EVERYTHING

WRONG

WITH:

DOOM: Repercussions of Evil

(In 1 page or less)

John Stalvern waited (I already hate this story. Sin Count: 1). The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air (What does that even mean? Sin Count: 2). There were demons in the base (Well that came right out of the blue. Sin Count: 3). He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years (Well then how did you know they were there? Sin Count: 4). His warnings to Cernel Joson (Who or what is that? Sin Count: 5) were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway (Sorry, what? Sin Count: 6).
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS" (How in the name of all that is holy did he know this? Sin Count: 7)
There was a time when he believed him (What changed? Did you just stop believing psychic daddy? Sin Count: 8) (Also, John is a dick to dads. Sin Count: 9). Then as he got oldered (Oldered. Sin Count: 10) he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons. (Next time, listen to your psychic father. Sin Count: 11)
"This is Joson" the radio crackered (That's racist. Sin Count: 12). "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted (Gotted. Sin count: 13)his palsma (Palsma. Sin Count: 14) rifle and blew up the wall (Either the shot is really powerful, or the wall really weak because one shot is all it takes to knock the thing down. Sin Count: 15).
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons (Demons do not talk. Sin Count: 16) (Also, there's one of him and probably hundreds of you, kill his ass first! Sin Count: 17)
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon (I don't care how cyber he is, demons still don't talk. Sin Count: 18)and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed (Plasmaed. Sin Count: 19)at him and tried to blew (Tried to blew. Sin Count: 20) him up. But then the ceiling fell (How? Sin Count:21) and they were trapped and not able to kill. (Uh, no, that would definitely kill them. Sin Count: 22)
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted (They're all dead already! Sin Count: 23)
The radio said (Who the f*ck is talking on it? Sin Count: 24)"No, John. You are the demons" (Plot twist out of nowhere. Sin Count: 25)
And then John was a zombie. (I'm trying to find a sin here, I really am, but I think this might be the best line in the whole fic.)

The Rant:

I give up. If it weren't for the fact that this is a known trollfic, I'd be more angry here. It's a poorly written mess, but it was written badly intentionally so talking about how bad it is would just be feeding the trolls.

STORY SIN TALLY: 25

SENTENCE...

HELL
(You are the demons)