"Drink your beer, Dave." Sebastian pleasantly said.
Dave and Sebastian were sitting at the far end of the bar, away from the noisy jukebox and video display. It was a calm Thursday night at Scandals. The dance floor was empty and the dozen or so patrons were situated with others at various tables or the front of the bar. In other words, Dave and Sebastian had relative privacy.
Dave accepted the Budweiser from Sebastian with a little smile, clinked his beer bottle with Sebastian's, and took a sip. The cold beer slid down his throat, but a little escaped to his chin.
Embarrassed, Dave quickly pulled his beer bottle away from his mouth, reached for a napkin, and quickly wiped his chin. Sebastian watched everything with a calm expression. Dave expected at least a little smile from Sebastian, but didn't receive one. Dave was almost disappointed.
"Sorry," Dave said amiably, "I guess I'm a little thirsty."
"Guess so." Sebastian said, almost distractedly.
The jukebox changed to a slower song, something instrumental and bluesy. Small town gay bars often do this – they don't often simply play the trance-like, emotionless techno music like other gay bars. The boys paid attention to the music momentarily before returning to each other's gaze.
They were slightly uncomfortable and didn't know why. The magical connection they made at the carnival seemed a distant memory. Dave took a moment to watch Sebastian fiddle with his beer label while Dave absently picked at his thumbnail. Once in a while, one of the boys would glance around the bar at nothing in particular, make eye contact with each other, smile, and look at their beer bottles.
Nothing seemed right all of a sudden. It was as if the boys were strangers.
"Somethin' on your mind?" Dave asked, not even bothering to look up.
Sebastian grimaced before standing up.
"I have to go to the bathroom." And with that, Sebastian briskly walked away.
Dave watched him go, completely baffled. Again, it was as if they were complete strangers now and neither knew why. It was frustrating.
The bartender waltzed by, checking their beers. Satisfied they didn't need another, he walked away.
Sebastian's departure turned from seconds into minutes. Dave briefly considered going to the bathroom to check on Sebastian before he saw him walking back to their end of the bar.
Sebastian sat down with a huff.
"Sebastian?" Dave asked, leaning in a little bit.
"Dave?" Sebastian sarcastically replied.
Dave leaned back, surprised at the callous response. Sebastian turned and coolly looked at Dave. Dave, confused, just stared at him.
Seconds passed. Gradually, Sebastian's coldness faltered and he appeared remorseful. Dave watched everything unfold before him before Sebastian finally spoke.
"Oh God, what am I doing?" Sebastian exclaimed, clearly exasperated. "I'm blowing it…."
"What do you mean?" Dave heartily asked.
Sebastian didn't reply right away. He was lost in thought. Dave briefly considered reaching out to him, but something told him to leave him alone. Sebastian was trying to come to terms with something and Dave surmised he needed to do this by himself. Dave was right.
"I…." Sebastian began, and stopped. Again, Dave blinked a few times and waited.
Turning away from Dave, Sebastian resumed fiddling with the beer bottle's label, but with a more ferocious pace. Dave sighed, gently stroking his forehead – a sign of confusion and frustration.
He's nervous, Dave thought. Dave took a sip from his beer. Around them, Scandals was its ordinary, rather subdued self. The bartender served insistent patrons, couples laughed, and Sebastian looked terrible.
"Sebastian, what's wrong?" Dave asked sympathetically.
"Nothing." Sebastian calmly replied, not bothering to look up. The beer bottle's label was in shreds.
"Sebastian-"
"I don't know how to do this." Sebastian suddenly said.
"Do what?" Dave calmly asked.
"Do…this!" Sebastian said, waving his hands in the air towards Dave. "Talk. You know, without….."
Dave just looked at the struggling boy, not completely comprehending what could be happening with him.
"Do you mean…just talking?" Dave gently asked. "You know? Like we did at the carnival?"
A vicious pang of remorse shot through Sebastian. He just didn't know how to behave if he wasn't being the Sebastian he wanted to get away from – the slutty, snarky, controlling, bitchy Sebastian. But he just couldn't verbalize it. And Dave made it sound so simple.
"Yeah…." Sebastian quietly admitted.
Dave shifted in his seat, closer to Sebastian.
"Then, how about we just do this?"
Suddenly, Dave's hand engulfed Sebastian's. Sebastian looked at the meaty hand completely covering his own. Gratefully, he turned and snatched up Dave's hand. Then, he looked up into Dave's compassionate eyes. No words were spoken. None were needed. Helpful eyes looked into soft eyes and passionate body language took over. Gentle smiles adorned their faces.
Dave began stroking Sebastian's hand, squeezing it from time to time. And for the first time in several long minutes, Sebastian smirked.
He's back, Dave thought.
.
The night seemed to flow better after that. More patrons arrived around them, filling nearby seats. Sebastian recognized somebody and briefly smiled before returning his attention to Dave. The boys had begun easy moving conversations then. Talks surrounding the carnival, Carolyn, and high school graduation flowed between them. Occasionally, Dave would see Sebastian genuinely smile and, knowing he caused it, loved it. Sebastian too was having fun with Dave. The boys were simply having a good night.
The bartender stopped by again and fulfilled Dave's order for another round of Budweisers. Sebastian goofily thanked Dave for the beer by standing up before him and bowing, old-world style. Dave shielded his eyes in embarrassment while Sebastian giggled. Sebastian, too, loved making Dave laugh, but embarrassing him proved to be the icing on the cake. I'll have to remember that, Sebastian giddily thought. The music got louder, brave patrons began dancing, and the night was underway.
Dave loved stealing little glances at Sebastian. Sebastian's golden smile and dazzling green eyes captivated him. Sebastian too ogled Dave's broad shoulders and loved his arms. The boys' obvious attraction to each other didn't go unnoticed. Shy little embarrassed laughs would fall out of their mouths in so many boyish ways.
However, conversation was about to take a heavy turn and neither of them were prepared for it.
"Sebastian, you are so incredibly silly!" Dave said, between chuckles.
"Thank you, kind sir. I humbly try." Sebastian said, with obnoxious overtones.
Dave just giggled staring at Sebastian's smiling cheeks and inviting lips. Overtones of sexual attraction seemed to be OK with the boys as long as humor could help relieve the tension. It obviously worked.
"So," Dave began again, chuckling, "the other day – why were you trying to avoid your Dad?"
The air dropped. Sebastian suddenly stilled and his gorgeous smile faded. Dave instantly regretted asking the question, but the bomb had already been dropped.
Sebastian turned a little away from Dave, sending the appropriate signal.
"I'm sorry, Seb." Dave gingerly began, "I didn't mean to-"
"I hate him." Sebastian quietly said.
Concerned, Dave scooted in much closer – so much closer, in fact, that their thighs were touching. It was only natural for Dave to become protective at this point, but it was a little bit of a surprise for Sebastian. But Sebastian accepted Dave's protection.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Dave gently asked, slowly reaching for Sebastian's hand. Sebastian didn't say a word, his eyes glued to Dave's hand. It didn't take long for Dave to realize that Sebastian wanted and needed Dave to touch him in a friendly way.
Dave's hand finally connected with Sebastian's. But this time, Dave used his entire hand to gently stroke Sebastian's hand, in slow up and down ways. Sebastian watched, as if entranced, as Dave lightly touched Sebastian's fingertips, down the fingers, slowly swirling on the back, and gently squeezing the wrist.
Sebastian was speechless. Nobody had shown this much kindness, this much physical kindness in a long time. He looked up into the most encouraging, sympathetic, and safely passionate hazel eyes owned by David Karofsky. Sebastian was overcome!
A tear dropped out of his eye. Dave, now greatly concerned, shifted his stool right beside Sebastian. Sebastian looked away, but felt an enormous arm around his shoulders. That was the final straw.
Sebastian fell apart. Tears turned into angry sobs and Dave pulled him to his chest.
"Let's go somewhere more private." Dave whispered, his lips just mere inches away from Sebastian's golden hair. Hesitantly, Sebastian nodded.
Paying for the final round of Budweisers, Dave protectively guided Sebastian up. He slouched a little in Dave's grasp, but didn't fall. Dave was worried. They walked towards the exit, deliberately ignoring occasional glances from tipsy patrons.
They emerged into the parking lot, the heat smacking their bodies. But Dave continued to guide Sebastian to his truck, unlocking the passenger door for Sebastian to get in. Sebastian easily slid into the seat and Dave quietly closed the door. Dave dashed around the truck and bounced into the driver's seat. Not a moment was spared to turn the engine on, providing cool, conditioned air for the boys. Once Dave was satisfied with the temperature setting and the truck in general, he turned his full attention to the troubled boy in the passenger seat.
Dave winced. Sebastian was a picture of misery. His eyes were glossy, red, and puffy. The once beautifully smiling boy had the worst frown Dave had ever seen on him. Sebastian slouched in the seat a little, mindlessly adjusting the vents to get cooler. Dave watched him protectively. He didn't like or understand what was happening to Sebastian, but was momentarily powerless to do anything about it.
"I'm sorry, Dave." Sebastian said quietly, wiping a tear away.
"Nothin' to be sorry for, Seb." Dave sturdily replied. "I just know that something is seriously wrong and if I can help, I will."
Sebastian turned and looked at Dave gratefully. "I don't think there's anything you can do."
Dave looked towards the console, hating what he was hearing. He wanted Sebastian to open up to him, but he wanted it to be on Sebastian's terms.
"Seb," Dave carefully began, "whatever you want to talk about, I'll listen."
"Can you just…..?" Sebastian began, but stopped himself.
"What?" Dave asked. "Just name it. I'll do it." A fresh round of tears was threatening to fall on Sebastian's smooth, flawless face and Dave wanted it to stop.
"Just….." Sebastian again struggled. He wasn't used to being this vulnerable but something told him he could trust Dave. Dave retained eye contact, saying with his eyes that he would help him.
"Just…..don't let go of me for a little while."
Dave smiled. "Of course."
Dave reached over and pulled the sullen boy to his chest. Sebastian's tears exploded. Anguished sobs erupted out of Sebastian and Dave slowly rubbed his back. Sebastian's body shuddered a little from time to time and Dave simply held him tighter. He struggled to get his sobs under control. He needed to talk. He needed to release. He needed…..Dave.
"He's a neglectful son of a bitch." Sebastian angrily began, "And I wish he would just get out of my life!"
Dave momentarily stopped stroking his back, shocked at Sebastian's revelation. Then, Dave resumed consoling the boy in his arms, very slowly but firmly rubbing his back.
"What's he done?" Dave quietly asked. Sebastian, seemingly glued to Dave's shoulder, finally sat up a little. But Dave didn't remove his arms.
"He works fifty or sixty hours a day." Sebastian firmly began. "He doesn't care what I did with the Warblers. He never came to a performance. He didn't even react when I was a valedictorian candidate. He ignores Carolyn! He won't give her the fucking time of day! He dumps her on me! We don't exist!"
Sebastian fell back to Dave's chest, crying and crying. Dave held him tight, making sure Sebastian knew he wouldn't neglect him.
"If it helps," Dave gently began, "I think you're awesome."
Sebastian chuckled through his tears. Then, he slowly lifted his head and gazed into Dave's wonderfully sympathetic eyes. Their faces were mere inches from each other and Dave just wanted to kiss him. Sebastian did too. Their eyes drifted down to each other's lips, wanting and wanting.
Suddenly, Dave lunged to Sebastian's lips. He moved his hands to Sebastian's smooth cheeks, steadying him. Sebastian responded to the kiss, pressing his lips to Dave's as if his life depended on it. The kiss deepened, hands explored backs and chests, and passion seemed to explode.
Abruptly, Sebastian pulled away. Shocked, Dave looked into Sebastian's eyes with total confusion. Sebastian cleared his throat, sitting back in the passenger side.
"I have to go, Dave. I'm sorry." And with that, Sebastian quickly opened the door, ignoring Dave's confused expression. Sebastian quickly emerged from the truck and ran to his car. Dave got out of his truck and started to run towards Sebastian, but he was already starting the engine of his cute little black car.
Dave ran to Sebastian. "Sebastian! Wait!" But he was already pulling out of the parking lot and leaving. Dave continued to run, calling out the boy's name, but Sebastian was gone.
Dave stood there, panting. Passionate confusion reigned and Dave didn't know what to do. He lunged for his pants pocket and opened his phone. He fired off a quick text to Sebastian – "Pls come back" Dave waited a few seconds for a response. But one didn't come.
He sighed. The nighttime air was hot and muggy. But it didn't matter. Dave was confused. And hurt. And angry.
.