Evangeline sunk down into the warm water, breathing out slowly and letting the rain and the mud and the dust wash off of her weary body with absolute fatigue. She felt as though she was shedding a second skin, removing some grimy part of herself she had never wanted to carry with her in the first place. Away, shame, in the caked mud on her shoulder. Away, cowardice, in the dried leaves in her hair. Away, fear, in the dirt obscuring her face. With every inch of clean, new skin she felt as though she were more whole, more of a hobbit than she had been before. Something had changed within her when she came out of the water, when she saved Fildur… She had risen to a new life, not from flame but from the rushing, pounding river, equally as fierce and even more enduring.
She felt an overwhelming sense of relief as she stepped out of the murky bathwater, drying herself off and brushing out her hair. Her skin was pink from scrubbing, but she looked like herself again. Free of all but the memory of the day before, she was able to move forward with her life braced by a new sense of courage and fortitude. She was not some frightened hobbit, worried for the future and what it would bring, fearful of the greater plans the world had in store for her. She was ready to embrace that strange destiny wherever it took her, as long as it was by Thorin's side and in defense of Durin's Folk. Her people. Because they were, now, and despite any obstruction she was ready to prove it to them.
The healer took her time in dressing herself, pulling on one of her simpler gowns and being wary of the cut across her hand as she did so. Thorin had offered his bride the services of a few female dwarves who were prepared to assist the hobbit in her daily needs, but tonight she had refused them. She wanted to be on her own for a moment, to revel in her own strength and sense it in every muscle. Even if it took twice as long to wash and dress, it was a good feeling to know that she could do it herself, even at her most faint.
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There was a small fireplace in her room with two arm chairs. Evie was sitting in one of them, her head resting against the high back of the chair and her eyes closed. The fire flickered merrily in the hearth, warming her heart as well as her body as she tried to forget the sensation of being so damp that it penetrated her very soul. It would take more than a bath to warm her fully again, but it was a start. Further kindling came with a knock on her door, gentle but with intent.
She received Thorin, Dwalin, and Balin into her room, as much as she felt unprepared to entertain what now seemed like a small party. Dwalin and Balin occupied themselves in the corner of the room (refusing the chairs) after giving her their well wishes and expressing their pleasure at her survival of the perilous storm. She thanked them as kindly as she could, but the hobbit could focus on little else once she had resumed her previous perch except the spark lighting up Thorin's eyes as he sat down next to her by the fire. He laid out some medical supplies on the small table between the chairs and Evie immediately went to work in selecting a salve and preparing a bandage.
She nearly started when she felt Thorin move to her side, kneeling before her chair.
"Please allow me."
He asked her permission, making her muscles tense with surprise. His large hand reached out tentatively to the assorted medicines laid out on the table and Evie had to clear her throat before any sound could come out and she could direct him to a container of a milky white paste which proved the proper salve. He rubbed it gently on her cut, breathing in sharply when she shivered in pain. It was a rather large cut, and the healer had struggled with cleaning it well enough in the bath to feel secure that bandaging it would not trap an infection. She hoped it would heal in time for the wedding, but that was not up to her… It would heal as it would. As all wounds would – with time.
She swallowed as he began to wrap the soft linen cloth over the wound, circling the material around her hand. Everywhere his fingers touched her she felt fluttering pinpricks of desire, of desperate need, pushing her closer and closer to some colossal edge. The firelight on his dark hair, the tenderness in his eyes as he carefully touched her and cared for her… It was all beyond imagining. She wanted to tell him that she could do it herself, she wanted to protest his kindness, and yet she could not bear to do such a thing.
"This is perhaps the first time a hobbit has been served by a king…"
She mused, her eyes bright with affection. Thorin smiled, that secret smile which curved at the corner of his lips but always fought with some hidden discretion.
"You will soon be my queen. There is nothing I would not do for you."
He explained, his voice like iron melting at the forge, deep and sinuous. It made her blood boil. She indistinctly heard Balin and Dwalin talking quietly in the corner of the room, but their voices were swept together in a forgetful haze – she could not hear them over her own desire, which pulsed in her ears with every heartbeat. Thorin kissed the knuckles of her hand, right below the bandage he had just finished setting, and Evie's breath caught in her throat. The dwarf noticed, and she watched his adam's apple twitch at the thought of her provocation. Still kneeling, he took both her hands in his, careful of her injury, and looked her in the eyes.
"Fildur told me what you did; how you saved his life."
Evie opened her lips to protest, but the design was lost before it had even justly begun. It was true, as strange as it was to admit. Yet it was also her fault they had been there in the first place. If she had not been so stubborn, he never would have needed saving… But how could she explain?
"It was nothing so great. It was against his judgment that we continued on; we could now be mourning his death and that would have been equally my responsibility."
"And yet we are not. We are celebrating his life, and yours. Whatever decisions were made, you both made them. Yet you were the one who saved his life, and it was indeed a very great act. My sister and I owe you a debt."
He admitted, and Evie dared to smile, shaking her head. Her still damp curls tossed around her face, and she watched as Thorin's eyes tracked them momentarily.
"I owe you my life; any others I save are only due to you and to my mother."
That he could not argue with, and so they arrived at a stalemate.
"You have saved many. And, if my premonition is correct, you will save many more before your time is over, Evangeline Took. And though my life itself has not yet been in so great a peril, you have saved me as well."
He did not need to explain, she knew exactly what he meant. It was the strangest sensation, to hear it said. To know it was true for him as well – that his life had somehow been empty before she had entered it. The story of Evangeline Took was a good one, but it had only become grand when Thorin Oakenshield had begun to be written into its pages, filling it with a heady sort of happiness she had never expected for herself. Yet here he was, seeking out the empty spaces inside her and making her life feel fuller than it ever had before. He had saved her, indeed, and in more ways than one.
"You make me want to sing again," he confessed, and Evie's eyes met his sharp blue ones in amazement. She had never heard him sing; try as she might all those long nights by the fire when Dwalin and Telchar would lend her their songs or when her own voice would warm the night air. Thorin had always been silent, as if their songs only made him all the more brooding.
"I have not sung in many years... Perhaps since the fall of Erebor. In my youth I recall the great songs of Durin's Folk, but now they are lost upon my ears. I refuse to sing them and would rather wallow in a grief of which I refuse to spare myself. It is senseless, Evie, and you are the only one who has made me realize it. When you are by my side I feel different – I feel free of it. I feel the songs of my people upon my lips without the bitterness they used to hold for me."
Evie swallowed, her eyes sparkling with sentiment. Thorin rarely spoke on his feelings, let alone on such a sincere and intimate topic… She squeezed his hands, biting back the sting of her wound.
"All my life I have made sacrifices for the good of my people and the legacy of my family. Never once have I spared myself hardship if some gain could be wrought from it. I had not thought of my own happiness, of what it could be like to have a family, to marry… You have given me a new life, Evie Took, and a new purpose free from the fires of Erebor. I cannot thank you enough for that, and in return I would do anything it is within my power to do for you. I will give you anything you ask, just ask it of me."
"You, my king, are all that I desire."
Her voice was an octave lower than usual, and Thorin's eyes widened hungrily at the sound.
"I am yours. For all my life."
"And I am yours."
She confirmed, a sweet smile blossoming on her lips. He wanted to kiss it, to feel his mouth upon hers, her fingers in his beard, her warm, soft body against his… Their wedding was only a week away, yet every day felt like an age. Thorin longed for that moment he could call Evangeline his own, in Durin's eyes and those of all his people. It would come, soon enough, and yet until then he would try and savor this foreign feeling, this new and unexpected wanting, until they could finally start their lives together and see the long awaited fulfillment of a promise.
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It was hard to tell who was startled more by the sudden knock on the door: Evie, Thorin, or Dwalin. Both brothers shuffled very quickly over to the door, Dwalin in the lead, which gave Evie pause to think that perhaps they had been listening in on her and Thorin's conversation more closely than they would have her guess, and that the awkward interruption had unsettled them. Thorin stood up, moving towards the door as Dwalin answered it.
If the knock was unexpected, the identity of the knocker was even more so. Belinir was invited into the room, and when Evie stood to greet him he bid her remain seated and walked over to the chair opposite her by the fire. Thorin moved to stand next to the healer's chair, as if in defense of her before the other dwarf had even begun to speak.
"Good evening, Master Belinir. I am surprised and honored by your visit."
Evangeline explained rather honestly, folding her hands on her lap and consciously trying not to glance over at Thorin, despite how much she wanted to see what his expression was like. She imagined it was as hard lined and defensive as ever, but the look on his adviser's face was rather more encouraging, although she could not begin to guess at why.
"I would have waited until tomorrow to speak with you, my lady, but there is something I wish to tell you and I would not have it wait another day."
She nodded, swallowing. This could mean any number of things, and she could not begin to wonder at them. The compulsion to hold Thorin's hand suddenly struck her, but the healer knew better than to initiate any sort of physical contact in front of Belinir, who might deem it improper. Their wedding was so close; to have anything interrupt its progress… Evie's heart became steel and dropped within her chest the moment she realized why Belinir had come, before he had even begun to explain. Her ultimatum to him before she left for the Shire rang in her ears, and she cursed herself for it. She had been questioning herself then, but now she was so certain of who she was and of what she wanted that she could not bear for him to deny her. If he refused her as his queen she would have to respect his wishes, or else the fight against him would crumble away at Thorin's administration of Ered Luin until he was forced to choose between one or the other – his beloved or his oldest adviser. And she could not ask for such a thing, nor did she want to earn the prejudice of Thrór's chief counselor. What else could she do?
"I was just speaking with Fildur, who came to me with quite the story of your heroics, Miss Took."
He announced, and Evie nervously squeezed the fingers of her bad hand, narrowly avoiding her injury with the anxious movement.
"I am sure he embellished the tale," Evie defended her humility, "It was not so grand a deed – and surely I did not look a hero all covered in mud as you saw me earlier."
It was a joke, but one Belinir dismissed more firmly than Evie was prepared to expect.
"My dear that is the only way one might look a hero."
The hobbit felt Thorin stir beside her, yet she maintained her eye contact with the dwarf sitting across from her, her grey orbs widening just a little.
"We dwarves are mountain folk. Some say we were born of the hard rock of the mountain, as I am sure you have heard legend say. It is not true, of course, but it is suggestive of the spirit of our people. While a king must follow certain rules and present himself in a certain way to uphold tradition and retain his power, there is nothing Durin's Folk appreciate more than a ruler who proves himself. Thorin earned the respect of our people when he fought in the Battle of Azanulbizar in defense of his grandfather's honor. And while you have done much in the past, it was not until today that you have earned my respect."
He paused, and Evie straightened unconsciously in her chair, desperately hoping that the restless, jittery surprise she felt in her heart was not so clearly visible on her face as she thought it must be.
"You risked your life to save another's. While he is the princess' husband and therefore holds position, I believe you would have done this even if he was merely the tailor he had been before he married one of Durin's line. Your courage and your sacrifice are uncommon among your people, and I will admit that I am surprised by you. I have heard stories, but I refuse to believe anything I cannot see with my own eyes. This afternoon I saw many things which changed my mind about you and made me see you differently.
"When you returned, I did not see Evangeline Took of the Shire and, my king, I did not see Thorin Oakenshield. Instead I was instantly overcome with a memory of Thrain and of your mother, Daia. I have never known a female of our kind to have so much strength matched with so much compassion as your mother possessed. She was the greatest gem of our people, and while she was taken from us far too soon, her memory lives on in the accomplishments of our people. It was in that memory, that vision, that I saw the truth of our people and our future… Miss Took you asked me before you left if I thought our king would be better served ruling alone or with you by his side, and now I have no doubt that you would bring a new spirit of fortitude and caring to Ered Luin that will enliven our people. While I cannot ever fully support your marriage because it cannot further Durin's line, I will go as far as to say, Miss Evangeline Took, that I will solemnly pledge myself to you and serve you as my queen."
.
For Fildur to call her queen was a kindness, and perhaps a truth, but for Belinir, great adviser to kings and master of secrets, to say such a thing… It was as if he had just placed the golden circlet upon her head. It was all suddenly very real – with Belinir's opposition gone there was nothing left but to go through with the market day and the wedding and… What came after she was not entirely ready for, but she supposed they would take it day by day. One song at a time.
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Author's Note: I can't believe it's been a year! I hope you all enjoyed Desolation of Smaug (seriously it had the most perfect dragon in the history of dragons)! I can't believe I have nearly 35 chapters written and these two aren't even married yet! ;) But that will be coming very soon, and so will everything after it! I'm thinking that this will end up in sort of three pieces – the first dealing with Evie and Thorin coming together, the second focused on family (Fili, Kili, etc), and the third centered around the Quest for Erebor and Thorin's desire to go back to the Lonely Mountain. I will be letting Tolkien's notes influence me a little more than the films in some accounts (timeline, the meeting with Gandalf [did it bother anyone else that the film made the Quest for Erebor out to be Gandalf's idea? I loved that it really was a chance meeting in the book! ], etc), but I will still be taking a lot from the context of the films. Anyways – I look forward to keeping you updated! I'm getting ready to move and have been working a lot because of the holidays, so I apologize for the slow updates, but hopefully I'll have more time for writing soon! Xoxo!