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Entry Number Three

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters are borrowed from EL James.

This is my first fan fiction. I have so much respect for all the authors on here, it was definitely not easy to get all of my thoughts out, so it made somewhat sense to me.

"Ok, Grace, we will be there."

Great, just what I need now, Grace is insisting that we must all meet for brunch tomorrow to finalize our wedding plans. Sure, that is exactly what I want to do, have a family meal with a future father in law who thinks I'm a gold digger and a fiancé who is insisting I say I will obey him in the vows.

Seriously, Christian, do you want to start our marriage with a lie, because I sure as hell don't.

I wonder what I could do now to get out of it. Grace wouldn't accept no for an answer so maybe if I slashed the tires to my car, but I can't do that because then he would lock me in his ivory tower and I would never get to go anywhere.

I can't get anymore work done now. I wonder how late Christian will be at the office. Even though we don't see eye to eye right now, I still can't wait to see him since he left before I woke up this morning.

"Are you ready, Miss Steele?"

"Yes, Sawyer, let's get out of here." I just want to relax and hopefully Christian and I can finally come to terms about our vows.

It is now 9:30 and still no sign of Christian. Is he just going to avoid me in hopes of me giving in to him? Seriously, I never signed his stupid contract, what makes him think I will give in so easily. I haven't heard from him all day. Gail is the one who told me he wouldn't make it to dinner. I wonder if he ever talked to Grace.

Since he hasn't responded to my text earlier I decided to call.

"Grey!"

I guess he can't be bothered to look at the caller id.

"Hi. Do you know how much longer you will be at the office?" I ask hopeful that he will be home soon.

"Anastasia, I have a lot of work I still need to do, so don't wait up. Most likely when I do make it back to Escala, I will have to work in my study."

I get that he has a stressful job but I think we need to get this resolved unless he truly is unwilling to compromise. If he doesn't, then I don't know where we go from here.

"I understand, Christian. I was just hoping we could talk, is all."

"Have you reconsidered your position?"

"No. I still want us to write our own vows."

"And I still feel that traditional is the way to go, so unless one of us has had a change of heart, then there is nothing to discuss. I must go, Anastasia."

And with that, he is gone. No I love you, no goodbye, just nothing.

If he is being like this over our vows, what is going to happen when we disagree on other big topics, like children or any decisions once we have children? I know he said we could have them, but other than the brief mention in his first proposal, we haven't discussed it since.

I believe that he loves me, but just how much. He said before that he would take me anyway he could get me, but wanting me to obey makes me think otherwise. He always says he likes my smart mouth, but if I do give in and go with the traditional vows, what will he do when we don't agree then? Bring up how I vowed to obey him and it must be his way. There is no way I can give him all of that power over me. Why, oh why, couldn't I love a less complicated man, but then again, I probably wouldn't experience as much heat and passion that we have.

I can't think any more about this tonight or I am going to cry myself to sleep and will have bloodshot puffy eyes for brunch tomorrow, and Lord knows I don't need Kate to begin the Kavanagh inquisition.

As I drift off into a fitful sleep, my last thoughts are about how I could sneak down and slash my tires to avoid this brunch altogether.

I awake to the most terrifying sound I have ever heard and quickly realize that Christian is having a nightmare.

"Christian! Christian!" I try to wake him. Grabbing onto his shoulders, I shake him because I just have to get him out of this.

Nothing else matters right now because the man I love so much is being tortured by his own mind.

"I'm here! I'm here!" He finally opens his eyes and he looks terrified.

"Ana? You're here." I have no idea how much sleep he has gotten but his voice is barely above a whisper.

"Of course, I'm here." Oh, Christian, just because we are having a disagreement doesn't mean I am going to run away.

"I had a dream…"

"I know."

He still looks so fearful, almost like I am going to disappear, so I take him into my arms and just hold onto him telling him, "I'm here. I'm here."

After what seems like forever, but was only maybe a minute, he finally says, "Ana, please, let's not fight."

"Okay." I'm not sure what else I can say right now. I didn't want a fight, I wanted a discussion.

He then shocks me by quickly saying, "The vows. No obeying. I can do that. We'll find a way."

I am amazed, that after that, he is accepting that I will not be vowing to obey him.

"Yes, we will. We will always find a way."

In this moment, I know we are going to have to work on our communication and be able to discuss things without having it come down to days of barely speaking and resulting in him having a nightmare. But I have missed him so much.

I crash my lips to his and run my fingers through his hair.

He responds immediately and soon flips me on my back and continues to kiss me with all the passion and love that he has.

"Oh, Ana baby, I've missed you. I'm so sorry." He says as he works his way down my body stopping at my breasts before continuing down to my needy core.

He goes to work using his incredible tongue and it doesn't take long before I'm moaning out my release, "ohhhhh, Chrrrristiaaaaan"

He kisses back up my body and quickly thrusts himself inside me.

"This is going to be fast, baby. I need you so much."

He pounds into me at a relentless pace and before long we are both moaning and screaming each other's names.

"Baby, I love you so much." I can see the love in his eyes.

"I love you too, Christian. Let's try to get some sleep so we can get through brunch tomorrow."

"Okay. I can't wait to call you Mrs. Grey."

He kisses me once more before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest.

"I can't wait either, Mr. Grey. Goodnight, Christian."

The alarm wakes us both before we want to get up. However, the shower we shared is something I don't mind to have every morning.

"I am kind of nervous about brunch." I tell him with a hint of annoyance. "I understand we need to finalize everything for our wedding, but why does everyone have to be there. Can't we just meet with Grace or Mia?"

"Baby, I get it. I am not excited about seeing my father either but we have to get everything finalized. You didn't want Vegas and I want our wedding to be everything you wish it to be." He tells me as he is putting on his silver tie.

"You know what that tie does to me, Mr. Grey"

"Yes, baby, but you are just going to have to wait; we will be cutting it close as is after our spectacular shower."

With a chaste kiss, we head down to the SUV where Taylor is waiting to take us to the Mile High Club for the dreaded brunch.

When we arrive, only Grace and Carrick are already here. Great, can this get any more awkward?

Grace welcomes me with a hug and informs us that Mia will not be able to join us today.

"Hello, Mr. Grey." I try to say as warmly as possible but I think he can sense the apprehension in my voice.

"Please, Ana, it's Carrick."

I just smile and nod nervously at him. Maybe next time, maybe not.

Christian gives him a look that says, "don't even think about bringing up a pre-nup again" and helps me into my seat.

Christian barely made it to his seat before Kate and Elliott arrive.

Grace cheerfully says, "Let's eat and then we will discuss the final details of the wedding."

We all eat in awkward silence, or maybe it is only me that feels it is awkward, until Elliott turns to Christian and says, "Bro, so the bachelor party, I have it all planned. You are going to be living up your last night as a free man."

I tense, Christian notices and responds, "Elliott, I have no need for a bachelor party. Besides the fact that I don't have many friends, the idea of getting shitfaced drunk the night before I make the most important acquisition of my life, does not appeal to me."

Is that all that I am, an acquisition to him?

He sees my face fall but before he can say anything Elliott continues, "But Kate has Ana's bachelorette all set, come on, bro, live a little, act your age for once."

Christian tries to maintain his composure but I can tell he is going through all kinds of things Kate could possibly have planned for my bachelorette party. So I jump into the conversation to try to calm Christian's overactive brain.

"I appreciate you bringing up my bachelorette, Elliott, but Kate has already run by me what she wanted to do and we have agreed. I don't want to be hungover on my wedding day either; I want to look my best. Let's face it, we all know I can't hold my liquor, so let's just all get together for a meal and go our separate ways at the end of the night."

"That is a great idea, Ana. The women can stay at our house, while all the men stay at Escala." Grace interjects.

"Why would Ana want all the guys at our apartment the night before our wedding?"

"Christian, it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding and the tradition is to spend the night apart."

Oh shit, she had to mention tradition, I can just hear him now, "if we are sticking with some traditional aspects, then why do we have to write our own vows" and just when I thought we could enjoy these last few days of being engaged after clearing the vows hurdle last night. Not so fast, Steele.

Grace continues, "Plus, it will make -when you see each other- that much more special."

"Ana and I will discuss it. What else needs to be done, I thought we had it all taken care of already?"

"I just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page and that we hadn't forgotten anything, plus, I just wanted all of my family together even though Mia couldn't make it. All the RSVPs are in, along with all of the NDAs. We have confirmed with the caterer, the florist, and the cake decorator. Christian, did you get the music taken care of?"

"Of course, Mother, and the rings have been picked up already."

"Ana, when is your final dress fitting?"

Oh, that was addressed to me. I honestly wish we had just gone to Vegas the night of his birthday at this point.

"It is in two days, Grace."

"Wonderful. I believe everything is in order, unless you two can think of anything else?"

Christian looks at me and I shrug my shoulders and shake my head.

"I think that has it all covered, Mother. If that is all, Ana and I are going to head back home because we have plans later."

I give him a questioning look because I didn't know we had plans, but he doesn't give anything away. It is still surreal to me that Escala is my home. Sometimes I think I will wake up and all of this will have been a dream.

We say goodbye to everyone and finally we are in the SUV and on the way back home.

Christian hasn't said a word to me and that is worrisome.

As we get in the elevator, a million thoughts hit me at once. Has he already changed his mind about the vows? Has he changed his mind about getting married altogether? Maybe he would just rather have a submissive. What if Elena is right and I am not enough for him?

"I can hear you thinking, Anastasia."

Anastasia. Really, this can't be good if he is still addressing me by my full name.

In a surprising move, he pins me against the back of the elevator and kisses me just like he did in the elevator at the Heathman, only this kiss I can feel his love for me.

When we get into our penthouse, he asks, "Are you sure you don't want to just go to Vegas? We can be there in a few hours and get married tonight."

I giggle and respond, "As appealing as that sounds, and I have to admit that I have considered it, I would hate to have spent what you already have on everything for the wedding and then to have to cancel it all, especially when Grace and Mia have put so much into it."

"First of all, it is our money and what we have spent is practically nothing to me, but if you are sure, I guess I can wait a few more days to officially call you Mrs. Grey. Are we really going along with spending the night before apart? You know I can't sleep well without you."

"Christian, I understand, and I don't really want to be without you either, but it will only be for a few hours, so not even a whole day. Think of it as practice for when you have to go on a business trip and I can't go with you."

I really hope he doesn't try to change his mind about the vows just because we will go along with this tradition.

"Alright, future Mrs. Grey, I guess if we must."

"Thank you, Mr. Grey. You really are an incredible man. I cannot wait to call you my husband. Thank you for making my dreams come true. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Ana. What do you say we go practice for our wedding night?"

"Yes, Sir!"

Author's Note: I borrowed the part about his nightmare over the vows from the beginning of Fifty Shades Freed.