Fili held his hand out to Sigrid. She stepped forward and took it graciously, and he led her past the packed tables of wedding guests to the honour table at the top of the Great Hall.
"What on earth are you wearing?" he murmured. "I thought Mother was dressing you."
Sigrid smiled out at the crowd in the hall and answered Fili through gritted teeth. "She did."
Fili glanced down at Sigrid's dress again. It was a monstrosity. Made for a bride of much wider proportions than Sigrid, it looked like nothing so much as a potato sack made out of white damask, tied around her waist in a vain attempt to make it fit her slender form, which caused it to billow out haphazardly in unflattering lumps and bulges. But worse than the billowing bunches of material was the pattern. Large embroidered anvils and hammers vied with pickaxes and spades, picked out in gaudy reds, yellows, greens and blues, in alternating row upon row of hideousness.
Fili was horrified. "Please tell me my mother did not make you wear that."
"No, she didn't," said Sigrid, still staring straight out at the crowd, her smile fixed determinedly in place. "I had a lovely dress, and your mother did my hair and jewels, but on the way here I was bailed up by your Great Aunt Vos. 'Sure,' I said, 'of course, I'd be honoured if you added a few dwarven touches to my dress tonight, Great Aunt Vos.' You've brought it especially from the Blue Mountains? Sure, I said. The latest fashion? Absolutely, I said. It would be my pleasure, I said. There was no backing out once I saw it."
Fili stifled a sudden urge to laugh, knowing it could not possibly end well for him if he did. "Well, you look lovely to me, no matter what you're wearing."
She turned to him, her eyelashes fluttering and her smile sweet. Dangerously sweet. "Thank you, my love. I'm so pleased to be looking my best for you on our wedding feast day." She turned back to the crowd, nodding and smiling and graciously waving a hand in acknowledgement, and allowed Fili to hand her to her seat.
Trays of food started to come out from the kitchens, and as they were passed down the honour table, Fili piled up his and Sigrid's plates with delicious-looking roast meats and vegetables. He assumed that the kitchen staff would have, as usual, outdone themselves with the excellent fare, but it was difficult to judge, as the happy couple were prevented from eating their meal by the constant stream of guests that insisted on interrupting them to offer their good wishes.
"Sigrid, this is Dain's daughter Marni."
A sharp-faced dwarf lass leaned over the table towards Fili. "Congratulations, you two! Here, give us a kiss, Fili. What a dress, Sigrid. It's so… different. You lucky thing." Fili couldn't tell if Marni was in earnest or if she was mocking Sigrid, but from the way Sigrid's eyes were glittering, he was fairly sure it was the latter. He was about to say something to Marni when Dain himself shuffled her out of the way.
"Move along there, lass, I want to kiss the bride." Dain leaned in to take a firm hold of Sigrid's shoulders and plant a smacking kiss on her cheek. Fili saw her screw up her face as his lips landed.
"I expected to see you big with child by now, lassie," he boomed. "Daughters of men, they breed like rabbits, I heard. Not like dwarrowdams, hey, Kili? It took your mam five years to have your brother after you were born, and we all thought that was blasted quick. It's usually more like nine or ten years between bairns." He looked at Sigrid's dress, turning his head this way and that, and gave a sly grin. "Not that you can tell under that tent you're wearing, but maybe that's the point, eh?"
Under the table, Fili found Sigrid's hand and clasped it. Her fingers tightened around his like a vice. Fili cleared his throat. "Er, thanks Dain, it was good to see you too. We're going to get on with our supper, if that's all right? The food's getting cold."
"Oh, aye, aye, eat. I'll go see if there's any mead."
They watched as Dain wandered off through the crowd, then Sigrid leaned in and lowered her voice.
"He called you Kili."
"I know. Happens all the time. Even Thorin's done it. I think Mother should have called one of us Horatio." He reached up a hand to cup Sigrid's face, rubbing his thumb back and forth over her cheek. "I'm sorry, love. This must be a nightmare for you. I can only apologise."
Sigrid looked into Fili's eyes, drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly, her irritation easing at the touch of his fingers.
"No, it's fine." She gave him a wan smile, half resignation and half hope. "It can't get any worse, can it?"
"Sigrid, Fili, this is Great Aunt Mildrina." Dis carefully wheeled a very elderly, very frail dwarrowdam up to the front of the table in a wheeled chair, her knees covered in a knitted woollen blanket. She had neatly braided snow-white hair, and carried an enormous serpentine ear trumpet. Dis settled her great aunt in place, fussed over her blanket, and finally glanced up at Sigrid. She did a double-take when she saw Sigrid's dress, and froze in shock.
"Sigrid… dear… what…?"
Sigrid gave Dis a cheery smile that did not reach her eyes. "Great Aunt Vos and my own stupidity, that's what."
Dis pursed her lips and nodded. "I'm sorry, Sigrid dear, I've been looking after Mildrina. Leave it with me. Mildrina's my great aunt on my mother's father's side, and she's also Oin and Gloin's great aunt on their mother's father's side. She's a bit deaf." Dis handed Mildrina her ear trumpet and leaned in to shout into the bell. "This my son Fili, and his wife Sigrid. The bride and groom."
Mildrina turned her pale, watery eyes from Dis to Sigrid and back again. "Is this the elf?" she said loudly.
"No, Aunt Mildrina, this is Sigrid. Fili's wife. Daughter of Bard, the Lord of Dale, who slew the dragon. The dragon?" Dis flapped her arms. "Remember?"
Mildrina glared at Sigrid. "She's not an elf? I thought she was an elf."
"No, Aunt Mildrina, that's my other son, Kili's partner, Tauriel. Kili. This is Fili. And Sigrid."
Mildrina brandished her ear trumpet irritably. "Who now? Wili? Nili?"
Dis gave up. "Yes, Aunt Mildrina. Let's get you some mead."
Mildrina smacked her lips. "Ooh, lovely."
Dis shrugged and rolled her eyes, and then nodded significantly at Sigrid, mouthing "I'll be back," as she wheeled Mildrina away, the latter's loud voice clearly audible as they wound their way through the crowd. "She killed a dragon? How extraordinary. She's not even an elf."
Thankfully, a few of Sigrid's friends were the next to approach the honour table, and Fili saw a smile return to his wife's face. He was pleased to see that Gorin had made sure Jerrik did not forget to attend, and the two of them shook Sigrid's and Fili's hands and congratulated them warmly. Fili had forgiven Gorin for the incident at the ford last winter, once his temper had cooled, and they were on friendly terms, but Gorin's broad smile for Sigrid was not lost on him, and he laid an arm possessively along the back of Sigrid's chair until Gorin moved along. Britte's approach, with arms outstretched and a soft, high-pitched squeal coming from her mouth, caused Sigrid to leap out of her chair with an answering squeal, the two of them hugging warmly and swaying exaggeratedly back and forth. Sigrid introduced Fili to Arrild, and he shook his hand, pleased to meet the kindly young farmer whose face lit up whenever he glanced towards his sweetheart. As they moved away, Fili looked regretfully down at his supper, now cold, and tried to shovel in a few more mouthfuls before being accosted by the next lot of well-wishers. He looked up: it was his mother and his Great Aunt Vos.
"Aunt Vos was just telling me about your dress, Sigrid," said Dis. "It's certainly one-of-a-kind, isn't it, Aunt Vos?"
His mother's aunt reminded Fili of a little brown sparrow, a gentle soul, if a touch scatterbrained and clearly possessing terrible taste in clothing, and he knew his mother wouldn't dream of hurting her feelings. He wondered what she had planned.
"Oh, yes, as soon as I saw the tablecloth at the market I knew it would be just the thing," Vos warbled. "I thought it would help you to feel more dwarvish, Sigrid, you know, symbolically."
Beside him Fili could feel Sigrid's tension, and again he clasped her hand under the table.
"Great Aunt Vos," she said stoically, "it's very kind of you to want to make me feel welcome. I really appreciate it."
Vos beamed and reached out for Sigrid's free hand, shaking it up and down. "You sweet girl. I'm so happy for you both." She held out her other hand to Fili.
At that moment, Kili passed behind Sigrid's chair. His foot hit her chair leg, he stumbled, and the goblet of red wine he was holding tipped up and spilled straight down the front of Sigrid's dress.
Great Aunt Vos gasped in dismay.
"Oh no!" said Dis. "Kili, how clumsy of you! Aunt Vos, please don't worry, I'm sure I can save the dress. If we get some salt on it, and leave it for an hour, the stain should come right out. But we'll have to hurry." She held her hand out to Sigrid. "What a shame. We'll have to find something else for you to wear, unfortunately."
Fili watched as his mother led Sigrid and Vos away. Kili sat down casually beside him in Sigrid's vacated chair. They turned and looked at each other, and Kili grinned and raised his empty goblet to his brother.
"You're welcome."
"There's no rush, we'll be back in time for the speeches." Dis untied the cord around Sigrid's waist and helped her remove Vos's well-meaning but hideous, and now wine-stained, gift. "I've got your gown here. Vos is a sweetheart, but honestly, to think of dressing my daughter-in-law in a tablecloth…" She shook her head.
Sigrid picked up her gown from Dis's bed and stepped into it, drawing the shoulder straps up into place. She smoothed the satiny material over her stomach as Dis tightened the laces in behind.
"At least Dain will be able to see I'm not pregnant now."
Dis stopped short. "Tell me he did not say that."
"We daughters of men breed like rabbits, apparently," she said breezily over her shoulder. "And I have to say, Marni wasn't too fond of me, as well."
"Dain's a goose," said Dis sharply. "Yes, he's a war hero, blah blah blah, it's no excuse for rudeness in my book. I'm sorry, Sigrid dear." She gave Sigrid's gown a last tweak. "And don't let Marni trouble you. She's simply green with envy of you, that's all. There, you're done. Much better."
Sigrid turned around and smiled at her mother-in-law. "Thank you, Dis. For everything." She leaned down to embrace Dis warmly.
Dis reached up and touched Sigrid's cheek, her twinkling blue eyes the image of Fili's. "You're welcome, my daughter. Now let's get ourselves back to the party. It's time for the speeches."