Chapter 6:

A/N:

Yo guys/gals/attack helicopters. I've been reluctant to do an A/N so far, but I thought it might be a good idea to reach out and solicit some feedback from you guys.

I really appreciate all the kind words, follows, favs, and reviews. The reviews especially are really important to me, I like to read through them on a long day. It's pretty much what motivates me to keep on the grind.

So thank you to everyone who has shown support. I hope this continues to live up to your expectations.

I've never seen Hikki laugh like that. Not even once.

"Yuigahama-san, are you listening to me?"

"Ah, yeah Yukinon! Sorry I got a bit distracted."

I can't imagine what I would even say to get him to laugh like that.

"I can't say that I understand Hikigaya-kun's actions, but he did seem happy. Perhaps we were wrong to follow along. Perhaps he's found his something… genuine"

The words dripped off her tongue like poison. Her face was scrunched up, like from a bad aftertaste.

"Ahhhhh, I don't know Yukinon…"

But that's not fair!

"Perhaps we shouldn't go inside Yuigahama-san."

"NO! We have to Yukinon! Komachi said she's, like, really bad news. When is Komachi ever wrong about her brother?"

Who the hell does this 'Orimoto' girl think she is?!

"Hmmmm, maybe you're right. I must say, this is very… confusing for me. I'm not entirely certain what the right thing to do is."

"We have to protect Hikki! We have to protect our friend! She's bad news Yukinon!"

But what if I'm wrong? I mean Hikki's… happy. Or at least he looks happy. I've never seen him like this.

Does that mean… I can't make him happy?

The restaurant was not nearly as busy as I thought it might be. In fact, it's worrying how empty this place is. You'd expect tonight to draw at least reasonable crowd even if it wasn't very good.

The last thing I'd like to do on my first date is have a terrible dinner. This isn't the place to be.

"Should we just leave Orimoto? I'm a little worried how few people are here."

"Ah you're right, it isn't very crowded is it? Well that's to be expected. After all, it's 8:15. We're between the normal dinner rush, and the second one which happens when the train gets in at 8:30. It should fill up pretty soon."

Ohhhh? I hadn't thought of that. That was very impressive Orimoto, how did you know all of that? And all off the top of your head too.

As I mentally applauded Orimoto, the hostess came up and greeted us.

"Hello and welcome!"

She stopped for a moment, eyeing us up. Her gaze shifted from our faces to our linked hands, and a smile spread across her lips. She turned around, I assume to look at the current seating arrangement. After surveying the somewhat pitiful situation, she turned back to look at us. A subtle nod of her head seemed to indicate she'd finished whatever mental processes she had been engaged in

"Are you two on a date? That's so cute!" Her smile grew broader as a happy-looking couple passed by us. "In fact it looks like our best table just opened up. Would you two like the booth by the corner window?"

It might just have been that her smile hit an apex as she said that line, with her teeth flashing like pearly-white knives, but I felt a distinct chill run down my spine. That booth sounded like something I wasn't high enough level to deal with. Looking over, I confirmed my suspicion. In fact, I'm not 'suspicious' anymore at all. I know that booth is evil!

Well… maybe evil is a bit of an exaggeration. It's definitely super worrying though.

It's shaped kinda like a small horseshoe. Unlike all of the more traditional booths in the restaurant, there's no natural divide between sides/edges. In theory one could slide all the way around the table, which might come in handy for larger groups now that I that I thought about it. However, those thoughts can go jump in a lake because this table would be useless for large groups of people. In fact, it definitely shouldn't even be used for groups of two people! Its problem lay in the fact that it was insanely small. So much so, that there was a 100% chance of near constant physical contact between Orimoto and I.

I shuddered as I thought of the damage I'd already sustained trying to keep my composure through this hand-holding. Trying to imagine how bad it would be; constantly bumping up against her, brushing her thigh accidentally… I couldn't take it! That option has to be plan 'Z'! I don't wanna!

'The booth by the corner window'

I'm pretty sure that could be the name of a horror flick. I'm fairly certain that I've heard rumors about people dying in there. I'm moderately confident there's a ghost that curses who people who sit there. I'm somewhat positive that couples bold enough to take that booth invoke the wrath of the Rom-Com Gods!

Oh-my, no.

Let me repeat that…

No. Thank. You.

So in response to your question hostess-san –

"Yes! That sounds great, let's do that! Is that okay… Hachiman?"

No. Fucking. Way.

"Ah, yeah sure. Sounds good to me." I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

Goddamit all, why'd she have to call me Hachiman.

This girl is like my Kryptonite.

I was of course, completely justified in my fear of the dreaded table.

This level of proximity would be inappropriate for a married couple, let alone two kids on a date. What was the restaurant thinking, making this table so small? Does the owner have some really weird proclivities or something? I'm flattered that you want to watch me owner-san, however… I'd like to give my consent on something so personal first.

Well I suppose I did give consent by sitting here in the first place. I would like it stated for the record however: I, Hikigaya Hachiman, do not like this situation! I don't like it one bit.

Or at least I'd like to say that. But Orimoto… she's so close, and her arm keeps brushing up against mine.

Honestly this is probably a best case scenario for a loner like me. I mean, she's really pretty, like she looks gorgeous right now. Not that I think that or anything. I'm sure that's what a normie would think though.

But this proximity though, it's giving me the sweats. It's so gross, what if she sees it? I need to clear my head, but I need distance for that. No, I don't have time, I need to wipe my forehead right now. It feels like a waterfall is about to cascade down my face. That might be nice though, it might just douse the horrifying blush. It's feels like red ivy has grown up the side of my face.

Ah! I'm halfway insane, I need to do something!

Unfortunately as I moved to wipe my forehead, Orimoto shifted as well.

I felt my hand drag itself up her arm. Her smooth skin glided past my own, a delicate cloth wrapping my senses in velvet. Her eyes, downcast since we got into this devil-booth, snapped up towards mine. My instinct was to recoil away however, I wasn't really afforded the space to do that. I sat, locked in her eyes' vice like grip. She was so unbelievably close to me. I could feel the slight slither of her breath. Somehow, despite the already close confines of our environment, she shifted closer to me. Subtly, almost impossibly so, her face inched closer. It seemed impossible, like I was having a dream within a nightmare. The whole world became so much noise and movement. Everything else was suddenly inconsequential. I found myself thinking that there was not a single other important stimuli worth paying attention to.

I was wrong of course. Since we were, you know, in public and all that.

"….Mhhhmhmph!"

The waitress cleared her throat, probably louder than she needed to. A number of heads turned towards us to see the source of the commotion. My blush, once a creeping red ivy, was now a blazing inferno spreading across my face. I turned my head down, this was too embarrassing.

"Alright Romeo, keep it in your pants. Or at the very least, order first."

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's up with that Ms. Waitress? That's a totally biased and unfair accusation. Just because I'm the guy, that means that I'm the aggressor here? I did not start that. Somewhere deep down there was a part of me that was ready to finish that interaction… but hey, that's not my fault.

Musing that however, I realized that Orimoto probably needed to be the one on the aggressive. I mean, I'm not exactly the quintessential 'alpha-male' stereotype that comes from the west. Actually, I'm much less action oriented that Orimoto. I guess she was the more 'masculine' personality in this case. Does that make me a girl? I bet I'd be a terrible girl.

Imagining what exactly a female Hikigaya was a pretty amusing thought. Would I just look like Komachi? Or would there be differences?

The idea brought a smile to face, but the smile was not reciprocal. The waitress made a face of disgust in return. Ha, seems like I took the smile right off your face and put it on mine. It's kinda like I stole your happiness eh? Well, you totally deserve it. Maybe next time, we don't pre-emptively insult customers based on gender.

Looking like she simply wanted to get this over with, the waitress went for our orders with little small talk.

"I'll just have the Udon please!" chirped Orimoto.

"Ah, I'll have the same actually."

The waitress, happy to be done with us, nodded and briskly strolled off. Probably to tell her coworkers about the disaster couple in the back of the restaurant.

Orimoto looked back at me and began chuckling, eventually started laughing almost as hard as we had outside.

"Oh, and what's so funny?"

"You Hikigaya! Isn't that obvious?" She managed to get out between peals of laughter.

"I don't think that ordering the same thing as your date is all that strange."

Though her laughter had just subsided, it began right back up again with that comment. I had to wait a full minute or two for this bout to die down. Come on Orimoto, some of us have stuff to do today!

"Oh, you still don't get it?" She tilted her head in confusion.

"No, I truly don't"

Nor do I want to, I think. But I suppose I've dove this deep down the rabbit hole. May as well hit the bottom.

"It's you Hikigaya! You just react in such a great way. Every time I think you've hit the pinnacle of funny things to say or do, you just one-up yourself. It's amazing!"

Ah, so, that's how it is. I guess it was a bit too much to assume I'm anything but a source of amusement. So, was all this just teasing Orimoto? That's too cruel, you shouldn't play with someone like that. In fact, I'll show you 'funny'.

As I looked up to tell her where she could shove my 'hilarious' reactions I found her looking away from me. Before I could get my words out however, her gaze shifted back.

This girl is something else. I thought Yukinoshita's eyes were over-powered as hell, but Orimoto tops even that.

Instead of interjecting to tell her how I felt being used as a toy, I found myself listening to the end of her little monologue.

"But it's more that really. I think it's funny… it's funny how ridiculous this all is. I meant all the things I said to you. I want something genuine, I want more than just friendship with you. I want to spend time around you. I want to hang out and go on dates, go to movies, and just sit around doing nothing. You're fun in a way I never thought I'd experience. You're smart, you know it, but I don't feel like you belittle those around you. You want to help people instead. I… I want you to help me. D- Do you think you could help me, Hachiman…?

The defenses I put up after the devastation of the first Hurricane Orimoto were stronger than those that preceded them. I put up my mental nostalgia blockers, just to make sure I wasn't being blinded by feelings of the past. I'd set reflexes to max, mostly to dodge any attempt at hand-holding or arm-grabbing (lewd). I'd repeated my loner mantra in front of the mirror to remind me who I was.

I was sure that they'd be no surprises. I assumed I would be able to parse things logically tonight.

I was, again, wrong.

No-one had ever said those things to me. No one had told me that they valued me. I was blown away, in every sense of the word.

My nostalgia blockers failed en masse. Old feelings from middle school surfaced like forgotten naval mines. I tried to navigate around them but myself bombarded with memories of sleep-less nights spent thinking about this girl. This girl… right in front of me. She was so close…

Reflex engines had failed as well. Somewhere in her speech, Orimoto had completely entwined around my arm. I felt her slender arm wrapped around mine, her fingers resting on top of the back of my hands. Her face, so close, tilted upwards towards me. So close…

I felt my loner-mantra bend. I felt the identity I had carved out the mountain of my life wash away. I felt the erosion of the rocks that had sheltered me from the ups and downs of life. Those were just memories now.

Did I even want to be a loner anymore….? I felt conflicted down to my very core. If I wasn't a -

"….Mhhhmhmph!"

The sound of a throat clearing wasn't actually as loud as last time. However, it felt like a cataclysmic, acoustic bomb to me. It shattered my whole train of thought, leaving me with a killer headache and some serious identity problems.

The waitress had returned. Plates in hand, with a scowl that seemed to stretch to infinity on her face.

"I apologize sir, it appears that 'Romeo' was unfair nickname to give you. She's clearly the 'Romeo' here. Here are your noodles. Enjoy."

Well that's much better. I told you that I wasn't the aggressor here!

Wait, no that's worse I think?

"Ah, I'll be right back."

I walked as fast as I could to the bathroom.

Dinner was shrouded in silence after that. Not that I was particularly upset by that fact, it was really probably for the best.

It seemed a good chance to reflect on what was said.

That speech had been heart-rending. There was a part of me that told me to sweep her off her seat and kiss her right there. I think if I hadn't been interrupted that may have been exactly what happened.

The question then became, was that a good thing? Was I ready to accept a break from my identity? Who was I if I wasn't a loner? Could I could I even call myself Hikigaya Hachiman if I wasn't a loner?

"NO" said my brain. I'd once worked hard to mold myself. The whole point of this was that I wouldn't have to work hard again. My loner tendencies allowed me to have a peaceful relaxing life. I wasn't forced to go on dates, to spend hard-earned allowance, or do other menial activities if I didn't want to. The life I had was a good one. I was living the dream after all.

"YES" came from my heart. Maybe I could still be who I was, but better. Maybe being a loner was just what I had convinced myself was right. I think I'm having fun, isn't that what I should strive for? I mean, this date has been a lot of work, but it's also been fun. Maybe it's worth it to put some work forward, if it means I get to be happy.

I didn't know. I needed time and space, neither of which I felt like I had.

I saw the waitress come and lay down the check. It was an event that didn't really register with me. I was unable to spend the time to think about it.

Luckily Orimoto found the strength the break the silence that encircled us.

"Want to split it Hikigaya? We both got the same thing, so it's easy to break it up."

How chivalrous of you Orimoto. Somewhere, deep under the racing currents of thought flooding through my head, I gave her 10 Hachiman points.

It may have been my imagination but somehow Orimoto was even closer than before.

"Ah. Sure…"

I felt myself pull my wallet out, take a bill out, and place it on the table. To be honest, I'm not even sure how much I put down, I hope it was right. I don't think I can be blamed for any mistakes I made on this one. I'm more than slightly preoccupied after all.

"Orimoto, I think I should maybe head home. I'm… confused right now. I'm sure this isn't going well… I'm sorry for any inconvenience. You're amazing, and please know it's me, not you."

I stood up and bowed to her.

My words and actions seemed to surprise her. That seems fair as it completely surprised me too. Leave it to my brain to find a way of out this mess. Good work brain. A little less coherent as it went on, but a decent effort. 6/10.

Thinking it was a joke, she started to chuckle at me.

I couldn't take it though. I knew if she started laughing, I'd have to fight down the maelstrom of emotions in me all over again. I couldn't. I wouldn't. I had to get out of here.

So I did.

I only caught a glimpse of her reaction as I started to walk away, but it seemed to be pure and total shock.

I just kept walking, trying to escape the frantic pull of my heart. It tried to anchor me down with any emotion it could throw at me; guilt, fear, sadness, anger… I felt them all like a chemical cocktail merry-go-around in my mind. I kept walking though, even as her heard her shout my name.

I walked straight out of the restaurant into the cool night air. I needed somewhere to hide, somewhere dark I could collect my thoughts. I quickly turned down the alley next to the restaurant. I breathed deep, a crisp chill flowing through my lungs. The mist surrounding my thoughts seemed to thin. I was out.

I wanted to collapse, was I an idiot?!

I just, literally, ran away from the one person outside my family who had ever shown me any romantic affection. She'd said such wonderful things…

Too wonderful Hachiman. Too good for you, remember that.

After all, what could you possibly give to her? You're a coward, you're not special, you're an idiot-

"Hachiman you idiot!"

Ah thank you disembodied voice. So good of you to confirm my take on the situation.

As I swirled around however, I found the voice to be anything but disembodied. A fuming Orimoto, eyes brimming with tears was staring me down.

"What was that!?" She demanded.

I found my tongue seemingly unable to move. Or put another way, my brain had no idea what signals to send to it. It appeared that being clever and keeping my distance didn't work against Orimoto. My brain had no words left for this situation. Perhaps that was better, logic had no place here. Logic could help me bring form to what I needed. Using logic I could force an outcome from a situation. Good or bad didn't matter, what mattered was that it was used once I had decided a course of action. Here I was left floundering, drifting outward on a sea of indecision. Of course my brain was of no use, it had no course to set.

My heart however… well let's just say it was tired of being kept out of the decision making process.

I found my voice in a flurry of pent up emotion.

"I'm confused! I'm so confused by you! You make me question who I actually am! I can't even begin to process half the questions you've brought about since yesterday. What you said to me caused so many ripple effects. You flipped my world upside down in a single afternoon! Yet, none of this seems to faze you at all! To top it all off, you just probably said the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me. Why would you even choose me anyway?! You're a beautiful girl with a good heart. I'm a cynical asshole who scares people off just by looking at them. This is wrong, I don't deserve this. The only thing I dese-"

Somewhere in the middle of my monologue her expression had softened. I guess some part of her understood the reasoning behind my actions. It was probably the case she'd thought long and hard about all this before she talked to me. She'd probably had months to work all this out. I'd had about a day.

Her gentle expression changed when I brought the topic back to myself. My self-doubt and anxiety seemed to set something off in her. As I verbally destroyed myself, her expression hardened again. She steeled herself, and then acted.

The exact physics of the event still don't quite add up my mind, but I can certainly explain the result.

In one swift motion she closed the distance between us. Her hand gripped my collar and pulled me down to her mouth.

I felt an explosion of flavor and pressure on my lips. Orimoto's hand weaved behind my neck to ensure escape was impossible.

I'd like to lie and say that I was totally cool about it, that I handled it pretty well.

I did not.

As I realized exactly what was occurring, something primal awoke in me. I shut my eyes and kissed her back, and I kissed hard. To her credit, she didn't flinch.

As I broke away for air she pushed me back into the alley's wall.

She kissed me again, with even more passion than the last time. Her tongue had apparently declared war on me, sending an advance raiding party into my mouth.

With the incursion of this sudden, new, threat my tongue seemed to regain functionality. I battled back heroically, taking in every moment of what was happening to me.

I had always assumed that a girl's tongue would be smooth, but hers was course and rough. Don't mistake me though, neither of those was a bad thing. It grounded me in reality. This was not a dream. This was reality, and reality was good

After what seemed just a moment, but could very well have been many minutes she broke off.

She hardly looked like the Orimoto I had seen at the station. Her face was red, her hair disheveled, her breathing ragged.

I was enraptured.