Tune: The Devil Went Down to Georgia by Charlie Daniels
Well, Velka went down to Lordran
She was lookin' for a soul to burn
She was in a bind 'cause the Flame was dyin'
And Undead began to turn
When she came across one young man
Drinking orange soda and playing Dark Souls
And the goddess jumped out of the computer screen
And said, "Boy, I'll give you a role
I bet you didn't know it
But I'm a seasoned gamer too
And if you're fine riskin' your mind
The hero could be you
Now you play pretty good PVE
But give a goddess her due
And tell me real quick why shouldn't I pick
Others who're better than you"
The boy said, "My name's Alex
And it might be a Sin
But I'll stake my claim on lightin' that Flame
I'm the baddest heir to Gwyn"
Alex you sharpen up your sword
And charge your lightning spears
'Cause Dark's broke loose in Lordran
And the Raven knows your fears
And if you win
This crumbling ancient Kiln burns your soul
But if you lose
The Darkness takes you whole
The goddess fell into the game
And she said, "I'll start this show"
And souls flew from her fingertips
As she conjured up her crows
Then she pulled the boy across the screen
And locked him in a cell
Then the game reset again
And the start we won't retell