How Eonwe REALLY won the war of Wrath
Melkor laughed as Eonwe's army hammered on his doors. He and Mairon had worked together to build and enchant them, and no mere maia was ever going to be able to overthrow them.
It was then that he saw the little scrap of white fur in the doorway. The little scrap of white fur with red eyes. It entered the hall. Hop. Hop-hop. Sniff. Hop.
"Stop it!" cried Melkor.
Confused, Mairon scrambled to obey, but the little beast jumped between his legs and hopped towards Melkor's throne. Melkor screamed and ran off through a side door.
In the resulting confusion, the orcs left the main doors unattended. Due to poor maintenance over the centuries, the bar broke, and the doors opened wide. The Army of the West streamed through them, overwhelming everything in its path and slaughtering anyone who did not surrender immediately.
Transformed into a bat and hanging from the ceiling, Mairon watched this, squeaked once, and lit out for greener pastures via the open doors.
Eonwe finally caught up with Melkor in one of the deepest caverns, gibbering in terror at the white scrap of fur guarding the cavern's entrance. Cowering, Melkor screamed for mercy. He found none. His enemies knocked his legs out from under him, and bound him with Angainor.
Eonwe leaned down, and stroked the rabbit's head. "Well done," he whispered as he picked it up. It snuggled happily there until he handed it off to one of Ingwion's soldiers.
Perhaps Melkor did find mercy, in the end. There are no rabbits in the void.
A/N1: Yes, it is the terrible bunny rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, by Monty Python. Morgoth obviously didn't have the holy hand grenade handy. Inspiration for this scrap of silliness can be partially blamed on Sevenhot-Feanorians, over on Deviantart, for drawing a chicken defeating Fingolfin. You can find it at .com. The one you want is called 'Tolkien Tuesday Sketch Dump'. I pointed out to the author of it that this suggested a chicken could do serious damage to Morgoth, and the conversation got sillier from then on.
A/N2: For those wondering which story won the contest, the most popular story was definitely Of Inventions and Daddy Issues. However, the one I most want to write is DS al Fine. That means I have decided to try writing both. Plus finish off a fictional article about the decline and fall of the Noldor. Glutton for punishment, aren't I? Things are being written, even if I haven't posted much recently.