Chapter 9, yay :)

Here, Esme gets her first post-dance jabs at Quasi and Mich gets upset.

In other news, my mum has only just told me that no-one names their girl 'Esme' anymore and it's actually an old lady name. Well she could of told me that before :(

But I think it's a pretty name, so whatever.

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me
Cause I'm still trying to figure it out
Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking
Trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I'm not the only one
Who feels the way I do

I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
Oh, I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world.

'A Place in this World'- Taylor Swift

The atmosphere was tense, electric, almost like the air of calm before the storm, and the crowd of students in the hallway had slowed. They clustered against the walls, forgetting what they were supposed to be doing and instead staring at one end of the hallway and muttering among themselves.

It was Monday, lunchtime, and I had just put my stuff away and was heading out with Dez when all activity stopped, and we stopped too, wondering what was going on. My heart sank as I glanced behind me at the object of everyone's attention and realized the inevitable was about to happen.

Quasimodo limped down the corridor, eyes on the ground, very aware that everyone else's were on him. No, not everyone's... a whisper went around as someone appeared at the other end of the hallway. A someone whose eyes glinted when she saw the pathetic figure shuffling to his locker among the stares of his peers. A someone who fluffed up her hair and stalked through the students gathered, an evil smirk on her face as her entourage followed closely behind, stopping a few meters from the misshapen boy who was trying to ignore her.

This someone, of course, was Esme.

The entire crowd of students gathered- which was growing by the minute- seemed to hold it's breath as she crossed her arms and shook her head at him.

"Quasimodo."

She said it slowly, tasting it, the word both smooth and sharp on her tongue, like a blade. In fact that was a perfect comparison- Esme's tongue could be likened to a dagger, using words to wound and maim as effectively as any blade. I had personally experienced this in times past and knew what it was like to have her attention. But Quasimodo walked up and opened his locker, arranging his stuff as if nothing was the matter, like he wasn't the object of attention of the scariest person in the school. But I knew this was just a pretense.

And so did Esme. She examined her nails and continued airily, her expression belying the sharpness of her words. "You know, I'm surprised you dared to show your ugly face again after what happened at the dance. I would've thought you'd get the hint that we don't want you around here and stay away."

To anyone else, it would've seemed like this jab got no reaction whatsoever from Kaz, but I saw the way his shoulders tensed up and knew it had found a mark. He may have known he was ugly, but everything is always different when someone else says it. A small part of my mind wondered when and why I had allowed myself to study him so closely that I could recognize his reactions, but it was buried in my preoccupation in the current situation and my anger at Esme. As it was, Dez was constantly trying to catch my eye to remind me to stay calm. I knew that she was concerned that I would do something rash, but I doubted she could hold me back if I decided to stop what was happening.

"Are you amazingly brave or just incredibly stupid?" Esme continued, taking a few lazy steps forward. "Do we have to spell it out to you? Personally I though we did that pretty well on Tuesday night, but I suppose someone with a face like that can't be expected to have a very big brain."

There was an appreciative titter from the crowd, and I couldn't stop myself from clenching my teeth and balling my hands into fist, desperately wanting to stop this abuse before it got too far. But I was too late for that. And what I do, anyway, alone in a crowd of many? I would only be laughed at and scorned. At best I would transfer her attention from him to me, and only temporarily. So I kept my silence, feeling Dez's warning touch on my hand and hearing her sensible voice in my head, telling me not to get involved.

Finally deciding he could no longer pretend to be busy in his locker, Quasimodo shut the door and started walking away, clutching his books to his chest tightly, as if they had the power to save him. Esme followed him slowly, the crowd parting for both of them.

"Quasimodo." She said it again, rolling the word around in her mouth. "You know what it means, don't you?"

I did. I winced, my heart going out to Kaz, as I was sure he wanted the floor to swallow him up.

She looked around at everyone. "Do you all want to know?"

"Yes!" cried the crowd.

Oh damn, I thought.

"Half. Formed."

Ohhhh damn.

Kaz stopped in his tracks, whether out of shock or annoyance I couldn't tell. Personally I would've kept walking as fast as I could to get out of there, but he just stood there, letting everyone talk and laugh about the shameful meaning of his name and make fun of him all around him.

Esme leaned forward, making sure everyone could hear. "Unfinished. The Almost-Person. Extremely accurate, isn't it? I wonder who it was that named you so well?"

Kaz seemed rooted to the spot with shame. Although he was turned away from me, I could clearly see that his ears were red with embarrassment and his shoulders were tensed up completely, as if expecting a blow. I was almost shaking with angers, but I could only watch as she approached him and took note of his cowering stance. This was what she lived for- to belittle and intimidate people, to make them feel useless and hated. Unknowingly, he was giving her exactly what she wanted.

"Do you know," she addressed the crowd over his head, "I had to pretend to like him all this time? Ugh!" She rolled her eyes and pulled a face. "Helping him, spending time with him, having to smile at that godawful face everyday. But oh, when I asked him to the dance!" She began to laugh, a loud, obnoxious sound without any mirth. "You should've seen his face! He actually thought I was asking for a date! Can you imagine?"

The students around me began to laugh with her, and she stared down at him, shaking her head. "Did you honestly believe that I was going to date you? That I could possibly fall in love with someone with a face like yours? A face and a body that only a mother could love, if that. And we have to look at you every day!" She looked around with an expression of horror. "How are we going to survive the next year-and-a-half?"

Everyone continued to laugh and jeer, and Esme stood looking at the cowering Quasimodo, a satisfied smile stretching across her face. I was boiling, almost ready to go up there and slap her and defend him, but Dez's hand was on my arm, gently retraining me, reminding me of what would happen if I did anything. As I watched, Quasimodo lifted his eyes from the floor and accidentally caught mine. His expression was pleading, mortified. That was all I needed. I opened my mouth to speak up, tell them all to shut up and leave him alone, yell at them about compassion and humanity and bullying and 'he can't help it'. But as I held his hypnotizing gaze and listened to the laughter and ridicule around me, the words dried up. It was like my tongue suddenly shriveled up in my mouth. I was mute, speechless.

And then I saw Em, in the crowd behind him, staring straight at me. And all of a sudden I realized she was right. I was afraid. I stood there, eyes wide and mouth gaping exactly like a fish, and I knew that she had been right the whole time. I couldn't speak up, I couldn't do anything, because I was too afraid. Her words echoed in my mind: That's the way you are.

That's the way I am. A liar. A hypocrite.

A coward.

Time slowed down as both of them stared at me, Kaz silently asking for help and Em gazing triumphantly at my stricken face. And I couldn't take it anymore. I shook my head in a fearful apology and backed away, tears of shame clouding my vision. Just before I turned away I saw Kaz's face fall as he realised I wasn't going to help him.

And then, I ran.

Let me just say now, I had never cried at school. Not when I was 8 and skinned both knees badly enough to leave scars, not when I was 10 and forgot my lunch and had to starve all day, not when I got sick, not when I was bullied for most of first and second grade. I had always been a tough kid. But that chain was broken that day as I sat in the bathroom stall, curled into a ball on the toilet seat, sobbing my heart out.

Part of me was berating myself being the one crying about this- I wasn't under fire, it had nothing to do with me. If anything Kaz should be the one crying. Oh damn... A picture rose in my head of him in the same position as me in the boys bathroom, tears streaming down his face. That was enough to set me off again.

It wasn't just the pain of seeing someone I'd grown attached to being treated like crap- though that was part of it. I was disgusted with myself for not doing anything about it. After all I had said to my friends, I had been too cowardly to back it up. What kind of pathetic excuse for a human being was I if I couldn't stand up for my friends?

I thought back to the scene. Quasimodo had looked at me like I was some kind of savior. He knew that I was going to do something. And then I dashed his hope to pieces. I was no friend. He probably saw me like I was no better than anyone else, and there was no way I could change his opinion of me now.

And Em... the look she had given me. I knew that if we ever spoke again, she wouldn't tell me I told you so or anything like that, but that look... it was just as bad. I would remember it, and she knew it. She wouldn't bring it up, but I would always think about it.

I sighed shakily and wiped my eyes, trying to get a hold of myself, and lowered my feet to the floor, about to stand up. But the sound of footsteps approaching made me freeze, and I quickly lifted them up again, not wanting to go out be caught with the tell-tale signs of crying. I listened to tell-tale clack of heeled boots stop in front of a mirror, followed by the slip-slap of sandles and a girly giggle.

"Did you see how fast he ran?" asked one of them, voice full of amusement, prompting a laugh from the other girl that I instantly recognized.

"What about his reaction when I told him what his name means?"

"That was hilarious. Where do you come up with that stuff?"

"I researched it. Good, isn't it?"

I peered through the crack in the door to see Esme staring in the mirror, touching up her mascara, while the other girl- I vaguely recognized her from Drama club- was adjusting her hair. And I sighed with relief that I didn't go out there looking like I did. No doubt they would find something to criticize me about, and I would probably have to tell them what I was crying about, and that would be the start of another year of torment... I frowned. What was I doing, worrying about myself, when someone else was suffering at the hands of this very girl?

"You coming to the thing next Friday? Or do I even have to ask?"

"Oh, that..." For once, Esme actually sounded sheepish. "I was going to, but I'm working that night. I might be able to make it later if I'm lucky, though."

"What do you do that makes you work at night? That's messed up!"

"Oh, just a little job at the PRT, nothing special. Pays well, so it's worth it."

A little job. LOL. I had heard rumours about her 'little job' at the Park Ridge Tavern. Nothing truly scandalous, just solo and group entertainment, mostly dancing. Specifically sexy dancing. So yeah, maybe a bit scandalous. That was Esme for you.

"But you'll come?"

"Depends when I finish. I'll try."

"Cool."

They finished primping and left, and I let out a breath and stood up slowly. Making my way out of the stall, I shook my head at myself in the mirror and splashed some water on my face. I looked a mess, but hopefully no-one would notice. As the bell began to ring, I sighed and walked out, ready to go to class.

The days passed in a blur as I tried to avoid everyone. I spent more time than ever in the art-room, not wanting to witness any more scenes between Esme and Kaz. There was no need, now that I knew I was too afraid to do anything about it. Still, I was still forced to watch the insults and laughter that he was assaulted with between classes.

We didn't speak, Kaz and I, unless absolutely necessary. We worked together on our projects and greeted each other at the lockers, but I made sure never to walk too close to him or look at him for too long. He probably hated me anyway, and I just couldn't handle the guilt that would come from staring at all the hurt in those beautiful eyes. Tuesday afternoon, I left him on his bench and didn't try to be friendly. I was too ashamed for that.

We were no longer going to be friends, I could feel it. What I couldn't feel was ok about it.

And neither could I forsee the changes that would come soon, sooner that I would've thought and more surprising than I could've imagined. It happened on Friday night, the night that Esme went to work at the Park Ridge Tavern...

So the next chapter will be based off the book instead of the movie and will be told from someone else's POV. Till then, mind reviewing?