Surprise update! I have writer's block with The Hat Hangs Heavy. Well, less block, and more issues forming words in sentences. But I can throw down these 2500-3000 word chapters like nothing, so here is something for today. Along with my other surprise update, I think these are the last curveballs I will be throwing before the THHH update. Hope you enjoy, and leave a review.

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It wasn't even noon, and nothing happened yet, but Naruto Uzumaki knew without a shadow of a doubt that this birthday, his tenth birthday, was his best birthday yet.

He remembered a few weeks earlier when his sister had her 10th birthday, and how much fun it was. It had been a pretty big gathering of Ino's friends and families coming together to celebrate her birthday. They had cake, and the Akimichi's brought this pork roast that was super delicious. Ino seemed really happy, and she liked the charm bracelet he had gotten for her (with oba-san Nikko's help). It was really a great time. And now, it was gonna be his turn to have an awesome birthday party. He knew it would be nowhere near as big, just Ino and her parents and a few friends, but it would be far more than anything he had before. Oji-san told him to leave the house for the day, and he bet it was so they could plan a surprise party. However, he was avoiding the main public because this was the day that most people in the village looked in scorn at him the most. He had no idea why, but he didn't want to deal with that on what should be a really happy day. So instead he was touring the local forests in Konoha, exploring and making sure it was a fun day.

He wasn't exactly sure where he was, though he had kept close to the road. He guessed he would know once he got out of the forest and looked around proper. He saw a fence in the distance with steam coming out over it, so he became curious as to what was behind it. He made his way over, and was confused by what he saw.

A large man in a red vest and white hair with a ginormous scroll resting next to him who was staring in the middle of the fence, giggling. Naruto wondered if he "sick in the head" like Oji-san had mentioned some people were and did random things because it made sense to them in their head. Against his better judgement, he got closer to the man to see what was going on. He wasn't being quiet, so it wasn't too surprising that the man turned around to look at him. When he did this, Naruto realized there was a hole in the fence. So he was looking into it, Naruto though to himself. He was curious about what was beyond the fence and causing that steam. He was also hearing water, was there a river nearby?

The white haired man gave him a grin when he saw him. "Yo, gaki, wanna see something cool?" That should have been a red flag, but Naruto was Naruto.

"Sure, where is it?" Naruto asked him.

The man beckoned him to come over to the fence. "It's simple, and I know you can appreciate it. Just look through this hole here."

Naruto walked over there, ignoring the multitude of red flags popping up in his head. As he though it, curiousity killed the cat, not a shinobi. He pointed to the hole the man had been staring at, and the man nodded. Slowly, Naruto put his left eye to the whole to see what was behind it.

Water. Steam. Towels. Skin. Hair. Hair in a place Naruto didn't expect. Women. Breasts. Shikamaru's mom.

The last thing caused Naruto to pull away. He finally realized what this thing was, and what the man had been doing. He pointed accusingly towards him. "This is a women's bath! You're just some giant pervert!" He told him.

The man shrugged. "No, kid. I'm not a pervert." The man skipped a beat before throwing on a winning smile. "I'm a mega pervert!"

Naruto looked at him like he was a weirdo. Naruto was at that age where he was beginning to appreciate girls but his new life as a brother and a 'nephew' for his Oba-san gave him a greater appreciation and respect for women and their privacy. "Why are you so proud about that? Being a pervert is bad!"

The man chuckled. "Kid, wait until you are older. You'll see that a lot of girls love it when you love the ladies like me."

Naruto wasn't buying it. In his few moments looking into the bath, we saw a few kuniochi whom he knew would not be so happy being peeked on. He took a deep breath, cupped his hands around his mouth and bellowed. "Pervert! There's a big white haired pervert looking in the woman's bath! Stop him!"

His face dropped instantly after hearing Naruto's calls, and the subsequent rumblings of the women in the bath. "Gaki, don't you know it is rude to do something like that?" He asked. All the man got back was a smirk from Naruto before he began hightailing out of the danger zone. Naruto was no idiot, he knew the pervert was about to get beaten up big time.

He ran into the forest along the way he came for a few minutes until all sounds of the angry women were long gone and he was alone. Coming to a stop, he let out a laugh. "I bet that pervert got was what was coming to him."

"Well, I know some little gaki is about to get what is coming to him." Naruto jumped by the sudden voice behind him, and turned around to see that the man had followed him the entire way. Before he got to saw a word, the man's fist was balled up and bopped Naruto's skull making a solid THUNK. Naruto began to rub his head, since it had hurt!

"What was that for? You're just a peeker!" Naruto complained to the man.

The man shook his head. "I am no peeker! I am an artist! A writer! And what I was not doing was not peeking, but research for one of the my books! Here, take a read. May I suggest page 103?" With an ease he pulled an orange book out of his red vest and handed it to Naruto. Naruto decided to go to page 103 and read out loud what was on the page.

"Daisuke took Akane over to the bed, ripping off her bra leaving her body exposed to the night. Pushing her against the matress, he pushed his lips against her and began to slide his two fingers...toward her..vag- Wait a second!" Naruto cut off his narrative. "Isn't this just some sort of dirty book?" He was blushing red and handed the book back towards the man.

The man waved it off. "Keep it, I'm sure you'll love it in a few years. Just call it a birthday present. And so what if it is dirty? People like dirty! If people didn't do the dirty, then none of us would be around, now would we?"

Naruto had received the birds and the bees speech in health class and knew that the man was technically right. But still, did he really have to write it down? Would he really like it when he was older? And most importantly, "Hey, how do you know it's my birthday! I've never seen...you...around. Yes I have! I've noticed some white haired guy with a big scroll in town for the last month, but I never saw his face. Have you been stalking me?" Naruto accused the man, pointing his finger in a threatening manner.

The man threw his hands up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I would do no such thing as stalking. I was simply learning background information about you."

"Isn't that stalking?" Naruto retorted.

The man gasped. "Look, Naruto Uzumaki, let's get one thing straight. I didn't have to ever reveal my presence to you if I didn't want you to see it. I let you catch me gathering research, though I thought you would have been more understanding. And I was doing my research with permission from sensei."

"Who's sensei?" Naruto questioned, getting more and more curious about this odd man.

He smirked. "Oh, just the most powerful ninja in Konoha, old Sarutobi-sensei. Though I heard you call him Jiji."

Naruto eyes went wide. "Jiji taught you? I didn't know he had students!"

He shook his head. "Gaki, do you just ignore everything your sensei tells you in school?"

Naruto shook his head. "Well, I mean, if it's important then of course I'm gonna listen to him."

The man sighed. "Have you never heard of the Great Sannin? Survived the battle against Hanzo? Legends? Tsunade, Orochimaru and yours truly, the great sage of Mount Myoboku, Jiraiya?"

"So Jiraiya's your name, huh?" He planted to the ground in surprise, then Naruto continued. "And yeah, I remember something about Sannin and being survivors of some great battle in the Third or Second war, but nothing about them being taught by the Hokage Jiji."

Jiraiya let out a heavy sigh. "You're killing me here, kid. I'm trying to show you how awesome I am, and you keep nitpicking. And to think, I wanted to talk to you about Minato."

The first name of his father caught Naruto's eye. "What do you mean, Minato? What Minato?" Naruto asked, knowing he couldn't give anything away.

Jiraiya let out a huff, and then give a satisfied smile. "Finally, we are getting somewhere. But let's talk with that newfound sister of yours, Ino Yamanaka? Then I can tell you guys all about my student, Minato Namikaze."

On instinct, Naruto followed him as they returned to the Yamanaka residence. This Jiraiya taught his dad? Did he know that Naruto was his son? Did he know about Ino? A million questions raced through Naruto's head, and before he realized it, he was at his front door with Jiraiya knocking.

Nikko wearing an apron, obviously a bit dusty from flour, looking surprised. "Jiraiya-sama! What a surprise for you to come here." She looked around him and saw Naruto with him. Her face turned a bit more serious. "I'm guessing you would like a talk with Ino as well?"

Jiraiya nodded. "And if you don't mind, could we use your attic for privacy? These are things we don't want random people finding out."

Nikko nervously looked around for no real reason before nodded. "Yeah that is right." She turned to face the inside of the house. "Sweetie! Can you clean yourself up and head to the attic. You have a guest."

Ino was similarly dusty with flour as she walked into view. "Why would I need to go to the attic for a guest?" She looked at Jiraiya in the doorway. "And who is he?"

Jiraiya entered the house with Naruto following him. "Well, you can call me many things, but the thing you probably would care about is how I was the sensei to a certain Yondaime Hokage that you have a particular interest in." Ino's ears perked up and looked towards Naruto who gave her a nod.

"I'll be ready in a moment."

A few minutes later the trio was alone in the attic, Naruto and Ino standing next to each other looking up to Jiraiya. He had introduced himself to Ino downstairs a bit more formally, so now was the serious discussion.

"To answer the question on your mind, mostly no." Jiraiya made clear to begin the discussion.

"Which one?" Naruto asked. He had too many that could be deemed important to be clearly "on his mind".

"The question of, 'Did I know Ino was Minato's biological daughter?' I will admit I knew about the one night stand Nikko and him had, but I was certain you were Inoichi's. Minato hid that from about everyone. I think it was more to protect your mom than himself, you understand."

Ino nodded, that question had been the most important to her.

"What was he really like?" Naruto asked about their biological father.

"He was pretty simple, actually. A great man, very caring, loved the village to death. In spite of everything, loved Kushina to death. He really cared about everyone in this village. To tell you the truth, he was never "in love" with the idea of being a shinobi. If he had the chance to protect this village by giving it all up, he would of. But I'm not sure how the village would have fared if it went up against Kushina either." He gave a chuckle.

"Why is Naruto named Naruto?" Ino asked, wondering why he was given a ramen topping for a name.

"The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi."

"The what now?" They asked in unison.

"It was a book I wrote long ago, an adventure book about a man named Naruto who refused to give in and would break the cycle of war in his world. Minato was about the only person who liked the book, and so he and Kushina decided to name their son after him." He told them solemnly, remembering the day that it happened.

"Wait, wouldn't that make you Naruto's godfather? Isn't that how that stuff works?" Ino asked Jiraiya, causing Naruto's full attention to focus on him.

Jiraiya let out a sigh and nodded. "Yeah, I realized the same thing when they told me. I am Naruto's godfather. I haven't been able to do much about it because of my job."

"What's your job?" Naruto asked his godfather.

"I'm the best spy Konoha has so I am better anywhere but here, and I'm also tracking my old teammate. He went rogue years ago, he was actually pretty mad he didn't get chosen to be Yondaime. He did some terrible things, and now I have to keep track of what he is doing because I know he wants revenge on Konoha and Sarutobi-sensei about it."

The questions keep coming for a little while, before Nikko called them downstairs. Ino left first, leaving Naruto and Jiraiya alone to talk for a bit.

"So, as I bet you can guess, tomorrow morning I'm outta here. I wish I could stay around, but an old man like me probably would get in the way of this family you got for yourself, Naruto."

He nodded, understanding the fact. "It's okay, Pervy Godfather (Jiraiya grimaced at the nickname he had received being said yet again). You just gotta teach me something cool the next time you are around."

He let out a chuckle. "Don't worry about that. I already know what jutsu I'm gonna teach you then It was made up by your dad himself. And I'll teach Ino if she wants. But I bet you are stuck here doing nothing all the time when she is learning the Yamanaka jutsu, right?" Naruto nodded. Jiraiya pulled the scroll he was carrying off his back. "Well, as long as you focus most of your time on chakra control, can you tell me. What do you know about summonings?" Naruto eyes lit up in interest.

One signing and trip to the bathroom to rinse off the blood later, Naruto was drying his hands on his pants, hyped for when he could try summoning toads on his own. That tadpole was pathetic. That was when he heard the singing.

Happy Birthday to you. Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Naruto, happy birthday to you!

Ino, Nikko, Inoichi, Shikamaru, his parents, Chouji, his parents, Jiraiya, and Iruka were all standing there smiling, with Ino and Nikko holding a birthday cake that read "Happy 10th Birthday to Naruto."

Definitely his best birthday yet.