.

I don't own The Mentalist. No copyright infringement is intended. No moolah made. Etc, etc, etc.

AN: First, thanks so very much to all the reviewers who have been kind enough to leave comments. You make my day brighter, and keep me writing. I was going to pair this episode with the next one, but this one went longer than I figured, and the next one will be longer and darker, so I decided to put this single episode up by itself. It's pretty light and fluffy. I hope you enjoy.

8.07 Little Green Man

During a SETI convention in Austin, the family of one of the top scientific speakers disappears. Wylie asks a young astrophysicist from the convention out on a date.

.

.

INT. FBI BULLPEN – DAY

Cho walks purposefully into the bullpen. Lisbon, Wylie, Ramos and Branch look up from their desks.

CHO: We've got one.

Just then, the elevator doors swish open and in walks Jane, holding his 4 month old son with one arm and carrying a diaper bag with the other. The team's attention switches from Cho to Jane.

JANE: Hey, folks.

Jane takes the baby's hand and waves it, making him chortle. Wylie waves back, but then realizes Cho is glaring at him and sheepishly drops his hand to his lap.

WYLIE: Sorry.

Cho sighs.

LISBON: Oh, I'm sorry Jane, we've just caught a case. Can't make it for lunch. Cho was just briefing us.

JANE: Ah. Oh well. (to baby) We'll just have to go by ourselves, won't we, little man?

CHO: Hi, Jane. (turns back to business) You all are aware that there's a SETI convention going on downtown, right?

Nods all around.

CHO: (CONT'D) The keynote speaker's family is missing as of this morning. Guy's name is Dr. Ira Godfrey. He left his wife Judy and their two kids in their Westin Hotel room this morning to go to a 9 am meeting. Nobody's seen them since. Kids are a 10 year old girl and an 8 year old boy. Cell phones left in the room. So was the wife's purse. Nothing missing but the three people.

Jane cannot keep an amused smile off of his face.

CHO: (CONT'D) No sign of struggle. No ransom request as of yet. No word of any kind. They just…disappeared.

JANE: I need in on this one.

LISBON: Nope, you can't. We promised Wendy a long weekend, remember?

JANE: Damnit. The one case I actually want to work.

CHO: Lisbon, you and Wylie go interview Dr. Godfrey. Branch, Ramos, you two get started with the hotel security footage.

JANE: Wait! I know who took them!

All eyes turn to Jane.

JANE: (CONT'D) A little green man, of course.

He smiles his most blinding, pleased with himself smile. The baby giggles. Cho rolls his eyes and they all get up to go to work.

JANE: (CONT'D) We'll just come with.

LISBON: You are not bringing our child to a crime scene.

Jane's eyes drop like a dejected puppy.

LISBON: I'll call you later. I may be late.

.

.

INT. WESTIN HOTEL – DAY

Lisbon and Wylie exit a hotel room and walk together down the hall.

LISBON: Well, that wasn't very helpful.

WYLIE: True. Nothing missing from the room. Godfrey was too upset to get much out of him.

LISBON: We'll talk to him again a little later, when he's had time to calm down. Let's split up and talk to some of the other speakers at the conference.

Wylie pulls out two programs. Gives one to Lisbon.

WYLIE: I'll start at the bottom, you start at the top?

.

.

INT. HOTEL CONFERENCE AREA LOBBY – DAY

Wylie, list in hand, goes to look at a poster on an easel in front of a conference room. It reads:

Dr. Olivia Watson

Assistant Professor of Astrophysics

University of Texas – Austin

"Improving Computer Models for Inferring Planet Occurrence Rates: An Update"

3:00 pm – 3: 50 pm, Orchid Room

Wylie looks at his watch. It's 2:45.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

Wylie walks into the conference room full of empty chairs. A woman of about 25 is shuffling papers and checking things at the podium. She is a small brunette, not delicate or glamorous, but very pretty in a "girl next door" kind of way.

Wylie can't take his eyes off of her. He takes a deep breath, straightens his tie, and approaches the podium.

WYLIE: Hello. Ma'am. I'm Agent Jason Wylie with the FBI. (flashes badge)

DR. WATSON: (looks up) Hello.

WYLIE: We're investigating the disappearance of Dr. Godfrey's family.

DR. WATSON: Oh, yes. I've just heard about that. It's terrible.

WYLIE: I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions? You know Dr. Godfrey, right?

DR. WATSON: Yes, I know him. He's the chief of my department. (looks a bit flustered) But I'm about to give this…

People are starting to filter in and take seats.

WYLIE: Uh, sure. After your presentation I can come back…

DR. WATSON: That would be wonderful, if you can. I mean I want them to be found as soon as possible, of course, and if it's important I can do it now.

WYLIE: No problem, I'll just do other interviews first. I have a long list.

DR. WATSON: (with a warm smile) Thank you. Agent Wylie, I will see you after my talk.

He nods. Instead of leaving, Wylie walks to the back of the room and melts discreetly into a chair in the back row.

.

.

INT. WESTIN LOBBY – DAY

Lisbon is talking to a short, bearded older man in a suit.

LISBON: Thank you for your time, Dr. Hunter, you've been very helpful.

As she turns away from him, she glimpses a blond man with a baby over near the fountain. When she does a double take, she can't find him.

Lisbon wanders through the lobby and as she gets close to the fountain, she sees Jane crouched, holding the baby so he can dip his fingers into the pool of the fountain. Because he is absorbed playing with the child, she is able to sneak up behind him.

LISBON: (pissed) What in the world are you doing here, Jane?

He turns. He's busted.

JANE: We're uh…we're checking out the fountain.

The baby smacks the water with his hand and laughs.

LISBON: (with venom) I cannot believe you brought our child to a crime scene.

JANE: (motioning around) It's not a crime scene, Lisbon, it's a hotel lobby with a fountain.

The baby picks up on the tension and starts to fuss.

LISBON: (realizes why he is upset) Oh, I'm sorry sweetie.

JANE: (stands up with baby) Mommy's not mad at you, punkin.

He bounces the baby, who reaches out for Lisbon.

LISBON: Come here, sweetie. Mommy's not mad at you. (glares at Jane, but continues in a sing song voice) She's just going to kill your boneheaded daddy.

JANE: (careful to keep his voice light) I'm very suspicious of that guy you just interviewed, m'dear.

LISBON: (frowns) You were watching me?

JANE: Well. (widens his eyes) Yes. (unperturbed) He's certainly hiding something. And he's very short. No taller than you, is he?

Lisbon tilts her head, conceding his points.

LISBON: It isn't often I can look a man in the eye while I'm standing up. And he was hiding something, wasn't he?

She makes a silly face at the baby and he chortles. She can't help but smile.

JANE: And did you check out Wylie?

LISBON: He's off interviewing other professors.

Jane subtly motions across the room with his head. Lisbon looks, and sees Wylie talking to a cute brunette – Dr. Watson. Wylie motions to a table in the large open bar area of the hotel, and they sit. She smiles. He smiles. She laughs. He laughs. They talk, animated.

LISBON: He's supposed to be working.

JANE: Oh come now. How many times has Wylie spent personal time working on a case? Besides, this is big.

LISBON: I suppose you're right. Wait, what's big?

JANE: Losing Vega was difficult for him. He needs some romance in his life. And he is positively smitten.

LISBON: (skeptical) You can tell that from here?

JANE: Without a doubt. (smiles confidently) Can't you? And so is she, I might add.

LISBON: (peering more closely) Yeah. I think you're right.

She snaps back to the matter at hand, and holds the baby out for Jane to take.

LISBON: Okay, you've had your fun, now take our son home.

JANE: Okay, okay. (takes the baby) We were done with the fountain anyway, weren't we, big guy? Say bye bye to mommy.

He waves at Lisbon, and helps the child do the same. The little boy makes a slobbery bubble of a smile. Lisbon waves back, melting, and gives Jane a kiss on the cheek.

LISBON: Now scram.

JANE: Here we go!

They disappear into the crowd.

.

.

INT. FBI HQ – DAY

Lisbon, Cho, Wylie, Ramos and Branch are crowded into the break room, as Cho sits two pizza boxes on the counter. Jane pops his head into the doorway. He does not have their son.

JANE: There you are!

CHO: Hey Jane. C'mon in. Have some pizza.

RAMOS: Where's the munchkin?

JANE: Sitter. Lisbon and I are going on a hot lunch date.

BRANCH: Oooh, where's the hotel key?

LISBON: (blushing) We're going to check out that new Thai place down off of Congress.

RAMOS: That looks good. Let me know how it is, will ya?

CHO: Take as long as you want. Nothing's happening here this afternoon, and you cracked the case.

Jane looks pleased, says nothing.

RAMOS: I still can't believe a college professor would hire somebody to kidnap another professor's family just so he could give the main talk at a conference himself.

WYLIE: I dunno. Oliv…uh…Dr. Watson says academia is a (says the quote carefully) "vicious den of cut throats."

Jane gives Wylie a knowing glance. Wylie looks a little uncomfortable.

JANE: Well, I do have to point out that I solved the case in the first five minutes.

CHO: How's that?

JANE: Hunter couldn't have been over five feet tall, and he was insanely jealous of Godfrey's position. (shrugs) The little green man did it.

The group erupts in a flurry of boos and hisses. Ramos throws a wadded up napkin at Jane.

Jane grins his brightest grin and puts out his left arm for Lisbon to take. She puts her right arm in the crook of his elbow and they head out of the break room. As they walk away, unseen by Lisbon, Jane pulls a hotel keycard out of his pocket and holds it behind his back with two fingers of his right hand, so the team can see it.

They guffaw, and Lisbon turns back around to see why. Jane deftly slips the keycard into his pocket without her seeing it. She frowns and turns back forward, and the couple disappears into the elevator as the smiling team falls onto the pizzas.

FADE OUT