AN: Sorry about the shortness of this chapter. Real life has been catching up to me lately and this is the best I could do. I still hope to continue updating at least once a week, but I'm going to have to drastically cut back on the length of these chapters. Sorry again. :(

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Chapter 13:

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The car was filled with tension and silence while we drove home. The bleeding between the girls legs had stopped in the shower and now she was sitting there, slightly in pain, staring out the window at the city in shadows, the lampposts, the cracked and stained sidewalks. I turned a corner and already I was beginning to regret what I said. I had let my emotions get the better of me but I knew now that everything was my fault.

The girl winced and hissed in a breath as we drove over a bump and I glanced at her in concern.

"Are you alright?" I asked her gently.

She shot me a glare. "What do you think?"

I didn't answer. In addition to the physical pain, she was obviously angry and hurt as well. And she had every right to be. I had forced her into a situation she didn't want to be in and then I had slapped her and berated her for doing exactly what I wanted.

I just couldn't believe how she had responded to Heidi's abuse of her. Handcuffed, choked, degraded at knifepoint. She loved every bit of it. Her masochistic side was perhaps what I adored most about her but I had always assumed it was my abuse that she loved. Not just any abuse. It made her seem dirty and whorish.

The girl had resumed staring out the window but it wasn't long before she snorted and turned back to me.

"What the fuck was your problem back there?" she demanded. "This whole thing was your idea, you know."

"I know," I said softly.

"You know? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

I didn't answer. How could I explain that I had lost respect for her? Especially when it was my own fault for placing her in that situation to begin with? She stared at me, waiting for an answer, and then she repeated herself.

"Victoria," she said. "Why'd you hit me?"

I shook my head and gave her a half-hearted smile of reassurance. "I'm sorry. It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does," she insisted. "You're obviously pissed off about something."

"I'm not angry."

"Then what are you? Disappointed? Why? Because I fucked her? Isn't that exactly what you wanted me to do?"

"It's alright," I said again, shaking my head softly. "Everything's fine."

She went silent, still staring at me in the dim dashboard lights. Then she turned away and folded her arms.

She didn't speak again until we got home. I had helped her out of the car and she winced with each step up the stairs until I told her to put her hands around my neck. She glared at me, wordlessly, and then she did it. I lifted her into my arms gently, causing her to cringe from the pain, and then I carried her the rest of the way to the bedroom.

In the bedroom I laid her down on the mattress and took off her shoes. She still didn't speak. I took off her jeans as well—inspecting them for any bloodstain and relieved there was none—and then I removed her panties and her top and lastly her bra. I threw everything into the hamper and then I stripped away my own clothes and threw them into the hamper as well. She was trying to struggle under the covers by herself but it hurt when she moved her legs. I went over to help, tucking her bare legs under the covers, and then I turned off the lamp and climbed in beside her.

Still she didn't speak. I gathered her in my arms under the covers and held her close, my heart swelling at all that warmth and softness pressed against me. I stroked her back gently, up and down, and after a while she finally whispered into the dark.

"What did I do wrong, Victoria?" she asked quietly.

But I shook my head in the dark and held her and placed a kiss in her hair.

"Nothing," I whispered. "You're perfect."

And she was. She really was.

It was me who fucked up.

For the rest of the night I held her while she slept and stared up into the darkness, thinking. Musing. So many things had gone wrong last night. Bella. Heidi. Both of them had betrayed me in different ways. Heidi by plotting to kill Bella the whole time and Bella by submitting her body to horrible things that were supposed to be enjoyable only when it was me who did them to her. Not Heidi. And as much as Heidi's betrayal of our friendship hurt, it was Bella's who hurt more. I had honestly thought she had a special connection to me but after last night it was clear that the only connection we shared was the connection that connected me to her. I was bound to her more strongly than I had ever been bound to another person, but her? She was only bound to the things I did to her. It was basically only coincidence that it had been me who kidnapped her. It could've been Heidi or any other vampire. Perhaps it even could've been James.

I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel about all this. It hurt, but at the same time, did it really matter? After all, it wasn't anybody else who kidnapped her. It was me. And now here we were. Together. In bed. With all her lovely warmth glowing against my skin. She was mine. She really was.

But still…

The girl continued to sleep as sunlight began to leak through the curtains and I left her there in the bed while I went to shower. I had already showered last night but it was basically routine and I liked the water. I stood under the stream for a long time, letting the water cascade against my face, my closed eyelids. Oh, Ms Swan. That whorish heart of yours is exactly the thing I love and loathe most about you. I sighed and rinsed my hair and then I got out and dried off with a towel.

While I was putting on a bathrobe there was a knock on the door downstairs and I decided to answer before whoever it was woke the girl up. I hurried down, tying the robe closed around my nakedness, and opened the door. It was the landlady from next door, Ms Clearwater. She looked at my robe and my wet red hair, a slight smirk of attraction on her lips, and raised her eyebrows at me.

"Sorry, is this a bad time?" she asked.

I smiled and held the door open. "Not at all, come in."

She shook her head and held up an envelope she was carrying in her hand. "It's okay, I was just bringing this over," she said. "I must've forgot to bring it when I came over yesterday."

"Thank you," I said, taking it from her and looking it over. It was more junk mail. Advertisements. Oh, Bella, why are you such a slut?

The young woman nodded and looked me over again and my relationship troubles must've shown in my face because she smiled and chuckled once.

"Everything alright?" she asked.

I chuckled as well, just politely. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Something happen with you and Bella?"

I sighed and tapped the envelope against my hand. Deep down I knew I was probably making a big deal out of nothing but even deeper down there was a gnawing of anxiety that indicated something was just not right.

"I'm not sure," I said.

The young landlady grinned and leaned a hip against the rail of the small set of steps that led up to the door.

"So what'd she do?" she asked in a gossipy tone.

I looked at her and allowed myself a smile. She was dark haired, blacker than Bella, and her body was trim and athletic and clad in jeans and a leather jacket. Perhaps Bella had been right; perhaps this Leah girl would've been a better choice for a threeway than Heidi.

But she did seem curious about my problems so I smiled and made an airy gesture with one hand.

"We had a…miscommunication," I said. "In bed."

She grinned wider. "What kind of miscommunication?"

"Oh, you know these things happen. Couples get crazy ideas about experimenting with threeways but you never know what could be revealed about your partner in that kind of situation, do you?"

She raised her eyebrows as if she were impressed. "Threeway? Nice."

I sighed and nodded and gave a shrug. "It was our first time doing it and Bella behaved in a way that seemed to call her feelings for me into question. I was very disappointed in her, but perhaps I only have myself to blame. I was the one who arranged the rendezvous, after all."

"Where is she now?"

"Sleeping," I said. Then I smirked and added: "She's a little worn out."

She chuckled at that and I chuckled as well, glad we had bumped into each other this morning. My mood already felt a touch lightened just from talking about it.

"Well, I'm sure you'll work it out," she said.

I nodded and her words actually gave me heart. "You're probably right. I love her too much to let something like this come between us."

"Love conquers all, right?"

"Hopefully."

She chuckled and again and started backing down the steps to the sidewalk. "Well, I gotta go. Nice seeing you."

"You too, Ms Clearwater."

She nodded and turned to leave but then she turned back.

"And hey," she said.

I had half closed the door and now I opened it again. She smirked at me, with a hint of red in her cheeks, and tossed her chin.

"If you two are ever in another mood for a threeway, just give me a call," she said. "I'm not into chicks romantically, so there'd be no complications."

I smiled and looked her over. She was very attractive, with sharp dark eyes and large breasts under her jacket, and she had the look of a woman who would be good in bed. But her offer only gave me a surge of loyalty to Bella and I just chuckled non-committally.

"I'll keep it in mind," I said.

She nodded, grinning, and went back to her own house.

After I went back inside I decided to fix the girl a large breakfast of bacon and eggs. She hadn't lost a dangerous amount of blood last night but she could use the protein and iron. Perhaps a steak dinner tonight. We could go out, maybe—that is, if her body wasn't too battered. I really did need to be more careful with her. Last night was entirely too dangerous. No matter how much she liked it, it simply wasn't worth the risk. From now on her appetite for abuse would have to wait until she was changed into a vampire.

I scrambled the eggs in the frying pan and shook my head, still astounded at how badly last night had turned out. How could I have been foolish enough to trust Heidi? She had made it very clear that she had no respect for my mate or for my feelings for her. And yet I still wanted to include her in our lives. Heidi had changed. The Heidi I had known would never seek to destroy anything I cared about. But then the Heidi I knew was never secretly in love with me either.

I sighed while the bacon and eggs fried and thought about Heidi's feelings. In a sick way perhaps it was Heidi who had the real connection to me. After hundreds and thousands of different lovers it was me she always returned to. Were those feelings stronger than Bella's? Was I wrong to rebuke them so absolutely? Did I not at least owe my old friend the honor of considering them? After all, what if she was right? What if Ms Swan was not my mate at all? What if she really was just some slut I happened to pick up?

But even as these thoughts occurred to me I knew nothing would change how I felt.

Ms Swan may be a slut, but she was my slut.

About a minute later I heard the toilet flush upstairs followed by the sound of the shower. The bacon was almost done and I was lifting out strips of it from the pan when the girl finally made her way downstairs. She had a hand on the banister and she was walking very stiffly but she was obviously in better shape than last night. She was wearing a bathrobe like I was and her hair was still damp. I put the plate of bacon and eggs on the counter and came around to offer her an arm. She took it and gave me a crooked grin.

"I feel like I've been stabbed in my vagina," she said.

Then she straightened up and put her arms around my neck and smiled into my eyes.

"Feels good," she whispered, and then she lifted her lips onto mine.

I was slightly surprised and maybe a little relieved. I wasn't sure what kind of mood she was going to be in this morning but she seemed absolutely fine. Not physically, of course. She would likely be hobbling around with a broken vagina between her legs for at least a couple days. But emotionally…

She moaned into the kiss and pulled back and smiled at me again.

…emotionally she seemed just fine.

I returned her smile but not without a little anxiety. "Are you hungry?"

"Mmm, starved," she said, glancing at the breakfast on the counter. "It smells delicious."

I went to take her elbow again but instead she pulled me into another kiss, moaning into it and slipping her tongue into my mouth. She tasted like toothpaste and the wetness of her tongue seemed to smooth out my anxiety and cause it to flare again all at the same time. I moaned as well and grabbed a handful of her ass outside the bathrobe and squeezed it, causing her to hiss in a breath and break the kiss with a giggle. She still had her arms around my neck and she gave me a cheeky smirk.

"My ass stings too," she said.

I smiled and let go of it and used the hand to cup her face instead. "We're going to have to be very careful for a while. No sex at all for at least a week."

She smirked at that as if it was a challenge. "You sure? My mouth isn't torn."

She pulled aside my bathrobe to expose one of my breasts and she went to use her mouth on it. My nipples had stiffened from the kiss and I was very tempted to let her do whatever she wanted but something didn't feel quite right.

I covered the breast again and shook my head gently.

"You'd better eat," I told her.

Her smile dimmed a great deal at that but she said nothing. She just nodded and allowed me to steer her by the elbow to a stool at the kitchen counter. The breakfast was still steaming in the quiet morning sunlight from the window over the sink and she eased herself on to the stool very gingerly.

"Fuck," she said, wincing. "It feels like I'm sitting on a spike."

"Are you alright?" I asked her caringly.

She tugged her elbow away from me and gave me a bit of a glare. "Yeah, are you? You were acting really weird last night since we got home. Now you're still acting kind of weird."

I smiled and shook my head. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded as she picked up the knife and fork and began to eat. I remembered that she would probably need something to drink as well so I went to the fridge and poured her a glass of orange juice. She liked orange juice.

She was watching me the whole time, chewing a piece of bacon, and now she frowned.

"Victoria," she said. "What's wrong?"

But again I shook my head. "Nothing," I said. "I'm more worried about you."

She screwed up her face and kept eating. "Me? Why?"

I had to chuckle at her complete obliviousness. She truly was an entirely different girl from that frightened creature I had first stolen out of her bedroom.

"Well," I said, "in addition to the physical damage, you were also very nearly murdered last night."

"Oh," she said, chuckling through a mouthful of eggs. "I forgot about that."

"You forgot?"

"Yeah," she said, chuckling some more and shoving another forkful of scrambled eggs into her mouth. "All I remembered was how you ripped me up with that strapon."

I smiled and shook my head but in my heart there was a small glow of hope. It was nice that her thoughts dwelled on me to the exclusion of all else. Maybe her connection to me was stronger than I thought.

"But thanks for saving my life," she went on, still eating. "Do you think she really would've done it?"

I nodded pensively. "Yes. I think she would've."

"She loves you, doesn't she?"

"She thinks she does."

The girl snorted and picked up a strip of bacon with her fingers. "Yeah, well," she said, biting into it. "She doesn't love you as much as I do."

I smiled at that but I had to wonder. My own feelings were set in stone: I loved Ms Swan. But between the two of them it was rather difficult to say which loved me more.

The girl nibbled at the bacon and watched me thoughtfully. "So does this mean you're not friends anymore?"

"For now, at least."

"Well, I won't lie. I'm glad she's gone. I never trusted her."

I sighed and used a dishtowel to wipe the countertop briefly. "I suppose I shouldn't have either. You were right. Last night was a bad idea. A very bad idea."

I stopped wiping and looked at the towel. Then I sighed again and tossed it down onto the counter.

The girl observed my demeanor, still nibbling on that strip of bacon. "But at least we had some fun, right? I mean, didn't you love fucking me like that?"

I gave her a smile. "You know I did."

She nodded eagerly, almost as if she was relieved. "Good," she said. "Because it would be pretty pointless if you didn't like it. I mean, I liked it too, but that's only because you do. I like being your bitch."

She giggled coyly, the strip of bacon between her teeth. I smiled and instantly found myself over-analysing her words. Did she really mean all that? Or did she realize I was insecure and she was only telling me what I wanted to hear?

She bit a piece off the bacon and set it back onto the plate before wiping her hands on the dishtowel. "I suppose after I become a vampire, my pussy will be indestructible, huh?"

"Virtually, yes. Although it'll still be possible to tear it apart with my teeth."

She giggled at that and took a sip of orange juice. "Sounds good to me. I honestly can't wait till you change me. It'll be so awesome to stop eating and going to the bathroom all the time. I might miss sleep, though."

"I'll miss watching you sleep too."

She smiled at that and took up the strip of bacon in her hand again before finishing it off in two bites. "So when are you going to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Turn me into a vampire?"

I sighed and wondered if maybe we should have this conversation when my feelings were less uncertain. "I'm not sure," I said. "I suppose we'll have to talk about it."

"Talk about what?"

"Well, your age for starters. Perhaps you'd like to be a little bit older before your physical form is frozen in perpetuity."

"That might be a good idea, but I'd hate waiting. How old were you when you were turned?"

"I never knew. Somewhere in my twenties, I suppose."

"Do you think I should wait that long?"

"It might be wise. I'm sure you'd hate to be asked for photo ID every time you order a drink for the next thousand years, hm?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding thoughtfully. She was finished her breakfast now and she pushed the empty plate away before drinking the rest of her orange juice. "Mmm," she said, setting down the empty glass. "Thanks for breakfast."

I smiled and took the plate. "You're very welcome."

She watched me take the plate to the sink and I heard her speak behind me.

"So what are we going to do today?" she asked.

I turned back to her and watched her struggle off the stool, wincing at the pain in her legs. I smiled and chuckled briefly.

"I'm not sure," I said. "Perhaps we could go cycling?"

She stopped mid-wince and gave me a dry look.

Then she smiled and reached over the counter to take my hand.

"I've got a better idea," she said. "Come with me."

I smiled and came around the counter.

This time she didn't need my elbow for support. She ascended the stairs slowly, towing me by the hand, and then into the bedroom. She opened the curtains to let more light into the room, the sunlight bright even through the screen of cloudcover over the sky, and then she came back to where I stood by the bed. Wordlessly she untied the sash around my bathrobe and opened it and took it off. Her eyes raked over my body and breasts, turning it on, and then she untied her own sash and took off her own robe, revealing her soft white nakedness.

Together we climbed into the bed and very gingerly she settled between my open legs, pressing her chest into mine and gazing into my face. She caressed my face in the bright morning light, both of us completely free from makeup, and placed a kiss on my lips, once, twice, and then a third one that she moaned into and deepened with her tongue. My eyes fell closed and I wrapped my arms around her back. Deep in my stomach there was still the tiniest smoulder of wrongness but I did my best to ignore it. Whatever happened last night was meaningless. This was what was important. Just me and Ms Swan.

After a while she broke the kiss and smiled at me.

"Just because you can do me, doesn't mean I can't do you," she whispered.

Then she shuffled downward and settled facefirst between my thighs and began to lick my entrance.

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