DARKROOT BASIN
"Heeeeeere Manusmanusmanusmanusmanusmanus!"
Lex walked along the lowest part of Darkroot Basin, where Dusk had been imprisoned and died. He neared the end of the tunnel and approached a whirling pool of purple energy, throbbing like a heartbeat.
"I don't really want to touch that," he said, sighing.
The cleric extended one hand slowly, leaning away from it as he did. Abruptly, a massive, bloated hand surged out of the pool. It was studded with crooked, decaying teeth, and a churning, fanged maw hissed in the center of the palm.
"Oh gods, I'm going to be ill."
It grabbed him and pulled him into the vortex while his own hand went to his mouth to ward against vomiting.
SANCTUARY GARDEN
The hand pulled him through an immeasurable darkness but reflexively let go when he sprayed bits of ramen and orange soda over the back of it. Lex hit the ground hard, finding himself in a shallow cavern, the roots of a massive tree crawling down from a hole in the roof above.
"Well, that doesn't bode well," he groaned as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
He shook his head and extended one hand to the fire. There, he paused.
"Is there any particular reason why only some bonfires are warpable? Like, there was the original list, then they patched it to include more. Is there any reason why I can't just warp wherever I want? Like, you'd think that Quelaav's fire would be blocked or something."
He shrugged and focused on the Basin bonfire. The flame before him sputtered and smoked, and the ground cracked. Smoke enveloped him as night and day blurred, and seasons flew by. At last, he found himself in the dark hole in the wall where he'd left Oscar and Solaire.
DARKROOT BASIN
"How did it go?" Oscar yawned, stretching.
"I need to have Sen invent cars. And then figure out how to put a bonfire in one. In any case, you're going to see some serious shit."
"Sure."
"Well, grab on," Lex sighed, extending his hand.
Solaire and Oscar linked hands, and Lex abruptly remembered he hadn't bothered to check whether the bonfire had cleaned the vomit off. He whistled and quickly flung them into the past.
SANCTUARY GARDEN
"So this is the past," Oscar said flatly. "At least it has better lighting."
"Don't be like that, Oscar!" Solaire teased. "Imagine, seeing Lordran while it was still full of life!"
"Well, actually…" Lex mumbled.
"What is it?"
"Yeah, pretty much everything that moves is going to try to kill us from this point on. That said, welcome to Oolacile, guys. Though we were technically already in Oolacile."
"Well, that's a shame," Solaire sighed, still having trouble keeping his spirits up after Anor Londo.
"Right, well, no need to dwell on it. We've got a manticore to kill, and then we'll be able to meet the only survivor still in town. Princess Dusk made it too, but she's recently been kidnapped."
Solaire nodded, perking up a bit.
"If that is the case, then we have no time to lose!"
"So, general strategy here is to stick to its wings. Directly in front or behind is dangerous. Best window for attacks is following a dustup or a four-hit combo. Try to dodge instead of blocking if possible. The water will slow you down and conduct its electric attacks, so let's try to keep it on the shore."
"Understood."
"Traveling with a prophet is quite convenient, isn't it?"
Solaire chuckled a little, and they headed up the slope. Lex pushed through the fog gate. Beyond was a circular depression. There was a narrow and steep shore leading to a shallow pond filled with fallen trees and dead leaves. In the middle was a massive, horned white lion with four wings and a scorpion tail.
It roared with such force as to send water spraying before it pounced forward, stomping through the pond without slowing. Lex raised his talisman and began chanting as Oscar and Solaire entered on either side of him.
"Let me hear you scream!" the cleric roared back at the beast, his armor unleashing a blastwave that caused it to stumble backward as it reached them.
The knights ran around either side of it and hacked away while Lex grabbed one of the manticore's horns and swung himself onto its back. As it shook off the shock, it began to buck and try to throw him off. It swung its head low at Solaire, who blocked the attack with his shield. The beast roared and ran off into the pond, shaking violently to try and unseat its passenger. The cleric stayed on easily, arms hanging over either of the manticore's giant curling horns.
"Nice try! I've won so many prizes from mechanical bulls!"
It growled and stuck him in the back with its tail.
"Not fair, you jerk! Ugh! One of you guys try to cut that off!"
He moaned as the poison set in, but the wound itself wasn't bad, thanks to the strength of his armor. As the knights waded toward it, the manticore shattered the water with its wings and took to the air. It spat orbs of electricity as it flew. Solaire raised his shield and simply endured the shock as the water was electrified, but Oscar rolled clear of the arcing bolts. Lex gripped his talisman tightly.
"Well, here goes."
Ich möchte stärker werden
weil unsere Welt sehr grausam ist
Es ist ratsam, welke blumen zu entfernen
He shortened his grip on the horns so he could press the worn cloth to his heart. The ratty old canvas and twine of a common cleric had been set aside. Instead, he held a gold-hemmed black talisman made from the remains of Quelaag's ruined robes and tied with a lock of her hair. It burned hot as Lex tried to force a miracle derived from pyromancy.
Ja, ich bin viel stärker, als ich je gedacht hab
Fliege höher
Laufe viel schneller
Vergiss die wahrheit nicht
Ja, ich bin viel stärker, als ich je gedacht hab
Ich entferne welke blumen
Wieso siehst du so traurig aus
Prismatic light shone out of his body, and his armor pounded like drums. The lion's face on his left shoulder twitched, then came to life, roaring as loudly as the real thing below. The brass and steel twitched and pulsed as they synchronized with the cleric's heartbeat.
Was willst du von mir
Ich mag wollen oder nicht, ich muss den feind verfolgen
Ich bin nicht frei von dieser welt
Was willst du von mir
Ich mag wollen oder nicht, ich muss den feind verfolgen
Ich bin nicht frei von dieser welt
Echoes of the Witch-Lord's Life Soul flowed out of the fragment of Quelana's soul in him, and his armor answered the call. It constricted about him, digging into his flesh and feeding off of his vitality. It warped and twisted into a gnarled mass of spikes and teeth as did all things touched by Chaos.
Egal wie hart du auch bist
Fliege höher
Laufe viel schneller!
Du bist sehr stark
Du bindest einen Blumenkranz
Wieso siehst du so traurig aus
Lex screamed as he jerked the manticore's head forward with the strength of ten men – or at least Siegmeyer. The beast yelped and lost control, splashing down into the pond and throwing the cleric away. Oscar had no idea what just happened, but he took a quick swig of Estus just in case while Solaire moved in front to keep the beast from their downed ally. The manticore rose, furious, and charged the Warrior of Sunlight. Solaire blocked the hit but was knocked back into the water.
As the monster lunged, Oscar rushed its flank, his demon-slaying sword hacking deep into its leg. It roared in agony and turned around with a quick flap of its wings. Solaire hopped up to grapple its tail, yanking it away from the body while Lex drew his sword. The weapon contorted like his armor, and Chaos thorns grew up from its handle as he gripped it with both hands. With a lightning-quick motion, he brought it down and severed the tail in one blow.
As it roared in pain, Solaire dug his much more ordinary sword into the wound Oscar had made. There was a shredding sound, and the manticore collapsed on its ruined leg. Lex hacked away at the other rear leg, and Oscar exchanged one sword for another. The elite knight held Prince Ricard's rapier in the light and then lunged forward. Three strikes, then four more, then a final thrust with all his strength.
The manticore's face was torn to shreds as the flashing blade probed for weakness. When the final strike came, it struck right between the eyes, piercing through the skull with the sudden impact. Oscar withdrew the blade and flicked the gray matter off as the beast erupted into souls.
"Woo!" Lex shouted as the light streaming from him faded and his armor stopped moving.
He looked down at himself. The equipment wasn't changing back.
"Well, crap. I look like a… well, a Chaos Marine. But with peripheral vision."
"A what?" Oscar asked, wading toward the other two.
"A type of warrior pledged to the pantheon of which Slaanesh is a part. As you can see, they tend to look generically evil. But normally, they have giant pauldrons they can't see over. Not related to Izalith's Chaos, except for a love of mutating things to have spikes. And demons. So I guess they are kind of related, maybe."
He shrugged and started stuffing the manticore's severed tail into his bag. Left of the entrance was another hill rising out of the pond, this one leading to a demigod-sized archway. The two knights went on ahead, with the cleric sprinting to catch up when he was done. The tunnel beyond was mossy stone, and roots broke through the ceiling in places. At the end was a staircase leading out into a round courtyard.
OOLACILE SANCTUARY
In a pit directly ahead was a bonfire. As they walked toward it, they passed rows of humanoid stone markers in a semicircle around it. They all had inscriptions on their front, but they had worn with time, and many were overgrown with moss or broken. The knights approached the bonfire, but Lex pointed past it and a little to the left. Growing out of the wall encircling most of the Sanctuary was a massive toadstool with bulging white eyes.
The knights looked at one another and approached cautiously, but Lex walked past them without pause. Strangely, the fungus spoke, despite having no obvious means of doing so, sounding much like a caring grandmother.
"Well, look at this. From what faraway age have you come? Your scents are very human, indeed… but not intolerable…"
She focused on Lex.
"Ah, one of Princess Dusk's saviors. Thine aura is precisely as she described. I thank thee deeply for rescuing Her Highness. But Princess Dusk is here no longer… snatched away by that horrifying primeval human."
Her voice grew a little hoarse.
"And so I must ask… Couldst thou once more play the savior?"
"The funny thing is that the nature of time travel means I already have."
The mushroom chuckled faintly.
"I suppose it doth mean so. Thank you. I am Elizabeth, guardian of this Sanctuary. Something of a godmother to Princess Dusk. I will assist thee to my utmost, for I am one with the sorceries of Oolacile."
"Thanks! We've kind of misplaced our sorcerer, but if we ever find her again, we'll send her your way."
Lex gave two thumbs up and turned to face the others.
"You seem to be doing better," Oscar said sarcastically. "I'll have to ask you how it works when we have some free time."
"How what works?"
"Your… time alone."
The cleric snorted and then looked very serious.
"I have no idea either. I have to get her the humanity first."
"What are you two talking about?" Solaire asked jollily. "Let me in on the big secret."
"That's right, Captain!" Oscar said, taking his helmet off. "You weren't with us at Sen's Fortress."
Solaire removed his helmet as well, and the trio moved to sit down at the bonfire.
"Hold on a minute, Oscar," Lex said raising a warning finger. "Let me try something first."
He raised his hand to his ear and flipped out his thumb and pinky as usual.
"Heeeey Quelaag."
"You had best be in the midst of collecting humanity, my betrothed."
"Um. Kind of working on it. It'll be a while to get down there, and there's a thing I have to do first."
"Wait!" Oscar interrupted. "How are you speaking with your Quelaag instead of the Quelaag of this time?"
Lex looked up, eyes wide. He glanced about awkwardly.
"Uh, Quelaag? Oscar asked a really good question. How am I talking to you and not past-you?"
"These rings are bound to one another through the Flame. Their power is born of will. You will to speak with me, and so you do."
"Should I say hello to old you or would that cause a paradox?"
"Don't do anything foolish!"
"You know, I wonder if I can use this for telepathic sexti-"
He abruptly remembered that he was not alone.
"-I mean, uh, visual forms of communication."
"That is possible. It was used by our scouts to ensure their commanders received accurate information."
"Neat. So if you know all these other things, do you know what's up with bonfire warping? Like, I could warp when I physically had the Lordvessel, and so could other people, but now I don't physically have the Lordvessel, and I'm warping anyway."
"I do not know what this 'Lordvessel' is, but it is possible that it has changed the bonfires in some way. I am not fully aware of their abilities, and such arts were more to Quelana's taste. I was desperate when I joined Quelaav to that fire. I doubt I could do so again. Yet…"
Abruptly, a frail voice cut in.
"Brother Prophet, is that you?" Quelaav said suddenly.
"Uh, yes."
The bonfire began to gurgle and spit, and its color grew deep red. The trio quickly jumped back, and Lex let go of his ear to grab his talisman. The knights readied their shields while the cleric tensed, ready to dodge. The ground about the fire cracked, and the bowl filled with lava. A black-nailed hand burst out of the lava and clawed at the stone steps.
A clenched fist holding a sword followed, and with a great deal of effort, Quelaag dragged herself out from under the bonfire. She shook the last bits of molten stone out of her hair and grinned wickedly.
"So they do operate on the same principle…"
"A demon! In the Sanctuary!" Elizabeth cried, only able to look on in horror.
"Nah, it's fine. It's just my fiancee. Solaire, Elizabeth, meet Quelaag. Quelaag, Solaire and Elizabeth."
Solaire took a sweeping bow.
"I am Solaire of Astora, an adherent of the Lord of Sunlight. Your husband-to-be has been a stalwart companion on this pilgrimage. It is a pleasure to meet you."
"Ah, yes," Quelaag said blankly, stunned by his utter lack of hesitation. "I am Quelaag, second princess and marshal of Izalith."
The mushroom woman quivered, but she kept her voice firm.
"I am Elizabeth, of Oolacile. It is likewise a pleasure, Your Grace."
Quelaag nodded and looked about the Sanctuary. Satisfied, she glanced down at Lex.
"Well, this expedition was entertaining, but I must be getting back. I will see you not before you have collected the promised dowry."
"Wait! Wait. Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait. Wait," Lex said all at once. "Do you have any obvious limitations on your humanity-draining ability?"
She quirked an eyebrow.
"I've not had much opportunity to use it on creatures other than humans. Why do you ask?"
"Do you think you could use it on a demigod that's been corrupted by the Abyss?"
She rolled her eyes and snorted.
"As if I would bother."
"Aww," the cleric sighed. "Artorias seemed like a pretty cool dude."
She turned back and grabbed him by the chin, turning his head up to meet her gaze.
"Did you say Artorias?"
She laughed. She didn't restrain herself as she had on other occasions but threw her head back and gave a high, mocking laugh.
"Oh, I would relish the chance to tell him he lost our wager!"
Oscar's eyes were wide with childlike wonder.
"You knew Artorias the Abysswalker? We're going to meet Artorias the Abysswalker?"
"Knew him? Ha! We've bickered since the time of dragons! I can't wait to see the look on his face now that his so-vaunted defense is broken!"
"Well, the look on his face is kind of a spooky shroud of darkness right now, what with the whole corruption thing."
"My dear betrothed, what a lovely present you've given me. What, precisely, do you wish me to do? I take it that meathead won't remain idle while I suck the Dark from his soul."
"Oscar, Solaire, get ready for the most difficult nonlethal fight of your lives!"
Oscar narrowed his eyes and grumbled.
"After you said the Knight of Thorns would be easy, I guess I should expect several deaths."
"Hey, I was right about Jeremiah."
"You know what they say about broken clocks."
Lex sighed, and Solaire pat him on the back.
"It will be fine, Oscar! We've all grown since our time in the sewers! Just remember to keep your defense up, and you can handle anything that comes your way!"
Quelaag snorted.
"That was actually the matter of our wager. He always insisted on an adamant defense. My position was that if you actually kill your foe, there was no need. We were always looking for ways to prove our respective points. I would say that be overwhelmed like so gives me a definitive win."
"That's hardly fair," Solaire huffed. "Sacrifice is sometimes necessary. Who's to say what he might have protected with the time he gained?"
The witch smiled sarcastically.
"Oh, this again? We'll have to ask the man himself, I suppose. Dearest, if you would hurry up…"
Lex rose and pursed his lips, shrugging so hard that his pauldrons rose over his head. He led the group under an arch and into a shallow canyon lined by thin white trees. At the end of the crevasse was a much more impressive canyon, through which a wide river flowed a great distance below. The bridge spanning the void would have been exceedingly narrow for a demigod (or whatever Quelaag had been), but with her spider body, fitting was impossible. Instead, she followed behind the group, sinking her legs into the outer sides of it and leaving deep pits in the stone.
ROYAL WOOD
The bridge led to a bluff, and there were paths leading in either direction. Lex stopped briefly to scratch his chin before deciding to head right. A pair of animate scarecrows carrying a number of gardening tools rushed toward him with pitchforks. As they drew near, he smashed them into the hillside with his sword, splitting their thin wooden bodies. He stopped again.
"Right, so we're going to be lazy and go over the cliffside because there's no reason to even go through the rest of the area. Really, I usually just run through it, which is a waste of time. So anyway, we're going to run blindly ahead until we reach the cliff, at which point, you'll need to give us a way down, Quelaag. Sound good?"
"What is it with you Undead and high places?" the witch sighed. "Very well."
The others nodded, so Lex climbed the hill and sprinted through the young forest. Midway through, another wooden gardener began to approach him, as did a stone golem wielding a massive slab of stone crudely fashioned into an axe. Oscar and Solaire quickly split away and moved on either side of them, causing the constructs to turn one way and the other indecisively. Quelaag, however, was having difficulty passing through the dense trees and was soon left behind. She snarled, and the spider opened its mouth, vomiting lava across the golems before their could reach her.
The trees in front of her likewise caught fire, and she cleared herself a path through the Wood by force, knocking over burning timber and hacking away offending branches with her sword. She left a trail of destruction in her wake, and soon all the automata in the Wood were rushing toward her to prevent the whole plateau from catching fire. Fortunately for history, she left them to their work and continued toward her destination. Lex gave her a look of utter disbelief, unable to find words.
"I am innocent," she said sarcastically, putting both hands to her heart. "'twas they who attacked me. My hands are as clean as the forest floor will soon be."
The cleric just sighed and let her begin spinning a rope ladder.