Head back without Aaron?

No. The thought nearly made him sick to his stomach. He had lost enough people and he wasn't keen on losing more. Losing Tyreese, Noah, and Beth were still fresh on his mind. He wasn't going to add Aaron to that list. No fucking way.

He doubled over on his knees, the air not flowing to his lungs suddenly. What the fuck? Not this shit again. He fought to control the urge to surrender to the weight that was settling on his chest, the heaviness that was making it difficult to breathe. Blackness crowded his vision and somewhere in the background he heard Aaron speaking to him.

"I'm fine...just gimme' a minute." He heard the words as if he were floating somewhere above himself listening in to someone else's conversation. A heavy hand came to rest on his shoulder. Aaron. He tried to rise to his feet, but the blackness doubled and instead he remained on his knees. He felt weak and he hated that more than anything. "Fuck," he whispered.

"Just breathe, Daryl," Aaron coaxed softly and for some reason that irritated him. Couldn't Aaron see that he was trying?

"Can't," he growled even as his breath hitched. Sweat dripped from his forehead, falling onto his hands that were clenched into tight fists resting on his pants.

Aaron moved faster than Daryl had ever seen. Sliding to his knees before him, Aaron gripped the back of his neck, squeezing gently. Daryl couldn't focus. He felt like he was choking, but that was fucking ridiculous because there was nothing there.

"Just relax. Focus on me. Look at my chest. See how I'm breathing?" Aaron asked.

Even though he felt stupid, Daryl looked, willing to try anything to make this feeling go away. He didn't like it - this loss of control. He focused on Aaron's chest, watching it rise in and out as he breathed in deeply. He felt Aaron's forehead against his own, his soft voice washing over him as he kept repeating himself.

This was stupid. It wasn't going to work. What the hell?

And then amazingly, it did.

Little by little, the tightness in his chest decreased, allowing more air into his lungs. He wasn't choking anymore and he breathed in long gulps of air, grateful for the one thing he took for granted everyday. He could breathe again.

"Fuck," Daryl whispered.

He closed his eyes and opened them again, finally focusing on his surroundings. Aaron stared at him, their forehead still pressed together, concern etched in his features. It was an odd feeling for Daryl...having someone besides Carol show obvious concern for him. He wasn't sure he liked it, but he didn't move away from him either. He felt fingers at the base of his neck and realized that Aaron was massaging him gently, strong fingers pressing deep into his skin.

A groan of satisfaction escaped him and Aaron's fingers froze. Daryl felt his whole body tense, all too aware of the man before him in a way that he wasn't sure he was ultimately comfortable with. He cleared his throat and backed away, Aaron's hand leaving his neck. Daryl cleared his throat and stared off into the distance for a moment to gather himself.

"You okay?" Aaron asked softly.

Daryl nodded, not wanting to admit to anyone, much less himself, how much the other man's touch had thrown him. All his life he had associated men as being untrustworthy for the most part. First it had been the man who claimed to be his father, but had beaten him whenever the mood struck. Then it had been Merle, who had left him behind at a time when his brother had been his whole world. Utterly defenseless. His own mother hadn't even been the affectionate type.

So to have Aaron - a man he really didn't know, to touch him in anything other than anger screwed with his whole world. Sure, he let Rick and even Glenn touch him, but that was different. He knew them, probably more than anybody else and they had proven themselves time and again. They were like his brothers. Aaron wasn't.

Yet he had touched Daryl. And it hadn't felt brotherly at all.

"I'm losing my mind," he muttered under his breath.

"No, but you have been having these panic attacks quite frequently," Aaron replied and Daryl hadn't realized he had spoken the words out loud.

"This ain't me. I don't have panic attacks," he insisted. He glanced around the woods, even in his disoriented state keeping aware of his surroundings.

"Daryl-" Aaron's hand fell upon his shoulder.

It might have been because he was still raw from the gentle massage to his neck or it might have been because he still hadn't gotten himself under control. But for whatever reason, Daryl grabbed his hand and jerked. In one smooth motion, Aaron was flipped over onto the ground, landing on his back so that the air was forced out of him.

He regretted the action the moment their eyes met and he saw the slight fear creep into Aaron's eyes only to be chased quickly away by concern. And fuck if that wasn't just as bad as the fear. But just like usual, his own stubbornness swooped in, refusing to let him utter an apology. He grit his teeth together in frustration, his fingers wrapped tightly around Aaron's wrist so much so that he could feel every bit of blood being pumped through the man's veins.

Aaron stared at him with unblinking eyes and to his credit he didn't move a muscle. They were at a standstill and damn if Daryl had any idea where to go from here.

"I won't hurt you," he finally whispered, unable to tear his eyes away from the man beneath him.

Aaron swallowed, but finally nodded slowly. "I know," he murmured.

The image hit him hard, the intensity of it nearly knocking him on his ass. Just the simple act of watching Aaron's tongue dart out and lick at his lips set him off. He was sure of it. It had to be the heat...or the fact that he had just recently lost all control again. That had to be it because it couldn't be anything else. It couldn't be that he was having feelings for this man. A man. Christ, what would the others think?

Yet even as he scrambled backward from the other man, the image continued to haunt him. He did his best to force it out of his mind, but it returned each time like a broken record, repeating the same image over and over again. The image of his tongue sliding into Aaron's mouth, their chests colliding together with enough force to knock the breath from them. He ran his hand over his face knowing that it wouldn't take it away, but trying nonetheless. Aaron had someone. He had Eric and Daryl respected Eric even though he felt like he didn't know the man. Daryl had morals after all, even if sometimes it didn't seem as such. Despite those morals, it wasn't the fact that it was a man that worried him, nor was it the fact that the man was off limits.

No, what really worried him?

It was the fact that even as he willed the image as far from his mind as possible, it still had no affect on his body. Nor on the part of his body that was erect. The part that was hard and aching for the touch of the man's lips who still lay mere inches from him.

"Daryl?" Aaron's voice cut through the fog that was his brain, but he couldn't. He couldn't do this anymore.

"Not now, Aaron," he responded, his voice gruff and harder than intended.

He was so fucking screwed.