a/n: reference is Bleach Movie 3, or Fade to Black; kinda ooc

Rukia settles herself on a branch and looks out to the glow of the sunset and the red, blue, pink, purple. Nature nearly always surpasses her expectations when it came to beauty—a beauty in which she'd engross herself in for hours and never look away.

(that was her world when he was alive)

She crosses her arms and watches the sun settle down. Rukia watches in contemplative silence, traveling back to priceless past memories. Like always, she ends up remembering and reviving all of her memories whether she wanted to or not at this place.

(a moment where she allowed herself to break once in a while)

Night comes and engulfs her with it. She relaxes and stares up at the glowing moon, and the question lingering comes back stronger.

why wasn't I able to save him...

She lifts both of her hands and stares condescendingly at them, disgusted with how naive she had been back then, how she had let fear taken control over her own body.

(or, how she hadn't allowed herself to save Kaien-dono)

She crosses her arms tightly and wills herself to piece back together again.

When she had been saved by Ichigo (again), when she'd not only turned hollow and insane but also attacked him mercilessly, he had been able to save her by simply plunging a sword into her like what she had done the first time they'd met. When she remembers those moments, when she pieces her past with that moment—

She feels the tiniest, tiniest urge of jealousy and rage:

(of course she'd ignored the plague: avoiding it for so long that it never went away and would eventually swallow her whole)

-unfair that his sword (so full of fear) not only didn't kill or injure her, but also (a sword so clearly determined) saves her, with not one ounce of fear.

She remembers that the only time she's felt like that as well is the first time they'd met as well- so why. why?

(why could she not do the same for Kaien-dono, why was she not able to save him like Ichigo had done for her, like she'd done for Ichigo, just why why why—)

slap

Her cheeks throb as she slowly lets her hands drop, sweat dripping down the side of her face.

She inhales deeply, and exhales.

She stares up at the moon again and glowers at it. She absolutely despises it for letting her travel aimlessly in this abyss of weakness.

Rukia looks down and breathes slowly, willing herself to calm her rapidly beating heart, forcing the protective wall to come back that she always holds up. Once her heart rate slows, she jumps off the tree and stares down. She chuckles humorlessly.

This is where she had killed him. That moment of hell strikes out from her heart and replays before her eyes over, and over, and over: his warm blood flows down her sword and arms, his dead weight against her body, the blowing sensation that he was gone.

The treachery she had committed and the sin she would carry it forever, regardless if she died and was reborn anew. She'd always carry his heart with her (otherwise he would die permanently and that, that was just unthinkable).

(always)

Rukia turns and walks away, returning to Soul Society. Her expression does not change when she notes Ichigo's reiatsu is exactly where she's heading. Close enough, and she sees him: leaning against a tree with his arms behind his head. He opens an eye and looks at her unfazed expression, then he frowns and walks over.

"Was there really a need to hurt yourself?" Ichigo asks with annoyance (coating the worry up); he cradles her face and reminds himself to learn some healing kido.

She considers slapping his hand away, but knowing that this is him just worrying, she settles with a rebuke: "This isn't hurting fool, and it's just red because I fell for a moment."

Ichigo doesn't say anymore and instead just catches her sight, sending empathy in which only they can understand death and the pain of carrying it (though he doesn't know who it is or what happened or how and he thinks it's kind of unfair that she knows his part but-)

"I'll wait," he says, "since I owe you one."

Rukia smirks. "You've learned well, though I don't think you can wait long."

He scoffs. "Must you always ruin the moment?"

"Of course," she smiles, they'd always be there to carry each other's burdens, and that-

-that's more than enough.

Rukia's flash of gratitude disappears within the next as her hand punches his shoulder. "Don't be such a sap," she scolds gently, not knowing whether her words are directed it at herself or him.

"Who's the sap," Ichigo scowls as he winces and rubs his throbbing shoulder.

"You are, fool," Rukia rolls her eyes, "Why else would an overprotective idiot who can't hide his reiatsu follow me? Or, could you be here to kidnap me?"—she gasps dramatically and raises her hand to her mouth—"oh, Kurosaki-kun! I never knew that you could do such—!"

He swiftly picks her up over his shoulder in mid-sentence and lightly says with a tone of seriousness, "You're absolutely right."

She stills and relaxes in the next second.

"Idiot," she says quietly with an affectionate tone.

They walk in silence.

Omake

"Damn you Ichigo, put me down!" She swings her knee into his stomach just as he quickly blocks it and smirks at her fury—until she leans closer to his face with an icy glare. "Put. Me. Down."

After a long moment of glaring, he sighs, and let's her free herself and jump off. She lands and walks off to the Seireitei with such pride that only the Kuchiki could pull off. He laughs, she ignores him and walks faster. Mischief sprouts in his eyes, he matches his pace with hers within seconds. She walks faster, he walks faster; she shunpoes, he shunpoes-

-and thus starts the game of chase.

Byakuya glances at the window and arches his eyebrow as he watches his pride and Ichigo shunpo. His eyebrows furrow in confusion. He shut his eyes and abruptly turns away from it, resuming his work.

Of course the mongrel would bring back unwanted memories of that feline cat. He grips his brush tighter. Of course. He vigorously does the rest of his paper work.

He finishes it in less than an hour.

Yoruichi, perched on the balcony as a cat, observes the pair flash by her. Her eyes twinkle playfully as she rises and hops off towards the sixth division.

Needless to say, Byakuya is not pleased.

a/n: thx Loco, for the review