Anna laid back on the bed, setting her cell phone on the nightstand. She squeezed his pillow tightly up against her face, breathing in his scent and then rolled over still clinging to it. His voice from the call moments earlier was still floating around her.
"This is torture," she whispered. "Pure torture."
She closed her eyes, picturing him in his uniform at the funeral months ago as he walked toward her. He'd swept her off her feet that day and didn't even know it. It was so unexpected and she could still feel the attraction that she felt as he came and stood before her. Her hands were sweating and her heart pounded. She smiled, having felt that sensation several times where he was concerned since that day. She felt it now and he was hundreds of miles away.
She heard the faint sounds coming from Jenny's room as her eyes flew open and she sat up. She heard the whimpering getting louder and quickly got up, hurrying down the hall and into her room just as the nightmare intensified.
"Jenny!" she said as she gently shook her. "Honey wake up."
"Get out!" Jenny screamed.
"Its Anna, Jenny," she said, lifting her up trying to wake her.
She wrapped her arms around her neck and held on as the crying began. She mumbled incoherently words that were justifiable to her but not to Anna.
Anna slid her onto her lap and rocked her back and forth. "Its ok now. It was just a bad dream." She could feel the sweat on the child's forehead as she rested against her.
"They were in the car," she whimpered, "and it was going under water," she sobbed. "They couldn't get out!" She closed her eyes tightly trying to ward off the sight of the two of them but couldn't shake the terrifying image of them banging on the windows as it filled with water.
"It was just a dream. It's all over now."
The rapid breathing eased some but the trembling continued. "I didn't know what to do," she cried. "They were going under water."
Anna stroked her hair, assuming the obvious from her previous dreams. "Its ok Jenny. Mommy and Daddy are safe in heaven now. It was just a dream."
She looked up at her with fresh tears. "It wasn't Mommy and Daddy," she cried. "It was Daddy and Steve."
Anna felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up over that chilling confession. She stared down at the little girl, repeating the words, 'It was just a dream' over and over to her, holding her close. She closed her eyes and took her own advice, telling herself it was only a dream.
She hoped those words brought as much comfort to Jenny as they were to her at that moment.
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Carrie held on to the side of the ship's ladder with one hand trying to get down to him even though the last steps were broken off from the crash. Steve lay only a few feet away from her on his side with his back to her. The fire crew sprayed down the wreckage with water as it rained over him and poured over the side of the boat where he had been standing and talking to Anna only a short time earlier.
The wrecked helicopter had taken off and was barely out in the open water when it began to experience engine failure, trying to make it back to the ship. The fact that it hadn't exploded on impact was nothing short of an experienced pilot, all credit going to him for keeping it under control until it was too late and having the skill to dump what fuel he could over the ocean.
She carefully stepped down into a puddle and made her way over to him followed by a nurse. She pushed away the broken windshield that had been torn away by the fire crew to get the deceased pilot and badly injured co-pilot out. It was then that they found Steve on the deck. One of them tore off his dog tags so they could make the ID incase the engine caught fire and burned him, not knowing if he were even dead or alive at that moment. He tucked it inside his protective suit before climbing out to alert the medics.
Carrie shuddered as she reached down, using the side of the wall to balance herself as she put her two fingers up against his neck. "Please," she prayed, touching his cool, wet skin and holding her breath.
"Carrie," Captain Hershey yelled to her from the upper deck as he looked down on the carnage below, "is he alive?" he asked worryingly, not able to tell from where he was, but if he had to guess, he'd say no.
"Yes!" she yelled, looking up. "Yes, but barely. Get my equipment down here!" She pushed a piece of metal away and found an open spot and knelt down next him as her nurse recovered the items being handed down.
Carrie reached back and took a neck brace from her nurse and carefully slipped it under Steve's neck and then fastened it in the front. She leaned forward and braced her hand just above his head, looking down at his face.
"Oh God Steve," she winced at the bloody mess, seeing several small cuts on his face and a gaping wound on his forehead just below the hairline that was gushing blood. His left eye was already swollen shut. She used a large piece of gauze to cover the cut as it quickly soaked up the blood, becoming thick with red almost instantly. "We need to get him out of here quickly!" she yelled back up to her Uncle.
"We're working on that," he replied, casting orders to his men in all directions.
She replaced the gauze and began to inspect the rest of him, starting with his chest to check his breathing when she saw his lips move and his eyes flutter open as she used yet another gauze to stop the red liquid from running over them.
"Steve," she said calmly, leaning down close to his face. "It's Carrie. Don't try to move."
He didn't speak but opened his eyes a little more and stared straight ahead, completely motionless.
Carrie feared the worst. "Steve!" She put her fingers back up against his throat searching for a pulse. She had to press hard in order to feel the faint beat. "Steve!" She bent over him snapping her fingers, "Hey, stay with me!" His eyes moved up toward her voice and then closed.
The pain in his back was unbearable. He wanted to tell her but couldn't find the strength to speak. He didn't want to move and prayed that she wouldn't move him either. The cool water that had been flowing over him had actually been a comfort, but now that it stopped the pain set in.
The numbness in his hands frightened him even more, concerned whether or not they were still attached. It had all happened so fast and the last thing he did remember was the natural instinct to put his hands up to push away the object that was falling on him.
He heard Carrie's voice again amongst the ringing and chaos in his head and then felt a sharp pain his left thigh. Seconds later the pain stopped, a few more seconds passed and so did his concerns.
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He heard chatter and forced his eyes open, trying to focus on his surroundings, but only one eye would cooperate. The images were blurred as he tried to pick Anna out of the crowd as they hovered around him in what felt like a confined space. He waited for the pain to return but felt nothing but the gentle vibrating that was coming from the bed he was lying in. He'd experienced that motion before but couldn't recall from where at that second, not really caring to dwell on it any further, his mind became preoccupied by a different motion.
He felt a hand rest on his forehead and then glide gently back over his hair. He recognized that touch and knew Anna was there with him. He went to reach out for her but couldn't get the feel of his hands, fearing again that they were gone. His heart rate accelerated and the commotion around him did as well. Moments later he felt the gentle motion of her hand again and the sweet sound of her voice reassuring him everything was just fine. It calmed him almost instantly. He was beyond relieved that she was there with him.
Carrie reached over his head as the alarm on the heart monitor warned them of a quick change in his rhythm. She twisted the small nozzle on the IV hose, opening it up for more fluid and medicine to be disbursed. She was trying to keep him as comfortable as possible during the helicopter ride from the ship back to the base. She put her hand on his forehead again just above the gauze bandage and ran it over his hair. "It's ok Steve, everything is fine. We're almost there."
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Anna clutched Danny's hand as they stood next to each other just outside the gate that separated them from the military runway. Chin and Kono to their right. The tension in the air was thick as all four of them waited nervously for his return. An ambulance was parked a few feet away ready to transport him to the hospital.
They could see a large red cross on the bottom of an approaching helicopter, knowing that was Steve.
She tried her best to be strong and ward off the relentless tears, keeping only positive thoughts in her head.
Danny looked over at her as it landed, seeing the fear on her face that was justified as she stared straight ahead, fixated on the helicopter that was carrying him.
He'd only told her what they had told him and none of it was good, both of them hoping the extent of his injuries sounded worse than they actually were.
The door came open and two men came out dressed in flight suits. They stood on either side of the door guiding the stretcher out as a woman in green fatigues followed behind it, holding up an IV bag and then hung it on the pole that was attached to the stretcher.
Anna let go of Danny and took a step in their direction, pausing for only a second before she went through the gate needing to get to him. A guard quickly apprehended her, grabbing her by the arm.
Danny and Chin both yelled out for him to get his hands off of her as they went to her defense.
Carrie looked ahead at the commotion as the woman struggled with the guard. She took the picture from her pocket that had fallen out of Steve's as they cut away his clothes. She knew it had to be the same woman that was in the photo posing on the bed, his fiancée'.
"Hey!" Carrie yelled out to the guard as they quickly approached the awaiting ambulance, "It's ok Corporal, let her through."
He looked over, seeing her rank and quickly did as he was told. "Yes, ma'am," he replied obediently, followed with a salute.
The drivers of the ambulance opened the back getting ready to load him when Carrie put her hand up, telling them to wait a second. She watched as Anna cautiously made her way over to them, her frightened eyes fixated on the stretcher.
She could see the IV and two other bags hanging over the side, one was half filled with a light yellow liquid that had spots of blood in it. She knew that awful looking fluid was draining from Steve. It was shocking to see, but as she came around the front and saw the man lying there her shock turned to horror. She gasped, putting her hands over her mouth at the sight of him, not knowing what to expect when she did see him but at least she was sure she would recognize him. If the tattoos on his arms weren't visible she would have argued his identity.
Her eyes instantly filled with tears. "Oh my god, Steve," she moaned reaching down as her hand shook, trying to find a place on his body that wasn't bruised or covered with bandages. She pulled her hand back and leaned over as several tears dripped onto him while she kissed his lips.
"I'm here with you," she whispered to him. "You're home now, you're safe. I'll take care of you. I love you so much." She looked up feeling a hand on her shoulder, seeing Carrie through her blurred tears.
"We're taking him to Queen's," she said to her and then looked up at Danny for clarification, seeing the stunned look in Anna's eyes, not sure if she even heard her.
Danny nodded his understanding, but was just as stunned over the condition of his partner and best friend as Ana was. "Ok," he verbally acknowledged her, taking a hold of Anna's arm and gently pulling her away. "Anna come with me," he explained as he tried to separate her from Steve, "we'll be right behind them, ok."
"No," she yanked her arm away, "I have to stay with him," she cried. "I have to stay with him. Please!" she begged, looking from Danny to Carrie, pleading with her.
Carrie held her hand up, not able to tell her no, seeing the desperation in her voice and on her face. "It's ok. We'll make room for her."
"Thank you," she said, following behind them as they loaded him into the back of the ambulance. Once inside she sat down on the bench seat next to him, putting a hand on his bare shoulder that had scrape marks on it. His hands were both bound in thick white bandages. "Is he going to be all right?" she asked, her voice expressing the same fear as her expression.
Carrie smiled over at her. "He's tough as nails, but you probably already know that. He had some internal bleeding but I think I got that under control back on the ship." She pointed at the bag with the yellow liquid, "The leakage you see there, that's coming from his lungs, but even that has slowed and his breathing is shallow but deep since we took off over two hours ago." She reached over gently patting her hand. "He's healing as we speak. Like I said, he's tough as nails. You should see the helicopter that hit him, it didn't fair as well," she grinned, trying to ease her some.
Anna smiled and laughed through fresh tears. "He is strong," she said as if that was the gospel truth. "He can fight through anything." She put her hand on his head, stroking him, "He's going to be just fine."
Carrie nodded, "See, you do know him." She reached in her pocket and took out the photo. "Here, this fell out of his pocket when we were getting his clothes off. I think he'll want this back. I'm pretty positive he'll defiantly want this back," she corrected as Anna took it from her.
Anna blushed when she saw what it was, laying it upside down on her leg. "He said he kept it in his pocket," she smiled down at him with her hand still on him. "I didn't think he was serious."
"He was serious. He was serious about you and the kids too. We talked about it and he showed me pictures on his phone of the three of you." She recalled his enthusiasm as he described each one of them. "I've never seen him happier than he was when he talked about the three of you."
Anna looked up at her as fresh tears welled in her eyes. "We're getting married."
Carrie nodded, "He told me that too. He missed you."
Those words were comforting to her at the moment. She looked down at him as he lay there unconscious. She could see the man she fell in love with more clearly now through the devastation; being reminded just how much they did love each other. She would get him through this no matter what, knowing he'd do the same for her.
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Steve slowly opened his eyes, steadily coming out of a three-day induced sleep. He looked around the room, confused at his whereabouts until he tried to lift his head. The pain that shot up his back was excruciating. He lay still again trying to take in shallow breathes as even that hurt. It seemed like every bone and muscle in his body was reacting negatively to the minor movement, punishing him for even attempting it.
Anna sat up in the chair across from his bed, hearing the change in his breathing. She went to his side instantly seeing the pain in his eyes through the black and blue that had settled in after the swelling had gone down. She picked up the white cord that was attached to the IV inserted into his arm and pushed the button on it as instructed by the nurses. She looked above his head as the monitor displayed the extra amount of medication that was being disbursed and when either she or the machine would allow the next dose.
She looked down at him and smiled as the painful expression eased with every second that ticked by. "Does that feel better?" she asked him, knowing he probably wouldn't respond. It was the third time he'd awoken in the last two days and the third time she'd used the button to relive his pain. "You can go back to sleep now," she said leaning over and kissing him. "I love you."
He stared up at her blurry image, assured that it was the sound of her comforting voice that was the cure for his suffering and not the medication. The kiss made him feel as if he were floating off the bed as all those muscles and nerve endings tingled with pleasure rather than pain. He blinked repeatedly, trying to focus on the angelic apparition that was hovering over him, wanting to see her clearly. He felt the next wave of the medicine kick in as his eyes became heavy, not wanting to go to sleep but also knowing it was useless to fight it off.
"That's right," Anna smiled, gently gliding her hand up and down his arm. "Just go to sleep. All is well." She leaned down and kissed him again as his eyes closed for good.
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Danny came down the hallway as Anna came through the front door of her house.
"Hey," he said, wiping his hands off on a towel. "I didn't know you were coming home this morning." His surprise quickly changed to concern. "Is everything ok?"
"Yes," Anna smiled, running her hand through her hair that was in need of a wash. "He had to go for an MRI so I thought I'd take this time to come home and see the kids before school and clean up."
Danny nodded, relieved over that news. "Well I just whipped up a batch of Danno's famous Jersey cheesy eggs, so come in and eat first. We need to talk about a couple of things."
"Is everything ok here?" she asked, following him back into the kitchen. "I'm sorry I haven't been more available Danny. I think maybe you should go tonight and I'll stay home."
Danny looked over his shoulder and scuffed at that remark. "Please! Steve is like my brother, and I can say without a doubt that when he wakes up he would much rather see your face than mine. And everything is fine here…" he scooped up some food on a plate for her. "Except for one thing."
Anna sat down feeling slightly guilty for spending so much time away from the kids and keeping them in the dark about the extent of Steve's injuries. "What? What happened?"
"Anna," Eric said as he came in the kitchen. "When did you get home?"
"Good morning," she said cheerfully, but it was impossible to hide the stress and weariness on her face. She had the same clothes on that she did the last time she saw him two days before.
"Are you going back to the hospital?" he asked.
"Yes. After I shower and clean up."
"I'm going with you," he said as if it were already decided.
She looked over at Danny as he pointed the spatula in his hand at him. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. He wants to see Steve. They both do."
"I'm going," Eric replied adamantly.
"Honey," Anna began in a passive voice when he jumped in.
Eric understood the tone as a verbal no before she even said it. "I'm going!" he argued. "I don't care what you say."
She looked over at Danny again for help but he just shrugged, it was obvious he was on Eric's side. "He wants to see him."
She shook her head, picturing Steve in the bed with tubes coming out of him and his face still bruised and battered, not to mention what lied beneath the covers. "You and Jenny should wait a little longer until he's better." She was afraid the condition he was in would frighten them, especially after the ordeal with their parents.
"I'm not a little kid like Jenny," he said angrily. "He's my friend and I'm going."
She was caught off guard by his adamant reply, knowing if she didn't take him that he'd probably try to get there on his own somehow, that's how determined he sounded. She began to think that maybe it frightened them more by keeping them away.
"Ok," she caved. "You can come back with me."
"Jenny wants to go too," he said. "She asked me last night if he was going to die."
Anna gasped, putting her hand over her heart. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry Eric for not being here." She felt the guilt ten fold. "He just doesn't look like the person you know and I wasn't sure if it was good for you two see him right now."
Eric winced over that but still held his ground. "I don't care. We want to go."
She nodded her understanding, knowing they just loved him as much as she did and were probably just as worried, cursing herself for being so selfish in thinking keeping them away was the best thing. "Ok. I'll take you both back with me."
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Jenny gripped Anna's hand tightly as she slowly opened the door to Steve's room. They had moved him out of intensive care and down graded him from critical to serious condition that morning, which the doctor claimed was excellent news and he was more than pleased over his recovery so far. The only issue that concerned him now was his injured back. He had two slipped disks that were going to cause him a great deal of pain and discomfort until they healed and he was strong enough to begin physical therapy, until then the only relief was going to be the pain medication, which was being distributed on a semi hourly rate depending on the his discomfort level. He allowed the nurses to show Anna how to disburse an extra low amount if Steve awoke in pain.
Jenny squeezed the picture she'd made for him, crumpling the edges in her fist. The room was quiet except for a steady humming sound coming from the machines that fed him intravenously. She and Eric both hovered close on either side of Anna as they approached the bed.
Jenny stopped, too frightened to go any closer, seeing already the wounds on him. But Eric didn't hold back, he continued on until he was standing next to him. He winced at the sight of the man whom he held in such high regard. He never thought he could ever Steve as anything but strong and resilient, but the person lying there was helpless. His eyes scanned the face that he barely recognized under the growing beard and bandage on his forehead that covered the thirty-two stitches, or the black and blue eyes that were actually black and blue, never really believing that quote until seeing it for the first time so blatantly. He scanned down his body seeing the cloth casts on his hands.
He looked back at Anna. "What happened to his hands?"
"He didn't break his arms or wrists but he did break two fingers on his left hand and three on his right," she explained. "When the helicopter came down on him, he put his hands up to protect himself." She exaggerated his efforts to remind them who was lying there. "He so strong he must have been like Superman pushing that helicopter away." She looked down as Jenny smiled over that comparison.
Eric did the same looking back at him. "Is anything else wrong with him?"
She came closer as Jenny stayed back. "He had an operation and they took out his spleen, but its ok," she quickly informed him, "because you can still live a normal life without one. He hurt his back really bad though. It's going to be a while before he is up and around like he used to be."
Eric nodded his understanding, glancing back at his face again. Just like Anna had, he saw through the injuries to the man who had stepped into the role as Father when he needed one the most. He reached down and gently rested his hand on Steve's arm, looking back at his little sister.
"Come here Jenny," he said to her. "There's nothing to be afraid of." He held his other hand out to her as she slowly walked toward him. "It might look scary at first, but its just Steve laying here and I think it will make him feel better if you were here too."
She came and stood next to him as he lifted her up under the arms so she could see him more clearly.
She held onto the rails of the bed as Anna scooted a chair up so she could stand on it. She stared down at him feeling every bit of his pain as her compassion for his injuries showed all over her face. "Does it hurt?" she asked, her bottom lip quivering.
Anna pointed to the IV, "Do you see that tube that is going into his arm?"
Jenny nodded.
"That gives him medicine to make the pain go away. It also gives him medicine like vitamins to make him healthier." She tried to explain the best she could with the knowledge she had to where a five year old would understand.
"Did he bump his head?" she asked of the bandage.
"Yes. He has stitches under there so they have to keep it covered to keep it clean."
She seemed satisfied by that. "When will he wake up?"
"I don't know. He's very tired and needs rest to get better."
"Can I touch him?"
"Yes," Anna replied, "but be very gentle."
She leaned over the railing and very softly touched his arm where the bandages on his hand ended. "I made you a picture," she whispered to him. "We're eating ice cream like that time we had some at the beach," she explained. She lifted it up with her other hand, showing him. "I'll put it somewhere where you can see it." She looked over her shoulder at Anna. "Can I hang it up so when he wakes up he can see it?"
She smiled, "Yes. I think he would like that very much."
She smiled over that. "I don't think he looks scary," Jenny confessed. She looked over at Eric. "I bet he lifted up that helicopter all by himself and moved it away."
Eric nodded, but knew that was impossible. He was just beyond relieved that he had survived at all. Just the thought of losing either he or Anna was frightening beyond words, recalling the panic that he felt when she told him the news to begin with. It almost made him vomit. "Don't worry Jenny," he said to her. "I bet in two weeks he'll be throwing you up in the air again into the water."
She smiled brightly over that. "And he promised to take you on your camping trip too," she reminded him, "and he never breaks a promise."
Anna stood behind them looking down at him, not feeling the same outlook as they did. She knew it was going to be a long road back and not nearly the two weeks that they had predicted, but she also knew that if anyone could come out of this unscathed it was Steve. He'd need her now more than ever. She looked at the two kids as they hovered over him, talking back and forth about all the things they would do when he was better. She realized just then it wasn't just her that he needed. She honestly felt that Jenny and Eric would be his strength to recovery more than anything else.
"You know what?" she said to the two of them.
They both looked over their shoulder at her.
"He's going to need our help getting better. All of us are going to have to be there for him."
Jenny nodded her head, "I can help take care of him. I can make him sandwiches and bring him orange juice. And I can take his temperature."
Anna smiled over the innocence but more so the eagerness she displayed to be apart of it.
"I can help too," Eric volunteered. "I know what that physical therapy is, its like working out. I can workout with him and help him get strong again."
She put her arms around both of them, "I think you're right Eric. I think he'll be up in no time and back to his old self."
The machine beeped as another dose of medication crawled through the tube and entered in his arm. He lay motionless as the pain medication did its job relieving him of any discomfort. He had no knowledge of the devoted people hovering over his bed, only the liquid substance that flowed through his body. To his subconscious mind, this was the only support he needed.