A/N- thinking about how long it's been since I updated makes me want to cry, but here it is, the next chapter of HIA. I apologise for the less than fabulous chapter after so long, it was supposed to be just a small part of a chapter, but it kept getting longer, so I'll try and get the third of the three days up as soon as possible. As ever, thank you to those that review and add me to their alerts. I love it when I get an email saying that one you love the story as much as I do. I'm still ironing out the storyline, but I really hope you won't be disappointed with what comes up during the next few months in ficland! I will try and get a few chapters banked during revision season, and hopefully get you weekly updates for a while if I can. Thank you for sticking with HIA, I shall leave you with Seattle Grace!
It was close to a week before Thatcher left the hospital, against medical advice, and to his home and not the rehab facility that had been advised by all of his physicians, and all three of his daughters. Lexie had spent every free moment she had with her father during his recovery in case god forbid something happen to him, leaving her once again unable to say goodbye to a dying parent. Meredith had checked in on him when she could, Derek often finding her just looking at him from the doorway as he slept, not needing words to know that deep down she wished he'd been more of a father to her. It wasn't that she needed a hand to guide her or to walk her down the aisle, the family that she had picked up along the way were plenty sufficient for that, but Derek had his family, and Meredith deserved her own too. Derek's family had embraced and accepted her, for which she was grateful, but she wanted blood relatives of her own, whether she dared to admit it or not.
She stayed more than once, not just for the peace and quiet to think about all the things that were changing, to pick furniture for the new house or wedding decorations without input from whoever happened to be home, but also to be there for Lexie. She could appreciate what it felt like to not be able to say goodbye to a parent, having been dead herself at the time her mother died. While it had felt real saying goodbye to her mother in the ghostly alternate universe version of Seattle Grace, she still wished she'd been able to say goodbye while conscious, or even during the brief few hours that her mother was lucid. Thatcher too had never really said goodbye to her. She'd tried to forgive him for Susan's sake, she'd even began to enjoy his company, a small part of her truly believing that one day they might have some sort of relationship, even if it wasn't as father and daughter. She'd hate to see him die at the hand of his addiction before she got a chance to really know the man that was half of the reason she was born in the first place. And not just the man that poured her cereal for five years of her life and then disappeared for the next twenty.
Derek was as always incredibly supportive of her, allowing her to scrub in when she needed to be in the OR, sitting with her and Lexie until late in the evening, making sure the sisters were adequately fed and hydrated, more than mindful that it was more important than ever for Meredith to be getting the right nutrition. He spent many hours going through Meredith's few childhood memories that featured her father, the odd birthday or Christmas, days to the beach and surprise gifts. She had so few, but they were so very precious to her and very quickly they ceased to continue. He never wanted to be the kind of father that Thatcher had been, he was certain that he could never walk out on his child and not look back, and he made sure that Meredith knew that. He held her and their child tightly as they slept, not moving until she stirred from her slumber and made the routine visit to the bathroom to vomit of a morning.
For Meredith it was so rare to be supported wholly and unconditionally, and she embraced it, letting Derek in and telling him things that she wanted to share or simply get off her chest. She was more than conscious of the fact that a year ago something like this would've made her shut herself off from the world, but now she was far more comfortable sharing her pain with Derek. Somehow knowing that he wasn't going to leave her for being vulnerable, or treat her as anything less than capable of dealing with things made the prospect of getting through Thatcher's recovery and the effect it had on both her and Lexie just that little bit easier.
Valentine's Day fell just a few days after Thatcher's departure, and in the middle of Meredith's 9th week of pregnancy. Usually the promise of dinner at a nice restaurant followed by sex was good enough gift for the pair of them on a holiday, but this year, given Meredith's exhausting morning vomiting routine, and the ever increasing array of foods that she could no longer bring herself to eat, it didn't seem like the best idea to Derek. She was often too tired for sex after a shift now anyway, so Derek had been a little creative with his alternative gift.
Watching her stir from her slumber, mere minutes before the alarm was due to sound, he captured her lips with his own until her glorious green eyes met his.
"Happy Valentine's day," He grinned at her, knowing he had only a few minutes before she was forced into the bathroom by their growing foetus. An unpleasant part of their morning routine but, Meredith assured him a welcome one if it meant that their baby was healthy and growing bigger and stronger every day. She'd happily endure everything that their baby had to throw at them as they edged ever closer to the twelve week mark, where the risk of miscarriage was reduced somewhat.
"Happy Valentine's," she giggled back, rolling the pair of them over so that she was sat on top of him, straddling his waist, just leaning into kiss him before she had to jump up off of the bed and into the bathroom to empty her stomach. Derek followed her rubbing her back and offering her a glass of water as had become their routine. The pair had discussed drugs to help with the nausea, but with work rarely being affected, Meredith had decided against them, intending to keep drug free throughout her pregnancy and birth.
"Sorry," she giggled when she was finished. "That wasn't the sexiest start to valentine's day, nearly barfing in your face." She took his hands when he offered them to pull her to her feet, leading her back into their room. He rummaged in his closet for a moment before pulling out a large, reasonably flat package.
"What's this?" Meredith asked, scrunching her nose in the way Derek loved.
"Well, I didn't want you to feel as though you had to give me the gift of sex, so I thought instead of dinner and a sex date, I'd get you a gift, then we can watch a movie in bed later, with pizza and root beer and if you feel like it then I'm not going to say no to sex." He wiggled his eyebrows to make her giggle, the glow of her pregnancy combining with her laugh to create the most beautiful sight Derek had ever seen.
"You really are the best fiancé ever aren't you?" she asked rhetorically kissing him softly before tearing the paper from her gift. Inside was a set of twenty tiny handcrafted drawers, hand painted with tiny hearts, each adorned with a small label filled with Derek's handwriting. Opening the drawers one by one, she found each contained teabags, sachets of hot chocolate, pods of honey, sugar packets or decaffeinated coffee, the labels stating that they were to try and quell her coffee cravings and the other pregnancy symptoms she was facing. She smiled up at Derek's expectant face.
"You did all of this?" She raised her eyebrows as she grinned. He nodded proudly, his grin very much matching hers
"I know you haven't enjoyed switching from coffee to decaf everything, so I thought I'd give you a few options. and some of them are supposed to relieve nausea and help keep you healthy during pregnancy, I tried them all first at the tea shop in the mall, they all tasted fine to me, but the clerk suggested that maybe honey or sugar would sweeten it up so I added those too. If you don't like it I can return it but i…"
"It's perfect," She sniffled, her tears surfacing again. "It's such a sweet thought. I thought I was going to be the one that gave you a really sweet gift, and now you've done this. That's so unfair Derek." She was looking far angrier now, her hormones creating rather intense mood swings of late and Derek knew that the next words out of his mouth would definitely affect the chances of him getting sex tonight, or being allowed back in the house after work for that matter.
"Meredith, whatever it is you got me I know it will be perfect but you didn't have to get me anything, you're carrying our baby, and you're marrying me in a few months that's all the present I need."
"Well I won't go to any effort next time," she growled, pulling a package from her nightstand and throwing it at him, the hard edge making contact with his knee. He winced in pain before opening the gift, pulling away several layers of protective wrapping to reveal a heart shaped photo frame, half of which contained a picture of he and Meredith cheesing it up for the camera at Christmastime, the other half saw their recent sonogram picture. It was for all intense and purposes their first ever family photograph, and the realisation of that sentiment had him blinking back his own tears.
"Oh God I love you," he said getting up and sweeping her into his arms, kissing her as hard as he could. She softened in his arms, deepening the kiss and pulling him down onto the bed. There would definitely be sex tonight. She would make sure of it. Their valentine's day wasn't shaping up to be the cheesy romantic affair that she would have expected from Derek Shepherd, but the thought and understanding of her future husband blew any Hallmark greeting straight out of the water.
Valentine's was as near to perfect as it could be for Meredith, scrubbing in on two paeds surgeries with Dr. Robbins, the new attending, and spending much of the afternoon in Derek's office catching up on her charting, a big box of Valentine's chocolates to work on as she did so. She was out and being driven home by her fiancé, who had also had a pretty productive day, by six. Izzie and Alex were having a romantic night at a hotel so that both couples could have their privacy. The evening had been relaxing, Meredith loading her pizza with every topping her pregnancy would allow her to eat, and laughing at Derek's cheese less veggie supreme. The film had been a tearjerker, an impulsive choice at the video store, Izzie having marvelled at it a few months previously. Derek had held her tightly through the sad bits and let her snuggle against his chest for the rest. And to end the evening in the right way, there was more than just a little sex.
Meredith woke up completely naked, her back pressed against Derek's chest, his arms wrapped loosely around her waist, his hands in their usual place atop her stomach. She was calm and feeling truly at peace for those brief few minutes before her stomach realised she was awake and demanded to be emptied into the toilet bowl. But even despite her less than pleasant morning ritual, she honestly felt like today was going to be a good day.
She was on Mark's service that day, and whereas plastics usually bored her to tears, Mark knew her capabilities, and was more than willing to push her a little, and give her more responsibilities in the OR. The morning was filled with rhinoplasties, but it was something she'd scrubbed in on before so Mark was more than happy to simply guide her through some aspects of the surgery, setting her loose with the osteotome and mallet more than once. Although cosmetic, it gave her a sense of pride that she was able to improve so many lives by such a simple surgery. She wouldn't dare elect for a surgery, particularly if it meant having to pay the bill that came with it, but she was able to appreciate the confidence it would bring to the patients, which could only be a good thing.
Lunch found her sitting alone with Derek, stealing leaves from his salad, her tuna mayo sandwich joining the long list of foods that she would be avoiding for the foreseeable future. She'd brought along the furniture catalogues, the contractor having called just days before to inform them that the plumber was happy to sign off on his contribution to the house and the electrician was due to return in a few days to complete his final work and to sign off. By his estimate, once the decorators and furnishings were in, they would be able to move into the house in less than a month, giving them two to get settled before the wedding, and plenty of time to prepare for the baby. They were incredibly grateful for the mild winter weather Seattle had had, allowing for their house to be completed quickly but meticulously and even before the initial estimates. It was a big step for the two of them, living completely alone but it was one they couldn't wait to take. They had thought about selling the house, and bringing the furniture, but the house had been in Ellis' family for a long time, so for now, her friends, and the furniture were staying. It meant that they could have an entirely new start with the house, away from the pain of her childhood and onto the happy one she intended to provide for their son or daughter when they arrived.
Derek and Meredith's pagers bleeped almost simultaneously as they ate their last few bites, Derek being requested by the neuro fellow, and Meredith by Lexie. It seemed that Thatcher was being awkward, and making his follow up particularly difficult and neither the doctor nor his daughter could get him to cooperate. Both hurried to the room, Derek taking a second to compose himself before entering the room. He was livid with the man, not only had he put both Meredith and Lexie through hell over the years, he had forced them both to deal with his addiction and the consequences of it. He hated how it upset both Lexie and Meredith to see him in this state, and had him wondering how any father could do that to his children. Still he was a doctor within the hospital's four walls and he had to do whatever was best for his patient, even if that meant spending even more time in Thatcher's company than he would like. With any luck he might finally be persuaded to go to rehab.
"Dr. Shepherd," Thatcher greeted with a sneer, "I take it you're here to try and convince me I have some kind of problem and need to be locked away like a criminal as well."
"Mr. Grey, I'm here purely to give you a neuro exam and check the progress of your recovery with the suggestion that a rehabilitation facility may help you deal with whatever problems you are facing at the moment. If you choose not to take my advice then that's up to you, I can't force you to do anything." The rest of the exam was conducted in an awkward silence. Derek did merely what was required, not asking him any additional questions or even attempting to make small talk. Lexie left part way through to answer her own page, a look of complete exasperation on her face. Derek signed the various forms to say that he was happy with the progress made so far, and recommending a follow up appointment in a few weeks, and that a rehab facility was advised, before stepping out of the room waiting for Meredith to follow him to his office with the charts he knew she had to complete.
"I'll join you in a second," she smiled, taking a seat next to Thatcher's bed. It was the first time since Susan had been alive that she'd been completely alone with him, so she took a breath to compose herself.
"You were never a father to me, that I can remember." She began. "I know you poured my cereal every morning, and there are photos of the two of us, but I don't remember you as a father. When I saw you with Molly and the baby, I thought that maybe if my mother had been a different person that you would have been that person to me. Loving and proud, even if I hadn't chosen to become a surgeon. I even began to wonder if I could have that with you, that we could somehow look past the twenty years that you chose not to be in my life for, that maybe I could be part of your family. Then after Susan died, I thought that maybe I was just wrong about it all. That you were just a callous ass that didn't care about anyone. And then I met Lexie. She loves you so much even though you hurt her and you force her to pick you up from the floor every time you want to forget everything. She loves you because you were a dad to her. You were more than the guy who poured her cereal in the morning. You went to her graduations and her recitals, you read to her and took her to the park, and did all the things I wished for years you'd done for me. You loved her, you do love her, I think. And if I'm at all right about that then you cannot do this to her. By some stroke of luck you got a kind, compassionate caring daughter that loves you unconditionally. One that would put her life and her career on hold to fix you up and help you get through this. To hold your hand while you act like a coward. Even with her own grief, her own pain at losing the woman that gave birth to her, and raised her with you. I know you think you lost everything when Susan died, I get that, I know how much it hurts to see the person you love ripped from your arms, but Thatcher you still have so much. Lexie and Molly are all that you have left of Susan, they have her kindness, her loving nature, they are her legacy, and you are going to lose them if you keep going this way. Lexie won't stick around forever. I won't let her stick around forever. You have to fight for them. You need them, and they need their father. Lexie is strong, but I don't think even she can face losing another parent. I'm not telling you that you have to go to the facility or change your habits or anything, but you need to think about how serious you are about having your daughters in your life, or you might just wake up one day without either of them. Think about whose going to pick you up off of the floor then." She looked at the nurses station where Derek stood, looking at her sorrowfully. "I have to go and see my fiancée now." Thatcher froze for a second, having not been told about the engagement yet by Meredith. "Yeah I'm getting married in May. You don't get to walk me down the aisle, but I'll bet that if Lexie ever does. She'd want you there. Now you just have to decide if you're going to be there for her." She stood up and walked away stopping at the door. "I'll help you if you want me to. Not because I owe you anything or care about you in anyway, but because I love Lexie, and she loves you, and she does not deserve to have a father who doesn't feel the same way. Susan had my contact details in the book you keep by the phone. You know whether or not you'll call. Goodbye Thatcher, I wish you all the best for your recovery. Someone will be along to finish everything here for you soon."
She blinked away the tears that were forming in her eyes, heading straight for Derek's open arms, burying herself in his chest whilst he held her tightly and pressed soft kisses to the top of her head.
"I am so proud of you." He whispered into her hair. "He really doesn't deserve to have a daughter as amazing as you." He rocked her gently in his arms until the tears had run dry. Exchanges with her father were never pleasant, but the calmness of her demeanour told him that it had been good for her to get it off her chest. Leading her up to his office, he let a hand stray to her abdomen, not yet complete with a baby bump, but nonetheless housing their child, one made with love and wanted more than either had ever wanted anything before. Normally she would move his hand away lest somebody notice and guess what she was hiding beneath her scrubs, but today she lay her hand atop his, needing a moment with her little family, safe in the knowledge that this child would never have to face the heartache of a parent leaving them, or ever feeling like a burden. It was then that Meredith began to smile properly for the first time since Thatcher had been wheeled through the doors. She may have had little experience of it as a child, but she had never felt more love in her life than in that moment, their secret little family growing by the second.
It was late afternoon before Meredith found herself back in the OR with Mark and a burns patient that had been waiting for a skin graft. She watched as he meticulously harvested the graft, never once flinching. That is until Meredith's phone started vibrating furiously, signalling a call. Mark sighed and lifted his tools, looking angrily at the nurse.
"It's Dr. Grey's." the nurse informed the room. "The number is unrecognised, but it seems to have left more than one voicemail."
"Turn it off." Meredith instructed, she knew without a doubt that Thatcher would have found another bottle of scotch, deciding it would be a good time to dig out her phone number. She focussed again on Mark's surgery, marvelling at his technique and precision, trying to leave the patient with minimal scarring. Plastics was a specialty that she had ruled out even before she got to medical school, but even she had to admit that in amongst the nose jobs and breast implants, there was something truly beautiful about it. Knowing Mark the way that she did now, she knew that was the real reason he went into plastics. He endured the cosmetic procedures so that he too could marvel in the non-elective, truly life-changing surgeries. As they scrubbed out, she studied the look of utter joy and triumph that she hadn't seen during their morning of rhinoplasties.
"Not just a pretty face," He joked, laughing a little at her expression. "Almost makes the nose jobs worthwhile, huh Grey?"
"It really does. Maybe Derek's was wrong." She quipped "Plastics is a real specialty." She giggled to herself as she left the scrub room to Mark's insistence that he was also an ENT and a god. She knew that Derek would get it in the neck next time the pair found each other, but it was totally worth it to stop Mark's ego inflating any further.
The surgical board boasted that Derek was in surgery for another half hour or so, so she decided to listen to her voicemail. Derek would only stop her if he was there and worry that Thatcher was upsetting her or raising her blood pressure. They were barely pregnant and he was already worrying excessively. God only knew what he'd be like in the delivery room while she was screaming, her feet in the stirrups pushing their child out of her body. The first few messages were nothing alarming:
"Hi Meredith, its da- I mean, it's Thatcher. Could you possibly give me a call when you get this message? Okay, so thank you. Er, goodbye."
"Hi Meredith, I tried calling you earlier, but I expect you're busy. I'll try again later."
"Meredith, me again, I'd really like to talk to you so if you can call me back."
"I don't know if you're in surgery or just screening your calls, but I am only doing as you said I could. Could you please call me back?"
The messages continued in the same manner, Thatcher clearly more and more annoyed as time went on. His final message was just minutes before.
"Meredith," Thatcher spat. "You made me a promise. You painted a picture of all the lives I've hurt with my drinking, and you said that you'll help, but where are you Meredith, where are you when you're finally needed?"
She frowned a little at that, he knew when she was working her time was far from her own. She checked the time, Derek wouldn't be much longer, and maybe talking to him about what to do would be a good thing. He had been so supportive this far. She smiled as she saw him coming towards her, scrub cap in hand, a faint smile that said he'd had a successful surgery. She felt her phone vibrate and glanced down at the screen. Thatcher. Well whatever he had to say, Derek would be there to hear it, to help if she needed it.
"Hello," She answered the call, her brow furrowing as she heard the ragged breathing at the other end of the line.
"Hello," she repeated frowning as she began to pull the phone from her ear and hang up only for a voice to echo from the other end.
"I can't hurt her anymore Meredith. I can't keep forcing her to deal with me. I need help Meredith. Susan would be so mad at me, I can't have that. Take me to Everdale or anywhere. Take me to rehab." Meredith breathed a sigh of relief at his finally admitting he needed help. Derek reached her side as one relief filled tear rolled down her cheek.
"I'm on my way." She croaked before hanging up. She had her future with Derek and the baby. It was time to help Lexie and Thatcher get theirs back. She looked up at her fiancé. "He finally agreed to go." She informed him, more tears flowing now.
The relief in his fiancée's eyes sent a wave of emotion through Derek. He got straight on the phone to see which facilities had spaces that evening. Finally settling on Everdale as Thatcher had suggested. Meredith paged Lexie and the three drove to Thatcher's house where he already had a bag packed. The sorrowful look in his eyes and the sad silence that filled the car spoke volumes about how serious he was about getting better this time. It seemed that Meredith's words had finally made him realise that he wasn't alone, in life or in grief, and he could get through this without alcohol.
There were many tears as Thatcher walked away from the three of them and into the facility, his first step towards the rest of his life. Lexie was solemn for much of the ride home, toying with the fact that Meredith had encouraged her father to leave, but also that he would get the help he needed, and start to become more of a father and less of an obligation. She traced the raindrops down the window, unaware that Meredith was watching her in the mirror.
"He'll be okay you know. He seemed serious about his recovery this time, and anything that isn't covered by his insurance I can pay for with my mother's estate and we can work out the rest later." The sigh that emanated from her sister implied that she was far from convinced on the matter.
"And hey maybe he'll be out in time to see you go down the aisle in your bridesmaid dress." Lexie's eyes widened as she listened to Meredith.
"Wait, are you serious?" Lexie looked at Derek in the interior mirror, seeing the grin on his face that confirmed it for her.
"Of course I am, the wedding wouldn't be complete if my baby sister weren't up there with us. Just don't tell Cristina that I asked you before I asked her to be maid of honour." She giggled. "All the tequila in the world wouldn't make up for that." Derek smiled at the two of them. He couldn't be happier that their relationship hadn't been affected by their father's issues. Lexie was happily freaking out in a way that screamed Meredith, while the mother of his child's giggle filled the car.
"You know you really are the best sister ever." Lexie remarked as she attempted to hug both Meredith and the seat in front her. And for the first time since she met the brunette, Meredith actually started to believe her.
A/N- Reviews make me very happy. I promise the next part won't be long xxx