Hello! Okay, so I'm sorry for going MIA for so long, but so much has happened. The largest reason this update has been so delayed is because the nerves in my wrist decided to protest and the doctor made me scale back the time I spent on the computer. So many apologies to you all! My wrist is on the mend still, so updated might still be slow, but I will try ssoo hard so not make you guys go so long without one.
Thank you so much for sticking with me though...you guys are amazing and I wouldn't still be here if it weren't for you!
Shout out to ispiltthemilk for letting me run some things by her and just being overall awesome. Check out her stories!
Speaking of awesomeness, check out sweetkiwi604's new story called Sisterhood of the Traveling Hunters! Kate, along with 3 other Winchester sister characters star in it :)
Last but not least, this chapter is dedicated to Hattiekatt! Her encouragement and support are just amazing and have helped keep me motivated :) Thank you!
Don't forget to leave a review and let me know what you liked/didn't like, thoughts, comments, anything and everything. Enjoy!
Okay, let's see…where did I leave off? Oh yeah, I had been dumped off at the motel while my brothers went off to celebrate the vamp beheading at the bar. I slammed the door behind me as I went into our room. Groaning, I went over and picked up Dean and Sams' duffels, along with my own and made my way back to the door. I looked from the closed door to my hands full of bags. Curse my need for a dramatic entrance. After somehow managing to get the door opened, closed again, and balancing 3 bags with no grace whatsoever, I strode down the hall to the door conveniently labeled Laundry.
As water began to pour into the machine, I opened up their bags and dumped the clothes into the machine, throwing my own in too. This wasn't even fair. I did one small prank on Dean and he went all ape shit. Geesh, we were all still off balance from Dad's death, there was no denying that.
I shook Sam's bag as the last sock fell into the machine. I tossed in some soap and my best friend, Color Catchers. You know them? They are my magical buddies that I can throw in with any colored clothes and the blacks don't bleed on the whites. Never heard of them? Huh, just me then, I guess. Separating darks and all that jazz is so 2 years ago. Which ironically was when I accidentally turned everyone's white shirts pink. Talk about a life changing moment.
Okay, okay. I'm getting off track again. Back to focusing my attention on my current anger at Dean who was with...Gordon. Oh Gordon. There was something off about him and I needed to get to the bottom of it. And there was only one person I could think of that might be able to help. And even though I had just met her, I knew she was my highway straight into Hunter Infolandia. So I pulled out my cell phone and called the Roadhouse, praying that Ellen would answer and not my arch nemesis Jo…oh that bit-
"Harvelle's Roadhouse," came the voice on the other end of the line, distracting me from my own thoughts. I let out a sign of relief when I recognized the voice to be Ellen's. The pagan gods were on my side. I'd have to remember to offer them up a thank you. Jo would make a good sacrifice I bet…nah she's so annoying they'd probably just get pissed off at me and then—woah, focus, Kate. Apologies.
"Hey Ellen, it's Kate Winchester," I reminded her incase she had forgotten to recognize me by how purely amazing and unforgettable my voice was.
"Kate, it's good to hear from you. You guys are okay, aren't you?" she asked. I could tell there was actual, genuine concern in her voice. That was something new. Most people didn't give a crap about us.
"Yeah, yeah, everything is all good in our hood," I assured her as she let out a small chuckle.
"Well what can I do for ya?"
"Since you asked… I have a question for you. You ever run across a guy named Gordon Walker?" Silly question, I know. Of course she had information. She was practically the editor of the Hunter's Quarterly newsletter.
"Yeah, I know Gordon," she confirmed.
"And?" I pied. Clearly I was calling for a reason.
"He's a real good hunter, but why are you asking, sweetie?" Did she just call me sweetie? I was pretty sure the last time someone had called me that had been sophomore year and I nearly took out the boy because I was not that kind of girl, you know. But for some reason coming from her it made me smile. Maybe I had misjudged her from the start. She was proving to be nice and caring, in a way.
"Well, we ran into him on a job. And Dean has it stuck in his head that we should work with him, I guess."
"Don't do that, Kate," Ellen replied sternly, suddenly going from her happy go lucky personality to deathly serious.
"But you just said he was a good hunter?" I countered. First she said one thing and now it was another. Make up your mind!
"Yeah, but listen to me. He is dangerous to everyone and everything around him. If he says he's working a job, you guys just let him handle it and get out of town as fast as you can," she explained, showing obvious concern for our safety.
"Ellen-," I began. I wanted her to explain exactly why he was a danger. I already knew that, but from the way she talked she had actual facts to back her opinion up, other than the 'he just gives me creeps' reasoning I had.
"No, Kate. You just listen to what I'm telling you, okay?" Judging by the tone in her voice, I needed to trust her on this one, which was hard for me to do, but since she was backing up my inner tuition, I agreed and we said our goodbyes. Well at least my paranoia and untrusting tendencies were actually justified this time.
Well now with the clothes in the wash and my Gordon investigation complete, all that was left to do was wait. And if the toaster incident wasn't clue enough, I'll just spell it out for you…I HATED waiting. Not like we had been in this town long enough for me to get a book from the library, my ipod was conveniently sitting on the backseat of the Impala, and the TV in the laundry room was broken. I saw three plastic chairs sitting in a row along the nearby wall. I shuffled over and laid myself down, closing my eyes and basking in relaxation.
My phone vibrating ripped me back to reality. "Yeah?" I answered without even looking at the caller id. Why even bother.
"Kate?" Sam asked.
"The one and only," I replied. I wasn't really sure who else he expected it to be. "What's up?"
"I just left the bar," he started to explain.
"Oh? You guys are coming back so soon?" It was hard to hide my disappointment. I wasn't ready to deal with Dean yet.
"No, just me. Dean's staying to hang with his new best friend," Sam explained, disgust and sarcasm dripping off of every word.
"Then why you leaving?" Normally they would just stick together.
"He called me Sammy."
"You got upset over that? You know you can't get Dean to change," I said as I sat up in the chair, realizing my peace was ruined now.
"Not Dean. Gordon," Sam seethed. That little creepy bitch crossed a line. First he called me little Katie and now he moved on to Sam. Oh no you don't. "That and he's an ass," he added for good measure.
"You're preaching to the choir, Sam. I called Ellen and she pretty much confirmed our suspicions about the freak," I began before I went into retelling the whole phone conversation I'd had earlier and we both agreed that we'd somehow have to convince Dean to pack up with us and get the hell outta dodge before something went wrong.
"Well, I'm heading back now. Dean gave me the Impala," Sam explained. Jealousy instantly sprang inside of me. If I ever wanted the Impala, I had to get it the old fashioned way. Stealing the keys behind Dean's back. Sigh. "You want me to pick you up something for dinner on my way back?"
I cringed as I heard the question. I knew he was just being a nice person and all, but he had no idea how I did not want to have to dance around that question. "Uh, no, I'm good. Thanks," I managed to get out.
"Really? You haven't eaten really anything today. I can bring back whatever. It's Dean's gas, not mine," Sam threw in the joke at the end to try to hide the fact that he was concerned.
"No, I'm fine…uh, the vending machine has a great selection for once," I lied through my teeth. I wasn't even sure where the vending machine was.
"Uh-huh…you sure?" he asked one last time.
"Yes!" That came out a little harsher than I had intended.
"Ok, fine. I'll be back later," Sam finished before we said our goodbyes and hung up. I instantly felt bad for snapping at him, not to mention flat out lying. But it was better this way. He wouldn't understand anyway. And Dean sure as hell wouldn't. How could I explain to them that the less I ate, the better I felt inside? Somehow not eating helped make sense of the deep pit I felt in my stomach. I couldn't make the emptiness go away after losing my dad. I knew it wasn't the right way to deal with my emotions or handle his death, but somehow by deciding to not shove food down my throat, I felt like I was at least in control of something. And since the rest of my life was in a downward spiral, it was actually a comforting feeling.
I pinched the bridge of nose. I couldn't handle anymore of the care and share stuff, even if it was with myself in my own mind. And as if right on cue, the washer buzzed, announcing it had finished. After transferring everything over to the dryer, I took my place once again lying down on the chairs. Wasn't the most comfortable of places, but I'd take what I could get at this point.
I must have dozed off because the annoying and excessively loud dryer buzzer jerked me away from dreamland. I quickly shoved all of the clothes back into the duffels, deciding that sorting and folding would be much easier back in the room.
I once again found myself in the same predicament as before. Hands full of clothes and a closed room door. After blindly fumbling with the key to unlock it, someone opened it from the other side and I was met by my oldest brother.
"Hey," I said sharply as I shoved his bag into his chest. I stepped into the room and immediately saw Gordon sitting at the table by the window. Ugh. I felt dirty just being in his presence. Not to mention unsafe.
"You guys sure are lucky to have a girl around to wash your clothes," Gordon remarked. I stopped dead in my tracks. Oh hell no. I threw the 2 remaining duffels on the bed before I turned to face the asshole.
"Excuse me?" I was livid.
"No offense," Gordon replied holding his hands up to show he meant no harm.
I took 2 steps towards him but Dean quickly cut me off, knowing where this was all heading. "Can I talk to you outside?" he said in a low voice, making it known it was not really a question. I threw one last glare at Gordon before my brother all but shoved me out the door, closing it behind him.
"What is your problem?" he demanded.
"Were you not just in the same room as me? Did you not here the insult that ass clown just threw at me?" Every word was dripping with anger.
"Yeah, but you gotta let that shit just roll on by because we're working a case with him and he happens to have some good info that can help us end these blood suckers," Dean explained, getting frustrated.
"'Roll on by?' You're kidding. I don't care if he knew how to kill freaking Big Foot, I'm not just gonna sit by and-," I said in a low voice, but was cut off before I could finish.
"Guys!" Sam yelled as he came jogging up beside us, appearing out of nowhere.
"Where you been?" Dean interrogated. Wait, how had I not realized that Sam wasn't back? Now that I thought about it, he should have been back long ago.
"In the nest," he informed. Our argument instantly forgotten, Dean and I instinctively moved closer to him, waiting for more details.
"How'd you find it?" I asked.
"I didn't. They found me," he explained, still in shock about it too.
"How'd you get out? How many of them did you kill?" Dean asked, overly excited now.
"None," Sam answered flatly.
"Sam, they just didn't invite you in for a beer and send you on your way," I said sarcastically. A nice vampire? Talk about oxymoron.
"That's exactly what they did," he responded. "Minus the beer," he added as an afterthought. Well good to know he wasn't partying it up with the vamps.
"All right, well, where is it then?" Dean demanded, anxious to get this show on the road.
"I don't know. I was blindfolded." Taken completely out of context, that could sound totally kinky. "All I know is we went over that bridge outside of town, but guys, listen. Maybe we shouldn't go after them," Sam practically begged.
"Why not?" I asked. I was completely torn. It goes bump in the night? It needs to die. Pretty simple, but Sam wasn't one to bring up something this big if he hadn't spent time thinking it all through, so I was open to hearing his reasons.
"I don't think they're like other vampires. I don't think they're killing people. They said they live off the animal blood, which explains all the cattle mutilations around here," he reasoned.
"And you believed them?" Dean snapped.
"Look at me! They let me go without a scratch." Sam held out his hands, gesturing for us to give him a once over. And he was right. Not a single rip in his clothes or anything. What was going on?!
"Wait, so you're saying…No, man, no way. I don't know why they let you go. I don't really care. We find 'em and we waste 'em," Dean finished as he started walking away, signaling that he wanted to end this conversation, but Sam having it.
"Why, Dean?" he yelled, causing Dean to turn back around.
"What part of 'vampires' don't you understand, Sam? If it's supernatural, we kill it, end of story. That's our job," Dean said, raising his voice. Apparently he wasn't as open to hearing the other side of things.
"No, that's not our job. Our job is hunting evil. And if these things aren't killing people, they're not evil," he threw back. Sam looked over at me, waiting for me to say something to take his side, I assumed. Even though I was open to hearing his reasoning, I was still on the fence on this one.
"Uh, I guess it depends on which dictionary you use to look up 'evil'," I blurted out. That was the best answer I could come up with on such short notice. I hadn't had time to process this whole revelation that something I'd always been told was evil, might not actually be evil.
Sam let out a frustrated sigh at my pathetic support. "Well we need to back off."
"You know, Gordon's been on those vamps for a year. I think he'd know if they weren't evil," Dean spat.
"Gordon?" Sam let out a sarcastic laugh.
"That's right," Dean defended.
"Ellen says he's bad news," he retorted as he threw a glance towards me and raised his eyebrows, as if asking me to contribute more to that comment.
"Seriously Kate? You called Ellen?" He made it sound like I went and tattled on him or something absurd.
"Yeah, so what? I think she has a little more street cred with the Winchesters than your new bff Gordon," I retorted. I stood by my decision to call her.
"You don't think I can see what this is?" Sam asked.
"What are you talking about?" Dean demanded.
"He's a substitute for Dad, isn't he? A poor one," he spat. There was a beat of silence as the weight of his words sunk in. And to me, it was actually all starting to make sense.
"That would explain why you didn't defend me in front of that idiot," I retorted. Sam threw me a puzzled look, not understand what he'd missed, but Dean's voice drew his attention away.
"Shut up. Both of you," Dean seethed.
"He's not even close, Dean. Not on his best day," he explained. I nodded along in agreement because it was obviously true. Dean held up his hand, signaling us to stop with this, and he turned to walk away, but Sam wasn't finished. No, we were going to have a full on confrontation right now. And quite frankly I was beyond thrilled that I wasn't about to be on the receiving end of this one.
"You know you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it," Sam accused, but his voice was laced with sympathy. I froze as his words really hit me. So I wasn't the only one who felt this deep, dark hole inside. "But you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory." I guess Dean and I both were finding different ways to fill that void we felt.
"Okay," Dean responded coldly. He started to turn away, but quickly turned back around and his fist connected with Sam's face—hard. A small gasp escaped my lips. I definitely didn't see that one coming. I mean we had always been taught that you don't fight with your siblings. Well not physical fighting. Unless we were training. Then that was a different story. Ugh, it's confusing, but I promise there's rhyme and reason to it.
"Dean!" I yelled as I reached out and held down his arm in an attempt to keep him from punching Sam again. I knew it was kind of useless because Dean could easily overpower me, but it happened out of reflex.
Sam just took the punch and turned back to face Dean, holding his hand up to his cheekbone. He held up his hands, as if inviting him to take another shot at him. "You can hit me all you want. It won't change anything."
"I'm going to that nest. You don't want to tell me where it is? Fine. I'll find it myself," Dean said in a low voice before he ripped his arm from my grasp, spun on his heel, and headed back to the motel room.
Sam and I were left standing there, trying to take it all in. "You coming?" Dean barked over at us from the door and I knew he was talking to me. I gave Sam an apologetic look before I reluctantly made my way to the room. I wasn't taking sides or anything, but Dean had that authoritative tone going on and I figured it would do me less harm if I just obliged. I was surprised to hear that Sam was following behind me. I assumed he'd go for a walk to cool off or something. He's always been the walking type.
Well turned out freak face Gordon went MIA, taking the Impala's keys along with him. Call it an educated guess, but we all assumed he'd been eavesdropping on our family meeting outside, heard the clue about where the nest was, and took off after the vamps. Dean reluctantly agreed to give Sam the benefit of the doubt and we all crammed into the Impala, ready to get to the bottom of this.
"I can't believe this. I just fixed her up too," Dean whined as he was hunched over, trying to hot wire the Impala.
"Karma," I said nonchalantly from the backseat. And we all know I was right. That's what he got for not seeing things correctly from the start of this Gordon mess.
He finally managed to get the car started and turned to give me the bitchy glare before he looked at Sam. "So the bridge, is that all you got?"
"The bridge was four and a half minutes from their farm," Sam informed us as he looked down at the map, tracing the path with his finger.
"How do you know?" Dean questioned, taken off guard by his precise answer.
"He's freaking MapQuest," I said. Told you so. The guy has a map built into his hard drive.
I saw a pull at the side of his lip; clearly he'd liked my compliment. And I was still jealous that I didn't have that super power. "They took a left out of the farm, then turned right onto a dirt road, followed that for two minutes slightly up a hill, then took another quick right and we hit the bridge."
"I take that back. He's better than map quest." I was shocked. He had to be better because there was no way these crap, side roads would even show up on MapQuest. Note to self: if we ever get caught up in a life or death game of capture the flag, I want Sam on my side. He's got some mad tracking skills for finding hidden paths.
"Yeah, he's good. A monster pain in the ass though, just like that one back there," Dean threw a nod in my direction. "But you're good," he finished, giving Sam an approving look. Not too often that Dean just throws out compliments.
With Sam's MapQuest ability and Dean's innate tendency to drive like a maniac, we finally pulled up at the old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. Shocker. We got out of the car and I made sure to put my gun in the back lining of my jeans as we made our way into the house.
Needless to say, I wasn't surprised to see Gordon there, hovering over what I assumed to be a vampire who looked like she had been tortured.
"Sam, Dean, little Katie. Come on in," he invited. My anger level instantly rose. What was with the little Katie?
"Hey, Gordon. What's going on?" Dean said calmly. It was like he was trying to talk someone down from the ledge.
"Just poisoning Lenore here with some dead man's blood. She's going to tell us where all her little friends are, aren't you?" Gordon said as he looked down at the vampire. "Want to help?"
I didn't miss the worried look Dean threw both of us. If it hadn't been a bad and probably slight inappropriate moment, I so would have said 'I told you so'. Dean cautiously took a few steps closer to him. "Look, man…," he tried to reason.
"Grab a knife. I was just about to start in on the fingers," Gordon said rather smoothly. He walked up to Lenore and I watched in shock as he drug the knife across her skin and pain spread across her face.
"Woah, woah, hey, let's all just chill out, huh?" Dean tried to slow things down.
"I'm completely chill." The sound of his voice is what sent chills through me. He was a whole different level of psychotic than even I had thought. How was he so okay with torturing?!
"Gordon, put the knife down," I said sternly, careful not to raise my voice. Nobody wanted to anger the bear. I took a few steps closer to Gordon, but Dean put out his arm and blocked me from going any closer.
"Sounds like it's little Kate who needs to chill," he retorted.
Fists instinctively formed at my sides. "I'm not-," I started to yell back, but Sam cut me off. It was probably for the best.
"Just step away from her, all right?" he pleaded.
"You're right. I'm wasting my time here. This bitch will never talk. Might as well put her out of her misery," Gordon explained as he went over to the table and pulled a machete out of its case. "I just sharpened it, so it's completely humane." What an ass. He turned his back to us and walked back towards Lenore.
I couldn't handle this anymore. I knew I had been on the fence about if supernatural monsters could actually not be evil, but after seeing this poor girl, the one who didn't harm my brother, sitting there tied to the chair and being tortured by Gordon, I was officially on Team Sam. I slipped by Dean. "I'm letting her go," I announced as I tried to make my way past Gordon.
Without warning, Gordon turned around and pointed his knife at my chest. "You're not doing a damn thing," he threatened.
Seeing one of his siblings in danger, Dean immediately went into overprotective brother mode. "Hey, hey, Gordon, let's talk about this," he tried to reason.
"What's there to talk about? It's like I said, Dean. No shades of gray," Gordon explained. Apparently they had some inside joke or whatever, but the freakingly sharp knife being pointed at me was kind of distracting.
"I hear ya. I know how you feel. That vampire that killed your sister deserved to die, but this one…," Dean was trying to appeal to any string of common sense he might have left in him.
Gordon started to laugh. "Killed my sister? That filthy fang didn't kill my sister. It turned her. It made her one of them. So I hunted her down and killed her myself."
I can't even imagine the face that Dean made when he heard that. I didn't know the whole story, but Gordon pretty much just gave us the Spark Notes version and I was taken back. "You did what?" Dean said, not able to believe it.
"It wasn't my sister anymore. It wasn't human. I didn't blink and neither would you." He pointed the knife to Dean to exaggerate his point. I had to say that I think that was a false statement. Dean wouldn't kill me. Or Sam. I mean. No, just no. Not even plausible.
"So you knew all along then? You knew the vampires weren't killing anyone and that they were feeding off of the cattle," Sam accused.
"And you just didn't care," I said, furious.
"Care about what? A nest of vamps suddenly acting nice? We're supposed to buy that? Trust me. Doesn't change what they are. I can prove it." And with that, he grabbed on to my arm and sliced his knife across it. Talk about unexpected pain. This whole thing just got way more personal than before. I heard both Sam and Dean pull out their guns. Gordon grabbed tightly onto my arm and dragged me over to Lenore and stretched my arm out above her.
"Let her go! Now!" Dean commanded.
"Relax. If I wanted to kill her, she'd already be on the floor." That was comforting. "Just making a little point," he explained. He jerked my arm a little bit until a few drops of blood came out of the cut and fell onto Lenore's face. Suddenly her fangs appeared and as a reflex I tried to get out of his grasp, but his grip tightened.
"Hey!" Dean yelled.
"You think she's so different? Still want to save her? Look at her! They're all the same. Evil and bloodthirsty," Gordon said, thinking he had proven his point.
But to everyone's surprise, Lenore started mumbling "No, no!" and managed to control her vampire reflexes and retracted her fangs.
"You hear her?" Sam threw at Gordon. This was something we had never seen or heard of a vampire doing before. She was fighting her native instinct to react and kill a human. It was then that Dean finally realized that Sam had been right all along and the least he could do was fight his own inner instinct to kill her and instead try to help.
Gordon must have been taken off guard too by Lenore's reaction because he loosened his grip on me and I was able to break free. I walked over to stand by Dean as Sam went over to Lenore's side. "We're done here," he said.
"Get her out of here," Dean said, but it was already clear that's what Sam had in mind too. He picked up Lenore and carried her out the door and I followed closely behind him. Sam settled her into the back seat of the Impala while I rummaged through Gordon's car in search of the keys he'd stolen. After finally finding them shoved in the glove box, I ran over and gave them to Sam. He took off with Lenore and I chose to stay behind. I had unfinished business here. And it started with Gordon's car.
I grabbed one of his knives and started with the tires. Ah, that felt good. Next up I popped the hood and saw there was so many options. Black wire? Eh, doesn't look important. That big tube thing that connects to the big gray thing? Clearly it was just aching to be cut apart. I was going to town on this, but then I heard a sudden crash from inside the farmhouse. I grunted as I slammed the hood down again. They just knew had to ruin a good time.
I walked in just in time to see Dean dragging an unconscious Gordon across the room. "Oops," he muttered as he slammed Gordon's head into a wall. He threw me his devious grin before tossing Gordon in a chair.
I went over and helped Dean tie him down to the chair with some ropes. "I vote we carve into him just like he was doing to Lenore," I offered up.
"If we do that, then we aren't any better than he is," Dean replied. I didn't like it when he was all 'voice of reason' and that bullshit.
"But it sure would feel good," I said. Dean slightly laughed, thinking the exact same thing. "Oh, and I think now would be the perfect time to tell you…I told you so," I joked as I nodded towards Gordon. It needed to be made known that I was right on this one.
"Shuddup," Dean bit before he threw a small smile my way. Interpretation? Acknowledging my rightness and apologizing at the same time for being a bitch earlier. Dean had a funny way of doing things, but after growing up with the moron, you learn to read between his lines.
A little while later, the roar of the Impala filled the air. Dean and I watched from the window as Sam got out and made his way into the house. Freak face Gordon was finally awake, but he was giving us the silent treatment. Talk about being a drama queen.
"Did I miss anything?" Sam joked as he entered the room, seeing Gordon all tied up.
"Nah, not much. You get Lenore out okay?" I asked.
"Yeah. All of them did," he clarified, making sure to direct the last part right at Gordon.
"Then I guess our work here is done. How you doin', Gordy?" Dean taunted. "Gotta tinkle yet? Well, get comfy. We'll call someone in two or three days, have them come out and untie you," he finished as he jammed Gordon's knife into the table nearby.
"Let's roll out," I announced, throwing one last death glare to the freak before I started walking towards the door.
"Not yet…Well I guess this is goodbye. It's been real," Dean said. I turned around just in time to see him slam his fist into Gordon's face, causing him to tumble backwards in the chair. This officially rated in the top 10 best moments ever. "Okay. I'm good now. We can go," he informed us as he joined me and Sam at the door.
"That your work of art?" Dean laughed, pointing to Gordon's car nearby as we walked down the steps outside the farmhouse.
"Yeah, but I feel like it's not quite a masterpiece yet," I replied. Without hesitation I pulled my gun out and fired twice. The front winshield shattered into a million little pieces and it somehow made everything better.
"Geesh Kate!" Sam half scolded as he held his arm up to 'take cover'. I wasn't that stupid. The glass was too far off to hit us. Well that's at least what I thought and it just so happens that my hypothesis was right. I was on a roll.
"There. Much better," I said proudly. Dean slapped an approving pat on my back.
We walked a few more feet before Dean went in front of Sam to stop him. "Sam? Clock me one," he said. He started rocking back and forth on his feet, full boxer pose.
"What?" Sam couldn't believe it.
"Come on. I won't even hit you back. Let's go," he tried to persuade.
"No," Sam replied, half laughing at how stupid this all seemed. He tried to make his way past Dean, but he blocked his path again.
"Let's go, you get a freebie. Hit me, come on," he said again.
"Well if you are just handing out freebies, I want in on that action," I smirked, making my way beside Dean, fists raised. Dean just gave me his are you kidding me face.
"You look like you just went twelve rounds with a block of cement, Dean. I'll take a raincheck," Sam announced. And it was true. Dean had definitely taken the beating on this hunt.
"Raincheck," I said as I held my hand up. I wasn't going to miss this either.
"Denied," he shot back, shoving me slightly. "I wish we never took this job, you know? It just…just jacked everything up." He walked over to the driver's side and rested his hands on top of the hood of the car.
"What do you mean?" I asked, standing by the back door beside Sam. I hated when we had conversations across the top of the Impala. It was kind of inconvenient because I didn't have gigantic height status. It wasn't like I could just rest my elbows down on top of it and chat like they could.
"Think about all the hunts we've been on…our whole lives," Dean started. Both Sam and I nodded our heads, wanting him to continue. "What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing, you know? I mean the way Dad raised us…," Dean trailed off. Wow…Dean was questioning Dad for the first time…ever. I wasn't sure what to make of this.
"Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could," Sam explained. I was so taken off guard hearing those words come from Sam, that I suddenly whipped my head to face him. Dad always did the best he could was Dean's line, usually when Sam was trying to put him down, but it seemed like Dad's death really did change things up for each of us.
"I know he did, but the man wasn't perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things…and I do hate them. I mean when I killed that vampire at the mill, I didn't even think twice about it. I even enjoyed it," Dean confessed.
"But you didn't kill Lenore," I countered, trying to show him that he had done the right thing.
"No…but every instinct told me to. I was going to kill her. I was going to kill them all."
"Yeah, Dean, but you didn't. And that's what matters," Sam comforted.
"Yeah, well 'cause you're a pain in my ass, even little Katie too," Dean smirked mischievously. That damn Gordon.
I narrowed my eyes and gave him my best bitch look, which only caused him to smirk more. I really needed to work on acquiring a more threatening look.
"Guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass then," Sam added. Had he just confirmed that he was staying with us and not heading back to Stanford?! I couldn't wipe my excitement from my face.
Dean's smile faded and a more serious look formed on his face now. "Thanks..uh, for staying," he said genuinely. "Both of you."
My previous excitement was long gone and I felt my eyes widen as I entered a state of shock. I stared at Dean, searching his face for any other information that he might know. Was he talking about what I thought he was talking about?! How the hell did he know about that? When did he figure it out? There's no way…I hid all the evidence in a place I knew he would never look and my freaking email was password protected and brother-proofed. It was near impossible...
"Don't mention it," I heard Sam mutter. I felt his glare burn into the side of my head. I threw him a quick, fake smile, before I opened the door and threw myself inside the car, but I couldn't help but notice his scrunched up forehead and confused look. I had hoped he'd been temporarily deaf and hadn't heard Dean's comment, but I guess not all of my wishes could come true. Damnit…this was not the time or the place for this conversation. Preferably it would be the day after never.
I breathed a sigh of relief when Sam and Dean got into the car without saying anything else, but I had a feeling it wasn't over and done with. And I somehow had to get to the bottom of just how much Dean had actually figured out. "I say we get some grub. I'm starving," Dean announced as he turned on the engine and started taking off down the dirt road. Great, if it wasn't one thing it was another. I silently willed that my brothers would believe me and not read too much into it when I told them I wasn't hungry and just wanted to go back to the hotel to sleep.