Disclaimer: The goblins have run off with the paperwork declaring I do not own X-Men: Evolution, Labyrinth, or any character other than my OCs! The goblins! The GOBLINS!
A/N: This play is dedicated to anyone born before 1990. Thank you!
And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present…
Labyrinth
Scene 2: Enter the Labyrinth
When everyone arrives, Taryn looks extremely distressed. She is squeaking about and bouncing around on her string.
"What's wrong with her?" Bobby asks from her special spot on Jubilee's shoulder.
Jean laughs. "Apparently, there were some barn owls that scared her during the night."
Taryn squeaks loudly.
"Oh, and some bats!" Jean starts laughing harder.
Scott shakes his head. "Taryn is terrified of bats."
"Bats? Oh, come on," Evan sighs. "If you have to be afraid of something, why not be afraid of something worthwhile?"
Lightning frowns at him. "Don't be so mean. Everyone is afraid of something."
"Oh really? Even Raven?" Kitty demands.
Lightning looks thoughtful. "The only thing Ravie is afraid of is sentinels – oh, and sandcastles."
"I am not afraid of sandcastles!" Raven growls at him. "They just give me nightmares." She adds a shudder. The cast and crew look vitally interested. "That story is not going to happen – ever. Let's get started! Lights! Camera! Action!"
Outside the window, the IAR Owl beats against the glass door, trying desperately to enter the dark room. Rogue looks around, scared stiff. The IAR Owl enters the room and flies into her face. She covers her head with her hands. Through the magic of Pietro, the IAR Owl is replaced with Remy. Rogue slowly looks at him. He stands before her in the doorway wearing a sparkling, black tunic and very tight tights. A sparkling, black cape flutters around him in the wind. His hair has been gelled into a mess of longish, drooping spikes. Against his will, he is wearing make-up. Pietro snaps a picture. Rogue's jaw drops. She had imagined him looking good in his costume, but this is beyond all belief. His red-on-black demon eyes twinkle with delight as he takes in her admiration. Raven clears her throat.
"Oh, right," Rogue says. "The play." Gambit grins. Raven glares. Rogue starts staring again. She brings her hands down slowly. "Ya'll're him, ain't ya? Ya'll're the Goblin King. Ah want my brotheh back, please, if it's all the same."
"What's said is said," Remy says.
"But – Ah didn't mean it!" Rogue insists.
"Oh, you didn't?"
"Please?"
"It's hard for Remy to deny his chere somet'in' she wants so much," Gambit catches a glance at his future-from-another-dimension-daughter and decides, "but for t'e sake of t'e play, he must."
Rogue glares at him. He is very likely to get the alligator thrown at his head again. "Where is he?"
"You know very well where he is," Remy tells her.
"Please brin' him back. Please," Rogue inserts a little quiver to her voice that so often works on Remy's heartstrings. He wants so badly to give her what she asks. He knows Raven would have his head, though. Her glowing, yellow eyes attest to that much.
"Anna… go back to your room… play wit' your toys and costumes. Forget about t'e baby."
"Ah can't," she says.
Remy tries changing the subject. "Remy's brought you a gift." He holds his hand up and a bubble-like crystal ball appears by way of Pietro.
Curiosity gets the better of her. "What is it?"
"It's a crystal." He starts waving his hand back and forth. The ball travels back and forth like magic. "Nothing more."
"How does he do that?" Ray asks. He finds himself against the brick wall, very sore.
"One of Rem's powers is natural dexterity," Rogue answers. "Makes him a betteh theif."
Raven puts her head in her hand. Lightning rubs her shoulder. "It will all be over soon."
"Fine. Let's keep this play moving! Back to work!"
Gambit has been rolling the ball the whole time. "But if you turn it t'is way… look into it… it'll show you your dreams. But t'is is not a gift for an ordinary girl who takes care of a screaming baby." He stops rolling the crystal and holds the ball up again. "Do you want it?" She looks at the ball, but makes no answer. He can see in her eyes that she does. "T'en forget t'e baby."
She shakes her head. "Ah can't. It isn't that Ah don't appreciate what ya'll're tryin' ta do fer me, but Ah want my brotheh back. He must be so scared."
"Anna," Remy interrupts her. Pietro switches the crystal with a rubber snake. Remy stretches it out. "Don't defy Remy." He throws the rubber snake at her neck. She cries out and grabs at it, but Pietro has swapped the snake for a scarf. She drops it as if it were on fire. Evan pulls the scarf off of his face and glares at her before running off laughing. Mastermind, Mesmero, and Calisto all pop out of hiding places and laugh as well. When Rogue looks back, they hide again. She gasps. "You're no match for Remy, Anna."
"But Ah have ta have my brotheh back," she insists.
He points out the window. "He's there, in Remy's castle." She walks out the window. Instead of the ordinary view of the dark yard and pouring rain, Rogue is greeted with a stunning sunrise over a huge painted scene of a castle, surrounded by a great and powerful labyrinth. (1) "Do you still want to look for him?"
They are no longer anywhere near her house. They are on a somewhat barren hill top. "Is that the castle beyond the Goblin City?"
Instead of answering her, Remy forewarns her. "Turn back, Anna. Turn back before it's too late."
"Ah can't," she says for the third time. "Don't ya understand that Ah can't?" She turns back to the maze.
"What a pity," Remy says walking up rather close to her.
"It doesn't look that far."
"It's further t'an you t'ink," Remy says, leaning over her shoulder and savoring her nearness. "Time is short." Somehow, a clock has appeared on a random tree. He points to it. "You have t'irteen hours in which to solve t'e labyrint'," here he starts walking backwords, "before your baby brother becomes one of us – forever." He and the clock seem to fade, but it is only a combination of Pietro and Forge's holograph projector. "Such a pity," he says into the microphone off-stage.
Rogue looks around, suddenly alone. She sighs a determined sigh. "The labyrinth. It doesn't look that hard. Well, come on, feet." She starts walking down the hill. The sun rises, brightening the world as she reaches a clearing and sees Scott standing near a little pond. He is wearing a crazy outfit and an awful brown cap. He is holding a plastic water gun. He appears to be peeing into the pond, but it's only the water gun. He's humming. "Excuse me?"
"Oh, uh, excuse me!" Scott says, pretending to zip his fly. He frowns. "Oh, it's you." He manages to sound deeply disappointed. He reaches down to pick up a strange looking contraption.
"Excuse me, but Ah have ta get through this labyrinth. Can ya help me?" she asks him. The normally uptight young man walks off. Tayrn is finally off her string. She glides with the help of Jean's telekinesis and smiles cheerfully as her little wings flutter. She is so happy, even at four inches tall and unable to communicate because she thinks she has a wonderful part. "Oh, how sweet," Rogue says when she sees her.
"Fifty-seven!" Scott says as he sprays her with something that smells terrible and just might be poison. Jean lets her go. She falls and breaks three bones in the process. He kicks dirt over her. Taryn throws up.
"How could ya?" Rogue gasps, running to her and picking her broken form up.
"Yeah," Scott mutters.
"Poor thin'," Rogue says. "You monster. Ow!" She drops Taryn harshly, which results in fifteen more broken bones. "It bit me!" Taryn squeaks piteously, trying to say she did no such thing, but no one can understand her and furthermore, no one cares.
Scott laughs and looks over his shoulder at Rogue. "What did you expect fairies to do?"
"Ah thought they did nice thin's, like, like grantin' wishes," she replies.
"Shows what you know, don't it?" Scott says, returning to his duty. "Fifty-eight," he says as he sprays an IAR Fairy, who falls bitterly to the ground with a squeak.
"Ya'll're horrible," Rogue says.
"Huh? No, I ain't. I'm Scottle, really? Scottle?" He looks over at the directors.
They both shrug. "Scott is not really a name people screw up," Lightning says.
He glares. "Who are you?"
"Anna."
"That's what I thought." He spots another IAR Fairy and sprays it. "Fifty-nine."
"Do ya'll know where the door ta the labyrinth is?" Rogue asks.
"Maybe," he says.
"Well, where is it?"
"Ooo, you little … sixty!" he says. He jumps up and down and laughs.
"I said, where is it?"
"Where is what?" Scott says nastily.
"The door."
"What door?"
"It's hopeless askin' ya anythin'."
"Not if you ask the right questions."
"How do Ah get into the labyrinth?"
"Aaah, now that's nore like it. You gets in there." He points and a door has magically appeared where there was no door. This is managed by a few complicated machines of Forge's and Pietro when the machines fail to work. The door opens by itself using Raven's telekinesis. "You, uh, really going in there, are you?"
"Yes," Rogue says. "Ah'm afraid Ah have ta." She walks through the door and glances around. The labyrinth looks straight as far as the eye can see on either side.
Scott startles her by creeping up behind her and saying, "Cozy, isn't it?" Rogue gasps. He laughs horridly and walks to the wall. "Now, would you go left or right?"
"They both look the same."
"Well, you're not gonna get very far."
"Which way would ya'll go?" she asks.
"Me? I wouldn't go either way."
"If that's all the help ya'll're gonna be, ya can just leave," she growls at him.
Scott starts walking off. "You know your problem? You take too many things for granted. Take this labyrinth, even if you get to the center, you'll never get out again."
"That's your opinion," Rogue says brightly.
"Well, it's a lot better than yours," Scott snaps as he walks through the doorway.
"Thanks for nothin', Scooterdinck." The entire cast and crew, minus Raven and Jean snicker. Scott rolls his eyes.
"OOH, it's Scottle! And don't say I didn't warn you." He stomps off, furious and waves to the doors. The doors, with Raven's help, slam loudly shut.
Rogue gasps and the noise and turns around to look. She starts walking down a path. The labyrinth is made of grayish-brown bricks. There are dead branches strewn about the pathway. The walls are covered, here and there, with a strange kind of IAR Lichen. It has eyes and makes a noise as it watches Rogue pass by. On and on she walks, past branches and over logs. She keeps looking around for changes, but never finding any. She starts to get frustrated. She notices everything is now covered in glitter. She walks faster. "What do they mean "labyrinth"? There ain't any turns or cornehs or anythin'? It just goes on and on." She stops and leans against the wall. "Maybe it doesn't. Maybe Ah'm just takin' it for granted that it does." She starts running down the path. She runs for quite a while, but gives up in frustration and bangs the walls.
"And cut!" Raven calls out.
"What is with all the glitteh?" Rogue says. "Ah mean, Ah know the set design calls for some, but this is ridiculous."
"Pietro got into it," Wanda says with a groan. "We tried to stop him, but you know my brother…"
"Oh… that explains it."
"Ah man!" Bobby whines. "It was almost my scene, and she cut it off!"
"Oh, shut up!" Lance says. "You're worse than Todd!" Toad looks rather smug.
"Take that back!" Bobby says.
"You want to start something?" Lance growls.
"How can I start anything?" Bobby asks. "I'm four inches tall!"
"Oh, right," Lance says.
"Ugh, he is, like, so dumb!" Kitty whines. "Why did I ever think he was cute?"
"I am cute!" Lance says.
"Right," Rogue says, rolling her eyes.
"Hey!" Lance snaps.
Just then, Remy walks out, still in his costume. "There's no competin' with that," Rogue informs Lance with a stupid grin on her face. She's not the only one staring at his – um, tights.
Lance glares.
Raven has missed all of this because she has been deeply in a conversation with Forge. "Okay, now's good."
Suddenly, a beam shoots out of the shrinking ray and hits Lance. He screams as he shrinks to about a foot high. "What's the deal?"
Raven shrugs. "It's necessary. Ready to go, Lawr?"
"Yup," he says. They are suddenly gone and we will leave too.
AN: (1) No, I do not own "The Wizard of Oz" either.
Sorry about the wait. This summer, a bunch of family decided it was the perfect time to visit! I will try to get a new chapter out for ASIR next week… hopefully! Oh, and you can all thank Person Who Loves This Parody for this update! She gave me the kick in the butt I needed to get it done. Otherwise, it definitely would not have been written this week. I have company, and I am behind in my school work. As it was, I stayed up 'til 1 in the morning writing this. So you all better review! XD
Next up, Bobby's scene… finally. And a bit more of Rogue wandering around lost! Joy of all Joys!