Drabble:139
The first time Dimitri and Rose went on a Court-sponsored-raid, he was quite surprised when Rose didn't want to spend some time with him before deployment. In fact, she didn't look once in his direction or approach him, except once, to wish a very impersonal good luck. No hugs, no kisses, even no entwining their fingers…things they usually did everyday whenever they set out for duty. He thought maybe it was an oversight on her part because it was her first raid as a guardian, and not just any guardian, but a Royal guardian, so she might have been-understandably-distracted.
When the raid was over, and they'd both returned safe and sound, with minimal injuries, she had fallen into his arms and refused to let go for at least half an hour afterwards. Not that he minded, because he wanted to feel her too, to take in her smell and sight and taste, to remember beauty and goodness….to forget the ugliness of the task he'd just performed…killing sentient beings, who in another life had been dhampir or moroi….
But when the exact thing happened at the next raid, he was…flabbergasted, to say the least. Rose again left without any semblance of goodbye, but upon returning to court had held onto him as if he was her very breath of life.
This pattern continued for a couple more raids, till Dimitri couldn't contain his curiosity any more. Over dinner before their next raid, after a very exhaustive training session, he outright asked her why she refused to so much as interact with him before going hunting.
Rose froze upon hearing his question and lifted her panic-filled eyes to meet his before she dropped her fork and leaned back in her chair. She stared at him for a few minutes before sighing raggedly and slumping her shoulders. Tracing the pattern of their kitchen curtains with her eyes, she replied in a low whisper, "Because I'm afraid"
Afraid? Her choice of words confounded Dimitri as much as her prior actions. "Afraid of what, Roza?", he asked her softly, with a concerned frown.
"Not of", she corrected. "For". Only then did Rose look at Dimitri as she completed her next sentence. "I'm afraid of losing you. Again"
"That's a risk we all have to bear, Roza", Dimitri said achingly. "But what does that have to do with your…aloofness?"
"Don't you remember, Dimitri?", she asked him in a harrowed, teary voice. "The last time I spent time with you before a raid, do you not remember what happened?"
Before Dimitri could even wonder what she was talking about, Rose continued. "It was the rescue mission at St Vladimir, Dimitri. They turned you! I lost you…and it was horrible! I can't bear if that happened again, I can't afford losing you again, and if staying away from you does the trick, then please Dimitri, let me be!"
By the time she finished, Rose had tears running down her face. Dimitri's heart ached for her and the hurt and anguish he had caused her and unable to help himself, he got up from his chair and walked over to her side and enveloped her in a tight hug and held her while she sobbed her fear and sorrow out.
Dimitri didn't say a word, not then and not before their next raid when she diligently avoided any contact with him. He knew Rose wasn't exactly superstitious, but he'd let her indulge in this little diversion, if it gave her peace of mind….if it brought him back to her, time after time.
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PS-Quite sometime back, I had read a VA fanfic on this site featuring a song called 'Nights in White Satin', but I forget the name of the story, so can any of you help me out here? Thanks!