Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Twilight characters.

Rated M for language.

~ Love Advice from DJ Paul~

'Here's a hundred bucks for the radio sweeper you recorded, now go get me a cappuccino.'

"I'm not your assistant, Paul." Bella snatched the money from his russet hand. "And please wipe that smirk off your face."

The handsome shape-shifter adjusted his headphones then browsed through his playlist for a particular song.

'Allow me to dedicate this track to you…'

.

.

~Oh dear, what can I do? Baby's in black and I'm feeling blue~

"Jesus."

~She thinks of him and so she dresses in black~

"Paul! I'm not in the mood." Bella huffed as the DJ by day, werewolf by night clicked on another track.

~Push me, and then just touch me till I can get my satisfaction~

"Turn it off."

~Satisfaction~

'Hahaaaaaaaa.' Paul chuckled as she tried to grab hold of the mouse.

~Satisfaction~

"You're gonna be in so much trouble, Lahote. Just wait until I tell Rachel!"

The music suddenly stopped at the mention of Paul's fiancé and Bella mentally high-fived herself for playing the Rachel card.

'Blackmailing me, Swan?'

"You got a problem with that?" she cocked an eyebrow as she moved to sit across from him on the swivel chair.

'Nope. No problem at all, except for one tiny little thing known as sexual frustration.'

"Ugh...and you're telling me this why?"

'Why? She's asking me why.' Paul muttered in disbelief, smoothing a hand over his fresh buzz cut.

"Look, if this about Jake, then save your breath. I'm not going to sleep with your precious alpha just because you're all horny or whatever."

'Ouch.' He feigned a hurt expression and Bella couldn't help but roll her eyes at the silly wolf.

'Did you really think I'd ask you to whore yourself out to Jake? You know me better than that, sweetkins.'

"Oh we both know that this is exactly what you had in mind." She maintained eye contact with him, making sure to use Jacob's power gaze.

'I see our alpha has been rubbing off on you.' He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"You know, sometimes I feel like I'm the only grownup in this freakin' radio station!" Bella frowned, folding her arms in front of her chest.

'Correction…the only uptight, slightly constipated grownup in the radio station.' Paul remarked.

"Constipated, seriously?"

'Uh-huh.' He replied while unwrapping his ridiculously long baguette sandwich. 'Now go get me a soda.'

"I'm not getting you anything."

'Then don't go out on your date tonight.' Paul sputtered in between mouthfuls of tuna.

"Ok, first of all, don't talk with your mouth full. It's disgusting." Bella chided him, Rachel Black style.

The guy had no table manners whatsoever; especially during lunch break.

"And second of all, stay out of my business." She warned.

'Too late for that, sweetkins.' He wiped his chin with a napkin. 'You're a wolf girl now.'

"Says who?"

'Oh for fuck's sake…remember Jacob's wolf? The one you treated like a poodle the other night?'

"Yes, what about him?"

'Uh...he kinda wants you to be his pet Barbie.'

Bella giggled at Paul's choice of words, imagining Jacob playing with a Barbie doll.

Now that's pure, unadulterated comedy.

"I'm not a chew-toy, Lahote."

'I did not say that.' He countered. 'All I'm saying is you should reconsider your date with that Damon dude.'

"Oh my God! Did Jake put you up to this?"

Paul shifted uncomfortably in his chair, wanting to finish his sandwich in peace.

'What? Nooo. I'm not his puppet either, Bella.'

"Then stop poking your nose in my love life!"

'Tell that to your alpha.'

"Jesus. I don't belong to Jake, ok?"

'His wolf thinks otherwise.' He said before stuffing the rest of the sandwich into his mouth.

"Here we go again." Bella sighed.

'Look, Swan. I'm not suggesting he imprinted on you, at least not yet.'

"I-i-imprinted?" She stuttered, almost falling from her chair.

'Yep. See, imprinting is like instant coffee; it's quick and easy.'

"That's not what Jake thinks." Bella argued.

'That's because Jacob is alpha and imprinting works differently for him.'

"OH."

'Yeah. Think of it as an elaborate meal that takes ages to prepare. A meal that requires certain ingredients and a lot of effort.'

"Wow, you're really good with food similes, Mr. DJ."

Paul fished out a second sandwich from his desk drawer with a hungry look in his eyes.

'Life is a box of chocolates, Swan, so you'd better grab it by the tail before it bites you in the ass.'

~How to Spot an Overprotective/Jealous Wolf~

Bella carefully zipped up her turquoise dress before sitting in front of her dressing table to put on her make-up.

She felt both nervous and excited about her date with Damon.

He was supposed to pick her up in an hour, so she had enough time to get ready, unless Jacob showed up, which he did.

'Knock, Knock!'

"Come in."

Jacob waltzed into her bedroom like he owned it, then he sat at the edge of her canopy bed in full sight of her oval mirror.

'I uh...brought you a lil' something for your date tonight.'

Bella almost poked her left eye with the mascara brush when he suddenly tossed a can of pepper spray in her lap.

"My dad is a cop, Jake, so I already have a lifetime supply of mace, thank you very much."

'How about this?' He waved a tiny pink taser in the mirror, much to her amusement.

"I don't do tasers."

'Hmmm…how about hot, well-endowed shape-shifters? They're a hundred percent doable.' He smirked.

"Nice try, Black, but I'm not interested."

'Liar.' Jacob snorted, moving to stand directly behind her.

"Shut up and let me finish putting on my make-up." Bella shot him a glare while uncapping her lip-gloss.

He was really starting to get on her nerves.

'You don't need it.' He traced the curve of her neck with his index finger, making her shudder. 'I personally prefer you sans dress and make-up.'

"Jacob!"

The blushing brunette dug her fingernails into his hand, effectively scratching his russet skin.

'Oooh, the kitten has claws. I like it.' He grinned, examining the angry red marks that were already healing.

"Alright. That's it. Get out!"

'Jeez, Bells. What's with the hostility?'

Bella pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration and decided to ignore him for a few minutes.

In the meantime, she concentrated on applying the finishing touches to her make-up and spraying her favorite perfume on her wrists.

She almost forgot that Dennis the Menace was there, sniffing her sheets like a crack addict.

.

.

.

'So, when is whats-his-face picking you up?'

"His name is Damon, and he'll be here at eight. Sharp."

'Bells…if he tries anything, and I mean anything, call me, ok?'

"Yes, daddy." Bella rolled her eyes while strapping on her golden sandals.

'Mmm...Kinky.'

"Ugh…you're incorrigible."

'Pleaaase don't flaunt your fancy vocab in my face, Swan.'

"Would you rather I flaunt something else? Huh?" She rose to her feet, holding the can of pepper spray to his mischievous eyes.

'Actually.' Jacob leaned forward and snatched the can from her hand. 'Yes, I do…' He chucked it over his shoulder. 'But not here.'

Bella swallowed thickly as he stepped closer to her shorter frame.

'I need you to flaunt your sexy little body in my bed...on my sheets. So when you're out tonight, eating fancy pasta with your fancy-ass date, I want you to think about this…' He gestured towards himself, and she couldn't help but stare at his crotch.

Bad…Bad Bella!

'This is what you'll be missing out on, babe...'

"Got to hell, Black." She feigned disinterest, feeling hot and flustered on the inside.

'With pleasure, Bells…with pleasure.' He enunciated each word using his bedroom voice.

Her cool exterior was beginning to crumble like a cookie so she turned around and waited for him to leave.

'Enjoy your date.'

.

.

"I will."

Damon showed up on time and drove her to Snowflake, one of the best restaurants in town.

It had a winter theme all year long with crystal snowflakes dangling from the mirror ceilings and ice blue walls that resembled winter glaciers.

The ambiance was perfect and so was Damon Clark.

He was approximately six feet tall with nice, toned muscles that were slightly visible under his long sleeved shirt. His green eyes twinkled beneath the sparkly chandeliers as he sat across from Bella, looking like the younger version of True Blood's Alexander Skarsgård.

He was such a pretty boy who also happened to be the youngest pilot at the commercial airline he worked for.

He flirted with Bella all night, complimenting her on her lovely dress, asking her questions about her life, including her summer internship at Radio One.

He was quite the charmer whose pocket was full of adventures and tales from his many travels.

Bella genuinely enjoyed his company but there was absolutely zero chemistry between the two of them.

She was beyond horrified when she caught herself comparing him to Jacob over dessert.

Damon's eyes are nice, but they don't burn or dilate to black like Jake's eyes. Even his voice is normal, free from that sexy, shiver-inducing huskiness that is Jacob's voice.

Two hours and a million comparisons later…

"Umm...thanks for everything."

'You're most welcome.' Damon smiled his megawatt smile as he pulled up in Bella's driveway.

His green eyes darted to her lips, clearly wanting to kiss her.

Uh-oh

'I had a wonderful time with you, Isabella.'

"Me too."

He leaned across the center console, cupping her face in his large hand. 'I'd like to see you again.'

Bella didn't get the chance to reply since Damon's Jaguar started rocking sideways and a russet wolf suddenly landed on the hood, freaking the hell out of her date.

'Holy shit!'

The wolf's eyes glowed in the dark as he hopped off the dented hood and trotted to the passenger door.

"It's okay! That's my ummm…my pet wolf!" She exclaimed, trying not to panic.

'Pet? You call that a pet?' The blonde pilot gave her a look that screamed crazy!

"Y-yes. I'm so sorry…just…uh…"

'He damaged my baby!'

Bella glared at Jacob and he rolled his big black eyes in response as if to say: what a pussy.

"Cocky bastard." She muttered as she exited the car.

'Excuse me?' Damon frowned, thinking she was insulting him and not the jumbo wolf who was currently tugging on the hem of her dress.

"I meant him! Not you…"

The handsome pilot shook his head in disbelief and took off without saying goodnight.

Jacob chuckled like a hyena, and so did his pack brothers who watched the whole thing unfold through his mind.

"Get away from me, you stupid, arrogant, MUTT!" Bella screeched.

She was so mad at him for ruining her night.

"You're so fixing his car!" She wagged a finger at the amused wolf.

.

.

.

"Free of charge!"