Chapter 8

Author's notes: I'm sorry for the slowness between updates. I'm working mandatory overtime at my day job, and have a side business, and between the two, I have no time to breath, much less write much. I haven't abandoned this story - or Masks! - but updates will be very slow for the next couple of months.

Blaster stepped through the doorway of the quarters he shared with his symbionts, and smiled faintly. Steeljaw was sprawled out on the couch, head on his paws, radiating discontent. Eject was using his brother's side for a backrest as he played video games, and Ramhorn was asleep on the ground beside them. He knew that neither of them was oblivious to Steeljaw's mood, but also that Steelie wasn't likely to talk to them. He wished Steeljaw would confide in the others more, rather than holding himself just a little aloof.

:Steelie,: he said, :what's wrong?:

It had taken quite a lot to get Steeljaw to trust him enough to easily confide in him. The aloofness, the dignity, was a facade behind which lurked a complete world of damage. He'd healed well, over the centuries in Blaster's care, but the scars were there, and would always remain.

:Soundwave got upset when we tried to leave. Frenzy decided to stay with him until he's in recharge.: A terse explanation, but it made sense. :He'll be by later. Umm. We were hoping for a little privacy. If that's okay.:

The Ark had never been intended to house as many mechs as lived here now. They were tight for space, and privacy was at a premium. Steeljaw was asking if they could make themselves scarce for a few hours - which Blaster didn't have a problem with. sat down on the couch next to them, and rested a hand comfortingly on Steeljaw's shoulders. :I'll make sure the others stay away until at least midnight. And I note Frenzy seems pretty tight with Soundwave. I'm a bit surprised that Soundwave's worried - unless he's concerned about safety?:

:I think Soundwave's afraid we're going to steal him away.:

:Do you think Frenzy would be interested?: Blaster wasn't sure what to think of that. He didn't like Soundwave, for any multitude of reasons, and couldn't help but wonder if Frenzy would be better off with someone else - though not necessarily him. He already had six symbionts, and integrating a seventh into his team wasn't a headache he was especially looking for. His first priority was the welfare of the symbionts he already had. He would consider it if Frenzy had no other options, but he wasn't actively looking to steal Frenzy away.

:I doubt he's even thinking of that. He's loyal. Not unless Soundwave died, and even then, he'd feel like he was betraying his memory. We'd have a fight on our hands to convince him to join us.: Steeljaw lifted his head up and glanced at Blaster. :You would consider it, right?:

Blaster sighed. Steeljaw clearly liked the idea a lot better than he did. He needed to talk to the rest of his team about what-ifs. Steelie and Eject would be fine with it, and Rewind probably wouldn't care, but the others might be reluctant, at best. :I don't know. I don't know Frenzy well enough. I'd ... think about it. The harmony between the rest of you lot comes first.:

:Fair enough.:

:Steelie,: Blaster hesitated, choosing his words carefully, :I know you like him, but please be careful. I don't want you hurt.:

Steeljaw lifted his head up and looked Blaster squarely in the optics for a second. The bond between them was wide open, letting him truly feel Steeljaw's emotions as Steeljaw said, :I hope he can be what I want in a partner, Blaster. There are very few mechs in this universe who would consider me. However, I know that right now, it is far too soon to consider such things, or even discuss them with him.:

:I just don't want you to get your spark broken.: He was concerned that the amount of hope, and desire, that Steeljaw felt was unhealthy, possibly for both of them. There was a difference between a good frag with a casual lover and bonding. There was also a distinct difference between a partner bond and a sibling bond between symbionts, but Steeljaw had to factor in his brothers' opinions (and Blaster's!) because they would be inextricably tied through him to Frenzy should they form a partner bond.

At least, Blaster thought, he trusted Steeljaw's judgment when it came to relationships. Steelie was a smart mech, and not overly prone to acting on impulse. He wouldn't do anything stupid. Had it been Eject who was getting his circuits blown by a recently defected 'con, Blaster would have been a hell of a lot more worried.

:I think that a broken spark will be inevitable if I don't make this work.: Steeljaw sat up, making Eject squawk a protest as his 'backrest' moved. Steelie scooted forward to lean against Blaster's chest, then reached a paw out and encouraged Eject to slide over and curl up against his side with a gentle tug on his arm. Eject returned to his game with a huff after repositioning himself. Steeljaw relaxed a bit when Blaster draped an arm around him. :But I also think it's worth taking the chance on him.:

:... Steeljaw.: Blaster sighed. :I hope it works out. I really do.:

:Me too.: Steeljaw shifted his weight a little bit, apparently to make a better backrest for Eject, who was squirming absently, as if he wasn't quite comfortable. Eject was focused on his video game and oblivious, perhaps deliberately, to the conversation. Steeljaw asked, :If ... if it did work out, would you be okay with it? If we ... you know.:

:You still can't talk about bonding easily, can you?: Blaster said, gently, pointing out one of Steeljaw's weaknesses.

:No.: Steeljaw met Blaster's gaze, unhappily. Blaster remembered just how hard he'd had to work to convince Steeljaw that bonding with a new carrier was worth it. Steeljaw had been wary, to say the least, of the idea.

:Frenzy isn't the question, it's Soundwave, from my standpoint. You need to talk this out with your brothers, though. And also discuss things with Jazz and Optimus, and allow time for Frenzy to earn their trust - if he ever can. If you decide you are serious about Frenzy, I will support you, but we need to make sure that everything is handled right.:

:I know. It wouldn't be easy.: Steeljaw was clearly troubled by this. :It could be an issue for Soundwave, too. He did not even like me touching Frenzy, and Frenzy said he was furious when he realized Frenzy had interfaced with someone. Frenzy said he was afraid that Soundwave was so angry at him he would strike him, and that he had never thought Soundwave capable of harming him before.:

:Ouch.: That was troubling news. One thing carriers learned very quickly was that you didn't abuse your symbionts, ever, for any multitude of reasons. Carriers who were incapable of learning this quickly found themselves without any symbionts to abuse. :Frenzy felt threatened?:

:He said Soundwave was furious at him - said he was the angriest that Frenzy could remember, to the point of near violence.:

:Soundwave is not normally quick to anger.: Blaster frowned. He was worried about Steeljaw's safety, if Soundwave was reacting badly to the relationship.

:Eh, don't worry so much, boss. We got him calmed down, and I'm a good bit faster on my feet than he is right now, if it comes to that.: Steeljaw stretched a little, and ended up a bit more in Blaster's lap when he did so. Blaster knew that was deliberate, Steeljaw's way of asking-without-asking for snuggling. Steeljaw had come a long, long, way from the wary, frightened, defensive symbiont that Blaster had found on an alien world so long ago. However, he still had his own peculiar issues. One was that he was quick to give affection to others, almost to the point of excess, but slow to ask for himself.

He reached out and pulled Steeljaw all the way into his lap. Steeljaw tensed for a second, a flash of sorrow and anxiety spearing through his spark. Blaster sighed and stroked his head, knowing nothing he could say could make it better. :This is really getting to you, buddy, isn't it?:

:Yeah.: Steeljaw leaned into Blaster's touch. :It is. - Blaster, I'm going to try to win Soundwave over. Are you okay with that?:

:Of course.: He was a little surprised that Steeljaw even felt he needed to ask. Unlike Soundwave, he had no concerns about Steeljaw ever leaving him.

:Thank you for trusting me.: Steeljaw pressed his head against Blaster's shoulder.

Blaster nodded, and rubbed Steeljaw's ears while pulling him tight against his chest. Steelie wouldn't allow anyone else to touch them, even his brothers. He found having his ears rubbed demeaning from anyone but his carrier, for reasons Blaster didn't entirely understand. Blaster mused, :For this thing between you two to go anywhere, you'll need to gain Soundwave's approval. It wouldn't be fair to ask Frenzy to chose between the two of you.:

:Thanks, Boss.:

:Mmm.:

At that moment, Frenzy pinged them from outside the door. Eject said slyly, "Gonna score again, Steeljaw?"

"Shut up, you. Don't be crude." Steeljaw, annoyed by Eject's innuendo, shifted his weight, moving sideways and shoving Eject onto the floor in a clatter of armor.

"Three times in one night. I was impressed." Eject just laughed from his position sitting on his aft on the ground. "And never knew you to be the catcher before. You must really ..."

"Eject!" Blaster snapped. Steeljaw wasn't the only one who was irritated. Blaster grabbed Eject by the neck and shoulders and summarily hoisted him into the air. "Unless you want to spend the rest of the night in your dock, you will be nice."

Steeljaw was never particularly good at blocking his emotions. He got considerably worse about it when he was excited or, err, excited. Bonded teams generally either learned to block each other during momentary lapses caused by passion, or joined in the fun. Blaster's gang had a purely platonic relationship in that regard, and Blaster enforced good manners somewhat ruthlessly. Eject was the worst about respecting everyone's privacy and not teasing; sometimes, even Blaster found him insufferable.

Eject giggled, "Okay, okay! But teasing Steeljaw is so much fun. And it's not like I could miss what he was doing!"

Blaster couldn't detect anything from Steeljaw at all. When he was trying, Steeljaw was decent at keeping a firewall around his emotions. Steelie's expression was neutral, but Blaster wasn't fooled. He glared and said sharply, :Eject, be nice. Steeljaw is sensitive about this. Can't you feel he's trying to block the pain because he wants you to see him as brave and tough? You're upsetting him, Eject.:

Eject drooped.

:Apologize.:

"Sorry," Eject said, "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

:He's probably not embarrassed, he's probably very insecure and you just made it worse. But that'll do for an apology for now.: He lowered the younger mech to the ground, wishing he could give him a shake on the way to express his irritation. He didn't abuse his symbionts, ever, even when he really wanted to.

Ramhorn said sleepily, optics still firmly shut, "You know, Eject, one of these days he's going to bite you."

"I do not bite people," Steeljaw replied, finally bristling with indignation.

Ramhorn's amusement was bright across the bond as he heaved himself to his feet. He then herded Frenzy efficiently towards the door.

"Good evening, lover boy," Eject called, cheerful, as the door opened to reveal Frenzy.

"Don't mind him, we don't," Ramhorn shoved Eject from behind.

Blaster had never struck one of his symbionts - but if one was ever going to push him to that point, it would be Eject. He didn't even try to hide the blaze of annoyance at Eject. Eject, wisely, shut his mouth and hurried out the door without any further comments.

Frenzy blinked at the three of them as Blaster followed the other two out into the hall. Blaster held the door open for Frenzy after he'd stepped out. Frenzy's expression was utterly confused, as if he didn't know what to make of Steeljaw's siblings. Blaster told him, "Go on in, kiddo. We're heading down to the rec room if you want to join us later. Jazz got a movie for everybody to watch."

"Oh." Frenzy jerked his gaze upwards, looking a bit startled. He said dumbly, "Movies?"

"Later. He's just showing Speed again," Steeljaw said, voice a pleasant rumble as he padded across the room. "Come on in, Frenzy."

"That's a fun movie." Frenzy's expression lit up as Steeljaw approached. He breathed out, "But later ..."

Blaster let the door slid shut. Despite his misgivings, he couldn't help but smile as he walked down the hall. It might work out. It might not. However, Frenzy's expression and Steeljaw's matching surge of pure happiness at seeing him made Blaster optimistic.

It would be nice to see Steelie find someone. The young symbiont had been frustrated by a lack of suitable partners for as long as Blaster had known him.

After the door slid shut, Steeljaw smiled wryly at Frenzy. "I love Eject to death, and there are times I'd love to delete him. You know if you're in a relationship with me, you'll have to put up with him, too."

Frenzy snorted. "Not if I kill him."

Steeljaw laughed, hearing the teasing tone in Frenzy's voice. It was good to hear him joking. He replied, "You'd have to stand in line behind half the base for the privilege."

"In that case, I'll let someone else do the dirty work. Why get in trouble if I don't have to?" Frenzy's smirk made Blaster grin back. He was still joking, and it was so wonderful to see.

Steeljaw closed the last few feet between them and started to lean against Frenzy, shuttering his optics as he did. He expected Frenzy to hug him. He didn't expect Frenzy to stop him with a hand under his jaw. Frenzy tilted his face up and boldly kissed him, mouth closed for a moment, but then lips parting in invitation. Frenzy pressed closer, bending over as he did, fingers curling into the seams of the armor behind Steeljaw's ears.

He was so shocked he could barely react for a moment. He certainly wasn't kissing back. Nobody had ever wanted to kiss him.

Frenzy stepped away, expression clouding over. Uncertainly, he said, "Steeljaw? Did I do something wrong?"

"Never been a big fan of kissing," he said, with a rough laugh. He pulled away and padded to the couch, wishing he was a little better designed for actual kissing. He might be a bit more fond of it if he wasn't so aware of how it would look to anyone who saw it. "How's your master doing?"

"He's recharging. Ratchet's keeping him a little sedated. It's easier to monitor the stability of his code if he's calm, apparently." Frenzy's tone was brusque now. He sounded hurt, which made Steeljaw wince. Perhaps he shouldn't have pulled away. Frenzy's confidence was likely zero at the moment. "I helped Ratchet set up monitoring equipment in his quarters this afternoon."

"I think Ratchet likes you." That was true enough, and an observation likely to improve his mood.

"Why is he caring so much?" Frenzy sounded simply tired, when he said this. He hadn't cheered up as Steeljaw had expected. "Soundwave is his enemy."

"It's an Autobot thing. We care, because you people don't." Steeljaw shook his head. "We have to remember what we believe in, even if that means stubbornly forgiving our enemies and caring for them even when it's reckless and foolish and naive."

He realized his mistake as soon as he saw Frenzy's optics harden. "My people, Steeljaw?"

"Poor choice of words, kiddo." He ducked his head. "Forgive me? It's hard, sometimes, to forget. We can only forgive."

"I hate that term, kiddo. You interfaced with me. I am not a child." Frenzy clearly wasn't in a forgiving mood. "You know what? I came here looking for ... I don't even know what I was looking for. First you won't kiss me, and then you call me a Decepticon and say I don't care. Primus."

"Woah, woah, woah, not what I meant, k... Frenzy." He backpedaled, both figuratively and literally, backing away from the other mech and hastily adding, "You came here looking for a friend, and I was an idiot, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Frenzy."

"Maybe I just wanted a frag." Frenzy folded his arms across his chest, sounding as defiant as he looked. "Maybe Decepticons can't be friends with Autobots."

"That would explain a heck of a lot about the war." His sarcasm clearly wasn't appreciated, because Frenzy's optics narrowed.

"I think I'm going to leave, before I get myself in trouble." Frenzy turned to do so, movements stiff and clearly angry.

"Wait!" He grabbed Frenzy's arm, awkwardly, rising up on his back legs. When Frenzy whirled, battle routines humming to life, even though he'd been completely disarmed by Ratchet. His optics dilated and he started to break free.

"Let go!"

Steeljaw kissed him. It was awkward, because he wasn't really designed for either kissing or embracing others, and because he had no practice whatsoever, but he was somewhat desperate to keep Frenzy from stalking out the door and it was the only thing he could think of. He had to rest his forearms on Frenzy's shoulders for balance, and Frenzy went rigid, then slowly relaxed. When Frenzy's fingers curled around the back of his neck, and Frenzy leaned into the embrace with a small murmur of appreciation, he knew he'd succeeded in reassuring Frenzy ... which somewhat surprised him. He'd halfway expected to be smacked across the room.

From personal past experience, he knew just how hard Frenzy could hit. Frenzy wasn't very big, but his shoulders and arms were reinforced to support his pile drivers. Even with those weapons - and weapons they were! - removed, he was still far more powerful than his size would suggest. They'd tangled a few times in battle, and he'd never expected to be kissing the mech who'd personally left him with plenty of dents over the course of a long, brutal war.

After a bit, he pulled back with a self-conscious chuckle. "As you can imagine, Frenzy, not many people want to kiss me. I've had my share of lovers, but it was pretty much about the kink, not about me. Sometimes I'm a little self-conscious. Okay?"

"You know you're being really stupid about that?" Frenzy poked him in the chest with a finger. "You'd have a hard time getting me t' doing something I didn't want to, Mousebreath, and I kissed you because I wanted to. Anyway. What do you want to do now? Your master mentioned a movie ..." by Frenzy's uncertain tone, he didn't really want to go watch a movie, but he was offering out of some weird sense of politeness.

"It'll keep my sibs occupied for a couple of hours. We have privacy until at least midnight." Steeljaw couldn't quite keep the smirk out of his voice. "Unless you really want to watch Speed."

"I've seen it. It was the Stunticon's favorite movie." Frenzy snorted a laugh at some memory, then suddenly his optics dimmed. "Rumble's, too."

Steeljaw nearly pulled away, the grief in Frenzy's expression triggering his own memories of loss. It had hurt so much to lose his first master and siblings. They had been civilians, all scientists and thinkers and dreamers. They had been so very different than the mechs he was bound to now. He missed them so badly, even though he loved his current family with fierce devotion.

He mentally shook himself a bit, and asked, "What was Rumble's favorite part?"

"All the exciting bits." Frenzy's hands had stilled on his plating. Frenzy's vocalizer hissed with static, betraying his mental state.

Steeljaw pressed a clumsy kiss to his forehead and then transformed his hands back to paws and dropped back to all fours. "C'mere." He headed for the couch. "Tell me about his favorite bits?"

While blowing Frenzy's circuits had an undeniable attraction, he knew from personal experience that it helped to talk about the ones you'd lost. Frenzy curled up next to him with a small sigh that wasn't quite a sob, and started, shakily, to describe what Rumble had liked about the movie.

Steeljaw put an arm around him, and let him talk. Frenzy rambled, telling him things about his twin beyond his taste in movies. He had only ever known Rumble as an enemy. Frenzy described the brother who had been the other half of his spark since the day they had come online.

Then, suddenly, Frenzy changed the subject with a firm, "Now you have to tell me your favorite movie."

Recognizing Frenzy no longer wanted to talk about his brother, perhaps because the pain had gotten to be too much, Steeljaw answered the question, "It's not an Earth movie, it's from this little world a couple light years from Nebulos - it's a love story."

Frenzy made a face. "I'm not really a love story kinda mech."

"This one's funny. And it's got a lot of action in it, too," he said, a slow grin in his voice. "The heroine reminds me a little of you."

"I am not a heroine." Frenzy twisted around to glare at him with affronted dignity.

"You're totally a girl."

"Am not."

"Everybody knows organic females are generally far more dangerous than the males." He turned it into a compliment.

"I'm still not a girl." Frenzy's tone turned teasing. "I could prove it to you."

Eject had been right when he'd teased Steeljaw about not being a valve mech, though he'd willingly rolled over for Frenzy the night before simply because it had felt like the right thing to do. Somehow, he hadn't minded the loss of control. He'd also said to Frenzy that he was willing to be spiked, which was true enough; it just wasn't his favorite way.

Now, however, with Frenzy teasing him about it, he realized that the other mech might have certain assumptions. He expected to feel dismayed, but when Frenzy rose up on his knees and leaned over Steeljaw to kiss him again, Steeljaw found a thrill of excitement flooding through his circuits. He wanted to feel Frenzy's weight on top of him, his slim body between Steeljaw's legs. He wanted to see the light of desire - desire for him - in those crimson optics.

It was different, somehow, with Frenzy. He was under no illusions that Frenzy loved him. For Frenzy, this was about banishing the sheer loneliness in his spark, about seeking comfort from another's touch and the warmth of another's systems next to his. Symbionts were not meant to ever be alone, and Steeljaw was the only person who he felt he could reach out to.

It suddenly struck him that he wouldn't mind being spiked by a lover who loved him. His critical self-analysis continued, and made him sigh with bitter depression. He was deluding himself, a bit, but the dynamic between Frenzy and himself was so different than anything he'd ever experienced before. It was easy to forget the truth, which was that Frenzy didn't love him and their relationship might fall apart tomorrow.

So sharp was his spike of misery at this thought that Blaster actually felt it through the connection that he was currently trying to block. Blaster's warm presence touched his spark with his carrier said, :You okay, Steelie?:

:Fine,: he ground out, a bit resentful of the intrusion.

:It's my job to look out for you,: Blaster responded, a bit sharply. :You know how much I love you.:

:With all due respect, please go away, Boss.: He firmly shut the bond down. Blaster had a right to be worried, but Steeljaw also figured he had a right to privacy.

"You okay?" Frenzy said.

He realized he'd never responded to Frenzy's teasing comment about proving that he wasn't a girl. He smirked and said, "So what's wrong with being a girl?"

"Girls are weak." The answer really should not have been unexpected, but Steeljaw also knew it wasn't really accurate.

"Hah. Tell that to Arcee."

"We don't actually have sexes. She just identifies as a female."

"Tell that to Carly, then." He grinned. He liked Spike's girlfriend, and not just - as she claimed - because she smelled good. "I'll be happy to help bolt you back together after she's done with you."

That got him a skeptical snort. "Squishies."

"You do understand that the humans are important, yes?" Steeljaw said, with sudden concern. "Touch them, harm them in any way, and you would regret it."

"I get it." Frenzy sounded irritated. "Don't hurt the humans. I assumed being nice to the squishies was one of the ground rules if I'm living here."

"Good." He nuzzled Frenzy's shoulder. "I just wanted to make sure you knew that. And that is all humans, not just our humans."

"Yeah, yeah. I have no desire to frag off you guys. I'm at your mercy."

"Okay." He nibbled at Frenzy's neck, and then said in a teasing voice, "I'd like you to be at my mercy ... preferably on your back screaming in overload."

Frenzy rose up onto his knees and rested both hands on Steeljaw's chest. "Enough talking, Mousebreath."

Steeljaw blinked at him, then let Frenzy push him backwards, so that he was lying down on the couch. Frenzy kissed his neck, and slipped his fingers through a seam in Steeljaw's armor to tease at sensors under his jaw. Steeljaw tensed nervously, unsure what Frenzy was intending, but Frenzy didn't seem to notice and kept stroking and touching, somewhat aggressively.

He'd pictured himself as the dominant partner, comforting and healing Frenzy's shattered spark. Frenzy wasn't exactly acting like the grief-stricken, broken mech that Steeljaw had formed a mental picture of. The young symbiont had a smirk on his face as he ran a hand down between Steeljaw's front legs, finding gaps in his armor and teasing sensitive wires and cables.

He honestly didn't know what to do. This wasn't how he'd pictured tonight would go. He'd intended to hold Frenzy, comfort him, reassure him, and yes, interface with him again. He'd not planned on Frenzy ...

... Oh, Primus.

Frenzy closed his mouth on the inside of Steeljaw's elbow, lips and glossa nimbly finding sensitive points and leaving a trail of tingling heat behind them.

Had he just groaned aloud?

Apparently, he had, because Frenzy's smirk intensifed. The pit-slagging little punk of a symbiont now had one of Steeljaw's digits in his mouth. He sucked it, glossa swirling around the joints, while meeting Steeljaw's gaze. Steeljaw's vents kicked on, as an electric jolt of energy raced through him at that smoldering look.

He wanted to fling Frenzy down to the berth and frag him offline. His spike pressurized, interface routines kicking on with startling urgency. Sheer force of stubborn will kept his interface panels closed, which wasn't exactly comfortable, but he was feeling very insecure about this whole thing. It wasn't going how he'd expected.

Frenzy grinned, clearly hearing the whine of Steeljaw's cooling systems, and oblivious to the Steeljaw's true reactions.

Slag he wanted to see that mech underneath him, crying out in ecstatic release. He wanted to be the one on top, pinning Frenzy down with his weight, thrusting into him until he forgot all his sorrows, coaxing Frenzy to trust him and perhaps even love him.

The smaller symbiont shifted position, sliding a hand over Steeljaw's hip, fingers exploring every seam and sensor. Steeljaw wanted to get more aggressive and take charge, but then, when Frenzy pressed a kiss to his interface panel, his fans stuttered in shock. He'd never been kissed there ... nobody had ever wanted to kiss him there.

"Stop ..." he reached down, trying to push Frenzy's head away. This wasn't right.

Frenzy looked up at him, eyes dim with lust, his own cooling systems whining with heated desire. "Want you ..." Frenzy murmured. "Want to frag you until you glitch."

"Wait ..."

Real hurt suddenly flickered into those gleaming red optics. Frenzy snapped with brittle anger, "I thought you wanted me!" and started to pull away.

"Just ..." he struggled for words, and reached a hand out to grab Frenzy's arm at the same time. He finally said. "Just, it's hard for me. To not be in charge."

"... Oh." Frenzy hesitated, flare of temper disappearing as quickly as it appeared. "Was I being too aggressive?"

He didn't want to see the pain in those red optics, or make Frenzy feel like he was being rejected. He moved his hand to Frenzy's jaw and stroked, careful to keep his claws tilted up and away from the sensitive, pliable metal. "I don't want a frag, Frenzy ... I want someone to make love to me. And maybe it's too early to ask that of you, but that's what I want. That's what I've been looking for, a long time. I ..."

Frenzy silenced him with a wordless kiss to the palm of his hand, then his fingers trailed down the very sensitive seams of his chest plating. He arched into those startlingly skilled hands with groan. It would be so easy to pretend that this was love. Frenzy seemed to be a very quick learner; now he vibrating his fingers against Steeljaw's shoulder joints and oh slag it felt so good as Frenzy pressed a warm kiss to an exposed cable on Steeljaw's neck, nibbling with pressure just short of pain.

"You're ... way too good ... at this." He gasped.

"You're so gorgeous." Frenzy murmured, pressing his slim body against Steeljaw's. "Not exactly good at the mushy stuff ..."

"... you seem to be doing fine ..."

"... but maybe it's not too early."

"We barely know ... it's too soon."

"You're gorgeous." Frenzy repeated. "I love how you move, all grace and power. And then you ... you ... you care ... maybe I think I like you a lot."

He blinked at the words, optical shutters clicking audibly. It was too soon. It wasn't possible. They didn't know each other well enough ... and Frenzy's heated spike, fully erect, was resting against his abdomen. Frenzy trailed a hand over Steeljaw's cheek arch. "I am better at doing things than saying things, Mousebreath."

He snorted a surprised laugh at the nickname.

"... and I wanna do you. And then be done by you. And all that."

He ... could feel that Frenzy was very erect. His own systems were running hot, his own spike now painfully engorged as it pressed hard against his still closed cover. He finally sent the command to open up, and the spike slid out against Frenzy's knee.

Frenzy glanced down at it, and then back up with a smirk. "Damn, that thing's huge for your size. I'm not going to be able to swallow all of it ..."

"What?" He said, half a yelp. Nobody had ever done that to him, not even when he'd hinted a few times. Frenzy, however, was already closing his mouth around ... his hot, slick mouth ... sucking ...

... oh Primus.

Primus.

:Love that noise you're making,: Frenzy said, over a very close-range comm frequency.

He realized he was gasping in time to the motions of Frenzy's mouth, embarassingly helpless small cries of pleasure. He could feel a charge building, and nanytes rushing into his reservoir. "Frenzy, I'm gonna ..."

Frenzy slid two fingers into his valve, a bit awkwardly, but accidentally-on-purpose hitting a sensitive node. He lost control with a shout, as the charge and pressure reached a crescendo of pleasure. His vision fuzzed out. Energy crackled across his plating. He arched upwards, losing himself in the moment.

:You are so gorgeous!: Frenzy purred to him.

It was the words that did it, pushing him over the edge into helpless climax. It was perhaps the most powerful overload of his life. He was dimly aware, as his systems reset, of Frenzy slipping between his legs. "You still with me, Mouser?" Frenzy asked, laughing a little. He sounded proud of himself.

"Frenzy ..." He murmured, shocked at himself. He hadn't intended to let go like that. "... Frenzy."

:Look at me!:

He realized he still had his optics off. He turned them back on, too stunned by his own reactions to even feel annoyed at what was truly a bossy-sounding order. Frenzy was sprawled between his thighs, hands resting on his stomach, and smiling at him. No, that wasn't right. Frenzy was grinning at him. The slagging little imp looked immensely pleased with himself.

The first time they'd interfaced, it had been about pure connectoion, and he'd woken frightened and disoriented, and had taken primitive comfort from the touch of another. It had just happened, the third time, that Frenzy had spiked him. This was something very different, more deliberate. He found he was quivering with raw anticipation despite just overloading moments before.

:Much better.: Frenzy shifted his weight, and the very tip of his heated spike brushing against Steeljaw's valve.

He was going to be thoroughly spiked ... anticipation made his circuits heat. Frenzy's mouth was open now, smirk replaced by a look of sheer pleasure and awe.

"You're so gorgeous ..." Frenzy murmured aloud, as he thrust firmly, with authority, into Steeljaw's valve. The sensation of being suddenly stretched and filled, made him cry out in surprise. He hadn't expected it to feel so damn good, overwhelming, and connecting. "Primus, Steeljaw. Primus."

He struggled to keep his optics online as new waves of pleasure rocked his frame. Steeljaw grabbed at Frenzy's shoulders as the smaller mech settled into a fast, almost aggressive, rhythm. Frenzy's optics were fixed on his face, watching him, meeting his gaze head on. There was no submission in those red optics, no self doubt or guilt and, for the moment, the aching grief had disappeared. He had expected a broken partner who he would heal ...

... and in a sudden, electric, moment, he realized he'd found an equal, instead.

Frenzy pushed one last time, almost violently, into him. Heated fluids rushed through his systems, his internals welcoming this with a ripple of pleasure that was the only forewarning he got before he, too, let go. Overload ripped through his circuits for a second time. He clutched Frenzy to him as they both cried out in a shattering shared climax. He thought it had been good earlier, but now it was as if the universe stopped and was replaced by a moment of utter perfection.

"Wow," he murmured, when he could move again. He stroked Frenzy's head; Frenzy was sprawled across him, completely relaxed. Only his fans were moving, and they whirred at a high rate of speed as they dispelled excess heat.

In reaction, Frenzy reached up and held Steeljaw's hand in place against his cheek. It was a wordless gesture of affection that seemed to thaw something in Steeljaw's spark that he'd never realized was frozen. He loved his bonded siblings, he trusted Blaster with his spark ... but he'd feared he would never have a real lover, a partner for eternity, and he could almost believe, when the Frenzy touched him like that, that Frenzy might be that mech.

"You okay, Mouser?" Frenzy asked, voice full of teasing humor. "I didn't make you glitch?"

"N... no." He rolled over, gripping Frenzy as he did, so that he ended up on top of the other mech. Frenzy didn't even tense up at the sudden motion; he just spread his legs and shifted around to get comfortable underneath Steeljaw. There was absolute trust in the calmness of his reactions.

"Oooh, you're up for round three?" Frenzy purred, rocking his hips upwards.

"Slag ..." Steeljaw groaned. He was definitely not up for round three, in more ways than one. "Why do I get the feeling you're going to be insatiable? ... give me a few here."

That got him a snicker. "This, from the mech who just overloaded twice within fifteen minutes."

It was that teasing laugh that did it. It was silly and foolish and far too soon, but he knew with absolute surety that he was utterly in love. This made him despair, for surely, Frenzy didn't feel that way about him.

He could not tell Frenzy how he felt. It was far too soon, far too much. He merely shuttered his optics and held Frenzy tight. Frenzy was just using him for comfort, and as a distraction. He was willing to be used, but it hurt to know that was all this was - and might ever be - for Frenzy.

Maybe this had been a very bad idea.

Maybe he was a fool.

Frenzy traced an old weld scar on his shoulder, and said softly, "You are gorgeous."

It almost sounded like, I love you, the way Frenzy said those words.