Unfinished Business, Unresolved Feelings chapter 2
Amanda boarded the closet elevator that would take her down to Billy's office with
a growing sense of dread. I just knew that I shouldn't have left Lee alone yesterday
no matter what he said. Why didn't I insist on staying…I don't usually give in to him
so easily. C'mon Amanda, you know why you left. I hate seeing Lee in such pain
when I feel powerless to help him. I wanted to believe that a good night's sleep
would help him and give me a chance to figure out how to comfort him. When the
elevator reached the level for the field section Amanda rushed out and practically
ran to Billy's office. As Amanda got closer to his office she noticed that the blinds
were closed which only made her more concerned than she already was. Amanda
knocked on the door and Billy shouted "Come in " in a particularly gruff voice.
"Good morning, Sir. Mrs. Marston said that you wanted to see me immediately"
Amanda said in as calm a voice as she could muster. Her voice might have been
convincing but her body language let Billy know just how troubled she was feeling.
"Sit down, Amanda. How was Lee when you left him last night ?"
"Last night ?" Amanda answered in that voice she used when she answered a
question with another question.
" Yes, Amanda, last night. I phoned Lee's apartment several times last night because
I needed to speak to him. He didn't answer the phone or respond to the urgent
messages I left. I must have started to phone him within an hour or so of when you
would have left his apartment."
"Well, I actually only stayed with Lee for a few minutes after I drove him home.
He seemed to be coming back to his old self , just exhausted. Lee insisted that I go
home to the boys because all he wanted to do was get some sleep. I shouldn't have
listened to him. I've got to go check on him right now."
"No. Absolutely not. Lee needs to start taking responsibility for himself and his
actions. He blatantly disobeyed my orders, he killed a man, and he could have
gotten you both killed yesterday", Billy said with his voice rising with each word.
" I know what he did, what we did, was wrong . Lee would never have done the
things he did if this whole case hadn't involved his parents' deaths. He needs time
to deal with his grief " Amanda argued.
"I don't mean to be cruel but Lee has had over thirty years to deal with the loss of
his parents. He's chosen to bury his feelings and run away from the chance to truly
get on with his life. Allowing him to continue this way is not doing him any favors.
Yes, losing his parents at such a young age and being dragged all over the world by
his uncle wouldn't be easy to overcome but Lee hasn't really tried to get past it.
As Billy continued talking Amanda was becoming annoyed and her posture was
becoming increasingly stiff. She finally couldn't listen to Billy blaming Lee for his
own problems anymore and she uncharacteristically interrupted him.
"Lee never asks for special treatment. He doesn't want people to feel sorry for him",
Amanda defended.
"He doesn't need to ask for special treatment because he's been getting it for so
long that he doesn't even recognize it anymore. And as for not wanting people to
feel sorry for him he has already cornered the market on feeling sorry for himself.
Lee went too far this time. What's worse is that you followed him. I've always
counted on you to be the responsible one, you rein him in when he is about to go too
far. This time you simply followed his lead and blatantly ignored my orders. I can't ignore that. You aren't civilian auxiliary anymore…you're an agent candidate and
you need to be treated accordingly." Billy took a deep breath, shook his head and
then continued with his reprimand. " Do you have any idea how I spent most of
yesterday afternoon?"
"I imagine you and Francine had to explain Blackthorne's death to the Secret
Service agents who arrived at his mansion" Amanda answered with her head
bowed.
"Can you 'imagine' how difficult it would be to explain why my agent, who was
ordered to stay away from Blackthorne, ended up killing him. Lee wasn't coherent
enough to explain his actions to me and you didn't have much time to explain what
had happened before you left to take Lee home. I was left with very little to say to
justify why my agent acted as he did. If Lee hadn't prevented the assassination of
Rene Sinclair I would have had nothing to say to defend his actions. As it is , that
only bought me some time. I need to meet with them and Dr Smyth this afternoon to
discuss the matter further."
"Lee didn't intend to kill Blackthorne. He just wanted to get him to admit that he
was responsible for the accident that killed his parents. Lee hadn't planned-"
"That's just the point, Amanda. Lee didn't plan…he hasn't been thinking clearly or
acting reasonably since he started looking into the circumstances surrounding his
parents' deaths. He abused his position with the Agency to further his personal
investigation. There have to be consequences for his actions and yours as well."
Amanda sat up straighter in her chair and looked at Billy with a mix of contrition
and sadness on her face. " I'm so sorry, Sir. I know we should have found a better
way to get the answers Lee needed. Please don't be too hard on Lee…he's really
hurting. I'm to blame for not trying harder to reason with him. If you have to fire me
I understand but Lee needs his career…it's his whole life" Amanda implored.
" I don't intend to fire anyone, although I certainly could. You will spend the next
two weeks concentrating on honing your self defense skills. I expect you to be fully
qualified to use a fire arm. If you are going to be an agent you need to be capable of
using a gun to defend yourself and your fellow agents."
"I'll learn, I promise I won't disappoint you . I'm sure Lee can help me to qualify in
less then two weeks ", Amanda stated confidently.
"No, Amanda. You'll be trained by Leatherneck. Lee will be suspended and not
welcome on any Agency grounds for the next two weeks. I want you to go upstairs
and prepare a full report on the Blackthorne case. I expect this report to be complete
and you will deliver it to me personally by one o'clock this afternoon."
"Yes, Sir. May I go check on Lee before I start on the report? I'm very worried
about him. He should have been here by now."
"Amanda, I care about Lee also. If I didn't I would be firing him instead of
suspending him. I expect you to get to work on the report right now. I'm going to go
see our Scarecrow and have a long overdue conversation with him."