Hi guys, sorry for the long wait. I've been out a lot in the holidays and there wasn't much time for writing. Thanks to Leslie the Sorceress for reviewing :)
Reviews really help, people. I know there are some people reading this, and I would really appreciate it if some of you would take a moment and write a few lines to tell me what you thought.
So last time, there was angst, fluff, and confrontations. Now they'll talk a bit about home life and the girls feature for a bit.
Read on!
"So tell me everything," I said, locking the door behind us and pulling out a chair. It was Tuesday morning, and after the events of the previous day I felt that it was finally ok to start asking questions, although I wasn't sure what kind of answers I'd get. Despite our new understanding, Quasi was still a naturally reserved person who wasn't used to baring himself to people, even if 'people' meant just me.
I dumped my bag on the table and watched as he took a seat and opened up his lunch, eyes averted, probably trying to decide how much to tell me, and for a moment I was annoyed. Didn't he know by now that he could trust me? Didn't he know that I only had his best interests at heart? Didn't he- I stopped, feeling foolish. Of course he would still be wary. He had to be. And I had to be patient and wait for him to become comfortable with talking to me.
My request floated in the air between us with the dust-motes and bits of sunlight that filtered through the ratty old blinds in the window, testing boundaries. 'Everything' was an awfully big thing to ask for, and pretty intrusive. It made sense that he would take a while to answer. While I waited for him to gather his thoughts together, I examined him- squashed features, wild red hair, hunch and all- and i decided that whatever happened, whatever fate or destiny or the future had in store for p , I would be there. I would protect this vulnerable, delicate person with everything I had, and I wouldn't let anyone stop me. If something had to be done, then I would do it.
Quasi laid his lunch out on the table and looked at it, still contemplating what I had said. At length, he sighed, laced his large fingers together and raised his emerald eyes to meet my brown ones, temporarily taking my breath away. It took me a moment before I realised that he had spoken.
"Huh?" I asked, feeling stupid.
"What d-do you mean by everything?" he repeated.
"I mean everything- when, why, how long, how have you hidden it all this time?" I paused. "And most importantly,,why didn't you tell anyone? Why can't I tell anyone?"
He sighed again and started nervously picking at his food. "I c-can't remember exactly when it started, b-but it was a long time ago. He was always aggressive, f-from as long as I can remember. And w-when he s-started drinking, he got v-violent. Its always been that way, even w-when-" he swallowed reflexively, "even when she was alive. I d-don't know."
He stopped and put a piece of bread in his mouth, and I took the opportunity to move to the seat next to him. If nothing else I could be there for emotional support.
"He's a policeman," he continued shakily, "s-so he knows w-what will happen if s-someone finds out. But he hides it, and I have t-to t-too or I'll get it w-worse next t-time. I-i'm sorry that I lied, but I had to, you see?"
I put a hand on his shoulder. "Of course I do. I was rude and stupid and never even considered what could be happening, and I'm sorry. Of course you had to lie. But why-"
"B-but why didn't I t-try to get help? Because it wouldn't have worked." He took another bite and looked away.
I frowned and waited until he had finished chewing before asking what he meant. "Surely he'd be taken for questioning or something and then you'd show your bruises and-"
"And he would say it was c-clumsiness and d-deny everything and b-beat me black and blue w-when we got home. It's happened before. Someone at s-school noticed the b-bruises and filed a c-complaint. He c-convinced them it w-was otherwise and b-beat me for b-being c-careless. That's why we k-kept moving. People noticed."
"So it wasn't bullies."
"No. Well, t-there were bullies, b-but that's not w-why we moved. "
I shook my head, a dull feeling settling in my chest. "I didn't think someone like him would care if you were being bullied at school. You know, when I dropped off your homework for you after that disaster of a costume ball, I mentioned it to him and he told me that it served you right for going out against his orders. Like, he didn't even care. I was so mad, you don't even know. I felt like slapping him. I didn't, obviously, but I could've. I still could. In fact," I grinned as I visualized it, "I could march right up to him and slap him silly, then go all Karate Kid on him and knock him flying. I wonder how he'd like to be beat up a bit."
Quasi shook his head, taking me seriously as usual. "Don't. J-just don't do anything. Pretend y-you haven't s-seen anything and f-forget it, OK?"
I sighed and absentmindedly rubbed his shoulder. "You know I can't do that, Kaz. Its not something I'm likely to forget for a long time. But I won't tell if you don't want me to. Just know that I'm here if you need it."
"I know." He glanced at me and nodded. "Thank you."
I smiled and moved back to my own seat, and we continued in silence.
We had just finished eating when there was a knock at the door, and I opened it to see the girls. Bed was jumping up and down excitedly, and I grinned when I saw what was in her hand. "Is that-?"
"Yup!" She held up the pack of cards and shook it around. "Do you have time?"
I grinned and opened the door wider for them to come in. "Hey, Kaz, the girls are here with Cards Against Humanity. Ever played before?" He shook his head. "Well, we're gonna play it. Do you want to play or watch?"
He glanced at the girls shyly and shrugged. "I think I'll w-watch."
Moments later, all of us were squished in together around the table and Dez, who had quickly been elected Card Czar, was dealing out the cards. We had only ever played once before, at a sleepover about a year ago when Bex bought about three extension packs. We were up half the night throwing out all the offensive cards and combining the rest into one pack after playing a round with our parents and they threatened to confiscate them for their less-than-clean humour. So we fixed the game, only for them to go missing for months until just recently when Bex found them and promised to bring them to school. Now the girl were here and so was Quasi, and I was looking forward to a chance for us all to hang out and enjoy something together without judgment.
I organized my cards so Quasi, who was sitting almost behind me, could see them too, as Dez read the rules again and drew a black card. "My country, tis thee, sweet land of..."
We all looked at our cards and already I could hear the giggles starting as Em and Bex chose their answers. I flipped through my cards, unable to hold in a snort at some of them, and selected my answer card.
When everyone had handed in their white card, Dez flipped them over and read them out with the black card, one by one. " My country, tis thee, sweet land of... obesity." We all nodded. It was true. "My country, tis thee, sweet land of... unfathomable stupidity." That was mine. It got a few titters. " My country, tis thee, sweet land of... menstral rage." Bex and I started laughing at that one, and Em choked on her sandwich and had to be beaten on the back for a minute before we could continue. The last one was: " My country, tis thee, sweet land of... aggressive Legolas hair flips."
I high-fived Bex for that one. "Yes! Nerdy cards for-the-win!"
We played a few more rounds, getting progressively louder and wilder as the card combinations got more hilarious.
"In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps to the sound of... Kanye West."
"With enough time and pressure, an ether-soaked rag will turn into some god-damned peace and quiet."
"I got 99 problems, but becoming a blueberry ain't one of them."
"If God didn't want us to enjoy Loki, the trickster god, he wouldn't have given us that ass."
"And the academy award for tasteful side boob goes to Ghandi."
"Why do I hurt all over? Inappropriate yodeling."
"Lifetime presents: Teaching a robot to love; the story of: Stephen Hawking."
After finding a few cards that we missed last time, the combinations got sillier and funnier and more idiotic until we all were all crying with laughter. Our combined sense of humor could honestly find anything funny at this point. A few time during the game I glanced at Quasi to see if he was enjoying himself and was pleasantly surprised to find him laughing along with the rest of us...
And I knew Phoebus was wrong- it was possible for him to look beautiful. I also knew that beauty was a construct based entirely on childhood impressions, influences, and role models (thank you Sherlock), but when his eyes sparkled like emeralds when he laughed and rare joy was reflected all over his strangely-shaped face- and I never would've admitted it, but it was a face that I was becoming increasingly fond of- was there really any word I could use other than beautiful?
It was the kind of beauty that you wanted to keep looking at, and I wanted to stay right there forever and keep him laughing, not let another unhappy thought ever enter his mind again, just so I could see those eyes shine. But, like 'everything', 'forever' was a big thing to ask, and not likely to happen. Eventually, after we had been sidetracked into telling really bad jokes about robots and vegetables and there was about 5 minutes left of lunch, Dez called the happy ending and played the Make A Haiku card.
"A madman who lives in a policebox and kidnaps women, Gay aliens, A time travel paradox," was the winner by the simple fact that it almost exactly described Doctor Who, and we started to pack up. The girls took their rubbish and cards and headed out, thanking Quasi for joining them and waving to him before they left. It looked like they liked him, which was good. It made things easier for me, for sure.
Before lunch was over, though, there was one more thing I wanted to do.
"Hey Kaz," I started as I scrunched up my rubbish and aimed for the bin, "I was just wondering- if you wanted to- before we go- if you would, um..."
"I-If I would what?"
"Sing for me?" He blinked at this unexpected request, and I smiled sheepishly. "Just sing a song before the bell rings? I don't know, its a silly request, you don't have to if you don't want to-"
"OK."
"What?"
He shrugged. "I'll sing if you w-want me to."
I smiled. "Good."
"What d-d you w-want me to sing?"
"What do you know? Another Styx song maybe?"
He thought for a moment, then nodded. "I know one."
I sat back in my chair and waited as he cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and began, softly, to sing.
"Is this the train to Desert Moon
Was all she said
But I knew I'd heard
that stranger's voice before..."
I knew this song! I smiled and closed my eyes, listening to the soft, smooth voice of my friend and wondering where it had been hiding all that time.
"I turned to look into her eyes
But she moved away
She was standing in the rain
Trying hard to speak my name-"
"They say first love never runs dry..." I joined in, adjusting my voice to harmonize with his, and he nodded and continued.
"The waiter poured our memories into tiny cup
We stumbled over words we longed to hear
We talked about the dreams we'd lost, or given up
When a whistle cut the night
And shook silence from our lives
As the last train rolled towards to the dune...
Those summer nights, when we were young
We bragged of things
We'd never done
We were dreamers
Only dreamers
And in our haste
To grow too soon
We left our innocence
On Desert Moon
We were dreamers
Only dreamers...
On Desert Moon..." we finished, and I found myself staring into his eyes as the song ended, marveling at the shades of green that shined inside them. I moved back self-consciously, realizing at the same time that I wasn't the only one. He had been staring as much into my eyes as I had into his. Was that normal? Were you supposed to have such a connection when doing a duet? I wanted to believe that it was because we were focusing on each others vocals, but I honestly wasn't sure. When did I start second-guessing myself so much?
"That was amazing," I said, ignoring my confusing thoughts and instead focusing on the performance that I had joined. "I have to say I'm in love with your voice."
He blushed- actually blushed!- and look down at his hands, which were fidgeting in his lap. "Th-thanks. You w-weren't bad yourself."
I tried not to smile too wide when I thanked him, but really I was thrilled with the praise. This was a new development in social interaction on Quasi's part, and he was hardly used to compliments himself yet. Giving compliments, however slight, was good progress. Not to mention flattering. I never actually thought I had a good voice, but I had to say, singing with another person wasn't too bad. "Its all your fault," I commented jokingly. "You sounded so good that I had to work hard to match it."
"We s-sing w-well together, d-don't we?" he answered, glancing up from his hands to meet my eyes. And suddenly I had a feeling that there was a meaning behind his words that hadn't been there before. And I felt extremely nervous about that.
Before my mind could start to speculate about the meaning behind his words or my own nervousness, the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch and breaking the silence between us. I jumped up and grabbed my bag, eager to leave and forget this awkwardness, and waited for him by the door. When he was out, I locked it behind us and crouched down to untie and retie my shoelaces, giving him a head start. For some reason I didn't want to walk back with him this time, so I told him to go on and tried to focus on my laces, which were suddenly very difficult to tie. I felt strange, like there was something I was supposed to remember but my brain didn't want to. My stomach and heart felt link one big knot and my fingers were fidgety, unable to tie the laces on the first go. It took me a few tries before I could stand up again, and by then, Quasi was gone.
Conflicted and confused, I hoisted my bag on my shoulder and headed to my next class, wondering what on earth was wrong with me.
Short chapter this time. I wanted to put what happens next into its own chapter, so this is a big as it gets for now. But the next chapter should be up soon (I know I say that a lot but it's true this time).
I feel like the story is becoming very cliche-y, what with the 'not knowing how i feel' thing. It's just that I want to take a long time for things to develop, cuz I hate the 'love at first sight' that most movies portray. I don't know. What do you think? How much longer do you think I can draw it out?
Review and tell me what think :)
