I stayed there for days, studying everything I could find, enchanted by the ruins.
The elves kept bringing me food and water, making sure I was still alive before returning to their Keeper.
On the third day, muted voices filled the otherwise silent rooms.
"So these are the ruins? Interesting." a female I knew but could quite place, "They're definitely of human origin. Yet elven artifacts are scattered amongst them. Nothing explains the monsters, though. But we must find Tamlen-or what's left of him. I can't imagine he's still alive with those creatures about."
Had one or two managed to slip by me? I frowned, disturbed at the thought. Though, perhaps, since I had fought a fair few during the last days, the sheer number of them could have hidden a couple here or there that decided to flee.
"Don't talk like that! You don't know!" another voice, this one heated at the thought of finding Tamlen dead.
"You're right. We should explore farther before I go on about my fears. I'm sorry." the first apologized, back-tracking fast.
Three sets of footsteps proceeded the small group. I'd been staring at the mirror, but when they walked in, I turned and nodded in acknowledgment.
"So you were the ones fighting darkspawn. I thought I heard combat." I lied confidently. They had obviously been in a fight recently, with how much blood they were wearing. Plus, they had been talking about the darkspawn.
My eyes fell upon Lyna, "You're the elf I found in front of the cave, aren't you? I'm surprised you have recovered." I took a deep breath internally, centering myself for what I would have to say to the Keeper later.
"So you're Anastasia, the Grey Warden who saved me." she eyed me.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you." I bowed my head.
"Andaran atish'an, Anastasia of the Grey Wardens. I am Merrill, the Keeper's apprentice." I hid my surprise. She looked exactly as she had in my vision, but I hadn't made the connection until she'd introduced herself.
"Did you battle all those creatures? By yourself?" Fenarel motioned behind him, indicating the corpses that littered the floor.
"Yeah. I tried, at first, to drag the bodies to the sides of the rooms, but as you can see, there were a lot of them…." I trailed off for a moment, "You Keeper didn't send you after me, did she?"
"We're looking for our brother Tamlen." Lyna's words were hushed. She didn't want me to tell her I hadn't seen him.
"So you and your friend Tamlen both entered this cave? And you saw this mirror?" I asked.
"You're found some trace of Tamlen? He touched the mirror." the hope in her eyes made me want to look away.
"No, nor do I think I will." the murmur was swallowed by the tension that had filled the air like fog, "I've heard of other Grey Wardens seeing artifacts like this mirror before; it is Tevinter in origin, used for communications. Over time, some of them simply...break. They become filled with the same taint as the darkspawn. Tamlen's touch must have released it…." the words flowed from me, though I had no idea if any of it was true. There was a whispering in my mind, a subtle prod to speak the words, "It's what made you sick-and Tamlen, soon, I presume."
I waited as the three digested that information.
"Can we fix it?" determined, the white haired elf stared at the mirror as if it held all the secrets.
"Unfortunately, no. It will taint those who come near it, now." I closed my eyes, remembering the mirror from the vision. It had been broken and slowly, carefully put back together.
I had to break it.
"I do not fear this sickness. The Keeper knows how to cure it." Merrill said with conviction.
"She may have weakened it, but she cannot cure it. Your recovery is only temporary. I can sense the sickness in you, and it is spreading. Look inside yourself and you will see." Lyna and I locked eyes for several minutes.
"Then what should I do?" she asked softly.
"First, we deal with the mirror. It is a pestilence and a threat." there it was again-the word vomit. It was almost as if… had I taken another Warden's place, by traveling through time?
I slid one of my daggers free and approached the mirror cautiously, wondering if there were any traps I had failed to find earlier. The glass shattered as the blade connected, white light filling the small room.
"It is done." a declaration as my feet carried me toward them. I couldn't sense the taint anymore from the now broken artifact, "Now, let's leave this cursed place. I must speak with the Keeper immediately regarding your cure."
"What about Tamlen?" Fenarel asked, sounding confused.
"There is nothing we can do."
"So he's dead, then? Are you sure?"
"Let me be very clear: There is nothing you can do for him. He's been tainted for three days now, unaided. Through your Keeper's healing arts and your own willpower, you did not die. But Tamlen has no chance. Trust me when I say that he is gone. Now, we should leave."
"Won't there have been a body?" he persisted.
"The darkspawn would have taken it."
The three of them exchanged looks. I knew why, too; had other darkspawn managed to slip away from the fighting? Had some survived in secret?
"Why would they take his body? Not to… eat it, I hope…."
"Darkspawn are evil creatures, and it's best to leave it at that. I'm… sorry."
"Can we just leave the cave like this? Is it safe?" Lyna glanced around.
"With the mirror destroyed, I doubt the darkspawn will return."
"Can we return later and search through the ruins? We could learn from many things here besides the mirror." Merrill this time.
"The cave is not safe-everything here was exposed to the mirror's taint. If your people must come here, they should cleanse it with fire."
"Why not just tell us what the cure is?" If Fenarel opened his mouth one more time….
I suppressed a sigh, "It's not that simple. I would tell you more, but I must first speak with your Keeper."
With that, I'd effectively ended the conversation. The feeling of having another speaking through me was disorienting. It reminded me of Duncan, actually. Had he been meaning to come to the Dalish? Had I messed something up?
"Very well. Let's go back to camp." Lyna ceded after almost five minutes of silence had passed, trying to reign in her companions.
"I sense no other darkspawn nearby, so it's safe. Lead on." I murmured, motioning for them to proceed.
...
The Keeper met us in the center of the camp, "I'm relieved you have returned! And I believe you are Anastasia."
I bowed my head, "I am. Are you the Keeper?"
The older elven woman nodded, "I am Keeper Marethari." she turned to the elves, "Dare I ask of Tamlen? What did you find of him?"
"The Grey Warden says we will find nothing." Lyna.
"I see. Merrill, what about the mirror? Did you bring anything back?"
"I can answer that, Keeper." I interrupted hastily, "I destroyed the mirror."
"I intended to use it to find a cure for this mysterious illness. I trust you had good reasons for your actions?" she chastised.
I started to feel a tiny bit guilty.
"There is much to discuss, Keeper. I have learned a great deal since I entered that cave." I squared my shoulders, shaking off the guilt.
"Let us speak privately within my aravel then, Anastasia. Merrill, warn the hunters. If darkspawn are still about, I want the clan prepared."
"Ma nuvein, Keeper. Right away." Merrill scurried off.
"Da'len, allow me some time to speak with Anastasia. Seek us out at my aravel later, and we can discuss your cure."
"Very well, Keeper." Lyna took a step backward, Fenarel following suit.
"Tell Hahren Paivel what has occurred. He now has the sad task of preparing a service for the dead." she took a moment to compose herself, "Follow me, Anastasia. I am eager to hear what you have to say."
To this day, I'm not really sure of what was said during that conversation. I only know that I had the unfortunate privilege of telling the Keeper that Lyna had a choice; join the Grey Wardens or die. The same as me.
When I think back on it, that's the thing that stands out the most to me. The look on the older woman's face, as if she was comforted by that comparison.
The next thing I remember with any clarity, was when Lyna came back to us.
"Your Keeper and I have spoken, and we've come to an arrangement that concerns you." I began, "My order is in need of help. You are in need of a cure. When I leave, I hope you will join me. You would make an excellent Grey Warden."
"I can't just leave my clan." she frowned, glancing back and forth between us.
"And we would not send you away, but there is more at stake." Keeper Marethari soothed, her tone sorrowful.
"The darkspawn taint courses through your veins. That you recovered at all is remarkable. I remember when I was infected… I was weak and kept falling asleep at odd times. In fact, I was asleep for most of the journey to meet the Wardens. Like me, the taint will sicken you. It could kill you, or worse. The Grey Wardens can prevent that, but it means joining us."
"Will I be able to return to my clan?" her voice was so small. She had a look about her, as if she was feeling like a child at the moment. Scared and helpless.
"We do not know. But we could not watch you suffer. The Grey Warden offers you a way to survive."
"This is not simply charity on my part. I would not offer this if I did not think you had the makings of a Grey Warden." I hardened myself, "Let me be clear: You will likely never return here. We go to fight the darkspawn, a battle that will take us far from your clan. But we need you and others like you."
"Like me!" Kallian literally jumped in to the conversation, landing next to me. She was a bundle of energy, that one.
"Is the clan sending me away?" Lyna ignored the intruding elf.
"A great army of darkspawn gathers in the south. A new Blight threatens the land. We cannot outrun this storm. Long ago, the Dalish agreed to aid the Grey Wardens against a Blight, should that day arrive. We must honor that agreement." the Keeper closed her eyes against the pain of what she had to say, "It breaks my heart to send you away. As it would to watch you die slowly from this sickness. This is your duty, and your salvation."
"This is all I've ever known!" the young woman threw her arms out, her tone begging, "This is my home!"
"A home that darkspawn may tear apart. This way, you can find a cure and protect your clan. Have courage." I hated the words coming from me. They weren't what I wanted to say at all. I wanted to tell her about my case, about what had happened with me, but I couldn't find the words. My words.
"I… cannot express my sadness at sending one of our own daughters off in to such danger, away from the clan that loves her. But if this is what the Creators intend for you, da'len, meet your destiny with your head held high. No matter where you go, you are Dalish. Never forget that."
Tears formed in Lyna's eyes, "Please, do not cast me away."
"I am sorry, da'len." the words a whisper, they floated away on the breeze, almost quiet enough to go unheard.
"Very well. You leave me no choice." My eyes widened, what was I saying? My mouth opened again, "I hereby invoke the Right of Conscription."
"And I witness and acknowledge your invocation, Anastasia of the Grey Wardens." Keeper Marethari's voice rang out clear.
"I am sorry this was not your choice, but the darkspawn threat is simply too great." I apologized, my anger raging inside me.
"You cannot make me serve against my will." she glared defiantly down at me.
I raised an eyebrow, biting out, "I will drag you kicking and screaming to Ostagar, if I must. Would you rather die here, and sicken your own people?"
"I know you'll do your clan proud, da'len. Take this ring. It is your heritage and will protect you against the darkness to come." The elder elf held out her hand, gently curling the girl's hand around the jewelry.
"Would you like to stay for the funeral?" there. The first thing I had said in this whole debacle.
Lyna looked at me with wide eyes, her voice barely audible, "Would that be possible? Would we be able to? Please?"
I nodded emphatically, "Of course. Of course. We can stay that long, at least."
I must have seemed like I had a multiple personality disorder or something, with how I was acting, just moments after being so cold-hearted.
"Come then, da'len. Before the Creators guide you from us, let your clan embrace you one last time."
Everyone had been gathering along the way toward the exit from the camp, having overheard Lyna's pleas. Each and every person there gave her some kind of affection, be it a look or a handshake. A hug. A shoulder squeeze. One older woman wiped the girl's eyes after they parted from an embrace. It was painful to watch. Lyna and Merrill shared a moment, the two of them staring in to each other's eyes with such intensity, I wondered if they were communicating telepathically. Which was ridiculous.
The funeral was put together very soon afterward, both as laying Tamlen's memory to rest and a farewell for the newest Grey Warden recruit. Soon afterward, Kallian, Lyna, and I left. In silence.