Farts and Fridays
HELLO, NARUTO HERE! SO RAMENNOODLE IS 13 YEARS OLD NOW, AND HE IS KIND OF A…. HE TAKES AFTER SASUKE I THINK! RAMENNOODLE WAS BORN WITH BLONDE HAIR LIKE ME, BUT THOUGHT HIS OTHER DAD WAS MUCH COOLER SO HE DYED IT BLACK! (THAT DIDN'T HURT OR ANYTHING, I'M SURE HE FEELS SOME LOVE FOR ME SOMEWHERE INSIDE THAT ICE COLD HEART OF HIS!). HE DOESN'T MAKE HIS HAIR LOOK LIKE A DEAD BIRD AT LEAST! HIS HAIR LOOKS A LOT LIKE NAGATOS HAIR… IT'S STRAIGHT AND ALL DOWN, AND BLACK (HE'S KIND OF EMO, I TOLD YOU HE TAKES AFTER SASUKE). AND IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH! THIS IS NOT A BAD THING THOUGH, BUT ANYWAY! IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH! HIS FRIEND FLOWER POWER ABURAME NARA HAS SHOWED HIM HER NEW TECHNIQUE "BUTTERFLY FART NO JUTSU" OR SOMETHING… SO NOW… RAMENNOODLE INVENTED THE RASENGAN FART NO JUTSU! TO BE HONES I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW HE DID IT, BUT HE DID! AND IT'S AWESOME! SADLY, SASUKE THINKS THINKS IT'S DUMB AND CHILDISH.
I GOT RAMENNOODLE TO DESCRIBE HOW THE FART WORKS SO I'M JUST GONNA QUOTE HIM ON THIS. "FIRST. I MAKE. CIRCLES WITH MY. HAND. IN FRONT OF MY TUMMY. TO MAKE THE. CHAKRA. DO THE SPINNY THING. THEN I HARNESS. IT. AND AS. THE FART IS. ON IT'S. WAY. OUT. I RAPIDLY AND. REPEATEDLY. SQUEEZE TIGHT. AND THEN RELAX. MY BUM. OPENING. MAKING THE. SPINNING CHAKRA. FART. THAT IS. COMING OUT. BECOME SMALL. RASENGAN-LIKE BALLS. IT'S SMELLY. AND POWERFUL." AND YES, THAT IS HOW HE TALK.
"HEY NARUTO, IT'S FRIDAY AND IT'S 3 P.M.! IT'S TIME TO GO TO THE LOVE FOREST" SASUKE SAID WITH HIS SEXY VIOCE, WINKING AT ME. I WINKED BACK AND WENT TO OUR BEDROOM TO FIND CONDOMS (DON'T WANT ANOTHER NOODLE IN THE STROODLE) AND LUBE BECAUSE WE FORGOT LUBE THE FIRST TIME AND IT HURT SASUKE AND I NEVER WANNA HURT HIM AGAIN SO WE HAVE USED LUBE EVER SINCE THAT TIME. ALSO CONDOMS. OH I GUESS I SHOULD EXPLAIN WHY "FRIDAY 3 P.M." IS SO IMPORTANT FOR THIS. WELL YOU SEE RAMENNOODLE ALWAYS LEAVES THE HOUSE AT 2:50 P.M AND SOESNT COME BACK UNTIL 5 P.M. SO ME AND SASUKE USE THIS TIME ALONE TO GO TO THE LOVE FOREST AND FUCK LIKE THE WILD AND KINKY ANIMALS THAT WE ARE. WE FUCK LIKE WILD DONKEYS! THAT MEANS WE ARE GOOD IN BED! ESPECIALLY SASUKE! SASUKE IS LIKE THE ALPHA DONKEY IN BED!
WE FOUND OUR USUAL SPOT, IT'S THE PLACE WHERE WE DID IT THE FIRST TIME, AND GOT READY. IT WAS MY TURN TO GET HIS SEXINATOR INSIDE MY POOPHOLE, SO SASUKE PUT SOME LUBE ON HIS FINGER AND SLID IT INTO MY HOLE TO LUBE IT UP. THEN HE PUT THE CONDOM ON AND SOME EXTRA LUBE ON THAT. HE SHOVED IT INTO ME AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT, HE KNOW I LIKE IT THAT WAY, AND WE BANGED AND BANGED TIL WE CAME. AH SWEET MONKEY DONKEY LOVE SEX WITH SASUKE IS GREAT! AND THIS TIME WE HAD SOME ENTERTAINMENT! NOT FAR AWAY WE COULD SEE KIBA AND NEJI DOING THE DANCE TOO. I HOPE THEY USED A CONDOM BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE THEY DON'T WANT ANOTHER KID EITHER HAHAHAHA!
SASUKE AND I CAME HOME A LITTLE LATER THAN USUAL BECAUSE WE TALKED WITH KIBA AND NEJI AFTER WE WERE DONE SHMEXING, SO RAMENNOODLE WAS ALREADY HOME WHEN WE GOT BACK. "WHERE. HAVE YOU BEEN. DAD. AND NARUDAD?" HE ASKED CALMLY IN HIS CALM VOICE AND WITH A CALM ATTITUDE. "WELL, RAMENNOODLE, WE WERE OUT ON A DOUBLE DATE WITH KIBA AND NEJI! IT WAS FUCKING GREAT!" "OH GOD. NARUDAD. DID YOU. TWO. SUCK EACH OTHERS. ASPARGUSES. AGAIN? THAT IS. SO GROSS. EW. I DON'T WANNA. HEAR. MORE OF THIS. I'M GOING. TO MY. ROOM." AND WITH THAT, HE LEFT.
"IT'S DYNNER TIME!" I YELLED SO THEY COULD ALL HEAR ME. BUT NO ONE CAME. "IT'S FUCKING DINNER TIME! COME TO THE FUCKING KITCHEN RIGHT NOW!" I YELLED EVEN LOUDER, AND THIS TIME THEY CAME TO THE KITCHEN AND SAT DOWN AT THE TABLE AND I SERVED THEM DINNER. "UGH. RAMEN AGAIN? WHY. NARUDAD. WHY. DO YOU. DO. THIS TO. ME" "WELL RAMENNOODLE THIS IS THE BEST FOOD IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD ITS SO GOOD I JUST HAD TO NAME YOU AFTER IT OK! SO JUST FUKINHG EAT IT!"
HE DIDN'T EAT IT… SASUKE DIDN'T EITHER…. THEY MADE NEW DINNER AND ATE THAT WHILE I WAS EATING RAMEN… MORE RAMEN FOR ME I GUESS…. EVEN THO IT MAKES ME SAD THAT THEY DON'T LIKE RANEN.
:(
WRITTEN BY:
NARUTO UZUMAKI.
Ps: Sasuke here. Apparently, Naruto had some problems with the caps lock. He does not yell and scream all the time, and Ramennoodle Itachi does not yell at all. Ramennoodle almost whisper everything he say.