Chapter Five - An Adjustment of Plans
Author's Notes:
I really need to go back and fix some typos in the previous chapters. I'm really sorry about that.
The medic was a sucker.
Soundwave had never expected to discover that about the legendary CMO of the Autobots. He'd expected him to be more sadistic than Motormaster, and crazier. There were a multitude of legends about Ratchet, some dating back to before the war. The one that stuck in Soundwave's mind, however, had happened at the beginning of hostilities. It had forever established Ratchet's reputation as a true warrior in Soundwave's mind.
Half a dozen Decepticon warriors had tried to kill the Autobot medics in their own camp during a pitched battle. The other medics had scattered, terrified. Some had been slain as they ran. Ratchet, however, had been working on an unconscious patient who had an arm-mounted cannon. He'd grabbed the patient's arm, without hesitation fired the cannon, and had killed all six warriors with startling efficiency and good aim.
And then he'd sent a politely worded text message to Megatron, expressing gratitude for the unexpected delivery of needed spare parts.
Soundwave had seen the message. Megatron, incensed, had slapped a printout of the message down on his desk and demanded that he see to Ratchet's demise. Soundwave had been secretly amused by the medic's black humor, but had dutifully made a good faith effort to schedule an assassination of the medic. Ratchet had proved far too wily to easily kill, and had never lacked weapons of his own after that day.
His aim with a laser rifle, and lightning quick reflexes, were very well known. He was also impossible to rattle, and seemed to react to attempts on his life with indignation rather than fear.
Therefore, he was stunned to think that it was the very same mech who'd held him last night, while he had an utterly embarrassing breakdown. He thought he'd figured Ratchet out, however, and he felt the first flickers of hope. He might just be able to use the medic's real nature to his own benefit.
Megatron had rejected him. Soundwave would have preferred to have returned to the Nemesis and found some way to make himself useful for his lord, but clearly, Megatron wasn't going to give him the chance. Megatron's actions towards Frenzy and himself made Soundwave very reluctant to ever give Megatron another opportunity. He wasn't particularly worried about his own welfare - a small part of him knew that oblivion would be a welcome release - but he had Frenzy to think about.
He needed someone who would find him valuable. Soundwave had survived through some very tough times by being efficient, loyal, and dependable. He had always found someone with power and influence and had dedicated himself to protecting them and making their life easier. It was always a win-win situation.
And now, he'd never been more desperate.
He watched as Ratchet rummaged through a somewhat disorganized cabinet.
Megatron had a vicious temper, and not much sentimentality. He valued that which was useful to him, and he could be cold-sparked and unsympathetic to anything that wasn't.
Ratchet had a temper that wasn't quite as nasty as Megatron's, and he was far more sentimental. He was, Soundwave had decided, quite a sucker. It wasn't a word he would use aloud (even had he been able to speak) but he could almost hear Rumble laughing and chanting it with gleeful discovery. Ratchet was someone who would champion an underdog, help the unfortunate, and empathize with the pain of others ... and want to fix it. That temper would be raised in the defense of those who couldn't defend themselves, and he wasn't always logical his attachments to others.
Soundwave could use that.
He would be that underdog. And he would be useful. He would make himself someone that Ratchet would value, defend, and champion. It would be a win-win relationship, of course. Soundwave would get a powerful boss he could trust and rely upon. Ratchet would find that Soundwave was a very efficient and valuable worker.
He'd observed a few things over the morning, as he'd watched the activity in the med bay, and was formulating a plan.
Ratchet, he'd noted, was badly overworked. He seemed to have one assistant - First Aid - and a couple part-time helpers, Wheeljack and a couple other engineers who pitched in for maintenance and minor repairs. Ratchet had been working from the moment he'd walked into the med bay. Soundwave couldn't read his chrono, but he was pretty sure it was very early in the morning when Ratchet had hauled him down to the med bay and deposited him in a chair.
He'd watched as Ratchet had done everything from change coolant (a task well below his pay grade!) to performing surgery on Blaster's cassette. Aside from taking time to briefly talk to Blaster, Ratchet had been in non-stop motion. He'd even drank his morning energon on the go, consuming swallows in between adjusting the calibration on Ironhide's shoulders and, apparently, yelling at Ironhide.
The medic seemed to be neat by inclination, but he was just too busy to keep things organized in practice. He had stacks of datapads, boxes of parts, and tubs of tools scattered about in a sort of chaotic order. Things were sorted, and generally clean, but not organized. He'd watched Ratchet rummage about in boxes a couple of times as he sought a socket or a screwdriver in a specific size.
Soundwave was forming a plan,while watching him. His first action, shaky balance or no, would be to make himself useful cleaning. Even if he had to lean on furniture or sweep while sitting on a rolling chair he expected he could tidy up a bit. From there, he would find other ways to lessen Ratchet's work load. He wanted the medic to value having him around.
The med bay doors swished open, admitting Bluestreak, who was cradling his hand to his chest. Ratchet had been scrubbing a medical berth down with detergent, but looked up at Bluestreak's entry. He scowled, vented a frustrated sounding hiss, and pointed at the other berth. Bluestreak winced visibly, but seated himself.
Soundwave craned his neck to see what the damage was. Bluestreak had popped a screw loose on a finger, and it was visibly bent to one side. Wires sparked, torn loose from either small actuators or sensor pads. To fix that, he knew from experience, Ratchet was going to need a new screw, a screwdriver, a replacement finger hinge, a soldering gun, and some wire.
He'd found a hand in Ratchet's desk drawer earlier. He had hoped it was not from a dead mech, though given how tight everyone was for parts, he supposed that was possible. More likely, though, Ratchet had upgraded or replaced somebody's hand and kept the old one for spare parts.
Soundwave retrieved the hand, verified it was the right size, and by the time Ratchet looked up from inspecting the damage, he had the hinge free. Ratchet stared at him.
He smiled behind his face plate, knowing Ratchet couldn't see the expression. Soundwave was not stupid. He was perfectly capable of figuring out what parts a medic would need.
He added a screw, wires, sensors, and an appropriately sized screwdriver to the pile. Ratchet kept glancing in his direction, optical ridges raising ever higher. After he finished the exam of Bluestreak's hand, he walked over and looked at the pile, then up at Soundwave, then back down at the assembled bits. Then he reached into a drawer, pulled a brush out, and handed the brush and a bottle of detergent to Soundwave and pointed at the sink and at the hinge. Then he grinned.
That grin was unexpected. It was so approving. He reacted with a reflexive smile behind his mask, startled by how good it felt to have the medic's approval. Then he reminded himself to maintain a sharp level of detachment. It would be too easy to be seduced into thinking the Autobot a friend. He'd learned a long time ago that there were no friends outside his bonded symbionts, only allies that he granted varying amounts of trust.
He hoped to earn Ratchet's approval, sympathy, and even his loyalty. He reminded himself not to get emotionally attached himself.
The sink was several strides away, and that was a somewhat intimidating distance given how unstable he still felt. Still, if it would please the mech he hoped to make his new master, it was worth the risk of a humiliating fall. Soundwave picked the finger joint up and used the wall for balance, taking one cautious step at a time.
Behind him, Bluestreak said something that sounded worried. Ratchet responded with a comment that was short and sharp, and then a longer-winded explanation. When Soundwave made it to the sink and risked a look back, Ratchet had moved his exam to Bluestreak's wrist. Whatever the gunner had done that had damaged his finger could certainly have caused additional damage, and Ratchet was clearly checking for other issues. Bluestreak, eyes narrowed, watched him suspiciously over Ratchet's shoulder.
Soundwave thought, Not a threat, just a servant, and tried to look very servant-like. He kept his shoulders relaxed, his face downturned (even though he was looking up through his visor at them, they couldn't see his optics) and his hands open at his sides. He had long practice with submissive body language.
While still warily regarding the Autobot soldier, he started scrubbing the part down. He was well aware that it needed to be free of grease and dirt before Ratchet soldered sensor wires to it. After vigorous application of detergent, he squirted it with solvent and rinsed that off.
He was inspecting the part carefully for any residual grunge when Ratchet padded over and clapped him happily on the arm. Ratchet smiled approvingly at him, grabbed the part and the supplies he'd piled on the desk, and then went back to Bluestreak. Bluestreak looked at the part like it might bite him, and Ratchet laughed at him.
Soundwave smiled behind his mask, pleased with himself. He couldn't understands the words but it was clear that Ratchet was defending him and teasing the young soldier.
Frenzy said something across the bond, probably curious about Soundwave's pleasant emotion. He'd been pretty negative for a couple of days. Soundwave very nearly fell down in surprise when he understood a single word. :sdf!Gqqq! boss htKK!5ss ...:
:Frenzy?: he said, cautiously, but elated. He'd heard that single word, and it meant all the world.
:... can you ddghhkkk! me?: Soaring hope hit him as Frenzy, clearly, did understand his name.
:Soundwave ...: his name came out as static. He tried again, and this time, managed to say, :Soundwave hears.:
:Boss, hold on. I'll be there in a second!:
It was as clear as a bell. He laughed aloud, something that made Bluestreak jump and Ratchet narrow his eyes in suspicion. He tried speaking, "Soundwave ... ffffkkkT!"
He needed, it seemed, to speak slower or the data stream of language overwhelmed whatever tiny connection his autorepair had made. He tried again, patiently, "Soundwave ... understands ... a little."
Ratchet hopped up and padded over. He didn't catch anything the medic said, though it sounded delighted. He said, "Slower ... speak ... slower."
Ratchet said, voice clear and slow, "This is excellent, Soundwave. Your autorepair will build on that connection."
He realized, belatedly, that he could read his HUD again. In fact, he'd been able to understand the words for several minutes. It was such a part of him, so natural, he hadn't realized that the ability had come back. He smirked behind his mask. "Megatron ... fool. Soundwave get back most functions now, yes?"
"C'mon." Ratchet caught his arm. "Lean on me. We need to go talk. Bluestreak, I pinged First Aid. He'll finish your hand. If you don't mind, I want to talk to ..."
A small blur shot through the doorway, and skidded to a halt. All he heard from Frenzy was a fierce burst of static. Frenzy made a move like he intended to hug Soundwave, but he pulled himself up short, and said, :dfsd$$ talk DFGjjjkk Soundwave you can DGdfgf!:
He mentally filled in the blanks and decided that the kid had said something like, 'You can talk! Soundwave, you can talk!' With a smile behind his mask he said, "A little."
His own voice sounded odd - static laden and thick, with weird tonalities. He wasn't sure if he was pronouncing things incorrectly or if he was simply not processing the sounds right. Input or output errors? Or both? The latter was all too frighteningly unlikely.
His optical input fritzed out briefly, making him tense in surprise. For a moment, he saw only white and gold and purple visual static.
Still, right now, as it stood, he thought he'd regained enough function to ... function. And he had a wild, thrilling hope that he might get more. He wouldn't be a cripple. He wouldn't be forever isolated in his own head.
Blaster's feline symbiont trotted through the doorway. Frenzy spun, saw him, and launched himself at the other cassette. He threw his arms around Steeljaw's neck and shouted something too fast for Soundwave to begin to process. Clearly, that was the hug that Frenzy had wanted to give Soundwave, redirected to a new target. Frenzy wasn't much more touchy-feely than Soundwave himself was, though, and Soundwave realized just how badly Frenzy must have been affected.
The Autobot cassette rocked back on his heels and for a moment, Soundwave was afraid he'd react with violence. However, Steeljaw simply sat up on his back legs, and wrapped both forelegs around Frenzy's shoulders. In a much calmer and slower tone of voice he said, "I'm really glad for you, Frenzy."
:Frenzy,: he said, alarmed for reasons he couldn't begin to identify, :Behavior, inappropriate. Autobot, not friend.:
:Awwwww!: Frenzy let go of Steeljaw. :I like him. I wish he was a 'con.:
:We are no longer Decepticons.: He'd decided that with very little difficulty. :Megatron, betrayed. Neutrals.:
:You're not gonna try to get back into Megatron's good graces again?:
:No. Damage, extensive. Defensive abilities, minimal. Usefulness, compromised. Status, lost. Decepticon enemies, many. Megatron, no loyalty to us despite faithful service. Unsafe to return. And, angry at Megatron. For what he did to you.:
:Eh, can't say as I haven't been making the same calculations.: Frenzy pushed himself free from Steeljaw, a bit roughly. "Okay, mouse breath, I'm all done with my emotional moment."
"Mouse breath?" Steeljaw breathed, with amusement in his voice. But he let Frenzy free.
:Boss, it is so good to fgsdfkjg your voice again.: Frenzy stood before him, looking up at him. :I don't wgfdgsdsss how much you understood. Optimus says we can stay. I'm working on dfsd! maintenance. It's easy work. Steeljaw dfsdgkkk!kk were doing pest control this ddfkkdbs.:
Hence, Soundwave concluded, the 'mouse breath' comment. He'd have to get the entire story from Frenzy later. It would be so very good to sit down with Frenzy and just listen to him chatter. He'd often found Frenzy's ability to talk about the most inane of things annoying - Soundwave was not prone to small talk - but he'd never again resent the distraction that Frenzy sometimes represented.
:Do not trust them,: he cautioned, firmly. :They are enemies.:
:Duh. I'd trust Autobots ffkkk! Decepticons, though!:
With every burst of static, snow clouded his optical input. He frowned, not liking that effect. There was also a buzzing sensation in his head. Slowly, he said, "Ratchet, I think ..."
Noise roared. All he could see was gold and purple static snow. He tried to cry out but couldn't tell if he'd made a noise. He didn't realize he was falling until he impacted the ground with stunning force.
Errors screamed through his processor, and for a moment he could read them. To his terror, they were critical errors, warning of a cascade failure. He was going into a hard crash.
:Frenzyyyy!: he screamed into the bond, not knowing if his symbiont would hear him. There wasn't a thing Frenzy could do, but he wanted to hear Frenzy's voice. He wanted to know Frenzy was there, with him. :Don't leave me, don't leave me ...:
He couldn't even detect Frenzy's response. He was completely alone inside the howling chaos of his mind.
He didn't want to lose consciousness entirely, for he was desperately afraid he'd never wake. Against his will, terrified, oblivion swallowed him.
His last thought was that he didn't want to die.
Frenzy knew it was bad when Ratchet started swearing.
One minute, Soundwave was back. Talking. Giving him very welcome orders. Being himself. Frenzy's relief had been incredible.
And then the next moment, Soundwave's visor went dark. He'd taken one staggering step and then crashed to the ground, limbs first utterly limp and then suddenly rigid. Frenzy could feel Soundwave's terror for a nanoclick, he sensed Soundwave screaming for him, and then ... nothing.
"SLAG!" Ratchet had shouted. Then he'd snarled something encrypted over his comm that got him an instant response from multiple other mechs. Frenzy, trained by the best communications expert that the Decepticons had, automatically picked Optimus's frequency and Wheeljack's out of the mix, shortly followed by Prowl and Perceptor, then Skyfire. Had this been normal times, in the field, that sort of response to a message would have told him it was important.
At the moment, however, he was too stunned-scared-shocked to even think and he dismissed decrypting the message in exchange for demanding, "What's wrong? What's wrong?"
"Get him out of here!" Ratchet snarled at nobody in particular, but clearly meaning get Frenzy out.
"No!" He protested. "Like slag, no, you can't ..."
"GET OUT!" Ratchet turned to him, fury in his voice.
Frenzy rocked back on his heels, and then his own anger surfaced. "DAMN YOU!"
A pair of strong hands - articulated paws - not much larger than his own rested on his shoulders. He spun to fight, to strike out, to maim and to kill. Steeljaw wasn't really built for embracing anyone, but he managed to pull Frenzy to him. "Shh. Let Ratchet work. He doesn't want you here because he'll be distracted."
Behind them, Soundwave's legs spasmed, knocking over a chair. Ratchet swore again.
"Let's go." Steeljaw tried to guide him towards the door.
"NO!"
"Yes." Steeljaw nudged him towards the door harder.
He didn't have the strength to resist, though part of him was very angry at Steeljaw for taking him away. He barely registered Steeljaw telling Ratchet that they'd be in his quarters. He heard Soundwave's legs drumming on the ground. There was an awful, echoing silence across the bond. Soundwave wasn't just unconscious, he was in deep stasis lock ... no, this was worse than stasis lock. Something was very, very wrong.
Blaster opened the door as they approached his quarters. Blue optics, wide with concern, regarded both of them. It was that look that ended Frenzy's anger. Blaster's expression was full of real worry. Nobody had ever cared about him but his siblings and Shockwave, but Blaster was a carrier too, and he understood on a level that most mechs just couldn't.
Blaster's other symbionts crowded around his knees, looking past his legs at Frenzy and Steeljaw. He knew by the looks they were trading that they were chattering excitedly amongst themselves. He felt a whole new wave of pain as he remembered gossiping with his own lost siblings.
"C'mon, Frenzy." Steeljaw padded past Blaster. "Boss, do we have any energon?"
"I'll get some," Blaster said. Then he crouched down briefly, and rested a hand on Frenzy's shoulder. "Frenzy, listen to me. Whatever happens, you've got a place here. You won't be alone. If need be, you can stay with me and my gang for a bit, okay?"
"I think Soundwave's gonna die," Frenzy whispered.
"Ratchet," Steeljaw replied, with confidence in his voice, "isn't going to let him do that. Ratchet works miracles."
Blaster met Frenzy's eyes. Frenzy shook his head. "I can't even feel ... he's there, but it's like he's not."
"Steeljaw, stay with him." Blaster squeezed Frenzy's shoulder. "I'll get some fuel."
After Blaster - and the rest of his pack of little mechs - had left the room, Steeljaw guided him to the room's couch. "C'mon, kiddo." Steeljaw hopped up on it. "All you can do is wait, now. You'll know before the rest of us when Ratchet succeeds."
"I don't want to live without them," Frenzy said. He sat on the edge of the couch and wondered if it would be okay if he leaned against Steeljaw. It would be a little like curling up with his siblings. Then he decided it would just be too weird, and a painful reminder of what he'd lost. He leaned back against the cushions instead, shut his optics off, and tried to focus on the thin thread of a bond that belonged to Soundwave.
Steeljaw didn't say anything for a long moment. When he spoke, his voice was lower than usual. "I get that. They don't understand, do they, what it is like?"
Without being told, Frenzy knew that it was so-called 'normal' mechs who didn't understand. He shuttered his optics. These Autobots might be insanely kind and Primusly saintly in their offer to - what, keep him company? - but it wouldn't replace his siblings and master. He changed the subject slightly. "No, they don't understand what the bond is like. You know, Starscream once tried to get me to betray Soundwave so he could assassinate him and Megatron."
Steeljaw snorted. "He'd have been smarter to try to get Soundwave to betray Megatron."
"Oh, that wouldn't have happened. Soundwave is loyal. Was loyal." Frenzy shook his head. "Starscream likened the bond to slavery. He assumed I secretly resented being bound, that I wanted my freedom, and that was an angle he could use to turn me against my own master. I reacted about as you'd expect I'd react ..."
"How much swearing?"
"About blew out my vocalizer." He glanced over at Steeljaw, amused despite everything.
The feline cassette grinned toothily. "You can't claim I don't know your vocabulary, kiddo. I've heard you and Rumble over the airwaves often enough."
He hunched his shoulders. The mention of his brother hurt.
Steeljaw reached a paw out, and for the first time, Frenzy really looked at that limb. He was surprised to see that the cat's paws transformed into hands. Steeljaw squeezed his arm. "... I bet you told Starscream off, and then told Soundwave all about it."
"I told Soundwave first, actually, and then cussed Starscream out. Starscream beat the slag out of me, and Soundwave barely got there in time." Frenzy smirked. Soundwave had been almost as furious at him for mouthing off to Starscream as he had been angry at Starscream, but the dents had been worth it. "Soundwave might have been outranked by Starscream, but Megatron didn't say a thing when Soundwave damn near killed Starscream. Only reason Soundwave didn't finish him was that he didn't want to be second in command."
"He didn't want that?"
"Naw."
"Why?" Steeljaw sounded genuinely curious.
"Lots of reasons. He'd be in the direct line of fire for Megatron's temper, he'd have had to deal with commanding the seekers - which no sane mech would want to do - and he'd have had far more duties than espionage and communications. Being Megatron's favorite spies kept us alive, y'know? We always knew when the slag was going down."
Steeljaw chuckled.
Frenzy continued, with a shrug, "And we did want Starscream as second. Shockwave would have been the other option for second in command, if Soundwave declined. Dunno about you, but I'd rather have Starscream as a boss than Shockwave, any day."
"Crazy versus blatantly sociopathic. Yeah, I can see that." Steeljaw nodded. "I bet Starscream was easier to manipulate, too. Your boss's survival odds would definitely go down with Shockwave, if he got it into his head that Soundwave was a threat to him."
Frenzy stretched his legs out and stared at his feet for a moment, before nodding. He mused, "Autobot politics are so much less deadly."
That earned him a real laugh. "True, though Jazz can be damned scary if you piss him off."
"Jazz, not Prowl?" Prowl was in charge of base discipline, as far as he could recall.
"Prowl's predictable and consistent." Steeljaw grinned. "Jazz, not so much, and he's a lot less tolerant of stupidity."
The conversation was a welcome distraction. He could have kissed Steeljaw for letting him go off on a tangent. He was trying to wrap his head around the apparently popular and sociable commander being the bad guy when the door opened again. Blaster padded back into the room alone, without his pack of cassettes, and sat down on the couch. He quietly handed Frenzy a cube.
"I'm not hungry." He stared into container, frowning.
"Eat, kid. You need to fuel." Blaster patted him on the arm.
"Of course, if you don't want it ..." Steeljaw reached out for the energon.
That triggered Frenzy's competitive streak. He'd been short on rations for far too many years to be willing to share. He gulped the fuel down quickly, and without really thinking about it. He'd been mostly protected from harassment from bigger mechs, given who his carrier was, but he'd still lost his lunch often enough to take an implied threat to steal his energon seriously.
The feline's eyes were very knowing. He said, "You know, we do have enough to go around, and I was only teasing a little."
"... Sorry."
"Don't apologize. I've been there." Steeljaw smiled. "Got you to drink it, didn't I?"
He sighed. The gentle, friendly banter - and it was friendly - did nothing to take away the awful, awful emptiness in his spark. He'd been distracted for a moment, but the pain was back, a hundred times over.
Blaster said quietly, "You okay, Steelie?"
Surprised that Blaster was concerned about his own symbiont, Frenzy glanced over at the feline. Steeljaw favored Frenzy with a crooked smile. "Blaster knows I'm not, of course. This brings back some horrible memories of my own."
"Oh."
"Steeljaw lost his first master a long time ago." Blaster reached a hand around Frenzy to caress Steeljaw's head. Steeljaw leaned into that touch, eyes closing.
"Oh." He didn't want to hear about anyone else's losses. His own just hurt too much.
"And he shouldn't pick on you about being short on fuel." Blaster's arm bumped Frenzy's shoulders as he stroked his symbiont's ruff. It was the sort of casual touching that Frenzy had enjoyed between himself and his siblings and Soundwave and it made him flinch internally. He sat very still, trying not to show how much it bothered him.
"Remember how I found you?" Blaster asked Steeljaw, clearly for Frenzy's benefit.
Steeljaw groaned. "There wasn't any work for me on the colony world where my ... where they died. I didn't have any of my mods then," he wiggled his fingers, "So even though I have a university education as an architect, the only work I could find was as a, shall we say, enforcer. I refused to 'enforce' for the local criminal element and the good guys wouldn't hire me. I ended up scrounging for fuel in the local junk yards, finding energon in old equipment tanks and the like. Sometimes I had to steal it. I was about to offline from lack of maintenance and, well, sheer damn loneliness when an Autobot ship stopped for supplies."
That got a chuckle from Blaster. "Yeah. Imagine my shock when this dented, dirty symbiont limped up to the ship and asked if we'd fuel him up in exchange for guard duty. He was so beat down that all he asked for was a full tank and he'd keep the riff-raff off."
"I probably looked like I was the riff-raff. I expected they'd run me off like everyone else did. I'd been shot the day before, when I tried to drain some fuel from the tank of a broken drone, so I had this big plasma scar across my face plates and my shoulder joint was trashed. Figured it was worth asking, though." Steeljaw shrugged. "The worst they could do was kill me, and I was about to die from fuel deprivation anyway."
Blaster started stroking Steeljaw's neck again. "I'm not sure you could have kept the riff-raff off, the condition you were in."
"Oh, I think I'd have managed." Steeljaw grinned toothily.
"Anyway, Frenzy, I'm sure I don't have to tell you how carriers feel about symbionts - even those that aren't their own. Steelie, of course, wasn't looking for a new master ... but under that dirt I saw somebody I kinda wanted to get to know. Once I found out how he'd been living on his own, and that nobody had been willing to help him out, well, the rest is history."
The two exchanged a look over Frenzy's head.
Frenzy knew those looks, full of shared history and emotion and love. The bond between a symbiont and a carrier was like no other. It wasn't about passion, like the love between partners, and it wasn't like the love between parent and child. Symbionts chose who they bonded to, and it was a relationship born of respect and mutual compatibility. You relied upon each other; carriers provided safety and status, and symbionts supported them in a thousand ways. The bond was about being able to rely upon other people utterly; to trust them, to love them. In his case, he'd been bound to his siblings and Soundwave for thousands of years. He knew them better than he knew himself.
He would not cry in front of them. He would not show how much the reminder of what they had, and what he didn't have, hurt him. Didn't they know how insensitive it was to talk of this? He could imagine what it must have been like for Steeljaw.
He and Rumble had been just as desperate when Soundwave caught up to them. Soundwave had offered to bond with them not because he felt sorry for them, or because he felt altruistically compelled to do so. He had genuinely liked them, enough that he legally purchased them from the estate (an estate he'd been cheated of) and granted them their freedom specifically so that they could come to him of their free choice. This was not altruistic; cassettes chose who they bonded with, something absolutely core to the culture they had all been raised in. A bond could not be coerced, and a slave, by definition, was not free to chose his own destiny.
He'd spent what little money he had inherited from his bondmate's estate on their freedom before he found them, actually. They had been free mechs long before he found them, and they had never known it. They'd lived in hiding without needing to, because they had thought they were classed as escaped slaves.
Soundwave didn't care much for mechs other than his own symbionts, but he had made every effort to impress them with his fairness, and his ability to provide for them. Soundwave was like that. He didn't say much, but his actions spoke far more loudly than his words.
He still remembered the moment the bond had settled into place. He'd been born a spark twin. He knew what it was like to share threads of his thoughts and emotions with another. Yet when five other minds had touched theirs, it had been utter completion.
Soundwave had been dominant and assured in himself; Frenzy had easily accepted his leadership, and trusted instinctively in his love.
Ravage, by contrast, was snarky and sour, but with a grudging sense of fair play and a fierce protective streak. He had been a better judge of character than anyone else Frenzy had ever known.
The birds were full of joy and life. Both were curious, playful. Buzzsaw had been a sly practical joker, and Laserbeak had taught him to love flight by encouraging him to piggyback on her sensors. Laserbeak, the more open of the two, had often let him piggyback on her sensor input when she flew. He'd learned the joy of open space beneath his - her - wings, and the thrill of daredevil maneuvers as she dodged enemy fire or simply swooped and dove through natural obstacles. She had truly loved the freedom of flying.
Buzzsaw had been fiercely private, seldom sharing his innermost thoughts with anything but his twin. However, when he did open up, his devotion and loyalty to them had been unquestioning, and even when he rarely spoke his mind, his fondness for them all had come through across the bond with every emotion he felt. None of them had held his need for privacy against him. It was just who he was.
And then there had been Ratbat. Frenzy had never learned Ratbat's story. Ratbat didn't talk about it, and Soundwave wouldn't say. Ratbat had not been created a symbiont, though he'd willingly joined the bond. It was unusual for someone not sparked into their world to bond with a carrier; most outsiders didn't understand. It was a cultural thing, a programming thing, and even a hardware thing. Carriers and symbionts had their own world and few outsiders ever joined it. However, Ratbat had found his place with them.
The seven of them had been a team and a family, tied together in ways no outsider could ever understand.
When Steeljaw glanced up at Blaster, eyes narrowing, and Blaster quirked one optic ridge upwards, and then Steeljaw slid down to rest his head on his forelegs with a huffed sigh, Frenzy flinched, this time visibly. He drew his knees up to his chest and he closed his eyes and made not crying his goal. He saw, in those subtle exchanges, memories of everything he'd lost.
They probably meant to be kind. Instead, the more he sat with them, reminded of what he'd lost, the more it hurt. Soundwave was dying, he knew it in his spark ... he was going to be alone.
Ravage. Buzzsaw. Laserbeak. Ratbat.
Rumble.
And Soundwave, the center of his world, the foundation, the rock, that anchored them all. Soundwave was dying. Soundwave was going to leave him utterly alone.
Steeljaw rose up, inched closer, and rested his chin on Frenzy's shoulder. He said quietly, "I'm here."
"He's going to die," Frenzy whispered.
And then, in sheer perverse denial of his words, Soundwave's presence in his spark flared. :FRENZY!: Soundwave shouted.
:Boss, boss, boss, you're alive, you're talking, you ...!:
:Get out!: Soundwave screamed, terror and pain and rage. :Run, Frenzy, get out! They're hacking me!:
:What?:
The bond flared as wide as Soundwave had ever allowed it, unregulated by any conscious control. Suddenly, he was aware of a mind that didn't belong, touching his through Soundwave's processor. :Slaggit!: The stranger snarled, impatient and frustrated. :Stop fighting me, you idiot!:
:Frennnzyyyy!: Soundwave screamed, :Get out! Betrayed! Run!:
The stranger snapped, :I'm not trying to betray you, I'm trying to save your life!:
:Get out!: Soundwave was screaming, :Out, out, out!:
Frenzy had never known Soundwave to come unglued like this. His words had the force of an order, one delivered with every ounce of authority that Soundwave had ever possessed. He was halfway to the door when a heavy weight pinned him down. Hot hair rushed over his neck as Steeljaw closed his teeth around Frenzy's shoulder.
"Woah!" Blaster was there a nanoclick later. "Where do you think you're going, little bot?"
"Let go of me!" He drove his elbow backwards, into a sensitive point between Steeljaw's neck plating, aiming for nerve wires The larger cassette let go with a muffled yelp, and Frenzy thrashed, trying to get free. He was at least Steeljaw's equal in a fight!
Steeljaw closed his forelegs around Frenzy, not in an attack but simple restraint. Then Blaster was kneeling beside them, and the big carrier mech pulled Frenzy free. He aimed a punch at Blaster's optics when Blaster picked him up and Steeljaw snarled in reflexive reaction to Blaster's alarm. Blaster, however, managed to control himself. He said firmly, "Frenzy, calm down."
"They're hacking him! Did you think I wouldn't know? Slag you all!"
:Run!: Soundwave screamed, :Run, Frenzy, go! Get out!:
"Shh." Blaster had him in an unbreakable grip, clutched to his chest. Without his weapons, he had no hope of getting free from Blaster. "Shh, little mech."
:Damn them!: Soundwave clearly knew that Frenzy was being restrained. :Fight! Fight, Frenzy! Get free! Fight, fight!:
Soundwave's fury threatened to overwhelm him.
"Slag you!" He wailed. "Slag you all, this is all your fault. You people planned this. You did this to him! Slag you! Slag you!"
Blaster settled back onto the couch. Steeljaw circled them, optics narrowed, fans running hard. Frenzy watched him warily over the immovable barricade of Blaster's arm, reminded so painfully of Ravage. Ravage had been just as protective of Soundwave. Any of them would have died for Soundwave, but Ravage was especially fierce in his defense.
"Steeljaw, settle down." Blaster patted the couch beside him, still holding Frenzy pinned to his chest with one hand. "C'mere."
The cassette hopped up. Frenzy glared at him, "Frag you all!"
:Get out!: Soundwave screamed, but Frenzy wasn't sure if that was aimed at the alien presence in his mind or an order to Frenzy to escape. Maybe both. He wasn't sure if he wanted to run or to find Soundwave and tear whoever was hurting him to pieces. He might die trying, but life without Soundwave wasn't worth living - and surely they would kill him after they stripped his mind. Or worse, they could reformat him, and replace his damaged processor with a new one. Frenzy would then be quantum bound to a new sparkling with Soundwave's spark and with the mind of a child.
That was a terrible, terrible thought.
Blaster fell silent for a moment, then his hold on Frenzy tightened. "Wheeljack says that Ratchet's hacked him."
"No shit," Frenzy ground out. "You think I can't feel that? I thought I could trust ... slaggit, I was so stupid!"
"Shh, kiddo." Steeljaw rested his chin on Frenzy's shoulder. "Shh."
"Don't touch me!"
:They're going to hurt you! Run!: The order was so strong from Soundwave that Frenzy tried to break free. He succeeded only in stressing his joints and nearly stripping some gears as he fought against Blaster, who was far stronger than he was.
"Woah!" Blaster changed his grip, allowing Frenzy to flail about. "Frenzy, calm down!"
"They're killing him!"
:FRENZY!: Soundwave's mental scream this time was a desperate appeal for help. He was terrified beyond all rational measure, begging his own symbiont to rescue him.
:Damnit!: The alien mind snarled. :Soundwave, you glitch, stop fighting me! It's me!:
The stranger dropped quite a few firewalls with those words, somewhat of a risky move with any terrified patient, and with Soundwave in particular. Under other circumstances, Soundwave could have obliterated his mind in a nanoclick of time with that little protection. However, Soundwave was not really coherent; Frenzy was as panicked by the fact that Soundwave was reacting with pure emotion and little analysis as he was by the attack. Something was very badly wrong. The awful silence earlier had been better than this unreasoning terror.
Frenzy was swept along for the ride as Soundwave tried to attack the stranger with a rather ineffective and badly executed assault. Frenzy, frustrated and terrified, screamed obscenities at the stranger in every language he knew.
And then ... something strange happened. The stranger's firewalls kept coming down, voluntarily. Soundwave could see sense more and more of the stranger. Frenzy could feel him too, and the other mech's emotions were unexpected. Amid the frustration and aggressiveness was a fierce desire to help, and a terrible worry not just for Soundwave but for Frenzy too.
It was that concern for Frenzy that convinced Soundwave to trust the stranger, at least a little. He stopped fighting and asked cautiously, :Who?:
:This is Ratchet, you idiot. I'm right next to you but your sensors are all kaput at the moment.: Ratchet sounded disgruntled , but reassuringly confident. :And Frenzy, I know you can hear me. I took his firewalls down hoping you'd talk some sense into him. So start talking.:
He froze. He didn't know what to say.
Soundwave spoke first, thoughts thick with pain and confusion. :Frenzy?:
:Here, boss. Glad you can understand me.:
:Something is wrong.:
:No slag,: that was the medic. :Soundwave, you had a cascade failure. Damn near offlined on us. I'm rebuilding your code from the inside. I need you to work with me and not fight.:
:... Backup?: Soundwave sounded confused.
:Presumably you have one on the Nemesis,: Ratchet snapped. :I can't exactly see Megatron handing it over.:
:... Ask?: Soundwave sounded pitifully like a sparkling. Frenzy winced at the tone. It was almost innocent in its hope. :... Megatron ... does care. About me.:
:Boss,: Frenzy said, :Megatron's not going to hand over your backup code to the Autobots. It's got way too much classified slag mixed in it.:
:Oh.: Soundwave fell silent. Unspoken was the fact that Ratchet was getting a processor full of Decepticon secrets as he worked.
:Soundwave, buddy, stay with me here.: Ratchet spoke up. :I know you're probably ready for some recharge here, but I need you to keep processing data so I can find the errors and trace down the bad code. This is the worst mess I've ever tried to fix the hard way.:
:What ... happened?:
:Hardware problem. Your auto-repair nanytes didn't put something back together right. It caused a fault that introduced errors into your code. Your operating system was already a mess, and you crashed hard:
Soundwave seemed to think this over. He simply felt exhausted to Frenzy, now, as if the terror had abruptly burnt out of him.
:Hey. Don't give up, buddy. I can fix your operating system. It's just going to take me some time.: Ratchet sounded genuinely concerned.
:Why?: Soundwave asked the question that Frenzy had also been wondering. He seemed a bit lost as he clarified, :Why do you care?:
:Because I do,: Ratchet answered simply. Accompanied with that was a sense of who the mech was; his strength, his compassion, his assertiveness, and a keen sense of morality that went through to the very core of his spark. He was a mech who could make very hard life or death decisions without hesitation, based purely on numbers and practical analysis of a situations ... and then would mourn later. He drank too much, yelled too much, and often expected the worst from his peers - but he was strong, for all of that.
Frenzy felt Soundwave reacted to the mix of compassion and honor and strength with sudden trust. Soundwave relaxed utterly, letting down emotional walls. He stated, :You care.:
:I do.: Ratchet seemed distracted, suddenly. :You keep getting new errors, Soundwave ... I'm trying to sort this out. I thought we had a software patch in place before we brought you online ...:
:SomethkkDAuuuhthtk?:
The connection dissolved into static. Frenzy groaned aloud. Something was wrong. Ratchet would fix it, he assumed. Ratchet had fixed him once. He could do it again.
And then, abruptly, there was nothing but darkness and oblivion where Soundwave's spark had been.
He screamed in horror.
A body pressed against him. He was sandwiched against Blaster's chest as he screamed and screamed. Soundwave was gone. The other mech pressed against him, and Blaster shifted one arm so he was holding both of them.
... A flicker.
... A flicker of a bond. There. Not gone. Faint, but there. Back.
He realized he was still screaming, and stopped, and burst into sobbing wails. "I just want him to be better!" he wailed into Blaster's chest.
Blaster was murmuring something and rocking back and forth, stroking his back. He realized he wasn't the only one crying when he heard soft keening cries next to him. Voice strained with emotion he demanded of Steeljaw, "Why the slag are you crying?"
Steeljaw shook his head, unable to speak aloud.
Blaster said quietly, "He says to tell you that he's remembering losing his first master. This is bringing a lot back for him. He says he's sorry."
Oh, slag. He'd forgotten what Blaster had told him of Steeljaw's history. "Don't ... don't be sorry." Impulsively, he twisted around and put his arms around Steeljaw's neck. Here was somebody who really, really understood his fear. He clung to him and Steeljaw leaned harder against him. Frenzy whispered, "He's still alive. He crashed again. I thought he was gone. I think Ratchet brought him back, somehow."
"Yeah, I asked Wheeljack what happened. He said that they're hunting down another hardware glitch." Blaster's hand rubbed his back. "You okay now, kiddo? You were living up to your name for a bit, there."
"Sorry." It felt absurdly good to be squished between the two of them, and he felt guilty for taking comfort from an Autobot. They'd done this to Soundwave.
Steeljaw nuzzled his neck. In a voice made harsh by his own cries he murmured, "Ratchet will save him. You watch."
"Yeah. I'm just so alone."
"I know," Steeljaw said, simply. He met the other symbiont's blue-eyed gaze for a moment in a moment of pure, shared understanding. Steeljaw raised an articulated paw up and stroked his jaw. "I know, Frenzy."