From Guest (Guest): "First off, a big round of applause to you. You have way more energy then I do to whip these suckers out every week. Second, I fully support the idea of you writing a separate story. You have a good eye for the characters. And finally, the basically obligatory request. I'd just like to know what Pacifica thought of Dipper in the Golf War. She's basically "frienimes" with Mabel, but I'd like to see your take on her thoughts. If you get around to this after The Northwest Mansion Mystery Airs, feel free to make it her thoughts on Dipper after that incident. Have a lovely day!"

Thank you so much! I'm about finished with the basic plot of the story (I literally wrote random things with terrible grammar to keep myself occupied as I wrote each point. It looks ridiculous) so it may be up sooner than I thought? I'm glad you like the idea, though!

As for the request, I can definitely do her thoughts on Dipper in The Golf War! I won't do Northwest Mansion Mystery because I've gotten some I have to do that are somewhat similar so I'll do those instead once I get to them, sorry. But I hope you enjoy this one-shot! It contains references to Irrational Treasure and is set mostly in The Golf War.

You're the Worst

The first time she encountered Mabel Pines, Pacifica Northwest knew this weirdo had to be one of the strangest girls she'd ever met.

The first time she encountered said girl's brother, she was a little surprised at how normal he seemed at first. He wasn't outgoing or obnoxiously cheerful like his twin, and seemed to understand the concept of wearing clothing other than bright silly sweaters in the middle of the summer (seriously, wasn't that girl sweating to death?). It was only once she actually had a conversation with him - even one brief and somewhat one-sided - that she began to honestly dislike the kid.

She had never expected to be flagged down by said boy and had a couple of old paper shoved in her face regarding an apparent conspiracy to hide the fact that Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls...?! It had taken quite a lot of explaining (and scolding) from her parents before she managed to stop acting paranoid about someone discovering this lie.

Once she did, Pacifica found she was furious with Dipper Pines. Who did he think he was, trying to ruin their reputation and shoving the dirt he'd found on their family in her face? Why would he even care? It wasn't as if anyone would listen to him - people thought highly of the Northwest family and they could always find some way to play off this fraud as a joke.

Try as she might, she couldn't get the incident out of her brain however. She didn't want to dwell on it, she truly didn't... But what if this was not the only conspiracy her family had been a part of? What if there were many more? What else was a lie that she had so greedily swallowed in her younger years?

Maybe she was just being ridiculous. There was probably nothing to all of this, and those twins were nothing but trouble.

YOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORST

The second time she saw them together was at the mini golf course with their weird servant and great-uncle. She had been perfectly fine with the idea of never mentioning the incident with her ancestor, and felt a little smug at the sight of her parents grinning at her blatant show of contempt for these people. It made her feel better inside knowing they supported her on this; they had been beginning to argue as of recent times, and she often felt a bit distant from her family. Perhaps this was something they could all make up on.

Pacifica could totally have pretended the cover-up on Nathaniel Northwest was nonexistent except for one little problem: that lame boy decided to try and get her riled up.

"Hey, Pacifica! How's that whole "your family's a fraud" thing working out for you?"

She managed to keep her composure despite the fact that she was internally fuming. Who did this tourist think he was, talking to her like this?

"Great, actually! That's the thing about money! It makes problems go away!"

If the blonde pretended not to notice the look of annoyance in his eyes, no one would be the wiser.

YOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORST

She couldn't contain her anger at how easily this silly girl was beating her. Pacifica had practiced for hours and now all of her work seemed to be disappearing just like that! There was no way that the Pines twins were doing this on their own without some sort of cheat. They had to be cheating! It was the only explanation!

Her mind flashed to the day after this rematch, her parents finding the news in the paper about how Mabel had beaten her and giving her looks of mixed disappointment and disgust. Her stomach lurched and she ordered Sergei to get her a Pitt Cola to try and calm her nerves (of course, the twins didn't have to know the reason why. Their triumphant smiles were already thinning her patience).

No, she had to win. If not for her family name... then for her parents.

Those two were going down.

YOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORSTYOU'RETHEWORST

Honestly, she had no idea what was going on anymore. Little freaky ball people? Being kidnapped and nearly shredded to pieces by that windmill? What else could go wrong tonight? This had just been a simple rematch between her and some girl who needed to be put in her place at the start.

The strangest thing was, right when she had been about to let loose and berate the two for almost getting her killed and cheating, neither of them cowered in fright at her anger. Instead, Mabel merely handed her a silly sticker (which looked fabulous on her and definitely was the only reason why she was wearing it) and sincerely apologized.

Pacifica was shell-shocked for a moment. She had never been sincerely apologized too without someone crying or saying they weren't worthy of her forgiveness (poor people were so needy, yeesh) and the fact that Mabel looked genuinely sorry... it struck something inside her that she wasn't quite sure she liked.

Dipper gave her a half-hearted look of apology, more likely to humor his sister when she raised an eyebrow at him, which helped her snap out of her stunned stupor. At least someone was acting predictably so she could keep her composure.

She didn't pretend to not see the shaking of the boy's head when they got into their old car and Mabel asked the blonde if she needed a ride home. She was still surprised that he was openly defying her family even now when Mabel seemed to be trying to amend things.

She totally only got into that nasty old car because it was going to rain.

Totally.

"Thanks for the ride, or whatever..."

The seed of doubt that had been wriggling into her mind this past month about her family name was returning, thanks to these weird kids. Pacifica wasn't sure how to feel about this now, seeing how they had saved her life when she hadn't exactly been nice to them up until now.

"Oh, and Mabel? Um, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I had fun..."

Maybe they both weren't so bad.

"And tell your servant I like his W-neck!"

This ended up being more about both of the twins, whoops. There wasn't much interaction between Dipper and Pacifica in this episode but I tried. Sorry if she seems out-of-character in the first bit.

Tonight is my last non-busy night before my week of chaos begins (which will last until next Monday, sorry) so I will try my best not to fall asleep on my laptop and finish these requests!

Or... maybe at least three or four. I can't finish over twenty in one night, heh heh...