sin Count: 1,396.)
Apple Bloom climbed on the table and stood over her prey. Silver Spoon tried to struggle. She stared in fear at Apple Bloom and her apron. The pink apron with a shiny tiara on it. Silver Spoon started to cry. (I hate this so much. Sin Count: 1,397.)
Apple Bloom grinned and open her mouth "Hey, Silver Spoon, guess who gonna be a blank flank"? (I read the whole thing and, since I have OCD, three sins! Sin Count: 1,400)
The Rant:
I'm going to start this rant off with nearly every review about this, "OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT D:?!" I can't believe I forced myself to read this, and I laughed my ass off at one point! First, let's start with the author, what the fuck is wrong with you?! You have written the most disturbing thing I've ever read purely for your own pleasure. Seriously, someone find this guy before he commits a school shooting. And they'll go on his computer and find he used FanFiction, so Fox News and all of its pompous, retarded glory can hop on its high horse and blame everything but he right thing. Then the content, it was amazingly vivid for all the wrong reasons! I laughed and almost vomited on several occasions. I've heard, smelled, tasted, touched, and seen things that made me nearly puke, but never have I read something that does that! I feel like I was just raped, I honestly feel filthy. To put things into perspective, let's compare badfics. My Immortal, what I considered the worst grammar and plot-wise, is like George W. Bush, illiterate, a mistake, and half-retarded. Cupcakes is like Suddam Hussein, completely without conscious, insane, and a threat waiting to blow up in someone's face. Now, for something I have not nor will I ever read, Agony in Pink. From what I've read on Know Your Meme, it is the Caligula of badfics, immoral, perverted, and complete garbage. I totally underestimated how bad Cupcakes will be, now I see how wrong I was. I also underestimated Agony in Pink, which is supposed to be much worse, so nope, never gonna happen.
Total Sin Count:
1,400
Sentence:
Exiled to the most barren, dreaded place in all the land. (4chan.) Better yet, we give Mr. Hands a Viagra and leave you two kids alone.
Next Time: It's a medley of the most poorly written fanfictions of all time:
Half-Life: Full Life Consequences complete series.
And
Doom: Repercussions of Evil