There was a sharp knock on Commander Erwin Smith's door. He looked up from the paperwork on his desk, deciding whether or not to answer. With a sigh, he relented.

"Come in,"

The door opened and a ray of light from the hallway flooded in, illuminating the room.

"Sir,"

In the doorway was a confused looking cadet. Red hair in a ponytail, golden eyes. Sasha Blouse. She saluted him, potato crumbs falling to the floor.

"What do you need? Is something on fire?"

"Not that I am aware of, sir," Sasha began. "I need to ask you a question."

What could be so serious that she had to ask the commander? There were plenty of senior soldiers around, and not all of them looked like they wanted to stab someone...

"This better be important. Quickly, please."

"Well... I just wanted to know... What's sex?"

Erwin must have looked like he saw a ghost. How could she so casually be asking that sort of question? Was this a joke? The unwavering expression on her face told him otherwise. She looked completely serious, she wasn't shaking or holding back laughter. She seemed genuinely curious.

There's something on fire now, Erwin thought. My dignity...

"Oi, Erwin-" Levi stopped behind Sasha in the doorway. "The fuck..."

"Sir, I was just asking the Commander to tell me what sex was, when he froze up and he won't talk anymore,"

"Uh..." Levi seemed unsure about what to do.

"But I guess I could ask you, because Connie said you and Eren had 'sex'."

"Tha-That's Irrevant..." The Corporal began to stutter.

"Or you could show me! I like to learn by watching," Sasha began. "Where's Eren, can you do it here? Is it like a dance move? A handshake?"

"OK OKIE YEP SHUT UP NOW,"

"But Corporal, I really want to know! It's making me really curious! Corporal?"

Now both of the men in the room were frozen.

"LEEEVIIII!" A maniac shout came from somewhere down the hallway. "Eren's waiting for you! What is taking you so-" Hange Zoe burst through the door, nearly plowing Sasha over. "Erwin... Levi? Sasha, care to tell me what happened?"

"I asked Commander Erwin what sex was and he froze up, then Levi showed up and I thought, He probably knows, Connie said he did it with Eren so I asked him to show me and he froze up too."

Hange's shrill laughter cut through the silence.

"C'mon Sasha, I'll tell you everything,"

"Okay!"

R.I.P. Erwin's and Levi's Digity, Sasha's innocence and all peace in the Survey Corps.

Sorry this is so short! I had writers block for the longest time! Had to force this chapter. I hope the next one's better!