Anna took Steve's hand in hers as they left the hospital together. It was the happiest she could recall being in a long time. It had been a difficult month since the accident but she was ready to put it behind them and get on with their lives together. Her next order of business would be the wedding. She'd put aside any plans or ideas, using all her energy and time seeing to his needs as well the accommodations for his return home.
They decided that it would be best for him to stay at her house until he was back on his feet, or permanently reside there, deciding on the date of the wedding. They had yet to discuss any future plans as far as living arrangements, knowing how much he loved his house. With the money they got from selling her house, she thought, they could build on to his and make it what they wanted. Whatever the decision, she could have cared less either way, as long as she was with him.
She squeezed his hand smiling over at him, getting a smile back.
He felt like he was suffocating under the duress of leaving the hospital, having become dependent on the very place that he had considered a prison on most days. He tightened the grip on the bag in his right hand that carried a supply of Morphine in pill form that he was told would last two weeks. It was all he could think about at the moment as he walked toward the car with Anna, leaving behind the security of being able to have an endless supply of pain relief. He'd just taken two pills ten minutes prior, but felt nothing as he did when he was allowed to push the button. It wasn't satisfying the craving he had, wishing that would go away too. He refused to admit that he missed the rush and told himself it was the outcome of a pain free existence that he was going to miss, declaring the other would be like saying he had become dependent on the drug and that wasn't true, not even by a long shot, he thought stubbornly.
The grip on his other hand was the only thing he needed, he told himself. She would take care of the pain and any discomfort that came his way. He let go of her hand and put an arm over her shoulder as they took their time walking. She let him set the pace.
"So are you my nurse now?" he asked her.
She reached up taking ahold of his hand over her shoulder. The broken fingers had heeled, freeing them of the bandages. "Yes. I promise I'll take good care of you."
He pulled her closer with his arm, whispering in her ear. "I think I might be in need of a sponge bath."
She loved that line and especially the way it was delivered, feeling it all the way down to her toes. "You're in luck, that's my specialty."
Steve let out a pleasing moan over that reply, kissing her below the ear.
She giggled like a teenage girl as they stopped at the back of her SUV. She set her purse down on the bumper and started digging for her keys. She glanced up at him to say something but was taken back by the stare that made her whole body tremble with excitement. It had been too long since she'd felt it. What he could do to her with just a look, it was amazing.
He pinned her against the back of the car, not able to wait one more second to feel what he'd been missing, even if it was in the middle of a parking lot. "I can't wait to roll over tonight and feel you next to me, Anna. Sometimes I'd lie in that hospital bed and I'd just ache for you. I might never let you go."
Her want for him was off the charts. "Please don't. Don't ever let me go."
She barely got the words out before he kissed her.
It felt wonderful being in this place again. They both soaked it in as the kiss helped nourish the love that had sustained them through this ordeal. They could put it behind them now, tasting that first bit of freedom after being restrained in a place that hadn't allowed them the spontaneous physical relationship they had become accustom too.
She felt his hand slide down her body as he pulled away. Both his arms went around her as she did the same to him. They just stood there for a long time and hugged each other, knowing how close they came to never being in this place again, especially Anna. She wondered again for the thousandth time how she would ever live without him.
Steve looked over her shoulder at the small duffel bag filled with his things, staring at the pocket that held the medication. His body was currently feeding off the dose that had finally kicked in, but his mind was already preparing for the next supply, counting down the minutes as he stared at it, calculating the exact time when it suddenly dawned on him that he didn't have to wait. He'd become so mindset over the machine being his time clock and having to physically count down the minutes between doses, that the idea of just taking another pill ahead of schedule never occurred to him.
Anna pulled back away from him, putting a hand on his slightly bearded face. "We need to get you and a razor together soon," she chuckled, gently rubbing her fingers over it. "I love you, but I need to see that handsome face." She looked up at him as he continued to stare over her shoulder as if his mind were elsewhere. "Steve?"
He focused back on her, smiling at the vision as well as his newfound revelation. "What?"
"Can I shave you, or do you want to keep the beard going?"
His attention diverted from the pills, seeing only her at that second. "Let's go home Anna," he said instead. "Just take me home and you can do whatever you want with me." It wasn't said as a joke or a come on, he meant it wholeheartedly and she knew it.
She stood up on her toes and kissed him for it.
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Anna stood in the bathroom before him, slowly peeling her clothes off, beginning with her shirt and exposing her braless chest beneath it. He leaned back, bracing his hands on the counter watching her with great amusement.
She undid the buttons on her shorts next, grinning at him before she bent over, pushing them and her panties down until they dropped on the floor. She stood back up completely naked and stepped out of them, shoving them to the side.
They stared at one another with candid smiles until he broke free of it and scanned her body, admiring the work of art that had left him some nights dehydrated and weak. He reached out for her hand, holding it in his, toying with her fingers as he continued to take in all the beauty that had eluded him for the past month.
"You're even more perfect than I remembered." He locked eyes with her again as she came closer, taking the bottom of his shirt and carefully raising it over his head.
"Do you want to make love first or do you want to take a shower first?" she asked, pulling on the tie of his shorts.
"What do you think?" he replied, licking his lips as his hands began to explore her. "I might need a shower first but I need this more."
Anna gasped in a breath as his hand slid between her thighs and began to gently caress her.
He watched as her expression weakened, being completely taken in by what he was doing to her. He could feel what she was feeling even though neither of her hands was touching him at that moment. She kept her gaze locked on him as her hand slid down her own body over her breasts until they came to rest over his hand that was massaging her. It was one of the most erotic moments he'd ever experienced as his want for her shot through the roof.
His cupped the back of her neck, pulling her in as he devoured her lips with a kiss that spoke of his need for her.
They were both on the same page as the intensity of it increased full force. They switched positions and she was now against the counter, scooting back as she pushed the toiletry items out the way, some going gracefully while others landed on the floor and in the sink, neither one caring enough to break from the kiss that was only gaining momentum. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling down on his shorts at the same time.
He put an arm around her waist and slid her to the edge, which was the perfect height, wondering why they had never partaken in this place before. He felt her hands on him then in the most pleasing way as she guided them together.
Anna gasped as he slid into her, the sweet familiarity of him returning in one swift motion. It was all she could do not to scream out her pleasure over it.
He fell forward bracing his other hand on the mirror as the moment became torrid over their desire to get even closer to the other.
She gripped the side of the counter with one hand and the back of his neck with other as he tore into her over and over. She prayed his back would hold out because what he was doing to her at the moment she never wanted to end.
He only felt her and not once did he even consider the pain. The second dose of medication he'd taken and his adrenaline was taking care of any discomfort that might have arisen over their liaison. Even if he had felt it, the need for her still would have won the battle.
She felt light headed as the friction began to heat up from her insides, spreading through her at a pace like nothing she'd ever experienced before. It wasn't just the sexual act that was giving her this much pleasure, it was him; it was all because she loved him so much. It was all about him.
The gratifying sounds coming from her echoed throughout the bathroom as she let him know she was there. He'd come to love these moments, pleased that he could still make her climax with little effort on his part. It was a huge boost to his ego, reminding him once again that she loved him and their want for each other was equaled. Nothing had changed between them.
He pulled her to the edge and felt his turn fast approaching, leaning into her as she used her body the best she could to help him along. It was only seconds later that he succumbed to it. She pushed up on her hands as he lifted her just inches off the counter, holding her there until it was over.
She could feel his heart pounding against her chest as he leaned forward still using the mirror as a brace but feeling weak from the aftermath. His hand slid down until it came to rest on the counter behind her.
"Oh my god, Anna," he breathed heavily, resting his head on her shoulder.
She stroked the back of his neck, feeling a slight sweat build up from the intense workout he'd just performed. "Are you ok?" she asked concerned, but was sure his statement was made to comment on the experience and not from pain.
He slowly lifted his head until he could see her. Her face still flushed from her orgasm. In his opinion it's when she looked the most stunning. "Am I ok?" he questioned her question. "I'm face to face with a woman that is out of this world beautiful and yet she loves, me. What do you think?" he grinned.
Anna bit her bottom lip, blushing over his comment but feeling the pleasure of it all the way down to her toes. "I would say that you're ok."
He nodded, leaning in and kissing her. "I'm ok."
He backed away from her, taking her hand as he led them into the shower.
She slid her hands down his back as he turned the nozzle on, not sure she'd be able to peel her hands off of him the rest of the night. She shrieked at the feel of the cold water on her legs, hiding behind him for protection.
The second the water hit him he cringed, instantly reminded of the frightening memory of lying on the deck of the ship. The terror he had felt while the cool water from the firehouse sprayed over him came flooding back. He reached over and shut the water off as the ache in his back flared up. He braced a hand on the wall of the shower and reached behind trying to rub away the throbbing.
"What's wrong?" Anna asked. Her voice stressing her concern as it was clear he was dealing with something that was agonizing to him. "Is it your back?" She put her hands around him afraid he might collapse. "Steve!"
"My pills, Anna," he whispered as if in agony. "Get my pills."
She quickly moved out of the shower scanning the bathroom counter of the mess they had left behind. Her perfume and his cologne as well as toothbrushes and makeup were scattered. "Where are they?!" she asked frantically, knowing they had been there.
She'd watched him take another dose earlier trying not to be critical of it knowing he'd just had some before leaving the hospital as well, but her concern wasn't there this time. She saw him in pain and wanted nothing more than for it to end.
She dropped down on the floor on her hands and knees, searching through the mess and then saw them lying by the toilet.
She quickly crawled over and picked them up, cursing the childproof cap as she tried with shaky hands to get the top off.
She shook out two into her hand and stood up, going to him in the shower as he stood in the same position with a bead of sweat running down the side of his face. "Here," she said holding them out in her hand.
He looked down seeing them and almost instantly felt relief just over the thought of them.
He flipped his head back letting them slide down his dry throat as Anna handed him a cup of water from the glass that had survived the storm on the counter. He took a drink and handed it back to her.
She put a hand on his shoulder gently caressing him, "Are you ok? What can I do?"
The fear over his ordeal began to settle knowing there was no reason for it anymore, still the fact that it had come on so suddenly was alarming. He'd never experienced a panic attack before, assured that's what it was. He looked over at the concern all over Anna's face, trying to play down what had just happened. "I'm fine. I think my back is just punishing me for that stunt on the counter," he smiled.
Anna rested her forehead on his shoulder realizing that just because they were home from the hospital didn't mean he was better. "You scared me. It all came on so fast."
He reached up, slipping his hand inside her hair and kissing the top of her head. "Don't be scared. I'm fine. It was just a spasm, and those come on quick and hurt."
She looked up at him. "Is it gone already?"
He nodded.
She was relieved to hear that wondering if then the extra pills were necessary after all. There was no way they could have worked so quickly. She didn't question it though, trusting his instincts. The same she'd done while he was hooked up to the IV in the hospital. She never looked at the timing of his doses again, nor did she ask him. She had to trust him, the same as she did now.
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Steve lifted his hand and waved at Jenny and then he and Anna both laughed as they heard her happily scream his name from inside the school bus.
She pushed her way down the isle past fellow kindergarteners that exited on that same stop, trying to get out first. She jumped off the last step and began running to him, not knowing he was coming home. Anna had kept it a secret from she and Eric, wanting to surprise them.
"Steve!" she shouted again, slamming into his legs as Anna braced a hand on him.
"Careful Jenny," she laughed.
"It's ok," Steve said, putting both hands on her as she hugged him tightly around the waist. "This is the nicest greeting I've ever got."
"Are you home forever?" she asked looking up at him.
"Yep," he smiled, stroking her cheek. "Forever and ever. No more hospital."
She smiled brightly hugging him again. "I'm so happy!"
"Me too."
Anna didn't think she had ever seen him look more handsome than he did at that second. The pleasure over Jenny's excitement to see him was so crystal clear on him it almost made her cry. She stroked his back as he glanced over at her.
"I think your surprise idea worked well." He leaned over and kissed her cheek.
Jenny stepped back. "We have to have some'n special for dinner for your first time back."
"That's a great idea," Anna agreed.
Jenny took his hand as they started walking back to the house. "What do you want?" she asked him. "You get to choose."
"Hmmm, let's see. What do I want for my special dinner," he pondered. "I know!" he declared. "Liver and onions." He rubbed his belly, "I love liver and onions."
Jenny laughed, knowing he was just teasing her like he always did. "I don't know what that is but it sounds yucky!"
"It really is. Maybe you better choose then."
She squeezed his hand and did a small leap in the air. "Pancakes! We should have pancakes."
"For dinner?" Anna laughed.
"Yes!" Jenny said, looking up at Steve for approval.
"I think pancakes sound delicious." He in turn looked at Anna for the same approval, "Can we?"
She shrugged, "Whatever you two want."
Jenny and Steve looked at each other with big smiles, squeezing each other's hand.
Eric held the same excitement as they all three stood in the same spot as Jenny as he got off the bus an hour later.
He was more cautious with his greeting than Jenny as they hugged, but his excitement was the same. On the way back to the house they talked about the upcoming camping trip that was only a few weeks.
"Do you really think you'll be able to go for sure?" Eric asked, almost pleading for a yes.
"I don't see why not," Steve replied.
"Awesome!" Eric made a fist and pumped his arm. "We are going to have so much fun. I told all my friends that you were a real Navy Seal. They thought that it was so cool."
"Geez," Steve cringed, "I've got a lot to live up to, and it's a good thing you've been practicing your survival skills so you can back me up."
"We're going to have the best set up of all the campers."
"Heck ya," Steve agreed giving him a fist bump.
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Anna flipped the pancake in the pan and then took out the one next to it, placing it on a plate with the others. She picked it up and turned away from the stove setting it on the table. "Get 'em while they're hot," she said as Eric reached over with his fork and stabbed one, dropping it on his plate.
"Jenny, will you tell Steve dinner's ready."
"Steve!" Jenny yelled out. "Dinner's ready!"
Anna looked over her shoulder at her with an annoyed glance. "I could have done that. I meant go get him."
"Oh," she chuckled. "ok."
She slid off her chair and ran down the hall toward the stairs.
He heard his name being called but laid motionless in the bed, staring at the ceiling. His eyes fluttered close as he succumbed to the medication that he'd taken a few minutes before. The pain his back subsided and he felt in complete solitude with his surroundings, being in reminiscent of that wonderful rush that he would get after pushing the button. He'd found the magical dosage quantity that got him to that sweet spot. At the moment he was in heaven.
Jenny came in the bedroom and up to the bed. She saw that he was sleeping and knew that he had come up for a rest before dinner. Anna explained to she and Eric before she started cooking that he wasn't 100% better yet and that it might take some time before they saw the old Steve that they remembered from before. They both understood, knowing how badly he'd been hurt.
She touched him gently on the arm, "Steve," she whispered loudly wanting to wake him but not wanting to startle him either. "Steve, wake up," she shook his arm this time smiling as he slowly opened his eyes. "Anna said to tell you dinners ready."
He could smell the aroma of the food but didn't feel hungry even though he hadn't eaten since breakfast that morning. The medication clubbed his appetite, but in the hospital it was a known side effect and one the nurses took seriously, making him eat whether he was hungry or not.
He looked over at Jenny and smiled, feeling glad once again that he was home. "I sure missed you while I was in the hospital."
"I missed you too." She pulled on his arm, "But we made pancakes for your first night back. You have to come and eat."
He wanted to make her happy, but wanted to just lie there and enjoy the peaceful feeling too, but knew he had obligations to them downstairs. He had to learn to live with the side effects, slowly pushing himself up off the bed. "Ok," he held his hand out to her, "lead the way."
She gripped it, using her other hand to help him up, being reminded from Anna's conversation that he wasn't all better just yet. "We can walk slow if you want," she told him.
"Ok," he got up carefully, not wanting to stumble incase he felt dizzy and scare her. "Thank you sweetie," he took her hand as she guided him out the door and down the hall as if he were blind and fragile.
They came in the kitchen and he smiled at the breakfast items on the table even though it was past six o'clock in the evening. "Mmmm, this smells good," he spoke truthfully, but the appetite still eluded him.
Jenny pulled out the chair that had always been his since he'd begun to eat with them, each person having a designated spot at the table.
"Thank you miss," he winked at her, taking the seat and pushing her chair out that was next to his.
"Hungry?" Anna asked, glancing over her shoulder at him as she manned the pancakes.
"Yes." He looked at her for just a second and then focused on his plate as Jenny stabbed two pancakes just ahead of Eric and set them on his plate.
"You better hurry and eat because Eric is being a pig," Jenny said. "That's his second pancake."
"I'm hungry," he declared.
Steve watched with amusement as they bickered back and forth just like they always had, enjoying it, not realizing how much he'd missed it. He was so caught up in it that he didn't notice the lingering stare coming from Anna.
She knew the second she looked at him that he'd taken more. What was oblivious to the kids was obvious to her, seeing that glazed over look in his eyes so many times before in the hospital. She turned back around taking care of the stove telling herself once again to trust him. She thought about the attack in the shower earlier, wondering if it had happened again. She turned the stove off and picked up the fresh plate of pancakes and set them on the table taking the seat directly across from him at the square table.
"How are you feeling?" she asked him.
He looked up at her from pouring syrup on the plate and grinned. "Good."
"How's the back? Any pain since earlier?"
"Nope."
"None at all?"
"No." He reached over grabbing a sausage link off the plate, beating Eric to it. He quickly popped it in his mouth as everyone laughed, except for Anna.
She smiled acting as if she were apart of the joke but didn't understand why he took the extra medication if he didn't have the pain. It was his third dose already that day, having heard the doctor tell him one to two pills every eight hours.
He watched her pick at her food as she stared at it. He knew her well enough to know that her question was more inquisitive than anything else. She wasn't pleased with him and he knew why. He looked over at Jenny and Eric and knew this wasn't the time or the place to explain himself.
"Hey," he said to her as her eyes came up and met his. "It's good to be home." He meant every word of it, feeling guilty for making her feel even the slightest bit of unhappiness.
She smiled, holding his gaze seeing Steve the man she loved so much in front of her, but also remembering having conversations with her father when he was high, and when he wasn't. They were two different people.
She watched him talk causally with the kids, hoping she'd never have to witness that change in him.
Anna wiped down the inside of the sink after cleaning up dinner as the others sat in the family room watching a movie. She felt a presence behind her and turned her head just slightly seeing Steve standing behind her.
"Hi. How's the movie?"
"It's actually pretty good. I'm getting to like these Disney movies." He moved to the side of, her resting his hip against the counter. "You should be in there with us but somehow you seem very preoccupied with deep cleaning the kitchen. Do you need any help?"
She shook her head, "No. I'm done actually. Let's go watch." She barely gave him a second glance.
"Anna," he said, taking her by the elbow as she tried to make her escape, "communication, remember?"
She didn't want to be a nag about this, especially his first night back, but she also couldn't shake the fear of having to go through something like she did as a child. She wouldn't put Jenny and Eric through that. She told him in the beginning of their relationship that they were her first priority, no matter what. It scared her to death the thought of losing him, but it also frightened her what it would do to the rest of them. She stood in silence not sure how to broach this subject when he did it for her.
"You think I'm taking too much don't you?" He knew he didn't have to explain himself, she knew.
She looked up at him, surprised but pleased that he was making it so easy for her. "Yes. I do." She stood her ground looking directly at him.
He didn't want to hear it so bluntly put, hoping she'd be a little more flexible in her answer, maybe saying he should be more careful or that she was worried about him, he could have smoothed those answers over, but the way she was looking at him now, he understood there could only be one reply from him that would appease her. "Ok, I'll stick to the prescription."
That wasn't good enough. "I don't understand, if you are not in pain, why do you have to take them at all?"
"I'm not in pain because I am taking them."
She couldn't argue with that, and by no means did she want to witness what she did in the shower earlier. She saw his pain then, she'd seen it for the last month and it was enough to last her a lifetime. She didn't know where to go from here in her reply.
He saw the struggle over her fear of her childhood and where they were now. She didn't deserve this and he didn't want to be the culprit of her unhappiness. "I'll quit taking them all together then." It was an easy decision at the moment considering he was at the maximum dose at that second.
She was shocked over how easy he was willing to stop for her. It answered her question whether he was becoming dependent on them. "No," she recanted. "If you need them for the pain, then take them." She shook her head, beginning to second-guess herself as being paranoid. "I'm sorry, Steve. I don't want…"
"Stop," he interrupted her. "Don't apologize because you were worried about me." He moved in front of her, putting his hands on her waist. "Look at me, Anna." He waited until she did. "You mean more to me than anything else. I'll do whatever you want. Tell me…what do you want me to do?"
He was giving her control, showing her once again his lack of dependency. She put her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I don't want you to feel pain."
"And I don't want you to worry. So what's the happy medium?" He leaned back so he could see her face.
She looked into his eyes, not seeing what she had earlier. "I want you to follow the prescription and nothing more."
"Ok," he agreed without hesitation. He pulled her in, hugging her. "See how easy that was." He felt strong at the moment, not having any qualm about fulfilling her wish, even though in the back of his head he was calculating time for when the next dose according to the prescription bottle would be.
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He leaned back against the wall completely vertical, his gun held tightly in both hands up close to his face. He could feel the sweat run down the inside of his shirt as he tried to calm the adrenaline that was coursing through his body.
"Danny!" he shouted. "Chin! Kono!"
The silence was even more frightening than the darkness that was all around him. He switched the light on above the barrel of his gun, counting down with swift shallow breathes before quickly turning the corner as the gun in his hand led the way.
He was looking for someone that was a danger to all of them, but had no image in his dream of who they actually were, but they were there. He could feel him close by, keeping his finger on the trigger as he made his way down the dark hallway. The light flickered back and forth between the wood paneled walls that resembled an old farmhouse. With every step the fear grew inside of him until his hand shook, reaching up with his other to steady the weapon. He wanted to yell out for them again but was afraid, not wanting to hear the silence again.
The door to his right creaked as it slowly opened. He quickly turned in that direction, swinging his arm around to the where the sound came from, flashing his light over something inside. He came back to the object, letting the light fill the space in the corner of the room as his whole body retched over the sight of Chin sitting up with his head slightly to the side, one bullet in his brow. Kono lay at his feet, her eyes wide open, but lifeless.
"No!" He pulled the light away and fell against the door jam, "Oh god," he whimpered. "No, no."
The bile rose to his throat as he felt a cold breeze wisp past him in the darkness knowing the culprit was near. He heard the footsteps behind him in the hall and rolled his body around out the door, raising his gun and firing twice.
The light trail focused on Danny's face as he fell against the wall. His eyes filled with shock and pain as if asking him why.
Steve's eyes flew open as his body shuddered over the nightmare, gasping in the breath he'd been holding in his sleep. He scanned the dark room as if he were still dreaming while his mind tried to convince him otherwise. His other hand unsteadily reached over feeling for Anna. She stirred just slightly at the touch as he rested his hand on her thigh, letting the hysteria inside of him settle. He released the tight grip on the side of the bed and ran his hand over his forehead into his hair and then staring at his palm in shock, not able to see it but feeling the sweat that had come off of him.
He slowly pushed himself up and out of the bed, still feeling unsteady and traumatized by the dream. He made his way to the bathroom and closed the door, turning the light on seeing his reflection in the mirror. His eyes still showed the haunting look of what he had dreamt. He bent his head down over the sink and turned the water on, cupping his hands under it and splashing his face. He reached over for the towel next to him, accidently tipping his bottle of pills over. The childproof top that hadn't been securely replaced from his last dose just before bed came off and three pills tumbled out onto the counter.
He stared at them as the water continued to drip off his chin into the sink. He needed one, just one, to help ease him down from the nightmare that had left him tense and frightened. He mentally scanned his body for the pain in his back that would give him an excuse to take it, but there wasn't any.
Anna would be upset, he told himself. He closed his eyes, trying to recall the conversation but the gruesome sight of his bloodied partners was what he saw, wondering now if it wasn't he in the dream that killed all of them.
That thought startled him beyond words, reliving the fearful moment and then the shots that killed Danny, and the look on his partner's face over his mistake. It was a fear that lived inside every police officer whether you talked about it or not, it was there. His hands began to tremble as he reached over for the pills, finding that excuse, needing to relieve the tension. He put it in his mouth and swallowed it quickly. The mental relief was almost instantaneous but he knew only one would never sustain what he was trying to avoid and quickly grabbed the other two before he could talk himself out of it, bending over the faucet and drinking from the nozzle.
He'd done it and there was no hiding it from her now. How was he going to face her? He looked back up in the mirror at his reflection and his mind was reeling over how he would fix it. She would never understand what he was feeling. She was scared of the pills and he knew why, understanding that fear she harbored even though it had nothing to do with him. He agreed to follow the prescription only because he loved her and wanted nothing to do with being a part of that fear.
The words of wisdom that came to him were so vivid yet such a cliché that he never believed he could be a part of something so devious, but he had no other choice. He convinced himself that he was saving her from the fear and worry. Repeating the justification that would save them both.
'What she doesn't know won't hurt her.'
He'd fix the problem before she found out. All he had to do was replace the pills. It was as easy as that. Not considering it was a lie, it was for Anna's sake not his. He wouldn't let something like this come between them. He could fix it before she found out.