"Why must you go?! And so soon after the last expedition returned?"

Evie balked, pacing back and forth in their small drawing room. Thorin was silently thankful they were not in a more public place, for the queen's outburst surely would have sparked whispers throughout the mountain.

"I know you would have me here, but it is important I take part in these scouting journeys."

"Why, Thorin? Why is it that you must go out so often and I am always to stay and take care of all our affairs in the mountain?"

The king's eyes were a startling shade of blue as he looked at her, surprise lining his stark features.

"Would you go in my stead?"

He asked her, as if it was a challenge. Evie's face set, her eyebrows knitting together in a sudden flush of anger.

"Yes."

It was a single syllable, yet its significance was enormous. The hobbit stood her ground; her feet set beneath her, and faced off against her brash husband.

"You? You would lead the excursions?"

He demanded, grinning spitefully. The king was right on the edge of laughter, but was trying to hold it back, as if for her sake. Evie hated him for the searing flash of a moment, and though she loathed herself for the sentiment, she couldn't deny it. He was being cruel and ignorant and small minded… There may have been some truth to his mocking, but it was a small truth and one Evie was prepared to defend herself against.

"I am a capable fighter, and I have led others before."

She returned, her grey eyes glimmering with resentment. Now Thorin did scoff at her, and Evie had to force herself to breathe.

"How dare you! You know I have experience fighting, and although I am no warrior I am more than able to hold my own against a foe. I have crossed Middle Earth and seen more than you can imagine and you have absolutely no right to belittle me in such a way."

Her words were daggers, each one striking at him as sharply as she could fashion them. Fury flushed her face, and her small fists balled up at her sides. Thorin may be inconsiderate, but he did not hold a cruel heart. His ill temper fizzled out at the realization of just how furious he had made his queen, and he tried to reverse his insults as quickly as he could.

"Evangeline, I know you are up to the task, I simply –"

"You are the one who gave me my best sword, if you recall. And do not dare mention that you have not seen me use it, for although I was injured in our journey it was from no carelessness of my own. True, my arm should have been faster to the blade, yet had I not been asleep and the goblin above me I would have killed him. I am not some great swordsman, and perhaps I am not suited to lead your little expedition, but you are never to shame me in such a way as to suggest that I am so wholly incapable or that I am any less than you or anyone else in this mountain for being a hobbit."

She took a breath, huffing out the venom of her rage and trying to calm herself. She had said all she felt she needed to, and now it was for him to express some sort of sincere regret and for her to be bitter for as long as it took to forgive him for his unkind words.

She was about to walk away when Thorin grabbed her by the arm, turning her into him. She struggled against the much stronger dwarf when he tried to kiss her, but his grip on her shoulders was too forceful and she could not push him away. His lips pressed against hers, and out of habit she almost gave into him, but then another rolling wave of rage took over at the thought of him trying to be tender to her after what he had said and she tried to wrench herself away –

"I love you, Evangeline Took. I am sorry for my foolish words."

There was a deep timbre to his voice, and the sound of it hovering in the small space between their faces was too familiar not to be calming. She tried to wash the resentment from her expression and accept his apology, but the action proved to be more difficult than she had hoped.

"It is easy for me to forget all the things you did in the time before you returned to me, and we do not often talk of those years.. You must admit it has been a long time since you have needed your sword, and the roads between here and the Shire are often unplagued by troubles, yet I must also agree that I misspoke and it was wrong to judge you falsely. You are an incredibly strong, obstinate Shireling, and the reason I prefer to have you here rather than out there is because you are so well loved by our people that I feel safe knowing you are here to rule when I go."

Evie's full lips twisted at his announcement, and though it was rife with compliments she still felt the sourness of her own containment. She did not want to be placed in a particular little box – even if it was such a prestigious and taxing title as the noble ruler. She wanted more, as she always had. The queen had recently realized that she missed her adventures across Middle Earth; the sun in the open sky above her, the hard ground beneath her, the past at her back and the entire world stretching out before her, full of untold possibilities… She never knew what each day would bring at Ered Luin, but it was nothing half so exciting as an adventure. Although she had pledged to put her adventuring days behind her at the time of their marriage, seeing Thorin go away so often beat at her spirit, bending it until she feared it might someday break.

She thought of her mother, her sweet, gentle mother, who had always been so sure of herself and what she wanted. Mary had made great sacrifices for the good of her family, so that they could live the lives they wanted at the enormous expense of her own happiness. Marigold Took had been noble and brave and selfless, and she had never left Tookbank. Yet as much as Evie wanted to emulate her mother's fortitude, her skill at healing, her quick wit and her caring, the queen was not her mother, nor could she be. She refused to wait patiently behind secure walls as her husband went out to see the world. She would not wait for him, sitting by a window with only a vase of flowers to keep her company as she wondered where he was or what he was doing or if he would ever return to her… No. That would not be her fate. She understood her own need for sacrifice for the good of her people, and the importance of doing her duty… But Evangeline Took was going to go mad if she did not leave these mountain halls soon and trade them for an open road.

"I… I need to go, Thorin. It doesn't have to be this, but it must be soon. It has been so many years since I left Ered Luin, save to go to the Shire, and those roads are all too familiar to me now. I need to walk on a path I don't know, to wake up and have no idea what the day will hold. I love you and I love Ered Luin but I need to go, just for a little while.."

She begged him, her grey eyes large and laced with the urgency of her entreaty. Thorin's calloused fingers brushed her cheek, descending until they relaxed at her chin. He kissed her forehead, his nose skipping past hers as he looked into her eyes.

"If that is what you need, we will see it done. Perhaps you and I could both go together, with just a few others… It has been so long since we have spent time alone together, away from other duties and obligations…"

Evie nodded, resting her forehead against his.

"That would be good. That.. That would be very good."

It had been such a long time since they had spent more than a few hours together at most, an entire week or two would be an adventure itself. Often the hobbit thought she did not know her husband as well as she used to, and their argument today had been proof enough. Maybe a journey through the foothills of the mountains, to places Evie had never been before and Thorin needed to look over, would be just what they needed. They could rediscover each other and take a crucial breath of fresh air, away from the ever present needs of their people. Surely Belinir could manage affairs in their absence, with Balin and Thorin's other advisers at his side. Surely…

Thorin's lips found hers again, and this time she kissed him back. This could be just what they needed.

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Evie cursed her own greediness, wondering to herself if there ever was a hobbit who had wished for more than the healer possessed. How could she possibly desire more, after she had already been given so much? She wanted for nothing – clothing, food, water (even in the drought, the queen would not have been the first to die of thirst). She had a husband who loved her dearly, when he was not distracted by the important matters which occupied most of his time. She had a dwarven sister who was kind and lively and treated her far better than the hobbit deserved, and so many loyal friends it was impossible not to feel fortunate. And yet…

And yet…

There was a sense of complacency in it all. Of normalcy. She took each day as it came, and sure enough her life was often made interesting by conflicts and issues among her people demanding a resolution, but even this did not quite break the quiet monotony. Evie wondered how the elves endured as they did, surviving the duldrums of life with the gift of immortality, equally a blessing and a curse. What was time, to them? The eternal, steady, ever present ticking of some great clock – never counting down or leading up to anything but merely tick-tocking away with that heavy burden of sameness. How could life be precious if it had no end? She could not fathom that existence… It would be a grand thing to feel secure that those she loved would live on forever, yet what was living without the glory of the changing seasons of one's lifetime?

Evie's spring had long since passed, and yet her lengthy summer was proving to be much more than lazy days spent basking in the sunlight. She had always thought she would be content here, in the Blue Mountains, with her dwarf king by her side.

And yet…

There it was again, that gnawing little doubt. It crippled her, even as she felt the corresponding guilt restricting her throat. This was her happy ending, wasn't it? The stories never went on past their climax, so how could she know? There was no record of what Beren and Luthien did with their gifted mortal lives. Did they too argue over the smallest things? Did they feel the heaviness of time tugging on them, dragging them down with the unavoidable, crushing weight of tedium? How did they learn to persevere in the face of that ultimate demon, complacency?

This journey, she thought, would help. As short as it may be, it held the promise of a small escape. Or a change of pace, at least. She would see her husband again for days in a row, and he would have no one to speak to but her and a few companions. They would have the time to get to know each other again, as they were now, stripped of duties and necessities and all those other weak excuses for not talking to each other or sharing themselves. It had grown harder and harder, of late, to speak to him… Sometimes when they did finally spend time with one another they found they had nothing to say. Evie decided it was quite possibly from having altogether too much to say that there was no way to begin it, to breach that terrible silence between them, but she could not be sure. It was true, she had burned her letter to him, and yet it seemed they both discarded opportunities for connection at every turn.

All she knew was that she missed her husband, and hoped very much that this small adventure would bring them together, and give her some much needed fresh air. Trees could grow on mountains, she had proved it, and yet they still needed sunlight to thrive.

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Evie was elated when she had finally worked it all out. She caught Thorin in a corridor on the way to a meeting of his council, pulling him aside just before he reached the door.

"We go to the old mountain settlements, as you said before. It will only take a few days to get there, and then we can explore the caverns for a few days more and return. We will only need a small escort – I was thinking wouldn't it be nice if we reprised our original company… Dwalin and Telchar could join us and then we would be four, which seems a good number for such a small journey."

Her grey eyes sparkled as she explained her plan, and assured him all the details had been arranged. Her husband nodded curtly, yet the hesitation in his eyes lit up a warning flame in her mind.

"What is it?"

She asked, trying to keep herself open to his grievances and not to dismiss them before they were heard.

"Telchar," the king replied, grimly. "Dwalin is a fine choice, and my usual companion on such travels, but I see no reason to unite our previous party when Telchar has proven he is incapable of even the simplest of tasks. I do not trust him."

Evie shook her head, her golden curls flopping indignantly around her shoulders.

"Telchar is a brave dwarf, Thorin. He made one mistake a very, very long time ago and you have never let him forget it. He would never do anything to put our lives in danger and, in fact, because of what happened before he is perhaps the most qualified choice. There would be no one more attentive on a watch than him, after the dangers we have faced before."

Thorin's hesitant sapphire eyes met her assertive silver ones, and he smiled, resigned.

"Very well, if you are so confident in him. Yet I would have him know that if you are endangered because of his actions, I will kill him myself."

Evie's eyes narrowed mockingly, but she took it as a jest.

"My king, how could he possibly fall asleep at the watch when he is surely more afraid of the dwarf he travels with than any beast which might attack in the night?"

She quipped, flashing him her most delicate smile then turning away with a presuming swish of her skirts and leaving him to his business.

"Dwarves…"

The hobbit cursed under her breath, shaking her head. Even after 30 years, their stubbornness still surprised her.

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Author's Note: I apologize for another long delay in updating you – work has been very chaotic lately and my life has been very busy so it has been hard to find the time to sit down and spend time in Eriador! But here is the latest installment, and the next should come before too long. For those of you wondering when things will improve for Evie and Thorin, I assure you it will be very soon! Things will turn around in the next few chapters, I promise! It is interesting to explore the highs and lows of a relationship, since, as this chapter mentions, we don't really get to see that in stories. We see couples falling in love but we rarely see them facing the challenges of every day life. Hopefully Evie and Thorin's lives are not too dull for you! There will be a little adventure right around the corner, in any case. I hope you are still reading and enjoying, and thank you so much for your time and your thoughts!