AN: Thank you so much for reading, onto the next week of Lisbon's suspension.
Lisbon tied up her hair in a bun and pulled on tracksuit pants to match her tank top. Today was going to be a productive day. She tidied, vacuumed and scrubbed her feelings away, all the while her speakers blasting Bon Jovi.
By the time the day was over, her apartment was probably the most clean and tidy it had ever been - or at least since she moved in. For the first time in almost two months, Lisbon could collapse on her bed at the end of the day and actually sleep the whole night through.
Lisbon had spent the entire second week cleaning, organising and sorting. She cleaned out her wardrobe, donating a few old dresses she never wore to charity. She organised all her work stuff and recycled the equivalent of about one and a half trees. It was a semi-productive week, but she knew that it was all just a channel of her energy, and that once the jobs were all done she would have to face her emotions and sort them out.
Finally, it got to Friday, and she dressed up in her work clothes, tying her hair up in a ponytail. She felt a lot more together than she had in weeks, and she made her way to the CBI without any troubles.
"No, we never even got close to that kind of relationship. Nothing like that," Lisbon replied, no longer shocked at being asked whether or not she and Jane were involved. Lorry seemed somewhat disappointed, but that wasn't surprising either, since many people in the CBI had bets going and maybe, Lisbon figured, Lorry Marshall was one of them.
"But you care about him… a lot?"
"I had, three brothers… I had to look after them growing up and I guess it taught me that everyone needs someone to care about them… and to care for, I guess."
"That's insightful Teresa, but what about looking at it from a different angle. Lets focus on the impact Jane has had on you in leaving. Your mother died when you were twelve. That was in an accident."
"Yes..?"
"But your father, he killed himself. He left you Teresa. Do you think that could have anything to do with your troubles accepting that you were abandoned again by an important man in your life?"
"What, like I have abandonment issues?"
"Well, in a way, yes."
"Look. My dad did us all a favour when he left us. Jane is completely different." She had hoped she would be more rational in this session but it became more and more apparent that she was wrong.
"Jane is an arrogant, selfish man who is so oblivious to anyone who cares about him that he left without even batting an eyelid."
"Okay Teresa I am sensing anger in you, and stop me if I'm wrong, but it seems misguided."
"Huh?"
"I want you to focus on the Jane you cared about. The Jane you still care about."
Lisbon found this statement strange. wasn't her shrink supposed to be helping her get over him?
Lorry continued.
"It is important that we don't allow ourselves to hate the people we care about, simply because that way it's easier to say goodbye."
Lisbon didn't respond, but Lorry must have noticed that she'd succeeded in making Lisbon think about something, because she ended the session.
As Lisbon got ready to go to sleep that night, she thought about what Lorry Marshall had said. I can't hate him just because it makes it easier to say goodbye.
Then what am I supposed to do?
AN: Thanks for reading!