EVERYTHING

WRONG

WITH

Halo: Halos in Space 2: Aliens attack

(In 3 pages or less)

Joe Chief (Joe Chief. Sin Count: 1)bended his leg and his other legs and lookd at big wepon (Is this the same 'big wepon' that you fired at warships? Sin Count: 2) and tear droped down his eyes (Tears only come out of your eyes, then they drip down your face. Sin Count: 3) (Also, the hell are you crying about? You haven't given a single sh*t about your fellow humans, not even when they were gunned down, explosively decompressed or flattened by falling ships! That's five more sins and I haven't even finished the first paragraph! Sin Count: 8) and said "alien you shoot at my human people and kill and shoot at them! No more or else!" (You better be scared, he mentioned shooting twice. Sin Count: 9) (Also, even if you surrender, I'm not sure he speaks enough English to understand it. I know for a fact that I can't decipher what the hell he's saying, so he probably can't understand you either. Sin Count: 10) then Joe Chief grabed the wepon on his back and standed up.

All every where aliens was shooting and making booms on human people around the Halo place. (This sentence is worth at least five sins. Sin Count: 15)"No over there no over there!" (What? Sin Count: 16)a human guy said to another human guy becaus alien things are going to them (WHAT? Sin Count: 17). "No we die soon!" the other human guy said back to the other human guy after. "No you dont die soon!" Joe Chief yelt back to the human guys. "Yes we do!" (We'll die damnit! And there's nothing you can do about it! Sin Count 18)human guys shout back. "No look" Joe Chief said then BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM (We interrupt this Halo story to bring you the Black Eyed Peas. That's a sin for every "BOOM" Sin Count: 22)Joe Chief shot the big huge wepon (We've upgraded from big wepon to big huge wepon. Sin Count: 23) that lookd like a cannon on a pirat ship but smaller and more bigger bullets (Blackbeard rolled in his grave when that was written. Sin Count: 24) (Also, smaller gun with 'more bigger bullets.' I don't know if the bullets are only larger than cannonballs or if there are more of them, but wither way that's not possible. Sin Count: 25). The aliens around had no heads no more becaus the wepon blew them to teeny weeny pieces (make up your mind, did you blow them up or decapitate them? Sin Count: 26). "Yes thank you Joe Chief!" both human guys said at the same time together. (And here I thought you guys wanted to die. Sin Count: 27)

After Joe Chief helped them he went away to helped other human guys. But right then a HUGE aliens ship (Is it bigger than the 'big huge wepon?' Sin Count: 28) droppd down from teh space skies (First space tv, now space skies. Sin Count: 28). Joe Chief tryed shootin big booms (Shooting big booms. Sin Count 29)at it but no thing happend cus aliens ship had a lightningy (Lightningy again. Sin Count: 30) thing on it that made booms blow up to fast (This lightningy thing can blow up your explosions quickly. Sin Count: 31). Joe Chief said "What!? How when i have this wepon i cant kill big alien ship?! Now I have no bullets!" (I'm pretty sure you were firing explosives though, and they could work on warships before. Sin Count: 32) (Also, great strategy there Joe, loudly announcing to the enemy that you're out of ammo. Sin Count: 33)and he yelled it really loud. Joe Chief jumpd over dead aliens with no head really fast to get to big wepon place (If the big huge wepon didn't work, what makes you think a regular big one will have any effect at all? Sin Count: 34). It wasnt there but Joe Chief said "hurry!" then it came on the ground becaus wepons get born in Halo Town from some place you cant see (Yes, the walls spawn big wepons in Halo Town, and all you have to do is yell at them to do so. I wonder why Master Chief didn't think of this. Sin Count: 35) (Also, Halo Town. Sin Count: 36). When Joe Chief was puttin it on his back again the aliens ship saw him and punchd a button to make missil come from it to go to Joe Chief. It blew up every place and Joe Chief but Joe Chief had a shield but it was all gone after (Rockets in Halo will kill you, shield and all. So no, he's dead now. Sin Count: 37) so Joe Chief waited for the bzzt bzzt chhhhhrg and the shield got back. (I don't have the proper words to describe this stupidity, so I'm just going to hit my head against my keyboard and let you try to sound that out fgrtvfv\dfgthyjungtfv\ASGFRTHYJU. There, that should do it. Sin Count: 40)

"Nice try alien ship but now i have shield again ha ha ha!" Joe Chief yelled at ship (Please continue to announce your position, it's easier to target you that way. Sin Count: 41)then ship said "dont laugh at me ill show you!" (Ships don't talk. Sin Count: 42) and punched another missil (Missil punching. Sin Count: 43) at Joe Chief but then some human people droved to Joe Chief on a War Thog (War Thog. Sin Count: 44)and picked him up and drove away befor missil hit them (That was either a really slow missile or a really fast jeep. Sin Count: 45). "Joe Chief a general befor said that the boss alien (A Prophet? Maybe a Zealot? Brute Chieftain? What? Sin Count: 46)is on the big ship we need to kill boss alien to make them go far back to Alien Town (Alien Town. Sin Count: 47) okay?"a human guy with a cool helmut (Ugh. Sin Count: 48)said. "Okay lets kill all them!" (Jut remember, this is the guy who last time said they should make peace with the aliens. But sure, let's just kill them all now. That's worth at least ten sins. Sin Count: 58) Joe Chief said. "Wait you hear that?" (Hear what? Sin Count: 59)helmut human guy said. "Yes I dont know what is it" Joe Chief said. "It is me!" a big alien with spines on the back of it and a shield like Joe Chief said. "Oh now i kill you!" Joe Chief said. (Just like I plan to kill all of you to make peace with you. Sin Count: 60) (Also, what kind of Covenant alien is this? All we know is that it has spikes and an energy shield. It sounds like a hunter, but hinters don't have energy shields. Sin Count: 61) (Also, what was this alien doing that warranted shooting it? Joe Chief is a racist. Sin Count: 62)

The spines alien shot a needle gun at the War Thog (War Thog again. Sin Count: 63) and killt the human people (How many people does he think can fit in a warthog? Sin Count: 64)and the needles stuck in the helmut (BOOM Headshot!) of the human guy but then they stuck in his heart so he died anyways (He should have been dead after the first shot, why waste another? Sin Count: 65). Joe Chief jumped from it and landed on his hands and then flipped even thow his space guy armor was heavy (He's a Gary Stu, he can do whatever he wants. Sin Count: 66). "Spines alien we can fight with wepon like babies or fight with hands and feet like strong guys!" (This line. Sin Count: 67)Joe Chief said out loud to spines alien. "Joe Chief i am not a baby i will fight you with hands and feet" (How does this guy know the idiot's name? Sin Count: 68) (Also, who would try to beat an alien covered in spikes to death? Even the Reds and Blues aren't that stupid! Sin Count: 69)Spines alien says back (Uh, no, you should definitely just gun him down now. Sin Count: 70). Joe Chief charjed at spines alien with his fist out ready for a big punch but the spies alien turned around and Joe Chief punched spines "OWW" (Yeah, you just impales your hand on a spike, it'll be useless now. Sin Count: 71)Joe Chief said but he broke the spines off so the spines alien said "OW" to (Why would that hurt you? It's a piece of your armour! Sin Count: 72). Joe Chief looked at the big alien ship and saw that the doors was closing (Wait, when did he get close enough to see that? Sin Count: 72)and he was running out of time so Joe Chief said "now you die!" then with a lot of power from his whole body Joe Chief stepped back then swang (Swang. Sin Count: 73) his arm really really really fast you couldnt see it becaus it was a blur then PLOW right on the spines alien face. The spines aliens face blew up (Explosive punches. Sin Count: 74)and brains and blood and guts went all over (Why guts? You hit him in the face. Sin Count: 75). The doors were closed almost so Joe Chief ran fast and jumped to try to get under the door, but...

to be continued...? (Normally a cliff-hanger ending like this would piss me off, but in this case I'll let them off with one sin and just assume the door closed and cut him in half. Sin Count: 76)

The Rant:

Again, this is why we can't have nice things. I don't know how, but this was even worse than the first one. What more can I say about this colossal pile of elephant cankers? It's badly written, poorly worded and I'm sure if it were a movie it would be badly acted. It's one of those fics so bad that you are nver sure whether or not it's a trollfic.

STORY SIN TALLY: 76

SENTENCE...

Boom Boom Pow

(Hell)