"Abracadabra!" he yelled, and with a bang plumes of bright green smoke emerged from his wand and engulfed him quickly.
"Out, out!" He gasped and regained his bearings, and quickly cast a charm to open the windows.
"Godric Gryffindor," he heard from behind him somewhere, "What on earth are you doing?" He could make out the shape of a woman with hands on her hips through the green haze, and he resigned him to a scolding.
"It's really not as bad as it looks, Helga," he began before he was cut off.
"Not as bad as it looks? Who cleans these rooms, Godric? Certainly not you. If you don't want the staff to throw a fit you'll make sure none of this… this GREEN absorbs into the carpet or stones. Can you imagine, all the work we went to building these homes and you turn your room green?" She huffed and began using her wand to channel air through the doorway she had entered through.
"Well," said Godric with faked confidence, "Soon we'll have a castle and won't need these homes at all."
"Soon!" She snorted and he could see that she was wearing her trademark yellow gown, which thankfully hadn't been marred by the green smoke. "Soon, he says. Follow me, he says. Five years, he says. Two more years. Just a few more years. Eleven years!"
Godric knew this speech by heart. He knew shortly she would complain about how elderly she was (a whopping 34) and then it would degenerate into what her parents would think if they could see her now, and maybe she should just return home, and he really didn't want to have caused any emotional breakdowns today so he knew he had to change the subject fast.
"Do you want to help me destroy this ugly hat?" He asked politely.
Helga stopped gesticulating at her hair (something about going grey) and said, surprised, "Pardon?"
Now that the air was mostly clear, Godric could again see the monstrosity sitting on the floor where he had left it.
"Well, Moren gave it to me, and that bloke… well I didn't want to hurt his feelings, and he keeps asking why I'm not wearing it, but really doesn't it look more like a witch's hat than a wizard's? It's just abysmal. I have been experimenting with a spell that causes nothing but destruction and I think it will go something like ABRACADABRA so I thought, if it were to be destroyed accidentally, then all problems solved right? Right, Helga?" He waited for her response as she pursed her lips and tilted her head and frowned at the dingy hat in the center of the room.
"Well," she began, which Godric deemed a distraction well done, "Could you just change how it looks? And then wear it? No, you would still hurt Moren's feelings. And nothing but complete destruction would do, or he would just fix it for you, darn handy with clothing spells he is." She brightened up, and looked back up at him. "I have an idea!"
There was something about the way she said it that made Godric a little wary.
"Exactly what sort of idea is this, Helga? Not like the 'Build underneath the lake idea' or 'We better befriend the centaurs idea'?" Helga, he mused, though a brilliant witch, was not known for her brilliant ideas.
"Yes, you'll love it!" She said, ignoring his questions about her past ideas. "Godric, what could possibly entice you to wear such an ugly hat?" She bounced a little on her toes, and a smile lit up her face. Her blue eyes were wide with anticipation and Godric had to admit that she looked quite pretty with her blonde-brown hair in disarray as it was. He cracked a smile at her enthusiasm and pondered her question.
"Besides changing how it looked? I supposed it would have to be pretty important. Useful, you know. Like if I could use it in battle or, if I were wearing in day-to-day, in my regular activities. I suppose it would have to be a hat with a purpose, if you know what I mean."
"Perfect!" Helga glowed with happiness that she had solved the riddle of the hat. "Then make it useful! Make it carry your books or sword or whatever you like, or make it recite healing spells for you to use during battle, or tell you what day it is! It could be The Useful Hat!"
She gushed, continuing, "Moren will be so happy!"
Godric rolled his eyes at the name of the Fabrics wizard who had given him the hat and put him in this quandary, but reluctantly acknowledged the merit of the idea.
"It would be nice not to have to carry the weight of my sword around." He thought outloud.
"Oh this is just wonderful!" continued Helga. "I'll go find Rowena and Salazar and we'll all four get started on it right away! They wouldn't want to miss this!" She grinned and went running back out the way she had come, leaving Godric standing alone save his soon-to-be Useful Hat.