Chapter 16

"You sure this is okay?" Frenzy shifted nervously in front of the door to the Witwicky's quarters while Steeljaw knocked. The humans had lived on the Ark for almost two decades, after taking over a storage cabinet in Bumblebee's quarters. They'd turned it into what was, for humans, a spacious apartment. The cabinet was bigger than most human homes.

Steeljaw smirked at him, knowing the expression would annoy Frenzy just enough to make him forget about his fears. Frenzy, on his best behavior and worried about how people might react to him, was adorable. He teased gently, "Scared of a few humans?"

Frenzy snapped, :I can behave. I've gotten into trouble plenty of times when I didn't deserve it, though. The humans got no reason to like me. I can't afford trouble.:

:You will be fine. Carly is very fair, and she will give you a chance to prove yourself: Steeljaw rested his head against Frenzy's chest, hearing the thrum of Frenzy's systems and feeling the heat of his spark. Frenzy hugged him back, fingers trailing down his neck, grip just a little too tight.

Frenzy was trying so hard, Steeljaw realized, but it was the first time he'd heard the other symbiont really voice his concerns. He was apparently terrified he would 'get in trouble' and he trusted the Autobots so little that he feared even a minor mis-step might cause them to turn on him.

When the door slid open, Steeljaw leisurely straightened up while Frenzy frantically stiffened and pushed away. Steeljaw wasn't worried about Daniel's opinion, but Frenzy was trying so hard not to get 'caught' showing too much affection to said calmly, "Hey, Daniel."

"Steelie." The young man's gaze flicked from Frenzy to Steeljaw and back. "Umm, Mom said you were coming over."

"Daniel," Steeljaw bumped his forehead against the human's chest and collected a hug from the young man, "You know Frenzy, but maybe reintroductions are in order. Frenzy, this is one of my best friends in the world, Daniel Witwicky. Daniel, this is Frenzy, who, you will note, is no longer a 'con and is also my friend."

"You're saying play nice, huh?" Daniel said, with a somewhat nervous laugh. "I can do that."

"Thanks, Dan." Steeljaw cast Frenzy a teasing grin as he entered the human quarters. "If Frenzy doesn't play nice, I'll bite him for you."

"Ooooh, I'm so scared," Frenzy stepped through the doorway and poked Steeljaw with one finger. His humor sounded a little forced. "You know I could beat your aft."

"You keep saying that, you're gonna need to prove it." Steeljaw smirked at him over one shoulder, and bumped him with his hip. Frenzy retaliated by poking Steeljaw between a gap in his armor, accurately nailing a sensor array with just enough force to tickle. Steeljaw swung his tail hard into Frenzy's aft with a loud metallic clang, then shied aside with Frenzy tried to swat him hard. Frenzy's reaction was much more natural than his earlier forced humor. He'd managed to harass Frenzy into forgetting his fear.

"Guys," Daniel said, a little bit of worry in his voice. "Not in here. Umm, take it outside if you're gonna fight, okay?"

"Oh, don't worry," Steeljaw purred, "I'm housebroken. I'm not sure about the runt."

"Runt!" Frenzy spluttered, but he was grinning. "Look who's talking, Mousebreath."

"... Mousebreath?" Daniel asked.

"Oh, it's a great story …" .

"Later, Sweetspark." Steeljaw's endearment would have given a lot more away about their relationship if it hadn't been delivered in quite so sarcastic of a tone. "Daniel, is your mom here yet?"

"Yeah, she's in her office." Daniel patted him affectionately on the shoulder. "Go on up. And have fun. Frenzy, you have to tell me that story later."

"I will, unless Steelie can bribe me into silence first."

:Frenzy!: He protested the implications.

:Didn't say what kind of bribe it had to be, Mouser.:

:Oh, really?: He narrowed his eyes at the other symbiont.

:Oh, really, big boy: Frenzy's innocent expression was totally at odds with the sultry tone he'd adopted. He was also totally joking; the sexy tone wasn't any more 'Frenzy' than the innocent expression.

:it is very disturbing when you do that,: Steeljaw informed him.

Daniel, oblivious to the byplay, advised Frenzy, "I've always found that Steelie was easy to bribe with D&D books."

"Really?" Frenzy sounded intrigued. "I read a bit about that, but me'n Rumble didn't have anyone to play with."

"Come on, Sweetspark." Steeljaw chuckled. "I'm sure that's not the only thing I can be bribed with. And for the record, Daniel, if you need to bribe Frenzy, he's worse than Tracks about a good wax."

"Cheaper to wax, too," Daniel observed, grinning.

"I'm still taller than you, squishy," Frenzy straightened up to his full height of just over six feet feet.

Daniel took a step back.

"But Daniel's a crack shot," Steeljaw said.

Daniel burst out laughing at the reminder of the first time he'd tangled with Frenzy, when he had been just a child. He'd shot first, and Frenzy had tried to kill him in retaliation. "Oh, Primus. I'm never going to live that down."

"Yeah, you scorched my plating good," Frenzy said, in mock irritation.

"Totally not apologizing for that." Daniel folded his arms across his chest.

"C'mon, Sweetspark," Steeljaw shoved Frenzy in the direction of the stairs with his nose. "This is going nowhere good, and we have work to do today."

Daniel's laughter followed them up the stairs. Steeljaw was pleased; he thought he'd succeeded in breaking the ice between the two of them - and Daniel, who was one of his best friends, and his new lover had lots of potential to be buddies. Frenzy needed a bigger circle of friends than just himself and Ratchet.

"Have fun, Mouser!" Daniel shouted, as they reached the first landing.

"Bite me, Danny boy," he shot back, to more laughter from the human. "You know I'll have fun."

"With Frenzzzzzy?" Daniel's teasing innuendo meant nothing.

"With your mom!" He didn't mean it the way it came out, though the way Frenzy's howl of laughter drowned out Daniel's indignant splutter they certainly thought he had. He started to apologize, frantically, to explain he had meant no innuendo.

"I'm going out with Bee," Daniel snapped, though there was amusement twinkling in his eyes. Steeljaw wanted to sink into the floor. Daniel, who had known him since he was an infant, certainly realized he hadn't meant it the way it had sounded. he wasn't sure if that made it worse or better. Frenzy was still cackling. "Before this any further downhill. Have fun with my mom, Steeljaw, and remember that I know where you sleep."

It was true he was looking forward to the technical challenge of modifying Soundwave's visor with Carly, but, as he climbed the second flight of stairs to the second level of the humans' quarters, he thought he would have enjoyed cleaning the wash rack waste tanks with Frenzy. The two of them just clicked. It didn't matter what they were doing, he simply liked Frenzy's company.

He glanced over at Frenzy. The symbiont flashed him an utterly incorrigible grin, poked him between two armor plates, then ran up the last couple of steps.

He was truly in love, he thought. Frenzy wasn't just his lover - the mech was turning into a friend.

Carly glanced up from her laptop for the umpteenth time that evening, marveling at the two mechs in her work room. Steeljaw was being himself: affable, polite, sensible, with a hefty dose of charisma and a sneaky sense of humor. Frenzy, however, was a real surprise. She thought she was seeing the real Frenzy for the first time, not the crazed symbiont she'd witnessed too many times in conflict with the Autobots.

The former 'con sat crosslegged on the floor, a datapad tucked between his legs. He had a schematic pulled up on it, and was modifying a circuit board with a delicate soldering iron and a box of tiny electronic parts. Some required tweezers to handle. She never would have guessed he was capable of that much sustained focus or patience, much less that he had the knowledge to modify hardware to such an extent.

"Frenzy, where did you learn engineering?" she asked, conversationally.

"Soundwave." He glanced up, and flashed her a brief smile. "M'brother and I were slaves - we belonged to his bonded. When she died, he bought our contracts. We didn't know slag until he trained us."

"He bought you?" She couldn't quite keep the horror from her voice.

His eyes flashed with a bit of irritation. "It wasn't like that. We ran away. He bought our contracts to keep them from hunting us down and killing us. He liked us. Penalty for being an escaped slave was death, if the master didn't want you back, and the family didn't. We weren't much more use than a couple of cleaning drones 'cuz we didn't know anything and we didn't have any useful upgrades. He freed us, woman. Then he took care of us for a long time before we agreed to bond with him. We could have left. Soundwave's never taken a symbiont who didn't want to be with him, who didn't chose him of their own free will. He's a great master."

"Um, sorry."

Steeljaw, sprawled on the floor next to Frenzy, sat up and put a front leg around Frenzy's shoulders. By the flickers of emotions across their faces, she knew they were comming each other. Steeljaw sighed. Frenzy briefly buried his face in Steeljaw's shoulder. Steeljaw stroked his back. Frenzy smiled faintly.

To her, Steeljaw said, "It's hard for him, Carly. He's lost everything and Soundwave's hurt so bad."

Frenzy gave her a wry smile. "Bet you didn't expect me to be so emo."

"Not really, no. You're not what I expected. I'm, umm, sorry for your losses."

She was surprised by his easy use of slang. While most Cybertronians spoke accent-less English, not all were truly fluent. Slang, and the finer nuances of general word usage, were more difficult for them to master. Then again, his master specialized in communications, and had clearly trained his servants well.

Frenzy shrugged. "That's war, I guess."

"Maybe it will be over soon."

Frenzy's answer surprised her. In what was an utterly normal, conversational tone of voice, he explained, "Megatron will fight until somebody takes him out. Any peace treaty he signs, he'd break later, when peace wasn't convenient for him any more. But I'm sure Prime knows that by now."

"I'm sure." She regarded him curiously for a moment. He looked relaxed again, and he was sitting close enough to Steeljaw that he casually reached out and stroked Steeljaw's shoulder.

The whole evening felt surreal. Frenzy was just so damn ordinary by Cybertronian standards. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but he certainly wasn't it.

Steeljaw snorted, "I think we all know that by now. Maybe, if we're lucky, Starscream will do the job for us."

She shivered. "And then we'd have Starscream to deal with."

"Nah." Frenzy didn't even seem to be aware that he was tracing circles with his thumb on Steeljaw's plating. The very casual way they touched each other made her wonder if there was more to their relationship than they were admitting. Steelie was touchy-feely, and was a master at gathering hugs from the most unlikely of mechs, but there was a connection between him and Frenzy that seemed to be a little more intimate than she'd expect.

Surely, she was imagining it. On the other hand, Steeljaw had confided in her more than once that he was lonely, but that he had no prospects for finding a partner on the Ark.

Frenzy poked distractedly at his data pad for a moment, then repeated, "Nah. Screamer'd end the war."

"You think?" Steeljaw said, with interest.

"I know. Starscream," Frenzy typed in a string of characters, "wants to rule. He wants power."

"And ending the war would give him that?" Carly said, skeptically. She didn't follow his logic.

Frenzy shot her an amused look, "Sure. Uh - Mouser, can you look at this?" Frenzy handed him the datapad and the circuit he was testing out. "I keep getting hardware errors and I'm stumped."

Steeljaw's frown indicated he didn't see an easy solution to the problem either. He started poking at the datapad while Frenzy explained to her, "Starscream's not stupid, and he's a survivor. He wants power, and adulation, and all that slag but he doesn't want to get dead trying to win it. He'd be more than willing to compromise with Prime, work out some sort of treaty that left him with power and rank - and he wouldn't be half bad as a leader, honestly. You can reason with Starscream, and he's more sane than you'd expect. Good boss, too - he looks out for his people. The reason Megatron hasn't taken him out is that Starscream's slagging effective at keeping the fliers in line."

Steeljaw said quietly, "He's not sadistic like Megatron, is he?"

"Oh, he's got a temper," Frenzy smirked. "And he's a perv. Believe me, he's pervy. But - no. He's not cruel. And he looks out for his friends."

"Were you his friend?" Carly asked, curiously.

"Hah? Me? No. Starscream and Soundwave aren't buddies. I'm Soundwave's symbiont. So, no, I'm not his friend."

"Did you want to be?"

"No, not really."

"Just wondering. You sounded like you admired him."

Frenzy snorted. "They're fraggers, the whole lot of them. This is my home now. I'm never going back to the 'cons, and there's none of 'em I'd miss."

"Ah." She suspected that there was an element of denial there. She didn't think anyone - human or Cybertronian - could spend eons with a team of other people and not get attached. His respect for Starscream made her wonder if he secretly liked the mech.

"They all thought I was a useless, stupid little symbiont with no more autonomy than a drone." He sounded bitter. "My enemies give me a lot more credit for brains than the 'cons ever did."

Or maybe not … maybe he really had no sympathy left for the other 'cons. His mouth was set in a hard line, jaw clenched. She decided, again, that he was angry and in denial. He missed them, at least some of them, and now he was living with the Autobots.

Steeljaw looked up from the datapad and said firmly, "I know you're a lot more than a drone, Sweetspark. And I am not your enemy."

"Don't call me that!" Frenzy protested, but it was a weak protest. "Don't!" He repeated, as Steeljaw subspaced the datapad and circuit board, then shifted his position so that he could make his hug tighter. Frenzy added, "And of course, you know I'm not a drone."

"Yeah." Steelie met Carly's gaze. Some of her growing suspicion about the nature of their relationship must have shown on her face because he gave her a rueful smile. "You know all the times you told me there's someone for everyone?"

She snorted a laugh at his tone. Then she said, "I take it that this is your somebody?" And gestured at Frenzy. "Congratulations. Frenzy, if you hurt him I'll turn you into an eight track."

Both of them seemed to relax. Steeljaw smiled, a little shyly. Frenzy grinned and shot back, "Rolling Stones?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "The Brady Bunch Greatest Hits."

Steeljaw observed, "Don't piss her off, Frenzy. She's evil."

"So I noticed." His ruby optics were bright with amusement.

"So, uh, how long have you two known each other?" It was the question she was dying to know the answer to, and this seemed like a good opportunity to ask.

"As other than enemies? Only since he arrived here." Steeljaw's tone turned wry. "And before you lecture me on that not being enough time to really know each other - we're aware of that."

That was news. She had assumed they'd known each other from before the war, or that Frenzy (and Soundwave) had been Autobot moles. Some of her concern must have been visible in her expression, because Frenzy said wistfully, "It's funny, but I feel like I've known him forever - and I wish I had."

"And the commanders know about this?" She asked, still feeling protective of Steeljaw. He was just such a good person.

"Yeah." Steeljaw grinned ruefully. "They know. Optimus has granted Frenzy and Soundwave amnesty, however, and we're not breaking any regs - not anymore, anyway. We're just sort've keeping it quiet - I don't mind people I trust knowing, but I just don't want to deal with slag."

The 'not anymore' clued her in about why Steeljaw, who never did anything worse than an occasional prank, had been scrubbing the floors and the wash racks every day before his regular shift.

Frenzy added, "We are keeping it quiet. I don't want Steeljaw to get in trouble on my account."

"I'm not worried about that, Sweetspark …"

The endearment, unsurprisingly to Carly, made Frenzy roll his optics.

"... but I think it will go smoother if people know you as you before we break their brains with us." Steeljaw traced a short finger down Frenzy's arm. "Right now, you're just a well-behaved 'con to a lot of Autobots, and a lot of people assume that you'll betray us sooner or later …"

"... which would be remarkably stupid of me! What would happen to Soundwave if I screwed up?"

"And you'd miss me too much," Steeljaw said, teasingly.

Frenzy shot him a look that seemed genuinely surprised.

"Oh, does that look mean that you wouldn't miss me?" Steelie grinned toothily.

Frenzy was silent, but the surprise appeared to be turning to disconcerted panic. He clearly didn't know how to react. Finally, somewhat snarkily, he snapped, "You think a lot of yourself, don't you?"

Carly winced on Steeljaw's behalf, but Steeljaw seemed unruffled. His optics briefly met Carly's before he turned his full attention to Steeljaw. He said softly to Frenzy, "It's hard to admit you care about someone when you're scared you'll lose them, isn't it?"

Oh. Steeljaw's words seeemed to strike home, because Frenzy shuttered his optics and sat very still for a moment. Steeljaw, ever patient, and infinitely understanding, had not taken Frenzy's reaction personally. She hoped Frenzy understood just what a special person his lover was, because she would reformat him if he hurt Steelie.

Frenzy finally huffed a sharp sigh. "Okay, okay. I'd miss you."

"Mmmhmm." Steeljaw nodded, rubbing his cheek against the side of Frenzy's head. "Carly, we've got a ton done tonight. I think it's time to call it quits. I bet we have the new visor done by tomorrow."

"Yeah, you're probably right." She suspected that Frenzy'd reached his limit of being social, and that Steeljaw knew it. The poor mech had really been through a lot …

She realized she was empathizing with Frenzy. It was a very surreal moment, to know she was worried about the emotional well being of a Decepticon who'd once tried to kill her son. She wasn't sure if she should feel guilty for that, or not.

Frenzy rose, and when she stood up too, he offered her his hand with a startling display of human-style courtesy. "Thank you, Mrs. Witwicky."

"For what?" His hand was delicately articulated, and when she grasped it, he exerted just the right amount of pressure to be firm without hurting her. He was, as he'd teasingly observed before, taller than her, but he was built on a human scale. Spike was taller, actually, by an inch or two. She could look him in the eyes and meet his gaze.

Once again, she was struck by how intelligent and normal he seemed.

"For …" his smile was wry, "... being nice."

"Oh, hell." She hugged him, recklessly disregarding the power and danger in his small frame. He might be disarmed, he might be only a few inches taller than she was, but he could rip her from limb to limb in a fraction of a second. He was solid, warmer than a human, heavier, and she felt him freeze in surprise. His armor moved, pressing flat to his frame. It felt alive His systems hummed louder. He was not happy about being hugged.

Well, he'd have to get used to it. She said, "I'll see you tomorrow, Frenzy."

He relaxed a bit, and briefly returned the hug. He wouldn't meet her eyes, staring instead at the floor, when she released him. "Umm. Thanks."

"C'mon, Frenzy. If you stick around, she'll be serving you milk and cookies and telling you bedtime stories next." Steeljaw nudged Frenzy towards the room's door with his nose.

She glared at him. "I know better than that." After pausing a beat, she added, "Rust sticks and sweet energon, anyway. As you well know. "

"I do, I do." Steeljaw was herding Frenzy towards the door. She heard him whisper in a conspiratorial tone to the little symbiont, "... she makes the best energon gummies."

"Do you want to come back to my quarters with me?" Steeljaw offered, sounding a little cautious, "My brothers are home. They're watching some action movie, with a superhero or something."

"Sounds like fun," Frenzy forced a bright smile to his face. He didn't really want to return to Ratchet's quarters; Soundwave was blocking him, but an odd mixture of confusion, desire, and grief was leaking through. He … couldn't face whatever was going on right now. Particularly since he suspected Ratchet was involved.

Steeljaw gave him a concerned look. :We could go … find someplace private, if you need some time to chill out. You've been trying awfully hard to put on a brave front, Sweetspark. It's okay if you've had enough for now. I get it.:

He … should have been irritated by that. Had those words come from anyone else, he would have reacted with defensive anger. Steeljaw was different, somehow, and suddenly, he knew he didn't ever want to let Steeljaw go. It was terrifying, to want someone so very badly. He couldn't picture a future without Steeljaw in it.

He hadn't been able to picture a future without his siblings, either. And now they were gone.

The thought that he could lose Steeljaw the same way terrified him.

:Frenzy?:

:Gonna keep trying hard,: he informed Steeljaw, words a bit terse.

:Glad to hear that.:

:I think … just you and me …: He let out a shuddering sigh. :Your brothers are cool, but …:

:They're a bit overwhelming. I know.: Steeljaw's expression was rueful. Then his optics held a distant look for a couple seconds, and Frenzy detected an encrypted comm from him, sent to someone else. To Steeljaw, he added, :Believe me, I know. C'mon, Prowl just cleared it if you want to go outside with me for a bit.:

Frenzy leaned back against Steeljaw's side, feeling the warmth and low hum of his lover's systems behind him. Steeljaw was silent, head silhouetted against the starry sky. Silent, calm, and so very steady.

Somewhere, a cricket chirped. They'd walked far enough away from the entrance to the Ark that they couldn't hear the footsteps of the guards or the hum of the Ark's power system. Light from the spotlights around the ship shone over a ridge between the ship and their location, and illuminated the hillside above their heads, but they were in the shadows.

Silverbolt launched into the air, a graceful, large, silhouette. Frenzy clicked his vision over to infrared briefly to verify the identity. Against the cold sky, the jet glowed white. He accelerated, broke the sound barrier with a rumbling boom, and then disappeared over the horizon.

Steeljaw, who was apparently monitoring comm channels, said, "Bolt's going to pick some parts up for Ratchet. We've got a lab that does some machine work for us."

"Should you be telling me things like that?" Technically, that qualified as intelligence. He didn't want Steeljaw to get in trouble because Steeljaw had forgotten who - and what - Frenzy was. He wasn't exactly sure what 'asylum' meant but he was pretty sure that it could be changed back to 'prisoner' in a hurry.

The feline symbiont sighed. "With about two seconds of work, you could decrypt the chatter and figure his mission out. It's not classified. The location and identity of the lab is, for obvious reasons."

Frenzy snorted. "Sanosuke Enterprises."

"Slag." Steeljaw tensed in dismay. "You are not supposed to know that."

"Soundwave's very good at decrypting communications." The smile on Frenzy's face slipped away. He corrected himself, "Was."

"Frag, frag. We need to warn them, send guards …" Steeljaw half rose off the ground.

"Oh, chill, Mouser. Megs and Screamer don't know. Soundwave's got a head full of intelligence he never shared. It was to his strategic benefit to keep secrets until they were needed. Screamer couldn't keep his mouth shut - I couldn't count the number of times he blabbed something to the wrong mech, and it ruined a nasty surprise for you guys. Megatron was so fragging impulsive that he'd jump the gun and make tactically stupid plans." Frenzy huffed and then threw a rock down the hillside. "If my master had been in charge, the war would have been decisively over a long time ago."

"I've heard Jazz compare Megatron to a bull, in the earth sport of bull fighting. If he sees a target, he'll charge it, without a good plan of attack," Steeljaw commented.

"What did he compare Starscream to?"

"A rooster."

Frenzy snickered. "I hid in a barn once, on a mission. There was a rooster. It saw its reflection in my leg and kept attacking it. Then it humped my foot. Apt. Oh, so apt."

"That's Jazz for you." Steeljaw shifted, stretching out to his full length on the sandy hillside. He seemed relaxed, with his plating flared open to the cool night breeze and his fans silent. "Frenzy, how are you doing? Really?"

He blinked, hearing the invitation in that question. It would be oh-so-easy to deny he hurt, to tell Steeljaw everything was fine, and to put on a brave front. To admit to his feelings was to admit to weakness. However, Steeljaw was offering to listen.

"I'm scared," he said, in what felt like a startlingly normal voice. He leaned back against Steeljaw's warm bulk, and stared up at the starry sky. "And I miss my siblings, and it's crazy, but I miss Soundwave even though he's still alive and everything. And I think of the future, and it seems like I'll never hurt less."

Steeljaw's azure blue eyes closed briefly in the darkness. "You never stop missing them. That pain will always be there. But you can fill your life with other good things, with people, who will make life worth living. It's what I had to do, when I decided I wanted to really live. I … lost everything when my first master died. I had to make a life I could enjoy and be happy with."

Frenzy said wryly, "Sounds hard."

"And scary," Steeljaw acknowledged. "What scares you, Sweetspark?"

"Too much." He drew his knees to his chest. For once, he didn't object to the hated endearment. For once, it didn't sound teasing. "I'm afraid I'll offend someone. I'm afraid someone will attack me - or worse, Soundwave - because they bear a grudge. I'm half afraid to look 'em in the eyes, because half the Autobots hate me and I know I'll see that. I'm afraid this won't last - this sanctuary here. I'm afraid you won't last …"

Steeljaw made a soft noise of protest at that. He was so scared of losing Steeljaw that he rambled on in a rapid change of subject, unable to really think about it.

"... I'm afraid I'm betraying the Decepticons and it's a sick feeling. There are mechs I sorta-kinda like, and who liked me. I swore an oath to Megatron, Steeljaw. I've broken that oath."

"He tried to kill you!" Steeljaw's armor clamped flat in a strong emotional response to Frenzy's confession.

"I know. But Soundwave always taught us our word mattered." Frenzy rocked back and forth. "You know, I said that I didn't have friends among the 'cons, and maybe that's true and maybe that's not. I dunno. There's mechs who've saved my life. I've saved theirs. And some of 'em I really liked. Skywarp and I used to pull the best pranks … "

Steeljaw nodded. "You feel like you're betraying them. That's a valid feeling, Sweetspark. In a way, you are, but if you look at the big picture, you are doing the right thing."

"I don't know. I don't know. I think Optimus's way is better. But I'm scared I'm doing the wrong thing by hanging out with Autobots." He shook his head. "Soundwave said not to trust you guys, then he goes and frags Ratchet. I don't know what to think about that. I think he's as confused as I am, and I don't …"

"He what?" Steeljaw's voice hit a high note that Frenzy had never heard from the symbiont before.

"Said not to trust you."

"And he what with who?"

"Fragged Ratchet." Frenzy glanced over at him, meeting that normally steady blue gaze. Steeljaw looked shocked. "Umm, Prime knows. Nobody else. Don't tell anyone."

"I won't. Who would believe me?" Steeljaw laughed. "Wooh. Do you know how many mechs have tried to get inside Ratchet's plating? I'm not sure what's more surprising, that anyone managed to seduce him, or that it was Soundwave."

"Yeah, tell me about it. I love Soundwave, but I don't see what Ratchet sees in him."

Steeljaw lifted his head up and fixed Frenzy with a keen gaze. "Obviously, something."

"I know, but they can't talk." Frenzy wrapped his arms around his legs.

Steelie huffed a sigh out. "I was referring to his personality, Frenzy, and the fact that he's a former 'con. I don't have an issue with your master, but you've got to admit he's a mismatch with Ratchet."

"Oh. That." Frenzy shrugged. "You're right. He is. I don't get it."

"Ratchet's a good mech," Steeljaw said, after a moment. Then he nuzzled Frenzy's shoulder again and said, "It's quiet out here. I like to come out here to be alone - this is the first time I've ever invited anyone along when I needed to get away from the base."

"Oh." He didn't know what to say to that.

"Frenzy, do you think we're moving too fast?" Steeljaw's tone was hesitant. "I don't … I don't want you to feel pressured, or trapped."

Alarm thrilled through him. The last thing he wanted to do with Steeljaw was to move slower. "I'm fine. How do you feel?"

"I don't know."

Frenzy huffed, "I swear to Primus I'd be pushing you to merge with me if - if it wouldn't get you in too slagging much trouble."

Steeljaw froze behind him, suddenly stiff and still. "I've never done that with anyone. Well, except to bond with my family, but that's different."

"Scared about what I'd see, Mouser?" He couldn't quite keep the sarcasm out of his voice. It was defensive. Steeljaw's reaction to his heedless words had alarmed him.

Dryly, Steeljaw observed, "The difference between a symbiont and most spark virgins is experience with the perceptions of others. My bondmates have already made it clear that I'm a good person. If you decide I suck, that'd be your problem."

"So it wouldn't hurt if I hated you?" He shot back.

"It would hurt." Steeljaw's response was completely calm. "Are you afraid you'd disappoint me?"

"Slag you."

"It was an honest question, Sweetspark." Steeljaw sounded almost amused. "Are you?"

"No." He couldn't keep the sullen note out of his voice, and he tried to tell himself it wasn't a lie. Arguing with Steeljaw was nearly impossible, simply because it took two people to fight. Lying to him wasn't easy either, as it turned out.

"Frenzy," Steeljaw's voice was softer, but still steady. "How much do you trust me?"

"A lot ... yes," he admitted, resting his head on his knees.

"Mm." Steeljaw lay back down on his side. "Worrying about that first merge, and our reactions to it, is a valid fear, Sweetspark. Here, lean against me."

Slowly, he reclined again, feeling the hum of Steeljaw's systems. He'd expected to be reassured, and soothed. Instead, Steeljaw had simply validated his fear.

"Optimus told me once that real courage is not a lack of fear, it is the ability to take action despite true fear." Steeljaw smiled faintly. "By those standards, you are incredibly brave, Sweetspark."

"Don't call me that." It was a weak protest.

"Sweetspark."

"Stop!"

"Sweetspark."

He twisted around and tackled Steeljaw. He tried to turn it into a wrestling match, but Steeljaw simply rolled over onto his side and wrapped Frenzy up in a hug. For a moment he resisted, trying to push away, but Steeljaw's steady, calm embrace was seductively inviting.

After a minute, Frenzy relaxed against Steeljaw's plating, shuttered his optics, and resolved to never, ever, let him go.