"How you feeling," Steve asked Anna as they stood slightly hunched over in the plane ten thousand feet above the earth. She was in front of him wearing a vest that was attached to his jumpsuit.
"Ok," she said nervously over her shoulder, but her heart was racing out of control. "I'm really, really scared. Is that normal?"
"Yes," he laughed, "and there is no shame whatsoever in backing out at the last second either," he reminded her for the third time.
"Oh no," she said assuring him, "you got me this far, we're going."
"Ok then, because we're just about over the jump spot." He reached over and slid open the door, feeling Anna stiffen and her legs tremble as the wind hit them as well as the reality of what they were about to do. "Are we still going?" he yelled.
"Three, two, one?" she yelled back, feeling her adrenaline kicking into high gear.
"Alright," he looked over at the pilot as he gave them the thumbs up, letting Steve know they were good to go. "Here we go. Remember just roll out and let me do the work."
She nodded, putting her hands across her chest like they had practiced, hearing the countdown in her ear like they had also practiced knowing they were going on 'one'. She felt him lean forward and the next thing she knew they were falling out of the plane, doing a flip. "Oh my God!" she screamed out, gripping the straps on the vest even tighter, forcing herself to keep her eyes open so as not to miss a second of it.
She was looking at the sky and then seconds later the ocean and then the coastline of the North Shore. They leveled out before she even had a chance to panic over the fall. She was relieved to know that he was true to his word and did all the work; also relieved that he knew exactly what he was doing. The wind was deafening as it whipped her face, understating the need for goggles now, but the sight below her was unbelievable as they hurdled toward the ground.
'I'm skydiving!' The thought screamed out in her head. 'Oh my God! I'm really skydiving!'
She felt a tug on her hands as Steve pried her fingers off the straps and held onto them as he spread their arms out, giving her the full thrill of what it was like to fall at one hundred and twenty miles per hour. She gripped his fingers tightly at first and then relaxed, knowing she was safe.
He felt her body calm, which thrilled him, knowing she was really enjoying it. He pulled their arms back in and she grabbed the straps like they had practiced, knowing he was going to pull the cord. Seconds later she screamed out at the sudden jolt as they went straight up like a rocket as the parachute opened.
The loud, rushing sound of the wind from falling was now silent. She looked up and saw the bright red and blue chute above their head and Steve's hands as he gripped the ropes, pulling on one and then the other, leveling them out.
"Having fun?" he asked, in a calm voice as if they were sitting on the porch and not gliding through the sky five thousand feet in the air.
"This is the most amazing, crazy fun thing I have ever done." She looked out over the horizon toward the ocean and then back inland at the mountains that they soared above. "It's so beautiful!"
"Do you want to drive?"
She looked over her shoulder at him and then up. "I better not. I'll get us in a spin or something."
"No you won't," he assured her. "Take the handles. I'll show you how."
She reached up and put her hands over top of his as he carefully slipped his out and then put them back over top of hers. "If you pull just a little on this one we'll turn," showing her, "and the same on this one. If you pull on both of them it will keep us straight and level. Which is what we want."
"Ok."
He slowly took his hands off as she held them. "You're doing great, just keep it steady."
She looked back out toward the view seeing the ground fast approaching, saddened that it was already almost over. "I want to do this again some time."
Those words were like heaven to him. "See, I told you you wouldn't throw up."
She laughed, looking down at the ground, seeing Jenny and Eric waving up at her as they stood with one of Steve's jumping buddies.
"Let me take over," he said putting his hands back over top of hers as they neared the ground.
The landing was just as he had explained and she almost stumbled but he quickly caught her as the chute landed behind them and pulled them slightly backward, but he held steady as two men ran over and folded it up so they wouldn't be dragged by the wind.
He undid the straps that held them together as Jenny and Eric both cheered from an area a couple hundred feet away. He took off his helmet as she did the same.
"What did you think?" he asked as she slid it off and her long blond locks fell out, cascading over her shoulders. She turned to him and without even giving it a thought as to where they were or who was watching, she put her arms around his neck and kissed him.
He pulled her in, reciprocating it with pleasure.
They broke apart not letting it last longer than normal and smiled at each other, still intimately close.
Eric and Jenny looked at each other with mirrored expressions that showed shock from the kiss.
"Are they boyfriend and girlfriend?" Jenny asked her older brother.
"I don't know," he said, bewildered over this new discovery. He wasn't sure at that moment how he felt about this new change.
Anna looked over at them as they stood there staring at she and Steve. "I wonder what they're thinking?"
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The car ride home was silent. Eric sat in the backseat staring at the back of Steve's head while Jenny sat quietly looking out the window, unaffected by the kiss or the confession that they were in fact seeing each other as 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'; the term that both Steve and Anna found humorous to be used to describe their relationship at their age, but it made sense to them that that's how the kids would describe it.
Eric on the other hand didn't find any of this humorous but did feel threatened by their newly discovered relationship. Steve was his friend not Anna's. He felt a bond forming with him that eased that fear and loneliness he'd felt since losing his father, not knowing or understanding how desperately he needed it until a threat of losing it became an issue. Sharing Steve's attention with Jenny was one thing, but sharing him with Anna was something completely different. There was another shift approaching in his life that he neither wanted nor would give in to. He liked the way things were, another change would only disrupt the peacefulness he had created in an already turbulent world. He'd finally found a place that he could feel almost like himself again, even though school was playing havoc with that he had home to look forward too everyday, and now that sanctuary was being threatened as well. 'They didn't even like each other,' he thought bitterly, 'and now they were boyfriend and girlfriend'. The jealousy and fear of losing what he had built up in his mind grew, turning to anger.
Steve glanced in the rearview mirror at Eric's scowl. They made eye contact for just a second before he turned away, looking out the window.
"Hey Eric," he said.
"What?"
"What do you think of Anna jumping out of that plane?"
He shrugged, "I don't know, it's was ok."
"I thought it was fun!" Jenny blurted out. "Did you have fun, Anna?"
She shifted in her seat, looking back at the two of them. "Yes, I had a blast. I could see you waving at me."
"I can take you when you're older, Eric," Steve said to him. "Around sixteen would be a good age."
He looked back up at his reflection in the mirror. "How do you know you'll even know me then?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
He shrugged again. "I don't know. People move, people get in fights. People die."
"Eric!" Anna scolded him. "Don't say that!"
"Its true! People die all the time!" he yelled. "Maybe it'll be you!" he said to Anna.
"That's mean, Eric!" Jenny said, looking at him angrily.
Steve pulled the truck over and turned in his seat. "Hey! Knock it off!" he scolded him. "I know you're pissed off right but don't talk to Anna that way!"
Eric let out a sarcastic laugh. "I knew it! You're already sticking up for her. She's not my Mom and you're not my Dad so don't tell me what to do!"
"Eric!" Anna said, shocked over the things that were coming out of his mouth. "Nothing is going to change."
"It already has!" he blasted, crossing his arms stubbornly and turning toward the window, ignoring the both of them.
"Eric," Anna began when Steve put a hand on her arm, telling her to let him be. He looked over at Jenny who had begun to cry over the unexpected and angry outburst from her brother. The words coming out of his mouth were horrible. Even the thought of something happening to Anna frightened her beyond words, even Steve now had become a placement in her life, he had taken on the role of father to her even if he didn't know it.
"Jenny," he said with a smile, "its ok honey, don't cry. He didn't mean it." He glanced over at the boy who refused to look at him. It didn't matter, Steve could see the anger but also the shame in his eyes over making his little sister cry, and hopefully for the harsh words to he and Anna.
He turned back around in his seat, wondering then if what he and Anna were doing was right, maybe it was too soon to have told them. She had confessed to him in the beginning that no matter what, the kids came first, he had to respect that, but seeing first hand how Eric was handling it, he couldn't help but think that maybe he had set himself up in a doomed relationship. He felt her hand on his arm as he glanced over at her. As if she could read his mind she mouthed the words to him. "It'll be fine. Don't worry."
She could see all over him the tension of the situation. She felt it herself. It was breaking her heart the things that Eric said, knowing full well Steve took the words just as seriously as she did. The last thing she wanted was hurt to anyone, but she knew if it came down to it, she had to do what was best for Eric, even if it meant slowing things down with Steve. She sat back in her seat as he began to pull back out onto the road, feeling her heart break over that decision as well.
The interior light came on as Eric opened up his door and jumped out. He took off across the road that was deserted at the moment, running into the field across the way. They were several miles outside of Honolulu on Highway 99 that cut across the center of the island. The only thing for miles in either direction at that particular spot was pineapple fields and mountains.
Steve slammed on the breaks, undoing his seatbelt at the same time. "Stay with Jenny," he said to Anna, looking back down the road as a car came speeding by, he held tight until it passed watching Eric across the way as he got a good lead on him.
He took off after him, closing the ground quickly but surprised at how fast he actually was for a ten year old.
"Eric stop!" he yelled out.
"Leave me alone!" he screamed out at him, almost tripping and falling but at the last second he felt his body come off the ground as Steve grabbed the back of his shirt, preventing the fall.
He whipped his body around with his arms swinging, connecting with Steve's chest and then clipping his chin.
The blow didn't faze him but the fact that it was coming from Eric did. He tried to grab him as another blow came swinging by. There was no rhyme or reason to the hitting he was just out of control with anger, growling with every thrust.
"Eric, stop!" Steve said trying to get a hold of him without actually hurting him.
"I hate you!" he yelled, barely missing his face once again.
"Goddamnit!" He'd had enough and grabbed the front of his shirt in a fist and twisted him around pulling him up against his body and then wrapped his other arm around Eric's body, holding him in place. "Knock it off!"
"Let me go! Let me go!"
"No! You can fight all night. I'm not letting go so you might as well just give up!"
He gave one last effort trying to break his arms free but knew it was pointless, he had too good of a hold on him.
Steve held firm, feeling the anger and frustration coming from the kid who was usually docile and civil. It worried him more than it angered him. "Are you done?" he asked him calmly.
He didn't answer but pulled himself away as the tight hold relaxed, standing with his back to him, head hung low.
"What's going on in your head, Eric?"
He crossed his arms stubbornly. "Nothing!"
"It can't all be about me and Anna."
"Why not?" he said between gritted teeth.
"Because we haven't done anything wrong."
"I thought you and me were friends? Now you'll just want to be with her! Go ahead, I don't care!"
"Nothings going to change. "
"Yes it will! Everything changes all the time. I don't want any more changes! I don't want to go to that dumb school either. They don't know anything and say stuff that isn't true! Its stupid there! Stupid!" he said as his voice broke. "I don't want things to change. I want everything to stay the same like it is now." Tears began to drip from his eyes. "I'm scared things will change again."
Steve ran his hands over his face, hearing the fear and pain coming from him. He looked back over to the car and knew it wasn't something he could push off onto Anna, no matter how unsure he was of his place in the situation, he was in this now and it wasn't her that had got him there, he had volunteered it when he climbed up that tree. It was that moment that he took on this role of being not only his friend but also his mentor through this terrible ordeal that they both had in common. He knew it then and he knew it now, plain as day.
Steve moved around in front of him. "I'm not going anywhere Eric. You yelled at me back in the car that I'm not your Dad. No, I'm not. I'd never try and replace your father. But how dare you try and take away this friendship without even asking me."
He looked up at him over the tone of his voice that went from passive to almost mirroring the same anger, but it was the words that surprised him the most.
"You and I were friends long before Anna and I. I know you're mad and that's ok too, but running off doesn't help the problem. Nothing has ever been solved by running away."
He looked over in the direction he was running too and saw just a wide-open area, realizing now how dumb it was. He had no idea where he was going; all he knew was that he felt threatened by yet another change in his life and the thought of losing the only friend he had at the moment angered and scared him.
"Tell me what's going on at school?" Steve asked.
He felt the tears fast approaching again as he tried desperately to hold them back. "I hate it there." He wiped his hand across his eyes and couldn't control the built up despair he felt inside from it. All at once he burst into sobs and did the unexpected that left Steve caught off guard once again.
Eric leaned into him with his head coming just below his ribcage; his arms went around him, hugging him tightly. He clung to him as tears poured from his eyes leaving wet stains already on his shirt.
He stared down at the display clinging to him. He instinctly looked around him for help, not sure what he should do, never having a crying child attached to him in this way before. He was good verbally, but when it came to physical comforting he felt out of place.
His thoughts instantly went to Danny, knowing he was a father and a good one. He pictured him in this situation and what he would do. It took all of about one second for the answer to hit him. He put his hand on Eric's head and instantly felt the hold tighten around his waist. This is what he needs, Steve thought, putting his other hand on his back and pulling him closer, returning the hug.
He had to admit to himself that it felt awkward in the beginning, but the uneasiness quickly dissipated as something inside of him shifted. He never thought of himself as the nurturing kind, but he would have stood there all night if he had too if this innocent gesture brought Eric some kind of relief.
"It's ok, Buddy," he consoled him. "Tell me what's going on."
"Its just that…" he whimpered, gulping in air. "Jenny is a girl. She has Anna." He started to cry again. "I miss my Dad."
Steve held him just a little tighter, feeling his emotions starting to get the better of him. "You know you can talk to me about anything, Eric. I'm not your Dad but I can listen, and I'll help you out anyway I can." He leaned back, looking down at him. "I mean that Eric. I think you're a great kid whose just going through a shitty time right now in his life, but it won't feel like this forever. I promise you that."
Eric looked up at him, "Did you feel like this when you're mom died?"
"Yes," he said honestly. "I was angry, sad and then angry again. Sometimes I would get in the ocean and just swim out as far as I could and scream at the top of my lungs and then swim back. Sometimes it helped but most times I would just swim back and the problem was still there." He bent over looking him directly in the eye. "I don't want you to feel that way. Anna's smart and she loves you very much. You can talk to her too you know."
He looked over in the direction of the car wiping his face with his hands and sniffing. He looked back over at him as fresh tears welled in his eyes. "I didn't mean it when I said she might die."
Steve stood up and put his arm around him again, pulling him up against the side of his body as they started walking back toward the truck. "I know Buddy. So does she."
"I'm sorry I ran off."
"It's ok, just don't do it anymore, like I said, it doesn't help."
He nodded looking up at him, "Do you really like her?"
"Who? Anna?" Steve asked.
He nodded again.
"Yes. She's ok," he grinned down at him, "for a girl." He was pleased to get a smile in return.
Steve opened up the back door of the truck as Eric climbed in. He looked over at Anna sheepishly feeling embarrassed now from his outburst. She smiled letting him know she wasn't mad and turned back around in her seat, relieved that once again Steve was able to talk him down. Jenny on the other hand wasn't so forgiving.
"That was mean what you said to Anna. You should get a time out forever!" She crossed her arms angrily, glaring at him.
"I didn't mean it," he said quietly.
Jenny just huffed. "It was mean."
Steve got in and glanced over at Anna as she reached out and touched his arm, not having to verbally thank him, he got the message loud and clear.
The rest of the ride back from the North Shore was silent. They pulled in just as the sun set. Jenny got out first and stomped across the yard, still angry with her brother. Anna handed Eric the keys to the house.
"Here, I'll be over in a minute."
"Ok." He looked over at Steve before heading home. "The skydiving was pretty cool. I think I'll try it when I'm older."
"I'll be around," he grinned, assuring him of their earlier discussion, "you let me know."
He grinned back at him, running off toward the house as Jenny began to get impatient for the door to be opened.
Anna leaned against the side of the truck as Steve faced her. They looked at each other with the same disheartening expression. She shook her head still in disbelief over Eric's words. "I had no idea he would respond that way." She also didn't realize how upsetting this was until she was face to face with it as he stood before her. "I shouldn't have kissed you like that in front of he and Jenny," she said regrettably.
"I don't think it was necessarily you and me. I think he might be having some issues at school."
"What did he say? What kind of issues?"
"He didn't say, but he said he hated it there."
She sighed heavily; feeling guilty, wondering if it was something she should have seen coming. "I'll call tomorrow and make an appointment with his teacher. I just hate that he's going through all this." She looked up at him, feeling a bit of relief. "But I'm glad he has a friend like you."
"He's a good kid."
She moved up against him. "You're a good man. Probably the best man I've ever known."
He combed his hand through her hair, giving her one of his stellar smiles. "I was inspired from the woman that moved in next door."
The one thing she loved about him, amongst many things, was that he was always true to his words. She never once felt like he was giving her a line. He was honest that way. She'd never had that from a man before. 'Be careful,' she thought, 'you don't have the luxury to fall in love right now.'
"Anna," he said uneasily, "I don't know what you're thinking, but maybe you and I should…" he started and then stopped not wanting to say it.
She laid her forehead on his chest, knowing what he was going to say. "No."
She felt his hands on her face as he lifted it up so he could see her.
"I'm not walking away. I hope you don't either. I just don't think we should force this on him." He wanted to assure her he was still onboard. The last couple of weeks with her had opened up that place inside of him that he thought he had under control, but as nature would have it, she was in control, but they needed to look beyond their own relationship at the moment and focus on the one they had with Eric.
Anna nodded, understanding his reasoning and knew he was right. They needed to figure out what the problem was and then go from there. What had started out as a fun day with all four of them had ended with she and Steve potentially being separated, something neither of them wanted. "He has been kind of quiet over the last week. Hopefully the teacher will be able to fill me in on the details if it's a problem at school." She looked over toward the house, not wanting to leave him just yet, wishing he could come with her, wondering if there would ever be a time that he could stay with her all night, even with the kids home, not sure where her needs started and the kids' ended. "I should go, Jenny's going to need a shower before bed."
"I'll see you tomorrow after the kids go to school," he said, giving her a kiss. "Regardless of what happened tonight, I had a good time today. You did great."
She smiled and her eyes got bright being reminded of the skydiving. "It was the most fun I've had in…" she paused trying to think of a better time, "ever!" She stood up on her toes and kissed him quickly before she began to back up toward home. "Thank you for taking me, Steve. Next time it's my turn to treat you to an adventure."
He smiled, seeing little Jenny in that beautiful expression. "Oh yea, and what would that be?"
"Something so much scarier," she grinned walking backward. "I'm taking Jenny to the mall this weekend for school clothes, she asked if you could go with us." She laughed out loud over the expression on his face, pointing at him. "I jumped out of a plane at ten thousand feet with you."
He laughed with her, "At least with mine I knew I'd come out alive."
She blew him a kiss and turned, running toward the house. "Don't be afraid. I'll take care of you."
As she ran off he couldn't help but wonder if his idea of taking their relationship back into the shadows was good for either of them. The past couple of weeks being with her in this new relationship they had struck up was exciting and more than anything else fulfilling, both sexually and as time went on he felt the emotional attraction to her even more.
Once the kids started taking the bus in the morning and before he would leave for work, she would come over to his house, forgoing a knock and would come straight up to his room as he lay there impatiently waiting. She would slip out of her clothes and sometimes just her robe and crawl in with him. In the beginning the sex was just that, sex, it was all about pleasing her and vice versa as if it were a challenge to not necessarily out do the other, but to make sure they were left wanting more, assuring their place in the relationship. But as time went on the intimacy took over, he didn't want to leave her anymore with the want for more sex but the want for him, and while he was away he wanted to make sure the emotional fill was satisfied too, not wanting to make that same mistake as he had with Becky. He tried to give her all the things that Becky had asked for but he had found so difficult to respond too, but with Anna they flowed out naturally and willingly; it wasn't work, it was enjoyable.
He watched as she got to her front door and turned to him, waving, and then blew him a kiss before going inside. It was sweet and innocent and he could feel the impact of it from where he stood, a smile spreading across his face.
He stood staring at the place she had been standing, picturing her inside now with the kids, wondering what their nightly routine was?
Before he knew it he was imagining himself in there with them. It was a domestic vision that he'd never dreamed would invade his head, but here it was. He pictured himself doing homework with Eric at his desk in his room while Anna gave Jenny a bath. He could see her folding clothes or finishing the dishes as he sat on the side of Jenny's bed reading her a book like his father had done for Mary, or like he'd seen Danny do for Gracie. At the end of the night he saw himself walking down that hallway to Anna's room and seeing her in bed, a vacant spot next to her, knowing it was his.
He glanced over at his house as the fantasy came to an end, leaving him feeling as empty as his house was. For the first time that he could remember, he was dreading going home. Something even more disturbing hit him then, something that he thought he had put to rest, but it wouldn't go away.
'You're thirty four years old, and you have no one.'
It was a staggering thought that was even more crippling than the fear of leaving loved ones behind like what had happened to John. He got a small glimpse inside the life of a family and to his shock he was craving more of it. He understood now why the others married and had kids even at the risk of knowing how dangerous their jobs were. Even Danny had taken the risk.
Out of nowhere a voice in his head spoke up, "They fell in love."
It was as if the skies suddenly opened, and he put two and two together, falling back against his truck over the next revelation that scrambled through his thoughts. He shook his head, trying to ward off the idea of it.
"I don't love her," he whispered adamantly, speaking from the logical side that was always in control. "I don't love her," he repeated. "I can't. It's too soon." But the tender side of him began to get the upper hand, because saying it felt like a huge betrayal to not only him but even more so to Anna.
"Holy shit," he stammered, leaning over and bracing his hands on his knees; taking in slow, deep calculated breaths. "Yes you do. Yes you do."
Anna came in the house looking around for Eric but didn't see him. She went straight upstairs to her room. As she passed Jenny's she glanced inside seeing her sitting on her bed in the same angry, arms crossed position as she was in the car. "You need to take a shower pretty quick."
"I'm mad at Eric," she blurted out. "He wasn't very nice to you and Steve."
She went in and sat down on the bed next to her. "He didn't mean it. Sometimes we say things out of anger but we don't really mean it."
"He should say he's sorry."
She put her arm around her, kissing her forehead. "He will. Don't be mad at him. Steve and I aren't. We know he didn't mean it."
"Are you going to get married?" she asked innocently.
Anna let out a laugh, "No, of course not!" She looked at the disappointment on Jenny's face over that. "I mean…I don't know."
"Why not?"
"Because, we just started dating and I don't think he…" she hesitated, "and I have you two to take care of."
"But he can take care of us too. We have fun. We could all live together and have breakfast together and watch TV."
Anna heard the words and even more so saw them in her eyes. She was looking for that stability that she had with her parents. Not understanding the relationship she and Steve had wasn't that easy to just step into the life she wanted. Even though coming from a child's perspective it was just that easy.
"I don't know about Steve and marriage," Anna smiled, trying to change the subject, "but I think I have him talked into going shopping with us."
"Really?" she said happily. "We can buy him an ice cream for going. He'll like that. He likes ice cream too."
"Who wouldn't pass up a trip to the mall for shopping and ice cream," she said. "That would be crazy!" She hugged her, shaking her little body. "We'll make him carry all the shopping bags because we are going to buy a lot!"
That made her happy, forgetting about the marriage conversation. "Can I get some blue shorts?"
"Blue? Sure. Why blue?"
She shrugged, "I don't have any."
"Spoken like a true woman," Anna smiled, kissing her on the forehead as she got up to leave. "You can get two pairs of blue shorts. But right now let's focus on that shower."
"Ok," she replied kicking her shoes off.
Anna smiled over their conversation as she entered her room. 'Marrying Steve,' she said humorously, chuckling to herself over Jenny's suggestion. She looked over at her bed and pictured the two of them in it at the end of the day, the two of them together as a family. She stood in the middle of the room contemplating the idea for the first time, wondering what it would be like to be married to him. She caught herself smiling over the thought of it, feeling it too. She quickly cut herself off, shaking her head. 'Stop! You're getting ahead of yourself. Besides, there is no way he feels that way about you. It's too soon. You'll scare him off.' But she couldn't deny hoping for it, knowing she was there herself, teetering on the edge, ready to let go and fall into that endless bliss. All she needed was a push from him.
She stopped at her dresser, mindlessly putting the bras and panties back inside that were in disarray, her head elsewhere at the moment. She closed the top drawer and then suddenly thought it was odd that it was even open.
"Jenny," she yelled out to her.
She came down the hallway. "Can I take a shower in your shower tonight?"
"Sure," she smiled at her, pointing at the drawer. "Did you get in here?" The second she asked she realized how silly that was, Jenny's height was only maybe up to the third drawer of the five drawer chest.
"What?" the child asked innocently.
"Nothing," Anna replied opening it back up again and shuffling through the undergarment items that seemed even more out of place. She closed it again, not giving it another thought, knowing Eric had been over at Steve's house before they left earlier in the day so it wouldn't have been him. She contributed it to her forgetfulness and maybe the nerves before the big skydiving jump.
Eric plopped down the couch and turned the TV on. He had about another twenty minutes before he had to start homework and go to bed.
He glanced up toward the stairs and recalled the angry outburst from Jenny as they came in the house. She scolded him repeatedly telling him how bad he was for saying Anna might die. He knew the words scared her more than anything else and was feeling the effect of the guilt from it now. He knew he owed Anna an apology and maybe Jenny too.
He flipped the TV off, deciding to just get it done and over with, otherwise he knew it would bother him all night.
He came up the stairs at a slow pace, trying to think of what he might say. Telling Anna she might die when he was angry was one thing, but as the anger cleared he realized the harshness of those words. The guilt was crawling all over him.
As he neared the top he thought he heard a man's voice, wondering if it was the radio, but as he hit the last step he could see clearly where the voice was coming from.
Anna stepped back away from him, holding her hand out to Jenny, motioning for her to stay put as she stood in the bathroom doorway. The child was just as clearly shaken and scared of the man as she was.
"Alyssa," he said gently, "please don't be afraid. I can see you're surprised to see me here, but you had to know that I've been watching. That I've been here before?"
Anna's body felt numb from the fear that was coursing through her, glancing over at Jenny, trying to speak clear and calm. "Close the door Jenny and lock it."
"What does he want," her voice mirrored the same fear that Anna had.
"Close the door!" Anna said sharply. She faced the man as he moved toward her. "What do you want?" Knowing that trying to convince him that she wasn't Alyssa was going to be impossible.
"It's fate that we met and it's fate that we argued but it was our destiny then I found you again." His eyes sparkled over his explanation. "It was like we were drawn to each other."
She saw Eric then standing on the last step, recalling the man's harsh words about him in the parking lot of Costco, afraid of what he might do to him. She could see the surprise and then the fear in his eyes over the situation. She looked back at the man, "What's your name?"
"Peter," he smiled, taking a step closer to her. "My name is Peter."
It was then that she saw the knife tucked into the waist of his pants. Her heart sank and she glanced back at Eric, "Go get Steve, Eric!" she yelled out.
The man turned seeing him on the steps, "You!" he pointed at him. "Come here!"
Eric felt the fear over take him, taking a step back and almost stumbled, reaching out and grabbing the handrail and then turned and ran down the steps, missing the last one and falling into the wall. He heard the man running down the hallway and went for the front door, swinging it open and running out across the lawn toward Steve's house.
Anna ran for the bathroom door, shaking the locked handle, "Let me in Jenny! Let me in!"
She could hear the child crying and fumbling with the lock but it was too late, he came back in the room with a look of furry in his eyes and the knife in his hand.
"Get away from the door Jenny!" Anna screamed. "Stay inside!" She backed away, running into the wall. "Don't come out, no matter what! Stay inside!"
"Damn you!" Peter yelled. "Why did you do that?" he gripped the knife and scanned the room trying desperately to calculate his next move. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. He was sure she would be flattered. But he didn't get to say all the things he had planned. She just didn't understand, he thought, they needed to be alone so he could tell her all the things he needed to. "Come with me, Alyssa," he said motioning to her with his hand.
Anna stood against the far wall shaking her head, unable to get words out.
When she didn't move he ran to her, knowing his time was limited, that boy whom he considered a rebellious brat was going to get that man he'd seen Alyssa with. That began to infuriate him even more.
Anna screamed, holding her hands out in front of her fearing he was going to stab her. Instead he grabbed her around the neck as she stared at the knife that was at her waist.
"Why do you have to be like this? I told you not to be afraid!"
"Steve is a police officer," she shuddered, "he's coming." She hoped that would scare him off but it only made him angrier. He grabbed a handful of her hair, pulling her head back, placing the knife at her throat. "We're leaving Alyssa," he said, yanking her away from the wall and walking her toward the door. "I have some things to say to you and we can't talk here anymore. You ruined that!" he shook her.
She gasped feeling the sharp blade on her neck. Her vision blurred as the tears filled her eyes. He held her tightly by the hair as they went out the bedroom door and down the hallway.
She stared at the front door as they came down the steps, praying Steve would get there before he had a chance to get her outside.
Eric slammed into his front door, pounding with one hand and turning the handle with the other. As it opened he tripped over the doorstep in his panic, screaming out for him as he scrambled to his feet.
They ran into each other as Steve came around the corner from the kitchen. He took a hold of his Eric's shoulders, seeing the frantic expression on him. "What's wrong?! What happened?!" he asked as the panic over something happening to Anna or Jenny began to engulf him.
"He's there," Eric said between breaths as he began to hyperventilate.
"Who?"
"The…man," he stammered, "the man…from Costco…in Anna's room."
Steve ran past him toward his gun that was in the closet by the door, pulling it out of the holster. "Stay here! Where's Jenny?"
"With Anna."
"My phones in the kitchen. Call 911, give them your address and my name," he said going out the door and closing it behind him.
Peter scanned the front yard before going out the opened front door, seeing it was clear as he glanced over at his car across the way. "Let's go."
"No!" Anna squirmed, feeling the hold on her tighten.
"Don't make me go up there and hurt that little girl, Alyssa. All I want is some private time with you and then you'll understand." They came off the porch onto the grass when he heard a voice behind him.
"Let her go!" Steve demanded as he came toward them, his arm stretched out and the gun pointed at them.
Peter turned pulling Anna back against this chest, hiding the knife behind her back. "Go home!" he said. "Alyssa and I want to be alone!" He nudged her with the knife, wanting her to agree with him. When she didn't respond he nudged her again with the point of the knife.
Anna gasped fearfully, feeling the blade go through her shirt. "Steve," her voice small as she begged him to help her.
"You're not leaving," Steve replied calmly, keeping a slight distance. He looked at Anna's terrified expression and felt his anger accelerate over the position she was in, meeting her eyes. "It's ok Anna," he said calming her. "He's not going to hurt you."
"This has nothing to do with you!" Peter yelled putting the knife back up to her throat as Anna closed her eyes and whimpered, her whole body trembling. "Put that gun down, or else."
"Listen to me," Steve said to him, lowering his gun and setting it on the rail next to him.
Peter stared at the gun, feeling he had just gained the upper hand.
"Look at me, and listen very closely," Steve said in a calm passive voice.
Peter made his way back up to his face and felt that upper hand slip. The voice coming from the man across from him didn't match the stare that bore into him, it was void of any feeling but held conviction as he began to speak to him.
"There's two ways this is going to go, neither of them is going to be good for you. You can put that knife down and let her go and go to jail, or," he took a step closer to him, never breaking a sweat or even blinking as he spoke the gospel truth. "If you so much as make a mark on her, I'll kill you. But first I'll hurt you in ways that you won't even have the strength to scream out from the pain."
"I…" Peter stammered feeling the fear now as he not only heard the words but saw the truth behind them in his eyes. "I love her and I just need to explain myself." He pointed the knife at him angrily. "This is between Alyssa and me!"
"Not anymore," Steve replied without missing a beat or wavering in any way. "I love her too and she's scared. I have no feelings for you. I don't care if you live or die tonight, I only care about her, but you will care if you hurt her. You'll beg me to kill you before I'm through with you."
Anna stared at him knowing he always spoke the truth, but never seeing it so clearly as she was right now. She was frightened beyond words over her ordeal having a blade to her throat from a crazed man, but somehow knew she would come out unscathed.
Peter's mind was racing in three different directions. His want for Alyssa and his fear over the words being spoken from the man who had taken on the character of the devil himself, and his plan to escape, which seemed now doomed. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. His hand trembled as he held the knife to her throat.
Steve saw the moment approaching, not only in the confused expression on the man's face but in the red and blue lights flashing behind Anna and her assailant, knowing he'd only have a spilt second to make his move. He already had the plan in his head he just needed that distraction, all he needed was a hesitation.
Peter saw the lights out of the corner of his eye and turned in the direction of the road.
It all happened so quickly Anna barely had time to react. She saw Steve lunge forward and the next thing she knew she was on the ground by the force of his hand, being pushed out of harms way, while the other hand held the wrist of Peter that had been against her throat. She turned and saw the two men on the ground a few feet away as Steve pounded several blows into the man's face until he laid unconscious.
He took the knife from the limp hand and tossed it over toward the house getting it out of the way. He rolled him over on his stomach locking both of his hands together with one of his, but there was no resistance from the unconscious man.
He glanced over at Anna who was on her knees still in a daze over the whole ordeal and more so over the last several seconds, not even noticing the other officers that approached who recognized Steve immediately. He spoke to them briefly, explaining the situation.
He went to her after releasing the man to them, taking her under the arms and pulling her up off the ground as she wrapped them around his neck.
She couldn't speak but only clung to him, knowing it could have turned out so much worse if he hadn't been there.
He held her just as tightly, letting himself feel the fear that he had suppressed to gain control of the situation. "It's ok," he said, speaking not only to her but telling himself as well. He pulled back examining her neck for any wounds. "Did he hurt you?" his voice almost frantic.
It was she now that calmed him, taking his face in her hands as he looked at her. "I'm fine," she whispered with tears filling her eyes. She kissed him and then put her arms around him again. "Thank you," she whimpered. "Thank you."
It dawned on them both then at the same time.
"Jenny!" he blurted out feel that panic begin to rise in him once again.
Anna pulled away from him as she went toward the house. "She's locked in my bathroom."
Steve went by her, tearing up the stairs, taking every other step and running down the hall until he was at the door.
"Jenny," he said, pulling on the locked door, trying not to voice his concern and scare her. "It's Steve honey, open the door."
He could hear the fumbling of the lock and shrieks of fright coming from the other side as she desperately tried to get it open. He was going to give it about three more seconds and then break it down, not being able to tolerate knowing how scared she was. He needed to get to her.
The door finally came open as she stood there crying, holding a small towel in her hands, wading it up over and over as if it might calm the hysteria inside of her. Her little face covered with tears, showing the terror that she felt over the last few grueling minutes.
Steve came down to her height as she came at him, hurdling her body into his. He stood up holding her tightly. "It's ok sweetie," he said stroking her back. "Everything's ok."
She wrapped her arms and legs around him holding on for dear life as if someone might try and pull her away, all the while the sounds of fear and panic coming from her tore at him. "Shhh," he soothed her.
"It's ok Jenny," Anna repeated his words, stroking her hair, "that man is gone now."
They sat down on the bed as she began to calm some.
Eric appeared at the door, escorted by an officer. The sight of the three of them was the most comforting thing he could imagine at the moment, making his way over to them fighting back the tears. Anna scooted over and guided him between she and Steve. He squeezed in between them feeling the security of the two most important adults in his life; the fear sliding off his shoulders.
They both put an arm around him as Jenny still sat on Steve's lap, her head on his chest still clinging tightly to him.
"Who was that man," she asked between sniffs, still gulping for air.
"He wanted to talk to me," Anna explained, "he didn't understand that he wasn't supposed to be here, but Steve and Eric set him straight." She smiled over at him, squeezing Eric a little tighter.
"He won't come back, I promise," Steve said.
"Did you put him in jail?" Jenny asked him.
"Yes, he's going to jail."
"I saw them putting him in a police car," Eric said. "He couldn't walk very good."
Anna chuckled over that, "That's because Steve was true to his word. He beat him up."
Jenny looked up at him. "You beat him up?"
"I thought he was going to hurt Anna. I wasn't going to let that happen."
She smiled, resting her head back against him.
"Hey Steve," the officer at the door said, "They need you downstairs."
"Ok," he went to set Jenny down on the bed when the panic and tears returned.
"No!" she shrieked, clinging to him, "don't leave!"
"Hey, hey," he said soothingly, "I'm not leaving. I'm just going downstairs to talk to the police and then I'll be back, ok?"
Her fists held handfuls of his shirt, "Do you promise?"
"I promise," he squeezed her tighter, giving her a few more seconds until she then released him.
"You wait here with Anna and Eric and I'll be right back." He set her down next to Eric putting a hand on his shoulder. "Stay here with them," he said as if the boy's presence would be equal to his own.
Eric looked up at him as if that demand was the most important task he'd ever been given. "I will."
"You did good tonight, Buddy," he patted his shoulder, "I'm proud of you."
Eric didn't reply but the gratitude showed all over him as he sat up a little straighter, feeling braver than he ever had in his life. He put his arm around Jenny, showing him he'd take care of them while he was away.
Anna watched him walk out of the room and engage in a conversation with the other officer as they went down the hallway. She as well as the other two knew they were safe in the house, but somehow his leaving the room made them all seem a little more vulnerable. He was like their shield that they could stand behind and knew full well he'd stand firm at all costs.
Steve came back in the room a few minutes later acknowledging Jenny and Eric with a smile. The same officer from before stood just outside the door, looking over a pad of paper.
Steve motioned for Anna to join him out of earshot of the kids.
"They want to get your statement downstairs," he explained. "Just tell them what you remember. Don't say anything you're not sure might have happened, only what you remember did happen. As time goes on you'll recall more and then we can update your statement. The sure way to get a conviction is to be accurate." He reached up, stroking her arm as she listened closely to what he had said. "Are you ok to do this right now?"
She nodded. "Yes. I want to do it now."
He smiled over her confidence, giving her hug. "It doesn't have to be drawn out, just tell them what happened. I'll stay up here with the kids."
She pulled away from him. "You're not coming with me?"
"No. It's better if we have separate statements and our stories match."
Anna leaned in a little closer, "What about the threats you made to him? Should I say that?"
He took her gently by both arms, "Listen to me. You tell them everything you remember about what happened. Don't leave anything out. You understand?" He gave her a firm look as if telling her again not to lie about anything.
She nodded, knowing she should trust him and that he probably wasn't telling her what to say or what not to say incase she was questioned in court later on. "We didn't do anything wrong anyway."
"No, we didn't," he assured her.
She followed the police officer downstairs and met up with another one as she sat down on the couch and they both took seats across from her on the coffee table.
They introduced themselves and very calmly and politely asked her to just simply tell them what happened from the beginning. She explained the encounter at Costco a few weeks earlier and how she now understood the strange occurrences around the house and things that were out of place.
They told her that they had found the laundry room window had been rigged, assuming now that he had come and gone more than once. That sent a chill through her, wondering if he had been there other times while they were home, watching them or watching her.
She told them about coming home and him being in the bedroom and the conversation between them that she could remember, again, they explaining to her the same as Steve that she would recall more as time went on and not to worry about too many details but give them the low down on what happened, especially once he had taken her outside because that would change the conviction to attempted kidnapping, which was a mandatory sentence.
She stood on the front porch with them and replayed in words what she could remember, feeling the fear creep up on her again. "He had the knife to my throat," she explained, "and then we came out here," she pointed to the ground, showing the path. "He was taking me to his car…" she paused and a smile slowly appeared on her. "And then I heard Steve behind us. He said in a very commanding voice for him to let me go."
"Commander McGarrett came from this way," the officer pointed, "from his house?"
"Yes," Anna said, looking over in that direction.
"Did he have a weapon?"
"Yes. He had a gun in his hand, pointed at the man." She looked at one of the officers, "but he didn't need it." She explained as much as she could the discussion between them, but it all seemed foggy at the moment. She was calm but the surrealism of the events that had taken place was still like a dream. "The next thing I knew I was on the ground over here," she pointed, "and Steve was on top of him, hitting him."
They asked a few more questions and then thanked her. Informing her that they would be in contact and if she recalled anything else to let them know.
Anna came down the steps as Steve stood at the front door with the two remaining officers, shaking their hands and then closing it behind them.
"Are they all gone?" Anna asked.
He turned to her, "Yes."
She came down the rest of the way and straight up to him, wrapping her arms around his body. "You're going to stay aren't you?" she looked up at him uneasily. "Don't go home."
He had no intention of leaving them for the night. Even if she wouldn't have asked him to stay he was pretty sure he would have camped out on their porch anyway. There was no way he would have got a minute of sleep in his house knowing they were here alone. "Of course I'll stay."
He locked up the house before following her back up the steps. They came inside the bedroom and both kids were already sleeping on her bed.
Neither he nor she complained about the crowded space as he turned the light off and they both lay down on opposite sides. He was next to Eric, and she next to Jenny. The bathroom light remained on with the door slightly ajar incase one of the kids woke up, not wanting it to be completely dark and scare them.
They both lay on their sides looking at each other over the kids. The house was quiet and it gave both of them a chance to really reflect on what had happened.
He looked over at her, seeing the torment in her eyes as the moment replayed in her head, knowing it was going to frighten her even more now. "Close your eyes Anna," he said, reaching over the kids and putting his hand on her face. "Don't think about it anymore tonight. You're safe now and nothing can hurt you. Close your eyes and go to sleep."
She put her hand over top of his as he gently stroked her cheek and then let it rest there. She closed her eyes as she was told, surprised at how easy it was to forget. She didn't think about the man that had terrorized her but thought about the one across from her now. She pictured the fierce look in his eyes as he spoke to her attacker. The words earlier had been lost in the chaos of her fear, but now that she was relaxed and safe, he was right, memories of what had actually happened were coming back to her. 'I have no feelings for you,' she recalled Steve saying to him. 'I don't care if you live or die tonight, but if you even so much as leave a mark on her, I'll kill you.'
She could remember seeing the conviction not only in his face but also in his voice. Everything Steve said she believed to be the undisputed truth. With that thought still lingering, another memory in the heat of the moment that she had overlooked came flooding back.
She opened her eyes back up looking across at him as he stared at her. She felt her whole body tingle from the impact of it and the declaration of his love for her. His hand on her face suddenly felt warm as it spread over her.
'He said he loved me.'
He watched her sleep, hoping it would come quick and without any anguish over their ordeal. Seeing the fear on her earlier was almost more than he could take. He knew without a doubt even as he lay there now, that if the man had harmed her, he would have killed him on the spot. There would have been no arrest, no trial and no jury, just his fury that would have led to the man's demise.
He looked down at Eric and especially Jenny, knowing the truth held strong for both of them as well. He was falling in love with Anna, or already had, and the two kids weren't far behind. He'd tried to talk himself out of it earlier in the night, but as he lay there with them now, he knew what he wanted, it was this very spot. He wanted to be the man in each of their lives.
He looked back up at Anna as she opened her eyes, looking at back at him. He swore he felt his heart leap over the gaze that told him he wasn't alone in this journey. He'd never had anyone look at him like that before, wondering if she had believed his confession of love from earlier, hoping she didn't think it was said in the heat of the moment, and even though it was, he felt true to it even now.
Her hand glided over his arm and then back again, repeating it slowly. The feel of it and the way she looked at him was euphoric.
"I'm remembering more about tonight," she smiled ever so slyly, "I remember words," she whispered to him.
He knew exactly what she was referring too, not elaborating nor denying any of it.
He smiled back and she didn't think she'd ever seen anything sexier in her entire life.
"Go to sleep Anna," he said, stroking her cheek with his thumb.
She closed her eyes, still caressing his arm. "I am safe, aren't I?" she asked, but he took it as a whole knew meaning.
"Yes," he replied, "you are."
Despite the harrowing events, it turned out to be a night she would remember fondly, always.