Chapter 15

Ratchet's arrival in the med bay caused a flurry of greetings from the patients and staff. Soundwave, by sheer reflex, started to comm Ratchet a private greeting - Soundwave, pleased by your presence - and caused a cascade of errors down his HUD. At least, he assumed they were errors. He couldn't read them.

Frustrated, he caught the medic's eye and nodded his head in silent greeting. It was the best he could do. After the night and morning they'd had, he felt some sort of acknowledgement was required, however.

Primus, but the medic was attractive. The small smile that Ratchet flashed him made hope well in Soundwave's spark. Perhaps last night hadn't been a fluke. Perhaps the medic had affection for him. Soundwave didn't understand it; surely, the medic could have had his choice of lovers.

None will have my level of devotion, Soundwave thought, vowing to repay Ratchet's affections with complete loyalty. He'd worked for eons for a master he'd - and he could admit it, now - quietly disliked. He was hard wired to be loyal to his oaths and to his leaders, but that didn't mean he liked Megatron.

Ratchet, he liked. He hadn't worked for a boss he liked since Fairwinds … who had also considered herself his equal, not his superior. It was disorienting to think that Ratchet didn't think of him as a servant. It made him uneasy, and he wasn't sure how to act. But he liked Ratchet a great deal, and he trusted the mech to be patient with him, or at least as patient as Ratchet was able.

Ratchet's short temper amused Soundwave. After eons of Megatron's furious rages, Ratchet's brief flares of anger were not threatening.

Ratchet was headed his way, too. Soundwave glanced at the work he'd been doing - he'd been putting together sensory circuit boards, working from the memory of shapes, colors, and symbols rather than written diagrams. His work had passed First Aid's review, but he still experienced a brief pang of worry as Ratchet approached. He didn't want to disappoint his new boss.

Unbidden, a memory surfaced of Ratchet, beneath him, clinging to him, vents roaring and body arching with arousal. The feel of Ratchet's valve, hot around him. The feel of satisfaction, when Ratchet had overloaded. His own rush of pleasure, so intense he'd nearly gone offline. Holding Ratchet close,the next morning. Ratchet refusing to let him kneel …

Ratchet, his equal.

At that thought, a smile touched his lip plates, briefly, safely hidden behind his mask. He spark was full of the most amazing sense of hope. It warred with the grief and worry, and created anxiety of its own. He was terrified to dream too much, for fear of bitter disappointment. His instincts told him that he had little chance of a real relationship with the Autobot medic … but his desire was frighteningly fierce.

Ratchet peered briefly at his work, then gave him an approving pat on the arm and flashed him a smile. He nodded his head in acknowledgement again, then blinked behind his visor when Ratchet caught his elbow and encouraged him to stand up. The medic pointed at the door to his office.

Puzzled by what Ratchet could want, Soundwave grabbed his cane and followed the medic across the med bay. Inside the office, Frenzy was seated on Ratchet's desk, kicking his legs like a sparkling, and Soundwave tensed, hoping he wouldn't need to intercede again. Frenzy would accept Ratchet eventually, but he wasn't surprised by his symbiont's protective fury now.

However,, the fury seemed to be gone. Frenzy and Ratchet seemed to be back on good terms. Frenzy stood up on the desk and flashed the medic a hesitant smile. Then Frenzy reached a hand out and rested it hesitantly on Soundwave's wrist, and gazed up at him with wide optics. Frenzy felt uncertain, even scared - which, given the context, alarmed Soundwave. Frenzy had never been frightened of him, or his reactions. Frenzy's confidence and trust in his love had always been a source of delight to Soundwave.

He had been a little harsh on Frenzy, he supposed, and more than once. He'd repeatedly frightened the very mech he was so terrified himself of losing. Guilt seized his spark. He owed Frenzy an apology. He had no idea how to convey that, however, Frenzy needed to know he was loved, and forgiven.

He glanced over at Ratchet, then at the closed door. Ratchet smiled at him encouragingly, and said something to Frenzy in a soft voice at odds with the medic's normal brusque tone.

Frenzy sighed suddenly, and pressed against Soundwave's torso, arms spreading around as far as he could to hug Soundwave. Soundwave embraced him back, lifting him off the table and just holding him. Frenzy's worry eased as Soundwave hitched him higher, and the little mech transferred his hug to Soundwave's neck.

For a moment, his entire attention was focused on his symbiont. Primus, but he loved Frenzy. He'd do anything to keep him. Frenzy whimpered faintly, clearly near tears. He didn't want that - he could tell that Frenzy's attention had been drawn back to everything, and everyone, they had lost. He squeezed him tighter, for a moment, and opened the bond wide, so Frenzy could see how worried Soundwave was - and how much he loved him.

After a moment, Frenzy nodded, and said something low and soft. Soundwave set him down, and with a sad wave, his symbiont walked out the door.

Ratchet was smiling. Suddenly self-conscious, and realizing just how much emotion he'd displayed in front of the medic, he straightened up reflexively. Ratchet must have picked up his unease, because the medic also pulled himself erect from his slouch, and frowned faintly.

That was, he was beginning to recognize, a classic Ratchet-response to feeling self conscious. He chuckled, his mask rendering the noise into an emotionless warble, and Ratchet gave him a puzzled look. Clearly, he hadn't recognized the sound. Then, with what was obviously a mental shrug, he headed for the door.

Soundwave reached out, grabbed him by the arm, and pulled him into a hug. Ratchet struggled briefly, then relented. The medic felt so good against him. His systems hummed with a little more power as the embrace reminded him of how intimate they had been last night, and how very good it had felt. Ratchet, too, tightened his grip on Soundwave, and rested his head against the taller mech's chest in one brief moment of surrender. Then he clapped Soundwave on the back and stepped away.

Soundwave's spark sang. Something about the way that Ratchet had allowed Soundwave to hold him said he had a chance.

Ratchet straightened up again, plastered what looked like a rather fake smile on his face, and marched out into the med bay. Soundwave followed. The staff immediately peppered Ratchet with noise that had the intonation of questions. He trailed after Ratchet, uncertain if he should return to his previous task or if the medic might need assistance.

The latter proved to be true when Ratchet indicated he should follow with a summoning crook of one finger. A mech - Sideswipe, Soundwave identified - was face down on a berth, most of his dorsal plating removed. This exposed his communications arrays, which appeared to have taken a pretty good surge. Soundwave recognized the damage that Starscream's null rays could do at close range to comm circuits. The antennas would pick up an extra charge that burned components out.

Ratchet pushed a tray of tools and a stool over to the berth, adjusted a light to shine on the area, then stepped back and indicated Soundwave should get to work. Soundwave smiled behind his mask, inclined his head in acknowledgement, leaned his cane against the side of the berth, and seated himself.

Sideswipe twisted his head sideways, saw who was about to work on him, and was off the berth in two seconds flat, knocking a surgical light flying and ripping out an IV. He snarled what was undoubtedly an epithet laced protest even as Ratchet dove for the light. Soundwave had heard Sideswipe's running commentary during combat often enough to fill in the blanks; Ratchet's snarling response was equally foul mouthed.

Soundwave held both empty hands up, and made no aggressive moves. He'd thought the mech was drugged when he'd sat down.

Ratchet had no such hesitation about displaying aggression. After righting the lamp, he grabbed Sideswipe from behind by the neck. Sideswipe shouted, twisted, and got his feet swept out from underneath him by an irritated medic for his efforts. He landed with a crash across the berth. Ratchet smacked him across the back of the helm with an open hand and then launched into a tirade of insults.

Behind his mask, Soundwave smirked with real appreciation for how easily Ratchet had taken control. The mech had authority!

Ratchet banged on Sideswipe's leg with a closed fist and yelled something else. The mech snarled something back, but he did lift his legs up onto the berth. Ratchet proceeded to address the entire room in a very annoyed voice, occasionally stabbing a finger at Soundwave.

Soundwave's smirk, unseen by anyone, grew broader. It was clear that Ratchet was making Soundwave's position as Ratchet's helper clear to the room. He found Ratchet's cranky tone amusing, and heartening. Amusing, because compared to most 'con officers. Ratchet's tirade wasn't even notable - yet his staff and the soldiers in the med bay were staring at him with wide optics. They were giving him their full, undivided, and apparently thoroughly intimidated attention. Heartening, because Ratchet's actions implied he was demanding a certain amount of public respect for Soundwave.

Ratchet concluded his lecture by slamming his hand down on the berth by Sideswipe's head, making the soldier jump. He then snagged up the end of the IV, thrust it in Soundwave's direction, and as soon as Soundwave took it, he stalked off to his office. The door hissed shut behind him, and the room promptly erupted into conversation.

Soundwave highly doubted that the medic had just admitted to 'facing him. However, he'd clearly said a few pointed things to everyone that established Soundwave as Ratchet's … what, servant? He wasn't sure. Whatever he was, however, was a step up from 'Decepticon prisoner.'

He regarded Sideswipe warily.

Sideswipe lay perfectly still, until Soundwave made no move in his direction. Then the soldier thrust his wrist out impatiently. Energon ran in a rivulet from a torn line. He realized that Sideswipe had damaged a fuel line when he'd ripped the drip out. Soundwave picked a couple of clamps up off the tray, and a rag, then swabbed the purple fluid off Sideswipe's arm.

The door to the med bay whooshed open and Sideswipe's golden twin stalked in, moving with slow and lethal grace. Without a word he crossed the med bay and loomed behind Soundwave, face an impassive mask of unspoken threat.

Soundwave twisted around briefly to look at the twin. Sunstreaker made him nervous; the twin was unpredictable, and had a reputation for a marked lack of compassion coupled with extreme violence and athleticism. Decepticon soldiers feared him. Soundwave didn't think he could win a fight with Sunstreaker in his current condition, and he doubted he'd have the element of surprise to his advantage. Sunstreaker's body language was blatantly alert and threatening.

Soundwave decided a distraction or two was in order. He put pressure on the damaged fuel line with the rag and one hand, produced his data pad from subspace, and set it down on the tray beside the bed. He quickly sketched a picture of the clamp he needed to seal off the line, and showed it to Sunstreaker.

Sunstreaker grunted.

Soundwave stabbed a finger at the clamp, held up two fingers to indicate he needed two, and pointed firmly at the cabinet where he knew the medics kept them.

Sunstreaker hesitated.

Soundwave sighed audibly, shrugged, and lifted Sideswipe's wrist up, pointed at Sunstreaker, and then pointed at the energon soaked rag. He mimed putting pressure on the injury with his free hand. Then he snagged his cane, stood up, and walked away.

The tall golden warrior gaped at him, then hastily grabbed his brother's arm and took over, jamming the heel of his hand against the rag. Soundwave's mask hid his smile - he'd just given the warrior something to worry about besides Soundwave himself. The injury was a long way from Sideswipe's spark and he'd have to leak like that for hours to reach a critically low fuel pressure level (and his auto repair would fix it long before then) but the fuel was flammable, and slippery, and he didn't want it dripping all over while he welded and soldered in new parts for Sideswipe's communications array. If he didn't end up with a fire, he'd probably step in it and fall.

Soundwave made his way to the cabinet, swaying with every uneven stride. He was well aware of Sunstreaker's optics on him. When he turned, the warrior's jaw was set with irritation, but there was also an uncertain light in his eyes.

He picked out the clamps he needed, a repair patch, and a tube of nanyte repair gel. Then he made his way back to the berth, where Sunstreaker gave him a hard stare before relinquishing his brother's arm.

He peeled the energon soaked rag off, and thrust it in Sunstreaker's direction. The warrior took it, with a puzzled look, until Soundwave stabbed a finger towards the metal bucket reserved for such inflammable rags. Sunstreaker muttered something but carried the rag off to dispose of it, and while he did, Soundwave clamped the patch around the ruptured line, and smeared the gel over it. The gel clotted with the energon to form an impermeable barrier, the mesh fabric of the patch gave it strength, and the repair nanytes in it would eventually seal the fuel line with a permanent repair.

He'd made that repair in a few moments - most soldiers could. That was basic field first aid. However, he was gratified when Sunstreaker returned with a bucket of soapy water and several more rags. Pleased that the soldier had thought to bring cleaning supplies, he ignored Sunstreaker's attempt to hand them to him and moved around to the other side of the table.

Sunstreaker favored him with a sour look, and began washing the spilled energon from his brother's plating. Soundwave kept half an optic on him, making sure the soldier was being thorough, while he located an access port on Sideswipe's other wrist and inserted the IV. Then, without comment, he leaned over the red soldier's prone body grabbed a roll of that human invention called duct tape from the tray of supplies. He taped the IV line down securely with several feet of tape wrapped around Sideswipe's arm, prompting Sunstreaker to laugh and tease his brother and Sideswipe to pull his arm free of Soundwave's grasp and favor his brother with a one-finger salute.

Soundwave had no desire to patch another line if Sideswipe made another escape attempt. He wasn't entirely sure what the yellow twin had said, though he assumed it was probably offensive and crude. The two of them reminded him of his own set of young twins … Sideswipe was a bit like Frenzy, and Sunstreaker was more than a little like Rumble.

That realization made him smile sadly behind his mask, just one corner of his mouth lifting up. He understood them, probably better than they would ever realize.

Sunny was worried for his brother, he realized, and Soundwave decided that the young soldier might appreciate truly helping him. He'd started out just meaning to distract the soldier from his paranoid assumptions, but Sunstreaker had nimble fingers and a fine attention to detail. Soundwave's paint job was a testament to that! After he got the IV going - it had pain killers and sedatives in it, judging by the color - he got Sunstreaker's attention by snapping his fingers, then pointed at a clearly damaged transmitter. Then he handed Sunstreaker a pair of wire cutters and a screwdriver and mimed removing it.

Sunstreaker stared at him. Sideswipe, half sedated by this point, made a faintly questioning noise.

Soundwave ignored that astonished expression, and headed for the supply room to find a replacement part. By the time he returned, Sunstreaker had removed both the transmitter and a damaged antenna and put them on the tray. He was also laughing and clearly teasing his twin.

Soundwave pulled the stool up, adjusted the light to shin on the area, and then, after examining the antenna and verifying it was burned out, he handed it back to Sunstreaker and pointed at the supply room. Sunstreaker headed off willingly enough, and Soundwave got to work installing the new transmitter.

"You know," Wheeljack said, some time later, "I wish he could talk. It's hard to know someone when you can't talk to them."

Ratchet glanced up from the very tricky and complicated task of rewiring Hot Rod's left leg. The kid had been walking around on a numb limb with half the actuators offline, the hydraulic sensors dead, and a brace made from an truck's bumper welded to his shattered femoral strut. It was a minor miracle that the whole mess of a leg hadn't simply collapsed under him.

He turned most of his attention back to the repair job, but he answered, "It's possible to say a lot without using any words."

"Yeah." First Aid approached with a cube of energon in his hand. "Here, boss. You've been working for twelve hours straight."

Wheeljack said, "What about me?"

First Aid grinned at him, only a little impudently. "You've got feet. Use them."

Ratchet stared into the cube of energon for a moment, then offered it to Wheeljack. "I've got some cubes in my office."

"High grade," Wheeljack said, then pressed his lips together, like he'd said too much.

Ratchet, remembering the results of his last binge, glanced over at Soundwave. Unlike the rest of the med bay and engineering staff, who were all gathered for a break, Soundwave was scrubbing dirt and oil off a berth. They'd all worked hard, and Soundwave as hard as any of them. Now that queue of mechs with minor injuries was finally, finally, cleared out, and a good chunk of the body work done, they could rest. Soundwave, however, had kept working when the others had quit - cleaning, now that nobody was left to repair.

"I meant what I said, earlier," Ratchet said, as he leaned over and picked a stray nut up off the floor. He grinned as he said, "I expect that Soundwave will be treated with the same courtesy that any other member of the staff gets."

With precision, he threw the nut across the med bay so it zinged off Soundwave's helmet. It was too light to do any damage, but it would definitely get Soundwave's attention. Soundwave had done enough. He'd worked as hard as the rest of them, and he didn't need to play cleaning drone as well, when they had perfectly good enlisted soldiers for that role.

Soundwave jumped, spun about, caught his balance with a hand on a berth, and stood motionless, looking for the source of the object that had zinged off his helm. He even glanced upwards, as if he thought something might have fallen from the ceiling, before fixing the group of Autobots - Ratchet, Perceptor, Wheeljack, First Aid and Skyfire - with an unreadable glint in his visor.

First Aid had sucked in a startled invent of air at Ratchet's actions. Skyfire had snorted a soft laugh. The rest of them were just staring at their CMO iin astonishment.

Ratchet grinned and mimed pitching the bolt for Soundwave's enlightenment. Then he stabbed a finger at the floor next to him. "Get over here, you." Soundwave couldn't understand the words, but he could certainly understand the hand gestures.

The mech nodded, but he detoured to the sink with a bucket of wash water and dumped it out.

"He's a neat freak," Wheeljack observed. "Probably needs to feel control."

"Thank you for the Psychology 101 analysis." Ratchet gave him a sour look.

"Just saying." Wheeljack shrugged. "So what do you see in him, anyway?"

Alarm thrilled through Ratchet's circuits, and he tried not to show a visible reaction. Possibly, he failed, because Skyfire was studying him intently. However, he realized that Wheeljack was just wondering why Ratchet was defending the former 'con so firmly and he'd read too much into the statement. Skyfire's expression was a bit more suspicious.

Once he'd mastered control of his vocalizer, Ratchet said quietly, "I've been spark deep in his memories and code, Wheeljack."

"And …?" Wheeljack prompted.

"Let it go, 'Jack," Skyfire said, voice firm. "That's verging on confidential. Ratchet can't talk about what he saw."

"No, I can't. I've archived and file-locked his personal data and memories, anyway." Ratchet sighed. He didn't want casual access to Soundwave's memories as that would be unethical. "But suffice to say I understand why he made some of the decisions he did, even if I don't agree with his choices."

They weren't satisfied with that answer, he could tell. It would have to do, at least for now. Soundwave was heading in their direction. Ratchet offered him the energon cube, earning himself a scowl from Wheeljack. Ratchet, sensitive to the fact that they were low on energon, explained, "He's using more energon than any two of us combined - and he can't tell what his fuel levels are. He was getting low when I checked him a little bit ago."

Soundwave glanced around at the Autobots, then down at the cube in his hand, and Wheeljack snorted. "He doesn't want to take his mask off, Ratchet."

Ratchet sighed. Wheeljack would empathize with that. He put a hand on Soundwave's back and propelled him towards the door. Soundwave could refuel in his - their - quarters. "Dismissed, everyone."

"Need any help with him?" Skyfire asked, as the others headed for the exit.

"No." Ratchet said, firmly. "I'm fine."

Skyfire stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Ratchet, if you need someone to talk to …"

"About what?" Ratchet growled at him.

Skyfire smiled, unoffended by Ratchet's cantankerous tone. "What you said earlier, when you lost your temper - about us needing to, as you put it, 'slagging forgive if not forget, and quit acting like he's got cosmic rust,' - it was correct. You have forgiven him yourself, have you not?"

"My job is to heal." Ratchet growled. "Not figure out guilt."

"Mmhmm." Skyfire regarded Soundwave for a moment. "You turned him loose on the twins as a test, didn't you?"

"No." Ratchet denied that. "I knew Soundwave could handle them. He needs to be integrated with the crew. It's good for him and good for them to get used to each other."

"Ah." Skyfire chuckled. "You were watching on the monitor in your office?"

"Yeah. I'm not stupid." Ratchet rested a hand casually on Soundwave's arm. "The twins can be unpredictable. They learned something, I think."

"So did I," Skyfire flashed Soundwave a grin. Soundwave reacted by lifting his chin up and tensing a bit in surprise. Ratchet remembered he had no idea what the discussion was about. Skyfire continued, musing, "After seeing him with them, next time I need to work on one of the twins, I'll involve the other one."

"That works until one of them is in serious shape. Don't try it if either of them is critical. They're both prone to panic. For minor repairs, I usually kick the healthy twin out because they slagging annoy me with the banter."

Skyfire laughed. "That is true. Not something Soundwave would have a problem with."

The insults and teasing between Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had verged on obscene. Sunny had teased Sideswipe about enjoying being face-down with a Decepticon touching him, and it had gone downhill from there.

He patted Soundwave's arm. "I doubt he'd be offended anyway, considering his bondmates."

Skyfire snorted a real laugh. "When am I going to get to borrow Frenzy, anyway? 'Jack had him fabricating replacement components for the med bay all day in his lab. He definitely knows his way around a shop, and I've got some bits I need made for the spy drone that Optimus has me building." He wiggled his overlarge fingers. "I'd need tweezers to make them myself."

"Medical needs come first." Ratchet frowned. "I'll get 'Aid to do a quick inventory, and once we've restocked our parts inventory, you can borrow him in a few days. Optimus promised him training, as well as work, so I'd like you to figure out where his knowledge level is currently and then uptrain him."

"Anything in particular you want him trained on?" Skyfire asked, tilting his head to one side.

"What do we need more mechs skilled in?"

Skyfire blew a short exvent out, sighing in aggravation. "Our numbers are too small. We need mechs skilled in everything."

"What can you teach him that would be useful?" Ratchet glanced up at Soundwave, who was standing politely next to them, still and silent. "I'm going to take Frenzy as an unofficial medical apprentice - maybe official, later, if he's interested. But I'd like to expose him to a few disciplines. Steelie was an architect before the war, believe it or not, and I'm going to ask him to tutor Frenzy on building design and maybe get them involved in a couple projects with Grapple. Wheeljack's going to work with him on energy conversion weapons …"

"Is that wise?"

Ratchet shrugged. "The Decepticons have Starscream, who knows more about energy weapons than all the Autobot scientists combined. I doubt Frenzy's at all interested in returning to the 'cons, but if he goes insane and does, he won't know anything that the 'cons don't. Optimus has cleared it."

"Hmm. Starscream's good, it's true - we're fortunate that he has zero attention span and getting him to focus on any one project for more than a few klicks has always been an issue. Now, of course, my specialties are metereology, flight engineering, and interstellar travel. If he's learning architecture from Steelie, I might get him involved in designing the courier ship I've been working on. They're complimentary disciplines, and I am not good at interior design. Maybe he can tackle the floor plan."

"Sounds like a plan." Ratchet nodded approvingly. "I'll make sure he has time to talk to you tomorrow."

Skyfire nodded. "Hopefully, he'll stop being so jumpy around me. You'd think he was afraid I was going to squish him."

"He probably is," Ratchet said, "considering where he's from."

"True." Skyfire grinned. "Well, I should let you get gone."

"Thanks, Skyfire." Ratchet flashed him a brief smile.

"No problem." Skyfire reached out and squeezed Soundwave's shoulder. "See you tomorrow, Soundwave."

Soundwave couldn't understand the words, and he flinched visibly at the touch. However, he steadied after a second, and nodded his head at Skyfire, in quick acknowledgment. Skyfire looked briefly dismayed at Soundwave's jumpy reaction, then said wryly, "Looks like Frenzy's not the only one who's lived too long among the 'cons. - He'll take awhile to really believe that we're different, won't he?"

"Probably. Later, Skyfire." Ratchet guided Soundwave out of the med bay with a hand on his back. Soundwave did not object to his touch, he was pleased to note. To Soundwave, he said, "I'm going to need to get you to work with Skyfire a bit, too. You need friends. Isolation isn't healthy for anyone, and Primus knows I'm horrible company. Skyfire's a good mech."

Soundwave rested his hand on Ratchet's shoulder. It could have just been to help with his balance, but he was moving well enough now with just his cane for stability. When Soundwave's fingers subtly squeezed at Ratchet's plating he flinched with guilty memories, and then forced himself to flash Soundwave a smile. In a cheerful tone that felt fake he said, "C'mon, you. Let's go give you a few more words. I'm up for three hours if you are …"

It would be nice, he thought, when he could actually talk to Soundwave!

Soundwave sipped at the cube of high grade that Ratchet had served him, and then flashed his master a smile.

He wasn't sure what to expect from Ratchet when they'd returned to Ratchet's quarters, but he hadn't even considered the prospect of English lessons. Ratchet had guided him to the couch, sat down next to him, and then instead of the fragging session Soundwave had halfway expected, he'd produced a datapad.

They'd spent the past several hours going over vocabulary. This should have been more frustrating than it had actually proven to be. He knew English, but he couldn't access those data files and connect them to the images he was seeing. He could think in English. He could learn to recognize each word as a symbol. He couldn't connect the two concepts. The hardware connections needed for that were just not there.

Still, seven hours later, Ratchet showed no sign of losing interest, and Soundwave had acquired a vocabulary of about a hundred nouns, the English names of all of the mechs and humans at the base, two dozen words conveying emotions, and four useful verbs: "Get," "Go," "Fix," and "Want." The last word had been the hardest to understand, requiring multiple video examples, animated stick figure sketches, pictures, and pantomine. He thought he understood that 'want' conveyed general desire to posses a thing or to have an outcome happen. Nouns were easy to learn. Verbs were much harder.

He glanced at the clock on his datapad, currently held by Ratchet. It was getting very late, and he assumed they had plenty of work tomorrow. Ratchet might not be showing any signs of flagging, but he suspected that the medic would regret it later if he continued to stay awake. He needed recharge, and Soundwave felt a little guilty for monopolizing his time. He also didn't want Ratchet to burn out and come to resent him.

Ratchet had pulled up a picture of a laser scalpel on Soundwave's datapad, and presumably planned to teach Soundwave that word. Soundwave reached out and firmly pulled the datapad from Ratchet's grasp. He ignored Ratchet's attempt to grab it back, and the subsequent grouchy grumble from the mech, and pointed at the clock. Then he wrote, "Ratchet go berth?"

It was a complete sentence. It was communication. His spark soared at that realization. This was going to work. He'd be able to talk again, to make his thoughts, his wants, his desires and his fears known. He would be able to thank Ratchet for everything he'd done, and he would be able to express to the justifiably suspicious Autobots that he would be loyal if they would simply give Frenzy a home, friends, and a purpose, and treat both of them well. His needs were not great, and he had no loyalty to Megatron now.

He didn't believe in their cause, but he believed in Frenzy's welfare. He hadn't believed in Megatron's ideals, either. He simply wanted to survive to the end of the war, and if that meant helping the Autobots, that was acceptable. Surely, the 'bots could respect that!

Ratchet nodded slowly. He rose, and offered Soundwave a hand up. Soundwave grimaced, unable to hide his distaste for the daily maintenance that he knew Ratchet needed to perform on him. It made him feel like an invalid, and he couldn't help but see it as embarrassing, to need the medic's help with such basic tasks as checking fluid levels and changing oil.

He didn't protest, however, and obediently followed Ratchet into the wash rack. Ratchet's touch was clinical and efficient, for which he was grateful. He shuttered his optics and tried to pretend that this utterly humiliating and degrading fifteen minutes wasn't happening.

For the first time that day, he wondered where Frenzy was. That realization surprised him. Frenzy was safe here; safer than he'd ever been on the Nemesis. He trusted the Autobots to keep his symbiont safe, and treat him well. Other than a few flares of irritation, and once a real fit of frustration that had suddenly morphed into deep amusement - likely, the kid was being teased - he'd felt nothing negative from Frenzy all day. There was a constant undercurrent of sadness and loneliness, but it wasn't acute. His symbiont had still found things to be amused at all day, and there had been a self-satisfied feeling of accomplishment a few hours ago.

Now, Frenzy was blocking the bond, but Soundwave could feel a certain note of contentment and acceptance trickling through. He was with someone - likely, Steeljaw - who made him feel safe and warm. Soundwave thought he was probably having a deep conversation, which pleased Soundwave. The kid needed somebody to talk to.

It also worried him. He desperately didn't want to lose Frenzy.

Soundwave want Frenzy. He'd have to express that to the kid. He wondered what the English word was for love.

Ratchet closed his chest plates with a firm click, startling him from his distracted thoughts. He blinked down at the medic for a moment, and Ratchet chuckled at him, finding something funny that eluded Soundwave. Hopefully, the medic wasn't laughing at his disabilities … no. Ratchet wouldn't.

Ratchet would never laugh at him, though he was certain the medic would laugh with him.

The medic gave him a friendly push in the direction of the wash rack's exit, and Soundwave had a whole new reason for feeling good when he barely even staggered. A few more days and perhaps he'd be able to get around without the cane, at least on level ground.

As he'd told the others, he'd been confident that Soundwave could handle himself with the twins. Neither twin was as sociopathic as was generally believed, and Soundwave had spent a significant percentage of his life working with aggressive soldiers. It had, however, been part of a calculated plan to get the crew used to Soundwave.

Soundwave had exceeded Ratchet's expectations. He'd not just worked calmly with the twins, but Ratchet thought he'd made a huge stride towards earning their respect. Sunstreaker had left the med bay with a distinctly thoughtful expression on his face.

The tall mech, swaying only a little, settled onto the edge of the berth and Ratchet reached for the monitoring cables. Ratchet had left them off the night before, but it was probably best that he be monitored during recharge - there was an outside chance that Soundwave could still suffer another crash. Soundwave frowned down at them for a moment, then looked up at Ratchet with his expression showing rare hesitance. Then, with intent obviously clear, he reached out and traced a finger down Ratchet's armt.

Ratchet also hesitated. It's too soon, he thought. A relationship - and he still thought he was mad to consider it - required communication, didn't it? Still, that look was both wary and interested, in equal parts.

Impulsively, he pinged Frenzy.

:Yeah?: Frenzy answered, with no hostility.

:Kid, can you answer me a couple personal questions about your boss?:

:If you promise to never, ever call me 'kid' again.: Frenzy's response was swift, and a little annoyed.

:Deal.:

:Shoot.:

:This is definitely personal but - did he have many relationships?:

:Other than getting fragged by Megatron a few times?: Frenzy sounded sour. :He was bonded, but you know that. Didn't you see his memories when you hacked him?:

:Yes and no. What I did see, I've archived and locked the files. I can't view it without deliberate effort, and that would be unethical. What I know about him is only from what I actually consciously saw and incorporated into my own memory. That wasn't much. I put the directory trees back into place and pieced together some corrupted files, and I downloaded quite a bit of intelligence - codes and troop positions and the like - that he had in databases, since I was already hacked in and we wouldn't have another chance, and ….

:Yeah, got it, Soundwave did the same thing to more than a few Autobots, minus archiving the personal bits. From what I sense from him, he still likes you. He didn't take it personally.:

Frenzy's tone was teasing. Ratchet snorted. :Good to know he's not going to stab me in the spark during recharge.:

:Yeah, I think there's other parts of you he'd like to stab.:

:Frenzy!: Ratchet objected, but he was laughing. :That's a tad inappropriate.:

:Oh, I'm just getting warmed up.: Frenzy's voice was a smooth purr of innuendo. :Never did figure you for a valve mech, but Soundwave's definitely all spike …:

Ratchet snorted. :Kid, when you're as old as I am, you learn it doesn't matter who plugs who as long as you have a good time.:

:Ratchet!: Now Frenzy sounded scandalized.

:Good night, kid.:

:What was your question, anyway?:

:You just answered it.: He cut the connection, and settled onto the berth beside Soundwave. With expert fingers, he checked over several welds that had worried him. All looked good; Soundwave's auto-repair was slowly replacing the welded material with more durable and less brittle metal. Natural Cybertronian plating had a kind of matrix to it, with long chains of molecules. Welded metal wasn't as strong or flexible; it was, essentially, a scar.

His autorepair would replace the welds with a cybertronium based metallic matrix over time. With as much damage as Soundwave had taken, and as many welds and replaced internals as he had, it would be a long time before he was fully healed. Still, he could already see that the edges of the welds were being replaced.

He was … stalling.

Soundwave put a hand over Ratchet's fingers, and gave him a very significant glance. Then he spread his knees and ran the fingers of his other hand over his interface hatch, and smiled. He tugged at Ratchet's hand.

Ratchet resisted, and pinged Frenzy.

:What now?: Frenzy demanded.

:Could you do me a huge favor and tell me your master's mood?:

:He's worried and scared to death about something.:

:No … desire?:

:None.:

:Slag. Thanks, kid.:

:Megatron made him hurt. For what it's worth.: Frenzy cut the connection.

Ratchet shook his head, wondering if the discussion with Frenzy had been inappropriate, or necessary. It was illuminating. He said aloud, "Soundwave, you want me, don't you? You're doing this because you think it's the only way you can have me?"

He cupped a hand to Soundwave's face, stroking his thumb over the mech's cheek arch. "Soundwave," he said, quietly, "it doesn't need to be this way. I'm attracted to your intelligence and your courage and dignity, and I don't have any desire for you to submit to me. That's what you're trying to do, isn't it?"

Soundwave couldn't understand his words. The mech turned his mouth towards Ratchet's hand and kissed his palm.

He sighed. He wouldn't be interfacing with Soundwave tonight, but he was afraid if he left, Soundwave would take it as a rejection. He felt suddenly, fiercely, protective. He was anticipating this courtship, in ways he'd never known before. He wanted to see Soundwave succeed, to relearn communication and to find a place among the Autobots. He wanted to show Soundwave the difference between a master and a friend and lover. It was so very, very possible.

He wasn't normally a demonstrative mech, but Ratchet didn't feel particularly self-conscious when he slid into the berth next to Soundwave. Soundwave clearly expected Ratchet to frag him, because he spread his knees wider. Ratchet pushed the closest knee away, and simply lay against Soundwave, putting one arm across his broad chest.

"Look at me," he grumbled, "snuggling! I'm too old and cranky for this."

Soundwave was very still, and quiet, for a long moment. Then, suddenly, he rolled over onto his side and wrapped his arms around Ratchet. He was reminded of Soundwave's greater size when the mech easily pulled Ratchet into his embrace.

Ratchet tensed, unsure what Soundwave was going to do. However, Soundwave simply held him, pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and spooned up against him. He could hear Soundwave's fans running a little fast, and when he twisted around to look up, he could see Soundwave's expression.

The mech was smiling at him softly, real affection on his features. He didn't have to ask Frenzy to know that Soundwave was content, and no longer worried. The look on the mech's face easy enough to read; he was happy.

Soundwave put his head down and arranged his arms a little more comfortably around Ratchet. For a moment, he traced a light circle around one of Ratchet's vents, long fingers nimble and confident. Then he started to power down.

I'm too damn old and cranky for this, Ratchet thought, but it wasn't true. Soundwave's arms felt right, and the powerful body pressed up against his seemed like it belonged there. His spark fluttered with sudden, giddy hope. As Soundwave slipped into a steady, stable recharge, Ratchet whispered, "... I'm a fool."

He didn't feel at all foolish.