This chapter is based on an old episode of The Andy Griffith Show, called Opie's Newspaper. We felt that the gentleness of that show fits in well with the world we've created for Anna, Mr Bates and their family. We hope you enjoy it and will leave a review. It makes our day. Handy & Terrie :)

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The Newspaper - Part 1

The previous night -

The small light illuminated John as Anna collapsed onto the bed next to him. She was clad in her nightgown, legs spread slightly and arms at her sides, staring at the ceiling. John, in the same position, was wearing only his underwear. He couldn't even be bothered to put on his pyjamas.

'Well, I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted,' Anna said.

'Me too,' John replied huskily. 'What a couple of days this has been. Aren't you going to pull the covers up?'

'Uh-uh. Too tired. You do it. Aren't you going to turn off the light?'

'Nope. I'm too tired to move. Thank God, Sarah & Caleb will be back tomorrow. We should probably pay them more than we do,' John considered.

'Hmm, makes me really appreciate all they do,' Anna agreed before rolling on her side to face him. She ran her palm over his bare chest and flopped her left leg over his. 'John, would you mind if we just held each other tonight? I...am...so...tired,' she dragged her words lazily.

Her husband turned to face her too, capturing her leg with his own and pulling her close. He chuckled, saying, 'What? Who is this woman who's crawled into bed with me? Surely, this can't be my lascivious wife? No, of course, I don't mind. I can barely move a muscle anyway.'

'Mmm... that's good because I can't either,' she cooed, burrowing her face into his chest.

They laid there for a couple of minutes, arms around each other and legs tangled, until Anna looked up at him, snickering. 'John Bates! I thought you were too tired to move a muscle.'

He returned her snicker with a lopsided, sleepy grin. 'Sorry love. He has a mind of his own, you know? I don't pretend to control him. Just ignore it and go to sleep. He's on his own tonight.'

'Well he's being very rude, I think,' Anna mumbled.

'I know, my darling. I'll give him a good talking to in the morning,' John promised.

But the object of their conversation was insisting on being heard. Anna pushed her knee gently against John's groin and moved her hand, intent on giving him a good shaking...just to teach him a lesson, mind you.

But John grabbed her hand, capturing it in the nick of time. 'Anna, please, don't encourage him. Now roll over and I'll spoon you and we can get some sleep.'

Anna did as she was told, saying with a giggle, 'Somehow I don't think that will help matters, John.' Then she backed up and wiggled her tempting bum right into him.

'Anna Bates, you tiny temptress.' He wrapped his arms lovingly around her and nuzzled into her neck. 'If we can't even get out of bed in the morning, I blame you.'

xxxx

Part 2 - Career Decisions

The next morning. 10:20 am

Will leaned against the side of his father's desk, a few sheets of paper in his hand and a pencil stuck behind his ear. He hadn't spoken yet, but John observed him from the corner of his eye. It was plain to see he had things on his mind.

'Something's troubling you, son?'

The boy heaved a big sigh, too big for one so young. 'I been thinkin', Daddy, about what I want to be when I'm a man.'

John watched as Will took the pencil from behind his ear and began drawing a ship being tossed on the waves.

He wasn't sure he knew where this conversation was going, but he knew it was serious business to his son. 'You want to be a seaman, like your granddad, I know. Look Will; you don't have to run the hotel like I do. It's not for everyone. Not very exciting, is it, for an adventurer like yourself? I understand. I wanted to set sail when I was your age too.'

'Yeah, well, I might want to be a newspaper reporter now. Do you think Granddad will be sad?'

'Son, you're four years old - '

'Almost five!' Will piped up.

'Yes, in a couple of months. And you can be anything you want. Maybe you'll be an aeroplane pilot, or a teacher, or an inventor. You'll probably change your mind many times over before you finally decide. Who's to say you can't be a pilot and an inventor?' John offered.

'Nuh-huh,' Will stuck the pencil back behind his ear. 'Mum says I can't be a pilot, because it's too dangerous,' screwing up his face at the silliness of that edict.

John shrugged his shoulders, 'Oh, well the point is Will, it's your life. You can be anything and don't worry about hurting my feelings or your Granddad's by not following in our footsteps. Choose your own path son.'

William scratched his eyebrow and wrinkled his nose, thinking over what his dad had said. 'Okay, Daddy. I've been talking to Mr Hadley - '

'Will, you haven't been bothering Mr Hadley, have you?'

Mr Hadley was the owner and head reporter of The Downton Gazette. He was staying at the hotel because his home had been lost in a fire and he was having a new one built. He didn't need a precocious little boy firing questions at him.

'No Daddy. We were just talking about what it was like being a newspaper reporter. He thinks I might make a good one because I'm so quiza...quizative.'

'I think inquisitive is the word you're looking for, and I'm sure he did say that. But Mr Hadley has a lot on his mind, what with his house burning down, so let's not bother him too much, okay lad?'

'I won't, too much. I think I might get started on being a reporter now. Percy says he wants to be one too, and maybe we can make our own newspaper and sell it to people. What's your favorite part of the paper to read, Dad?'

'I enjoy all of it, son.'

This didn't seem to be the answer Will was looking for. 'What about Mum? What's her favorite part?'

'Hmm, you probably should ask her, but I'd say she likes the gossip column the best, Up and Down the High Street. And the recipes. Women like that sort of stuff.'

Will considered this, a confused expression on his face. He thought gossip was bad. That's what he learned in Sunday school, but if Mummy liked gossip, it must not be.

Just then Caleb knocked on the door and poked his head in to ask John something. 'Caleb,' asked Will, 'Do you like gossip?'

Caleb looked scandalised, 'Of course, I don't. Men don't gossip. That's for womenfolk to do, but don't you be tellin' Sarah I said that.'

Will shook his head, he wouldn't. He was getting excited now. He knew what he would write about in his newspaper. Now he just had to go find some gossip.

'Gotta go Daddy. I got stuff to do.' He was headed out the back office door so fast John barely had time to tell him to put on his jacket.

xxxx

Part 3 - Cleaning the Closet

John walked into the office to find his wife on her tiptoes struggling to reach something on the top shelf of the rather large closet which held their office supplies, coats, various toys, etc. 'Need a hand there, love?'

'Oh please. Me and my short legs.' She put her hands on her hips and huffed.

He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him. 'Aw, I love your legs. I love your...everything,' he growled into her neck and proceeded to walk them both into the closet, closing the door behind them.

'John Bates, what do you think you're doing?' Anna feigned protest.

'I'm giving you a hand, of course, two of them, in fact,' he proclaimed as his hands began to travel up and down the length of her body.

'John, someone might come looking for us.'

'In that case, we should be very quiet. Shhh...' he whispered, nipping at the pearls encircling her neck.

Anna could only moan and run her fingers through his hair, enjoying every touch and nip. Her racy husband always managed to surprise her somehow, and the thought that someone could walk in seemed to add to her excitement.

And then, all of a sudden, her thoughts became reality, and they heard the sound of someone rapping on the office door and opening it at once. It was Eamon and his half step. 'John?'

The old man walked in and immediately spotted the twins playing in their pen. 'Where are your parents? I can't find them anywhere.' He approached them, smiling down at the cheery babies. 'Don't you beautiful young ladies fret, Granddad will sit right here with you until they come back.'

But a sound, a rustling, drew his attention to the closet door. He stared at it intently for a moment before it dawned on him. 'You might as well come out. I know you're in there.'

'Dammit,' John hissed, 'Let's get this over with.' They exited the closet about as innocently as two naughty children, John first and Anna following behind him, straightening her dress.

Eamon looked up, with a smirk on his face. 'Cleaning the closet, were you?'

John didn't answer, in fact, he avoided looking at his father altogether, moving to sit behind his desk, head down.

When Finn saw her mother, she raised her arms, begging to be picked up, which Anna did, hiding her blazing cheeks in the little girl's neck. 'John and I had some things to...discuss, privately. Did you need something, Father?'

'Oh, no, no. My shift is over, and I thought I'd go down the barber shop and get a trim, ' he said, tugging on his beard and nodding toward John. 'The boss doesn't like me looking shabby.'

'And I'd better see to Will. He's supposed to be in the kitchen helping Archie wash potatoes. I'll take Finnie. Can you watch Fee, John?'

"You won't be finding the boy in the kitchen,' said Eamon on his way out the door. 'Just saw him eating lunch with Mr Hadley. They were talking about his new 'career'.'

'I told him not to bother Mr Hadley.' John threw his head back with a sigh.

'Don't worry. I'll relieve him of Will's company,' said Anna. 'And John, you'd better comb your hair before you leave the office.'

Eamon went to follow her out, 'Yes son, the boss is a stickler for that type of thing. Comb your hair.' The old man closed the door behind him, laughing at his own joke.

xxxx

'Mummy, Mr Hadley even said if Percy and I got our newspaper done, if it was good enough, he would use his printing press to print it for us, so we can sell them to people and- -.' Will had to stop for a breath as his mum was pulling him out of the dining room and back toward the office.

"That's all well and good, Will, and very nice of Mr Hadley, but you have to leave him to have his lunch in peace. He's a very busy man.'

'Okay, Mummy. I need to go find Percy. We've got work to do!'

'Don't forget your jacket…'

xxxx

Part 4 - Investigative Reporting

'Now remember, Percy, Mr Hadley says real investi...investigative reporters just stay out of sight and listen,' William explained, handing Percy a small notebook and a pencil. 'And we write everything we hear down, 'cause you never know what will turn out to be important.'

'So, we're kinda like spies then,' his friend's excitement was building in as they planned their day.

'Yeah!' Will liked this idea. 'Mr Hadley said journalists have to work in the shadows, so I guess so. We should investigate like real detectives!'

'I knew there was something better for me than being a boxer,' Percy said, rubbing his hands together.

'Where do you think we should start then?' William wondered aloud.

'With the ladies, of course!' declared Percy. 'They're professionals at nosing into other people's business, my Uncle George says, and he knows pretty much everything about everything. He told me he did.'

Will looked dubious at this statement and screwed up his face.

'It's true, Will. They can't help it, they're born like that.'

'Yeah, I guess. Mum, Daisy and Sarah are in the office drinking tea. I just saw them. Let's go!'

It was a beautiful, temperate day for mid-March, and the boys found the office window cracked open, the perfect place for crouching and listening in, out of sight of the ladies.

'Oh, it's so good to sit down. Sarah, I can't tell you how happy John and I are to have you and Caleb back. Your two days away made us realise how important you are to the running of this hotel. Did you have a good time?'

'We did, we did indeed,' Sarah replied with a wink. 'If you know what I mean.'

'I think I do,' Anna returned her wink. 'Daisy? You haven't mentioned Andy lately. How are things going on that front?' Anna asked.

Daisy shrugged her shoulders, 'Fine, I guess.' It was obvious she wanted to say more but was too embarrassed.

'Come on, Daisy. You can tell us anything.' Anna rested her elbows on the table, leaning forward.

'Yes tell us. Is he a good kisser? Because that's so important.' Sarah was enjoying this conversation. 'Caleb's a great kisser. Is Mr Bates, Anna? He looks like he would be.'

Anna's cheeks coloured slightly. 'Well, I think he is. I nearly died the first time he kissed me. He's so slow and sensual, and he's only gotten better with time. It gives me shivers just thinking about kissing him.' Anna looked down shyly, 'Oh, I've probably said more than I should have. Oh well, we're all friends.' She continued, 'But Daisy, is there a problem with Andy? Is he treating you well?'

'Oh yes! If anything, he's treating me too well. It's like I'm up here, on a pedestal,' Daisy held her hand high to indicate, 'but I don't want to be on a pedestal. I want him to really kiss me like he means it.'

'Being respectful is good…' Sarah nodded. 'Until the point it becomes boring.'

'Don't say that, Sarah.' Anna shot her friend a look. 'Andy is a gentleman.'

'Well,' Daisy continued, pouring more tea into her cup. 'He says he wants to marry me and have things done properly.'

'That reminds me of someone,' Anna smiled to herself.

'Was John like that too?' Sarah asked.

'He was. But, we...we did more than kissing, once everything was settled between us, goodness me! My eyes were happily opened,' Anna replied, fanning herself with her hand, trying to cool her cheeks. 'So there is hope, Daisy.'

'Mr Bates always looks so, I don't know, so proper.' Sarah shook her head, picturing the Mr Bates Anna gushed about.

'He is proper when everyone's looking,' Anna stated, giggling as she did.

'I thought he was ever the romantic figure. All the maids at the Abbey were quite taken by his mysterious ways,' Daisy said, thinking back to when they all worked at the big manor house.

'Yes. I remember hearing them talking about him,' Anna recalled. 'I would often turn red I think. Everyone would ask me what was wrong with me? Couldn't I see how romantic he was? Yes, I could. I was already so in love, but it seemed hopeless at the time.'

'And now here you are. I just want that kind of romance too. How can I convince him to treat me like a living breathing woman and that he's worthy of me.'

'Well,' said Anna, 'If you're sure Andy's the man for you, there are some things you can do…'

'And he won't be able to resist. No man can say no to a woman who puts her mind to it. And her hands and her lips. You know what they say…' Sarah voiced.

'What do they say?' Daisy asked looking at her friends' knowing faces.

'Use your womanly wiles, of course,' Anna giggled, placing her cup on the table and covering her mouth. The twins were playing in their playpen while the three women drank their afternoon tea.

'You mean…' Daisy insisted.

'Seduction! They can't resist it,' Sarah replied.

'A kiss on the neck, a hand along the chest…' Anna continued, her face getting pinker by the minute, but nothing could compare to the shade of red that came across Daisy's cheeks.

'Travelling lower and lower…'

'Sarah!' Anna couldn't help but laugh now, smacking Sarah's shoulder lightly. 'You devil!'

'As if I'm a lying,' Sarah rolled her eyes.

'And that's enough?' Daisy wasn't sure if she should believe in what the others were saying.

'Usually, it sets a good mood. And a man in a good, an easy mood is half the way to victory,' Anna reasoned, before taking a long sip of her tea. 'This is a nice blend, yes,' she said with a twinkle in her eye.

'Well, Mr Bates is always in a good mood.' Daisy thought aloud, trying to remember her employer's usual behaviour.

'And that must be Anna's doing,' Sarah laughed aloud at her own words, and the other two joined in.

'Did you hear that, Will?' Percy whispered to his friend. 'Your mum sets your dad's good mood with neck kisses and hands along the chest.'

'Neck kisses, bleh.' He was all too aware of his Mum's disgusting kissing habits. 'I don't understand it, but I've seen it with my own eyes. My dad turns all mushy-like when she kisses him. It's a power women have, I think.'

'Yes, 'cause when men grow up a madness takes them sometimes. That's why. We need to be careful of that, Will.'

'Shhh, Percy. Listen,' but the ladies were winding up their tea now. That's all the young reporters would hear from this location.

'Write this down, Will! Mr John Bates is a true heartthrob. An object of desire for all the ladies. Write it. I heard that somewhere, it sounds good. Object of desire…'

'I thought mum was the only one fancying dad. Imagine that?'

'Well, that's exactly why we're doing this, isn't it? To find out the truth and let people know about it. Object of de...si with an S, re. Desire. Good!'

xxxx

'So they're not getting married then? I thought they were courting.' John was shocked with what Caleb was telling them. His father...not much about human nature shocked him. And although he'd only been in the village a short time, he was coming to know the citizens and their goings on well. The three were sitting at the bar, eating peanuts and talking about whatever came up when Caleb mentioned the matter of Robin Forbes' indiscretion.

Before continuing, Caleb looked around to be sure they were alone. 'He said, he got all that comes with marriage whenever the parents are away.'

'No, he said that?' John brought one hand to his mouth, covering a lazy grin. He couldn't believe it.

'Yes! Mr and Mrs Forbes visit their daughter every two weeks and well, that's when Laura visits Robin. In the afternoon.'

'My goodness,' John chuckled as he threw back another handful of peanuts.

'Until the day comes when she knocks at his door pregnant and demanding support,' Eamon added, rolling his eyes. The only one drinking a pint of the three.

'Robin says she doesn't want to tie herself down either. Not all modern women want that anymore,' Caleb explained.

'That's what they say,' Eamon scoffed, resting his empty glass on the counter. 'They know all the tricks to get a man, they do. Kisses, below the belt groping... before you know it there's a wedding ring on her finger and five children crying in your bed.'

'Everything makes so much sense now,' John said, shooting his father a look.

'No. No, no, no. I never disrespected your mother.'

'If abandoning your wife and child is respect then, yes, you were ever so respectful.'

Father and son eyed each other for a moment before Caleb continued with his gossip.

'I remember my...a friend of mine once saying that these modern women are only made for a few rounds and not for marriage. Most men are just the same. Put them together and it's perfect for both,' the younger man resumed, but even to him, it was all rather shocking.

'Did you hear that Percy?' William asked his friend from the hall that connected the office with the pub and the staff quarters. They had moved there after the women were done with their tea, and they found that the men were every bit as good at gossiping as the ladies.

'I did! Some men and some women are only good for a few rounds,' Percy repeated, writing everything down in the notebook. 'Well, I never thought women were boxers but, times are a changin' as my gran says.'

William nodded, and they became silent as the three men began speaking again.

'Even worse is the bank watchman's wife who visits Mr Gray every other week.' It was now Eamon's turn to tell.

'How do you know that?' John asked.

'Mr Gray's sister told me so. She saw her leaving his house one day, after that she kept watch, and now she knows for sure. Every other Sunday after church. For two or three hours, leaves right before luncheon.'

'That's brazen and on Sunday too!' Caleb shook his head. 'And his sister told you that?'

'She did! You know how much that woman loves to talk.'

'Just imagine if you found out your wife did something like that,' Caleb sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

'A man's worst nightmare,' Eamon said, and the other two nodded.

'What would you do Mr Bates?' Caleb asked again.

'Me? That would never happen. I don't have to worry about it.'

'Do you make sure your wife doesn't need to look around when it ticks?' Caleb insisted with a chuckle and John could only grimace at the sudden turn of this conversation.

'Oh he's sure of it,' Eamon teased. 'Locks her up in the closet, with him inside!'

'HA!' Caleb laughed loudly. 'But say, what if it happened?'

'I told you, it would never happen,' John insisted, beginning to lose his patience.

'But what if it did?'

'He would do like Simon Barrel. Shoot the lover and forgive the wife. Simon now has a son who looks like the man around the corner,' Eamon spouted.

'He shot him?' John asked, trying to change the subject again.

'In the leg, he did. Everyone knows but no one ever said a thing. Simon said 'You bastard, if you go to the police I will shoot the rest of ya. And the poor bloke believed him.'

'Poor bloke? He was messing with his wife! There's nothing poor about it,' John said shaking his head in disapproval.

'And Simon Barrel's wife seems such a sweet thing,' Caleb added.

'She's a sight for sore eyes, that's for sure,' Eamon agreed. 'What? Isn't she?'

'She's all right,' John replied.

'Anna May Bates has got him blind to other women,' Caleb joked.

John stood to leave, 'And I wouldn't have it any other way.'

xxxx

Part 5 - Anna's Baby Boy

Another tiring day of reporting and spying had come to an end for Will, as the family all sat at the table for dinner. Finn and Fee, having already been fed a meal of soup and mashed carrots, were busy playing on their blanket on the floor, Old Jack watching over them.

'So, darling, tell us about your day,' Anna questioned William, as he was particularly silent tonight. 'You and Percy have been very busy lately.'

'Yeah,' the boy nodded, chewing on his food. 'Working and stuff. We went to the village square.'

'Will, you know I don't like you venturing out too far, don't you?' Anna warned.

'Mum, I'm a big boy already. I know how to take care of myself, how to cross the road and all that stuff. Plus Percy is used to walking around the village all the time.'

'Leave him, Anna,' John said, smiling. 'It's good for them to venture outside their mother's skirts.'

'I know but, there are so many cars on the road,' Anna insisted, worried that something bad could happen to her boy.

'He knows he needs to be careful with the cars, don't you?' John continued. 'And everyone knows him and would help him if he needed it. The hotel is just around the corner from everywhere.'

'I know, but…' she sighed. 'I still worry. I don't want anything bad happening to my darling baby.'

'Mum! I ain't no baby, I'm a boy. A big one,' William said rolling his eyes. If Percy ever heard his mum talking like this...it would end Will's good reputation for sure!

'All right, all right,' Anna smiled down at her son, running a hand through his blond hair. 'A big boy...I'm sorry.'

'I reckon you'll always be your mother's baby boy, son,' John teased, pouting playfully at his son.

'Oh no,' Will sighed, letting his head fall forward in defeat.

'Oh yes!' Anna cheered, sharing a look with her husband.

Eamon Bates? His chin rested on his chest, and he had just begun to snore. Dinner had been too delicious for him to resist a good nap afterwards.

xxxx

The next day…

'William? ' Anna walked into the office looking for her son after being told he should be there. When she opened the door, a breeze blew in from the window, scattering a pile of papers on John's desk. She sighed at the sight and moved to gather them up into a neat pile again. Then she happened to glance at the papers in her hands, trying to understand what sort of notes those were. As she began to read, a look of horror formed on her face. Page after page of gossip. Rumours, things people only said in private, written down in front of her eyes. The writers? Percy, and her own son, William Bates.

'Oh my God! John!' She ran off to find her husband, only to come back not two minutes later. Pulling him by his arm, Anna was frantically trying to explain what had happened, what she had seen.

'But, what are you sayin-.'

'They wrote their little newspaper. Remember William talking about it? Well, it's not little, and it's not harmless. They have been eavesdropping on everything we say. And when I say we, I mean the whole village! They even wrote about the Vicar's ungodly love for liquor!' cried Anna, taking a deep breath when she had finished.

'Oh Lord! Those two little...!'

Anna turned to the desk and to her horror the pile of papers was gone. 'Wait, where is it?' She knew she had placed it on the desk again, and now...nothing! 'It was just here only a minute ago!'

'Well, it's not anymore.' John looked around nervously.

'Oh my God. He mentioned Mr Hadley was going to print it for them if it was good!' Anna remembered.

'He wouldn't, would he? How good can a four and a seven-year old's attempt at a newspaper be?'

'John! It's filled with gossip! Of course, it's good! Our little boy is a gossip columnist!' Anna exclaimed with her hands on her cheeks.

'You don't think…?'

'I do! William took the paper to be printed. John, if people read this, we'll be ruined, and the whole village will be in an uproar. Oh no!' Anna wailed, and surely she was right.

TBC next week...

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We don't own John & Anna, alas, we wish we did. We just gently use them. Eamon, Will and the twins do belong to us however.