A/N: I'm really, really sorry this update took so long! I had to do another complete rewrite. Hopefully it was worth the wait!
Daughter of My Heart, Chapter Fifteen
[Set following Beneath the Surface]
Cassandra hadn't seen her parents in weeks.
At first Janet wouldn't say why, but the teen had eventually convinced the doctor that she deserved to know something, classified or not. All Janet would say was that they were MIA, but that there were teams out looking for them.
Then Cassandra had been farmed out to the General's daughter's house, while Janet herself went out to look, as if that didn't send up all sorts of red flags. Cassie had nearly paced a hole in the guest room floor before Hammond had shown up to tell her they'd all been found. Cassandra had actually wept with relief. But that wasn't the end to her worries.
Janet came back home, but without her Mom and Dad. "They've been through a lot," was all the doctor would say by way of explanation, and Cassandra had to content herself with more endless waiting.
As her exile continued, Cassandra took to writing. Returning to Janet's guest room every day after school, she launched herself wholeheartedly into the project Daniel had assigned, writing anything and everything she could remember about her own past. Cassie scribbled furiously into the evenings, finding herself more often than not alone while Janet worked late each night. She wrote about her parents, her siblings, her friends; everything she could remember of her life on Hanka.
It was slow going, but at least it kept her mind off everything else.
Sam paced her quarters, restless, agitated, frustrated beyond belief. They were all on medical stand-down, not allowed to work, but also not allowed to leave the base. Even with the memory stamp wearing off, Janet had voiced significant concerns over the toll it had taken on the team as a whole.
Sam couldn't even argue. She'd had a relationship with her commanding officer. A kissing, touching, allowed-to-feel-feelings, passionate relationship. She couldn't even look him in the eye, now that they were back.
And Daniel...Daniel wouldn't speak to either one of them, more withdrawn now than Karlan had ever been. Teal'c spent most of his free time in meditation with the archaeologist, trying to help him past whatever demons he still saw.
None of them spoke.
Janet put them all in counseling, but Sam couldn't see that it was doing any good. If anything, it was rubbing salt into wounds better left alone. None of them wanted to speak. None of them wanted to acknowledge what'd been done. So they were confined to the base until Mackenzie and Janet were satisfied there'd be no lasting effects.
Sam knew better. Too many certainties had been undone.
Nothing had been right since their last mission. More than their minds had been tampered with on P3R-118. Losing who they were, what they stood for...it had changed everything between them.
Daniel and Teal'c had been outsiders. Sam and Jack... Daniel cringed.
They were in love. Not that that should have come as a surprise. The alternate reality he'd visited had shown them engaged, after all. But still. After everything they'd been through together, he'd begun to hope...
It didn't matter. They were his best friends. If they were in love, he should be happy.
Only he really wasn't.
Jack tapped lightly on the door, his escort standing annoying close behind. Sam opened up, a sharp inhalation of breath greeting him as she realized who it was.
"Sir! I wasn't expecting..."
"At ease, Carter," he interrupted, still hating the 'sir' that'd grown up between them. Things had been so simple, for a while. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah. Sure," she said, stepping aside to allow him through. He shut the door behind him, the light shnick of the latch echoing loudly in the silence. Their guards could worry from the other side. He was getting tired of this charade.
"I want to be clear that everything we discuss in here is between us," he began "No ranks. No regulations."
She nodded her assent.
"Good. So, about what happened..."
"It wasn't us," she blurted. "I'd never..."
"Never, what, Carter?," he asked, a little peevishly. "Never have a life outside of work?"
She licked her lips, nervous. Jack sighed.
"Fer cryin' out loud," he muttered. "They're never going to let us back out there if we don't sort ourselves out here," he stressed. "We need to know where we stand."
"We left it in the room."
"Evidently not," he retorted. "Sam...you are the best officer I could ask for on my team. I can't stress that enough. But we need to be honest with ourselves here. This thing between us...Is it going to keep getting in the way?"
"I don't know."
"Then that's something we need to figure out," he said more gently.
"I don't want to leave SG-1," she stated firmly.
"And I don't want to lose you," he replied evenly. "But the whole pretending-like-nothing-ever-happened thing doesn't seem to work for us."
"Maybe we should go back to P3R-118 and ask them to mind-stamp us again," she replied mirthlessly.
"It didn't work last time," he answered softly. "And I think whatever we decide, it needs to come from us. No other considerations."
"Jack," she offered, a little uncomfortably. "You know it's not that simple. This isn't just about the Stargate program or our careers. There's Cassandra to take into account as well."
"Far be it for me to offer you any advice on parenting," he said, raising his hands in defense, "But it seems to me as if you're thinking of everyone else first, and yourself last. That's no way to live."
"Well, what do you want, Sir?," she asked, forgetting his cardinal rule. Inwardly, he sighed.
"Not important here," he replied. "What I want to know is what you want, Sam. Plain and simple."
"Have you been talking to Daniel and Janet?," she asked suspiciously.
"I never talk to the doc more than I have to, and Daniel is still pretty pissed at me, truth be told. I don't think he liked how close we got on 118."
"What?," she asked, startled. Jack smiled wanly.
"It wouldn't surprise me if every member of our team had at least some feelings for you," he answered candidly. "You're a remarkable person."
Sam shook her head, refusing to believe.
"Look, nothing has to be decided right now," Jack offered. "But if we ever want to get back to living our lives and doing our jobs, then we need to work this out." Sam nodded.
"I'll think about it," she said at last. Jack left.
Janet was absolutely fed up. Forget elephant in the room, SG-1 had a whole damn planet! They wouldn't cooperate individually, they wouldn't cooperate as a group...It was time to clear the air, whether they wanted to or not.
"Where's Dr. Mackenzie?," Daniel asked, stepping dolefully inside the small room.
"Otherwise occupied," came Janet's easy reply.
"Are we not to receive our counseling?," Teal'c inquired.
"Not in the usual sense," the doctor replied.
"You're not going to stab us full of drugs to make us talk, are you?," Jack grumped suspiciously.
"The thought has crossed my mind, but no," she answered firmly.
"Janet," Sam began, but the doctor held up a hand to stop her.
"I understand that what you've all been through was something of a trauma," the doctor began. "I also understand that you may be feeling a lingering sense if guilt or embarrassment over some of the things that happened down on that planet, but I don't need to hear it. In fact, I don't want to hear it," she said. "But something needs to be said. So I suggest you work it out amongst yourselves. Today," she added, opening the door.
"You can't just lock us in here!," the Colonel protested.
"If you won't talk to me and you won't talk to Mackenzie," she said, facing him down, "Then you'd better believe I'll do everything in my power to make sure you talk to each other. This is the last straw before General Hammond pulls the four of you off active duty once and for all," she added menacingly.
And with that, she stepped out into the hall, locking the door behind her.
Their protests were loud and clear from the other side, but she didn't care anymore. Enough was enough. It was time for SG-1 to move past this mess and move on.
She only hoped they wouldn't call her bluff before making some sort of amends.