Loss and Grief

by mmmgirl13

When Edward left, Bella loss more than just her first love, she lost a family, a life she planned to have. When they leave the community sees a love struck teenager pining for her first "love". They only see her grieving. What they don't acknowledge is while there can be a loss without grief, there can not be grief without loss. A retelling of NM from a loss and grief perspective.

2. Chapter 2

Another afternoon bled by. Everything unchanging to the little town of Forks. If great grandparents of the previous generations were to see it now, they would not think they were in the future. Only the people had changed, and even some of those stayed as stagnant as the trees.

A little girl rushes ahead of her mother along the sidewalk. Laughing gaily, her tinted red nose is thrown back with mirth. She goes unaware that her mother lags behind not because she is out of energy, but because her mind is troubled with work, bills, and everyday household expenses. The little girl goes unaware, for when she turns back her mother always has a smile to shine down upon her, and to the little girl, a smile was all the reassurance one needs.

Everyone smiles, was the girl's simple logic. They smile when they are happy, when something is funny, or even when something is just good. A smile means they are good. And everyone with a mouth could smile- well not everyone.

It wasn't always there, but for the last few months the little girl had seen what she first thought to be a mannequin in the chief of polices house on the second floor. It was a girl, older than herself, yet nearly identical in size. She sat still as stone, eyes glazed over looking out her window. She never moved, not even when the little girl waved. Her lips stayed in a permanent solid line. This girl confused everything the little girl thought she had ever known. Even Jimmy in her elementary class, who was the champion, at the quiet game AND freeze tag, couldn't stay still longer than a minute. From the moment the little girl saw her at the beginning of the street all the way till she reached the end, the girl in the window never moved. Even days later she would be in the same spot, unchanged from the day before. When her mother was on a phone call one afternoon walk, the little girl decided enough was enough, she was going to figure out why this girl didn't ever move. And when she approached closer to the house, she thought she figured it out. The girl wasn't a human girl, she was a mannequin girl! Her skin color was the same pasty white as the mannequins at the mall, and her brown hair was stringy, and greasy, exactly how fake hair would look on the rare mannequin who got a wig. Plus she was super skinny like mannequins have to be so that they can fit all sizes of clothes, even the extra extra little girl was satisfied about figuring out the mystery, and for a time stayed content, the mannequin in the window consistency assuring.

Then weeks later, her theory crumbled to dust. She had run ahead of her mother to see the mannequin before it became too dark. It seemed each day became darker earlier, and if the little girl stuck to her original walk schedule, by the time they reached the chief's house it would be too dark to see in. And because the little girl arrived earlier, she saw something she hadn't ever seen before. The girl she had named mannequin girl wasn't at her spot by the window. And she wasn't alone. A man with the same shade of hair as the girls, sprinkled with the beginning of pepper, was holding on to the girl's arm. Carefully he steered her to her chair that looked outside. Gently he pushed her into her seat and quickly left only to appear again with a small bowl of soup. Gingerly he wrapped her fingers around a spoon and guided her to the bowl. As soon as the spoon was engulfed by the liquid, as if by signaled, the girl lifted the substance into her mouth. Slower than it took to lift the spoon, the girl swallowed after a minute the liquid sat in her mouth. The man lightly smoothed the girl's stray hair to be tucked behind her ears. With a heavy sigh, he left when five minutes passed and she had yet to lift the spoon again.

The little girl stared up in shock. Everything made perfect since now. The mannequin girl was indeed not a mannequin, but a puppet girl. The scene the girl just witnessed almost a replica of the one she had seen in a movie a time ago. Pinocchio was the name. And the man had to have been her maker, yearning for his puppet girl to find a star and wish, wish like he already has, that she too would want herself to become a real girl.

Forks High School was angsty for change. Nothing exciting had happened since Isabella Swan had transferred in almost a year ago. They thought something juicy might happen when she and the mysterious Cullen had broken up. Maybe like Lauren, out of bitter and anger, would spill some of her ex's secrets. But no juice had been spilled. Instead, Bella had remained silent. This created its own gossip. What happened to have made her so withdrawn? The oblivious people even dared to ask. But all they got was silence. Her closer friend, Angela, tried to be a silent support. Initially softly whispering she had an ear willing to listen whenever Bella felt ready. What she didn't know was that Bella had nothing she could tell. Nothing that wouldn't get her locked up for being crazy. So instead she did it herself, instead of steel bars, Bella locked herself inside her mind.

And after weeks had gone by and nothing had changed, life moved on from the speculation of Bella Swan's life. They moved on, leaving her behind. But she was use to that.

But her routine was threatened to change. Charlie must be losing patience with her. He didn't want her anymore either. He wanted her to go back to Renee. But Bella knew she couldn't do that. Anger fueled by fear erupted inside of Bella. It was her first passionate emotion in months. Don't let him take you to Renee, a voice commanded in her head. It was masculine, hard while still soothing. It was familiar, but in her haze of emotion, Bella couldn't disfigure who. Renee doesn't know a weak Bella, she knows a strong Bella who would take care of her, who guided her and assured her when times were tough. You can't let her see you when you've fallen apart. Let one part of your old self stay alive. Don't let it die when she truly finds out how far you've fallen. And with the start of the voice, was the end of her first phase of grieving. The voice had cut her strings, yet she had forgotten how to walk on her own. It would be a while before she learned how to stand once more. But unlike the people in her life, the voice was here to stay.