You are now Jonathan. You have decided to take the sweet spork you had to pay your life to get and make an awesome weapon. You look around for things to add in to the Alchmiter to make a good weapon. You eventually find yourself in the attic looking through old junk when you find it, the perfect thing. A speak-n-spell! But now you don't know what else to add in. Something to make it cooler in some way. Maybe if you could make it have a British accent!

You head down to the kitchen and have an idea, you fill a glass halfway with water and take your glasses to the Punch Designix. You mess around for a few minutes and make a monocle. Now everything is ready! You combine the three items in the Designix and take the totem you make with the card to the Alchemiter. You have made it, your master peice. One British, talking spork with an attitude, Sir Reginald of Zillywut!

"Hello master!" The spork happily cheers, "I am Sir Reginald of Zillywut, great knight, hero, and half fork!"

"You mean a spork?" You ask.

"The appropriate term is half-fork, I find the term spork offensive." Apparently spor- half-forks have their own derogatory terms.

"We are going to go kill shit together Reginald!"

"Good! Who is the enemy? What are theirs numbers? When do I get to kill things?" He is eager for blood!

"Our enemy, the black king and his army. Their numbers, unknown, but a lot. When do we start, now!" This is going to be fun! Oh, wait Skype call from...the guy who murdered you.

Skype Call:

BS - Hey, Jon what's up?

JC - Nothing, just giving a pep-talk to my "half-fork".

BS - Did I damage your head when I shot you?

JC - I am perfectly sane! Reginald is my new weapon! Don't judge him!

BS - And you named your weapon too, are you sure you're okay?

JC - I am perfectly fine! Stop doubting Reginald, can't you see you're hurting his feelings!

BS - No, I'm sorry I can't tell I'm hurting a spoon's feelings

JC - Is it so unreasonable to believe that someone could be having an intelligent conversation with utinsels!

BS - Yes.

JC - Here, just talk to him...

BS - There is not talking—

JC - Hello, there kind fello! I heard you would like to speak with me.

BS - Oh god dammit! He actually made a fucking talking spoon.

JC - I am no mere spoon! I am Sir Reginald of Zillywut! I am a great warrior known throughout the land, and I will have you know, I am half fork on my mother's side.

BS - I don't think spoons or forks have mothers.

JC - I will admit, I don't quite have actual parents, but I like to think it's on my mother's side.

BS - Okay, well talking spoons exempted from the dicussion, I need to speak with Jon.

JC - Very well sir. Master, he wishes to speak to you...see, I told you, talking spoon!

BS - With that dealt with, two things to tell you. One - sorry for murdering you, my bad. Two - Mark says he needs help with something on his planet, and the job sound like one that requires thieving expertise.

JC - What kind of job?

BS - Jailbreak from a maximum security prison with little to no background knowledge of the area.

JC - Ooo, the fun kind of jail break! I'm in!

BS - Good, because we need everyone for this job!

JC - So when does this mission take place?

BS - Cain says he needs a little bit more time to finish the plan, we should be ready for action in about two days. Until then, climb your Eccheladder, we all need to be at our strongest when we do this.

JC - Got it. Reginald and I will be ready!

BS - Well, good luck with that, I need to get to my quest bed.

JC - Wait what? How are you ready to God-tier already?

BS - I beat Duncan in a fight.

JC - You beat the guy who broke the leg of a Minotaur in one punch...in a fight?

BS - Yes.

JC - How?

BS - Bullets are still a thing. It turns out that when you start far away from each other, and you have a gun, it's pretty easy to beat a guy who punches people.

JC - Wow, fucking wow.

BS - Yeah, fucking bullets do things. Amazing, right?

JC - So you just shot your own brother?

BS - Relax! Two shots, one to the leg, one to the shoulder. He's healing at one of my planet's very advanced hospitals. Anyway, death. Gotta do it. Goodbye.

Skype Call End

Jail break eh? You like the sound of this. Why he needs everyone, you don't know. You feel Alex would probably rather burn the place to the ground then break into it. If you know your team, this jailbreak is going down the toilet fast.

"If you are done sir I think that our enemies deserve a right beating!" Reginald says.

"Yes, Reginald, we need to get moving."

"Are we going to slay things, oh I do quite love slaying things!"

"Yes we will get to slay things."

"Yes! I will prove the might of the great Half-Forks, or my name is not, Sir Reginald!"

END OF CHAPTER 16, BITCH!