Unfinished Business, Unresolved Feelings chapter 20
Amanda was standing at her kitchen counter trying but desperately failing in her attempt to concentrate on the dinner she was preparing for her boys. She was still mentally berating herself for being so wrapped up in thinking about Lee and his problems that she wasn't paying attention to her children even when she was with them. Billy had given her permission to leave work early in order to attend the opening game of Phillip's soccer team's season.
Amanda had been sitting in the bleachers worrying about Lee and wondering about where he might be. She failed to see when a group of the boys had accidentally gotten tangled up and fallen to the ground with Phillip at the bottom of the pile. Amanda only found about the pile up when another of the mothers had come over to praise her for not rushing to the field the way some of the other mothers had. Phillip had been happy that Amanda hadn't "embarrassed" him by rushing over in front of his friends but Amanda couldn't forgive herself for being oblivious to what had happened in her presence. Amanda's thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the phone.
"Hello", she said distractedly upon lifting the phone's receiver.
"Hi, it's me, Lee." I've got to keep this call casual. I don't want Amanda to know that I stared at this phone for an hour before I finally called her.
"Oh, Lee, are you alright? Where are you?"
"I'm okay. I'm with my uncle."
"You're with the Colonel", Amanda asked incredulously.
"Yes. He's the only uncle I have", Lee replied not understanding why Amanda was surprised that he'd visit his uncle under the circumstances.
"Where are you", Amanda asked while being irked by his flip response to her prior question.
"Ah, I can't tell you where I am. I wish I could but-"
"What do you mean you can't tell me where you are? I understand that you want your space; I'm not planning to come after you. After what we've been through the last few days I think the least that you could do is tell me where you are", Amanda replied with a combination of hurt and anger creeping into her voice.
"Whoa, Amanda, you're right. I wish I could tell you where I am but I can't. My uncle is working on a highly classified project. I had a hell of a hard time finding out where he is."
"Would that have anything to do with why you tore your apartment apart before you took off?"
"You saw the mess. I hope you didn't clean it up", Lee said, sounding embarrassed.
"Clean up that mess. Do you really think that I don't have anything else to do with my time but clean up your messes?"
"Amanda, please calm down. I don't expect you to clean up my messes. I've taken advantage of your good natured attitude for far too long. This mess, all of it, is my fault and I'll clean it up when I come home", Lee answered hoping that Amanda could hear the sincerity in his voice.
"You're coming home", Amanda responded in a calmer voice.
"Of course I'm coming home. My whole life is in DC. You, my friends and my career are all there", Lee said emphatically.
"Was that list in your order of personal priorities", Amanda asked trying to keep her voice sounding as light as possible.
"Yes, Amanda, there is no one and nothing that is more important to me than you. I love you, I don't say that lightly, I've never said that to any other woman."
"I needed to hear that; I love you too. We have a lot to talk about-"
"We do have a lot to talk about; but not over the phone. I'm still pretty new to this serious relationship stuff but I do know that this is a talk that we need to have in person. I have so much to talk to you about."
"I'll be more than willing to listen. I have a lot of things to talk to you about too. I've got to hang up now because I'm making the boys dinner. Take care of yourself, Lee. Bye."
"Bye", Lee said to a dial tone at the other end of the line. Why do I feel reassured and scared all at the same time?