Chapter 17: From the Ashes
"God, it's hot, ain't it?" Seth mumbled, pausing and leaning on his shovel, wiping the sweat and soot from his face.
"Hotter than Hell's fireplace, lad," Patrick responded and heaved another shovel of dirt toward the fire.
It had not dwindled, but it hadn't grown either, so on they fought, daring to believe they might eventually win.
"Look at that," Patrick muttered, nodding his head over the flames.
Seth followed his stare and whistled through his teeth. The windmill, outside the protective circle of ditches, had caught fire and was now a blazing skeleton. It was eerie to see the fire reaching for the sky, "Damn near seems like it's winning don't it?"
"Well, it hasn't got me yet, lad. Till then, I'd say we're doing our job."
"Hey boys," Jamie murmured, appearing at their sides with his shovel. He glanced up at the sky, "Wish the rain would help us out."
"How's the lass?" Patrick wondered, "Will she be alright?"
"She seems fine. A little disoriented, but I would be too. Mesa's another story. Pulled something in his leg, it looks bad. I did all I could for him, but he may have to be put down. I left him in the round pen with Katy. We'll see."
Seth shook his head, "I swear. All that for nothing."
Jamie sighed, "Well, let's hope for the best. That horse saved her life. Out ran a prairie fire. Can you imagine?"
"Aye. He's a brave one for sure," Patrick said, "He'll be alright."
"He'll never run again," Jamie commented, as he began trying to smother the fire, "Of that, I'm sure."
"Well, then he can be put out to pasture," Seth reasoned, then added, "if there's any left of it."
Jamie fell into the rhythm with Patrick and Seth, and they kept a steady flow of dust pouring onto their section of the fire.
Night fell, but the station blazed with the light of day. Lou, having left Rachel with Rose, walked up and down the ditches, with a two buckets of water. One was soaking damp rags that she had the men tie across their faces. They were weary and coughing badly. The other was for drinking. She was "an angel of mercy" as Jamie heard one of the men say, and Jamie imagined she'd been very good at the hospital during the war.
She stopped in front of him, and though her eyes were fearful that the fire still blazed as meanly as ever, she placed a cool hand against his burning cheek, "Rose is fine. She's been asking for you. Why don't you go see her?"
Jamie smiled and his eyes shifted to where Rose was lying, propped up against the side of the house. He lifted a hand to her and she waved back.
"I can't Mama. There's too much to be done. Tell her I'll see her later, would you?"
Lou nodded, and continued down the line.
Jamie wasn't overly surprised when on her next round, she had help carrying the second bucket. Both Rose and Rachel followed along with her.
Jamie opened his mouth to tell Rose she shouldn't be up, but Lou shook her head.
"Don't bother. I tried. Stubborn as her father, that one."
"I decided to come see you, since you couldn't come visit me," Rose murmured in a smoke-roughened voice.
Jamie smiled, leaning down to kiss her cheek. Her face was blood red from the heat, and she had a bandage on one arm, but appeared otherwise unharmed from her close call. She threw her arms around him, squeezed him tightly, and continued with Lou. Jamie didn't have the heart to tell her about Mesa. He thought it was better not to worry her until he had a better idea the extent of the damage.
Rose ambled along quietly, feeling detached from the danger. In beating the fire to the station, she'd won. She no longer feared it. In fact, she felt she might not fear anything again. What could be more worthy of fear than a wall of fire chasing her across dry grass, after all?
Kid smiled when he saw her, and straightened up.
Leaving his shovel for the first time in hours, he walked over to her.
"Feeling better?" he wondered, placing a blistered hand against her cheek.
Rose felt awkward suddenly as she stepped forward to wrap her arms around him, "I'm sorry, Kid…I'm sorry for what almost happened. It was foolish of me. I had no right to risk your life…or mine. Not even for Mesa. I could have destroyed Jamie and Lou if something happened to you."
"Or you," Kid smiled and kissed the top of her head, "Rose, honey, remind me some time to tell you about a man named Doc Wheeler and another man named Ulysses. I'm glad we saved Mesa, honey. It was worth it. And I'm glad you're alright."
"I love you, Kid," Rose whispered to him, suddenly aware that she might not have told him that enough in her life, "I really do."
"Well, I reckon I knew that. And I reckon you know I feel the same, now back to work with both of us!" He said gruffly, although his voice was thick with more than smoke.
It was long in coming, but finally, as Kid had kept assuring them it would, the sky opened and the rain came. Rose jumped in surprise when the first slow, fat drops fell on top of her head, weaving through her hair to begin a tickling descent down her scalp.
The heavy clouds suddenly seemed to release their burden at once and the water was driven down in a solid sheet that bathed the scalded and weary men and women below. The fire struggled on, but it weakened without anything to consume, and though it hissed and popped furiously, the flames were losing for the first time.
Finally, when the fire was nothing but embers, the men dropped their shovels and buckets with trembling arms, and collapsed where they stood, turning faces up to the blessed rain.
It continued to fall, turning the ditches into what was almost a protective moat around the ranch. They'd saved every building but an old tack room no longer in use and the windmill, as well as the entire town of Sweetwater. It was a victory they were too exhausted to celebrate, after eight hours of solid struggle.
Jamie, feeling close to tears of exhausted relief, jumped feet first into the ditch that was already four feet high with muddy rain water, and cooled his skin. Several men, deciding the rain itself wasn't enough, did the same. Jamie thought he'd never known such heaven as the cold water that swirled around him, lifting away the heavy soot and sweat.
"Jamie! Jamie come quick!" he heard Rose's voice from somewhere behind eyes closed in relaxation.
"No," Jamie mumbled, wanting only to rest.
"Jamie! It's Mesa! There's something wrong with his leg! It's bad!"
Jamie's eyes opened at this. He wished now he'd warned her earlier about her horse's leg.
He clamored out of the water, followed by Seth and Patrick.
"I'm here Rose!" Jamie shouted, brushing his hair away from his forehead and waving his hand to the figure streaking across the station yard.
She was soaked and her teeth chattered, but he guessed it more from worry for her horse than the contrast of cold rain on blistering skin.
Jamie put a hand on each of her shoulders, "Rose, I know. He's hurt pretty bad. I'm going to do everything I can for him, but I'm telling you. You won't be able to ride him again."
Large tears filled her eyes but she blinked them down, glancing at Patrick and Seth before looking back at Jamie, "As long as you save him."
Jamie sighed and began to tell her that he might not be able to, but a hand touched his arm and Jamie looked to see Kid standing there, and his father promised, "We'll do our best."
Rose turned and Patrick took her hand as they led the way to the round pen.
Jamie hung back and looked at Kid, "It's bad. I may not be able to save him. In fact, if I had to make a decision right now, I'd put him down."
Kid nodded, "Well, it's good you don't have to make a decision now, isn't it? She's been through Hell today, Jamie. And I mean that literally. Try to keep a positive attitude, son, okay?"
"I want the horse to live as bad as you do, but if he's in pain, we don't have the right to keep him suffering, and you know it."
"I do know it. But like I said, let's not scare her till we know, alright? She risked her life to save him."
Jamie sighed, and put his hands on his hips. He was sodden and hot again, and more miserable than before he'd jumped in the ditch. He nodded his acquiescence.
Getting Mesa back to the barn where they could keep a lantern going long enough to see the damage was a slow, hard process. Mesa declined to put any weight at all on his leg, taking awkward hopping steps that reminded Kid of the time Katy had been shot.
Rose stayed at his head the whole time, coaxing, begging, and forcing the horse to take each step so they could help him. She knew fully well the injury could be a fatal one. Horses had four legs for a reason. When they refused to use one of them, it was a very bad sign.
Once inside the smokey barn she stood quietly at her horse's head. Mesa sighed deeply in relief when he realized he wouldn't have to walk anymore, and lowered his head against Rose's middle.
"You saved my life boy. You did it! You ran faster than lightning. I always said you could," Rose whispered as Jamie crouched down and held the swollen foreleg in his hands. Mesa snorted and flattened his ears as Jamie ran hands over him, but quieted at Rose's voice.
"I don't think anything is broken," Jamie finally sighed, standing up beside Rose, and putting his hands on his hips as he studied the leg, "But I think there may be a fracture. If not, then it's torn ligaments which aren't really any better."
Rose nodded, and looked away from him and down at Mesa's leg instead, placing her hand on the white star on his forehead that widened into a blaze, "Can he be saved?"
Jamie sighed again, glad she wasn't looking at him because she would have seen his doubt. "For saving my best girl, we are going to give it a hell of a try. I'm going to give him a tranquilizer that will knock him down, get the weight off the leg for a bit, and take care of his pain. Then...well, we'll see."
Rose nodded and bit her lip, then finally found her voice. Tears ran down her dirty face but she still could not look at him. "Jamie, if you think he needs to be put down, I don't want him to suffer. I'd rather do it now than make him hurt for no reason. I'll trust you if you say so."
Kid watched Jamie closely, trying to discern if he was more worried for the horse or for Rose, or more likely, equally concerned for both.
"Let's give him the night Rose. I am not making any promises, but the horse saved your life...twice actually, and outran a prairie fire. I wouldn't put it past him to pull out of this. He'll be lame," Jamie warned her again, not wanting her hopes to get too high, "but if he recovers he won't be in pain, and can live out his days like a king."
"Okay," Rose nodded, "We'll give him the night. I think I'll stay here with him."
Kid nodded, "I expected as much. Come on boys, let's go check to see all the fires are really out and thank everyone for their help. Tomorrow will be soon enough to see what kind of damage we're talking about."
Rose knew he was talking about both Mesa and his land. She also knew Kid well enough to know given the choice he would wish the horse well over his thousands of acres.
A few minutes later, Jamie injected the horse with a strong drug and in only seconds he stumbled and wove unsteadily. Jamie dodged the flailing hooves and held Mesa's bad leg in his own hands until the horse collapsed on his side, preventing further injury.
"I'll be back to check on you both after while," Jamie promised, nodding at her and jogged from the stable.
As it turned out, it was a good hour and a half before the rain let up and everyone could ride back to Sweetwater. Lou and Rachel pulled together a meal and fed the workers, who graciously helped carry the things Rachel had loaded into the wagons back into the houses, and lounged on the porch until the rain lightened to a steady drizzle.
After everyone was gone, Jamie sighed, then looked at his mother, "I'm gonna stay with Rose in the barn tonight and keep an eye on Mesa."
Lou nodded, "At least come get a few blankets and some dinner for Rose, that is, if Cody's left any."
Jamie opened the barn door with his foot, his arms full of blankets, a canteen of water, and a plate for Rose. He set them down in the stable aisle outside of Mesa's stall and peered over the door.
A smile crossed his face. Rose was sitting cross legged, with her horse's head in her lap, a hand on his neck and her head bent forward. She was fast asleep.
He chuckled and let himself into the stall, gently grabbing her under her arms and pulling her from underneath the unconscious horse. She stirred and mumbled in irritation, the way she always did when bothered while asleep, but didn't wake up as he picked her up and carried her outside the stall. He lay her down gently on a blanket in the aisle, knowing it would be cooler there than in the tack room.
When he had her settled, and had placed the napkin over her plate to keep the bugs out, he went back to the tack room and gathered the materials he needed, then entered the palomino's stall.
"Well, friend, you did a lot for me. Now let me see what I can do for you," He spoke to the horse that couldn't hear him and kneeled in the straw, carefully probing the leg, talking all the while to make himself feel better. An hour later he sat back and studied his work. The poultice and plaster he'd applied should keep the leg as immobile and supported as possible, unless Mesa panicked and smashed it and his leg to pieces when he woke up. It was hard to tell how horses would react to such injuries.
With that done, Jamie nearly crawled from the stall and collapsed on his own blanket, sore, sleepy, and heartsick when he thought of all the land the fire had surely destroyed, as well as the injury to the beloved horse. At least the fire would give the soil nutrients. In a year or two the prairie would be healthier than ever before. But tomorrow, they'd face a wasteland. He closed his eyes as his brain refused to contemplate anything else.
He could see her right in front of him. She was riding hard on a black horse, bent low, fleeing. His eyes shifted. Behind her was something more terrifying than anything he'd ever seen. In front of a blazing mountain of fire, the general outline of a horse and a man prevailed, but both were made of flames. Only the eye sockets of man and beast were empty holes of black. They were gaining on Rose. Jamie tried to help her, but couldn't climb out of the murky quicksand that held him fast. Her face disappeared in a mass of melted flesh.
Jamie screamed in rage and horror as the flaming horseman reached out and claimed her, dragging her onto his demon mount. Rose's screams split his eardrums. His own hoarse cries joined hers as the horseman turned, and took her back into the fire with him. The smell of smoke burned his nostrils.
"Jamie!" She called his name over and over, reaching back for him.
And then suddenly her hand made it across the distance, burning against his cheek. He screamed again and clung to it, pulling her back through the fire and crushing her against his chest.
Jamie cried out and began swatting at her arms and his chest, trying to extinguish the flames.
"Wake up, Jamie!" She shouted again, shaking him hard.
With a start, he did so. He wasn't sure which one of them was more surprised. He believed he had her beat as he looked into her eyes, gasping for air. He was holding her to his chest with all his might in the aisle of the stable.
He let out a shaky sigh.
"It was only a nightmare, Jamie. I'm okay, see? You're okay too...I think...unless the smoke addled your brain."
"I dreamed the fire got you," he said quietly, not releasing her. He couldn't bring himself to do so yet.
"It didn't. I'm right here, see? Feel better?" Rose asked softly, struggling against his tight hold enough to free one hand and wipe his damp hair from his clammy brow, "It's alright."
"No." Jamie shook his head, looking into her eyes, "I need you to promise me two things Rose."
She sighed, "What's that?"
"First," Jamie said, voice shaking, chest rising and falling rapidly, "Swear to God you'll never go charging into a prairie fire again. I don't care if it's a horse out there, or me. Just promise."
"Jamie…you know I can't say that. I'd probably do the same thing tomorrow."
"No!" Jamie thundered and shook her once for good measure, "You wouldn't! Because you are gonna swear it to me, Rose, right now dammit!"
Rose sighed, crossed her fingers, and desperately prayed she'd never see another fire to have to make the decision, "Okay, Jamie, I promise."
"Now uncross your fingers and say it," Jamie muttered, his hand closing on the one she was hiding behind her back.
Rose sighed, "Next time I'll use better judgement. How's that?"
Jamie sighed, resigned, "As good as I'm going to get from you I suppose."
Rose grinned and kissed his nose, "And the second promise?"
Jamie sighed and finally released her. He climbed to his feet, groaning a bit at the protest of his sore muscles, and extended a hand down to her.
Sleepily, she clamored to her feet as well, following wordlessly as he led her down the stable and toward the back pastures.
The moon peeked out from behind the heavy clouds, and revealed a fog that was thick and eerie. It rolled by them lazily, mixing with the thicker smoke.
"What is it?" Rose asked a bit breathlessly as Jamie turned to look down at her.
He studied her quietly, cradling her cheek.
Finally, he spoke. "I kissed you here for the first time. That was when I knew I really was in love with you. I wanted to tell you that night, but I didn't."
"I remember well enough…I wouldn't let you tell me anyway," She smiled at him, then her face fell as she recalled it was later that night that she met John. She rarely thought of him but the dread curled through her belly now. She turned back to the land and sighed, "I guess I got what I deserved for not letting you say your piece…"
"Rose, you could never deserve everything that happened…I hope you really know that."
She sighed, then nodded, "I know…but I do wish things had been different."
"Well, that would be a perfect world. But then again, I may not have ever realized how lucky I was to have your love if I hadn't lost it once."
"I never stopped loving you," Rose protested, but Jamie put his fingers over her mouth.
"Maybe not, but I thought you had. And today, I thought I'd lost you altogether, and I never knew what it was like to be completely lost till I looked into that fire and thought you weren't coming back…" his eyes welled with tears. "I never want to feel that way again, Rose. Do you know what that's like?"
"Oh Jamie, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you so," Rose whispered, squeezing his hand. "But I do know what it is to be lost. When I lost my father, the only person in the world that had ever been truly good to me…I felt lost. Until your family found me. I know what it means…I-"
"Shh…I'm not done yet." Jamie scolded her teasingly and his fingers tightened on her own.
Slowly, he lowered himself on one knee and gazed up at her.
"Jamie…" she began uncertainly, her heart pounding.
"I want you to promise me that you'll stay with me forever. That as long as I live you'll be right here by my side, that you won't ever let me be lost again. I won't let you be lost either. I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?"
The tears that suddenly and unexpectedly rolled down her cheeks matched the ones on Jamie's face. She choked on a sob and fell to her knees beside him, at the spot where he'd first kissed her.
She was quiet, looking into his eyes for a long time.
"I promise to stay with you forever, and we'll never be lost again," she said at last in answer, then took his hands, "No fingers crossed this time."
He smiled and leaned to kiss her gently, his heart thudding with relief.
"What took you so long to ask anyway?" Rose smiled, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
The next morning he was gone from his bedroll when she awakened. Mesa was still down and so she wandered toward the back of the stables in search of the man she had said she would marry.
She sensed Jamie's grief before she even let her eyes fall on the land, and she didn't say anything to him as she stopped at his side and surveyed the damage herself.
Yesterday this time, it had been rich, sweeping fields of knee high grass, browning slightly with drought. Today, as far as she could see, the plain was destroyed, blackened and still smoking. The few trees that grew there were stripped and dead, waiting for a good wind to blow them down. The fences that had taken years to build were gone from the land, leaving rusty barbed wire littering the acres of the ranch, and stumps of fence posts leaning in gaping holes.
Rose sighed, sickened by the sight.
"It could have been worse. We could have lost everything," he said gently. "We could have lost you."
She nodded. "I know it. But it's still plenty bad, isn't it?"
"It's plenty bad," he agreed. "Well Rose, you may have been wrong. Looks like there's some rebuilding to do out here now...it's not all building new."
Rose smiled and looked at him, but he was looking back to the fields, "No, what we're building is new. And I'm not talking about the fences."
The summer wore on, and the slow process of cleaning up and starting over commenced. Rose helped with the fence repairs, rolling the ruined wire and helping set fence posts. The work of restringing would wait until after winter.
In weeks, the blackened fields were beautifully green, and Rose marveled at the resiliency of nature and the people who lived by its fickle whim.
Neighboring farmers and ranchers volunteered their fallow fields or pastures for the Bar M herd and Rose also marveled at the goodness of people. After John, it was a welcome reminder.
Kid and Lou left for their yearly trip to the horse sale, encouraged with promises that when they returned this time no one would be missing. News of Rose and Jamie's engagement brought a sense of excitement to the ranch. They were to be married in October, when most of the repairs were done, and the oppressive heat would have given way to cooler days.
Although she was tired enough to drop at the end of the day, after the unforgiving heat finally rolled away with the sun, Rose spent long hours with Mesa. She walked him around the station yard, and eventually started taking him to the swimming hole and letting him exercise without straining his leg. Jamie assured her it was healing nicely, and often went along with her, enjoying the coolness of the water with Rose and the horse.
It was hard work, but also satisfying, and Rose dropped into her pillow eagerly every night, knowing it was the work that allowed her to sleep in spite of her growing excitement about her wedding. Rachel and the dressmaker from town were collaborating on her dress, and Louise promised to bring back some fine lace and beads to adorn the garment. Rose had already been to the dress shop twice for preliminary fittings, and just feeling the white satin against her skin made her tremble with joy.
"Rose honey, wake up," the voice was soothing and soft in her ear, making her desire to sleep more soundly if anything.
"Rose, come on sleepy head," Lou said louder, shaking her shoulder. Rose muttered and scowled at her, slapping at the hand that dared rouse her.
"Rose!" Lou finally half shouted, knowing it was the only way.
"What! I'm up!" Rose mumbled quickly before she opened her eyes, jumping to a sitting position with her head still rolling around.
Lou laughed at her. Rose opened her eyes, light silver in the morning, and looked at Lou in surprise, "What are you doing here?"
"We just got back from the sale. Come outside, there's something I want to show you."
Rose looked out her window. The sky was barely gray with dawn, "Now?"
"Now. Hurry, everybody's waiting…" Lou said, and grabbed her robe, helping her into it after sensing it would be a long wait if she let the confused girl struggle with the garment on her own. She took Rose by the hand before she could tie the sash and Rose stumbled along after her. Lou nearly giggled in delight when she saw Kid and Jamie, barefoot in his long johns and hair sticking up at every angle, waiting for them.
"What is going on?" Jamie mumbled through half open eyes, his voice hoarse.
"I need your opinion on something," Kid beamed, "both of you."
"Now?" Rose asked pointedly for the second time, as if to make them realize the hour.
"Yes, right now. It's very important. Lou?" Kid smiled, motioning to the front door and offering his wife her arm. When they opened it and walked out to the porch, Jamie and Rose looked at each other in total bewilderment, sure both of them had gone insane.
With a lift of his shoulders, Jamie reached for Rose's hand and she staggered behind him out into the cool morning.
Kid and Lou were walking briskly toward the stables, and beat Jamie and Rose inside by a long shot. Jamie noticed that the bunkhouse lights were on as well, and Teaspoon and Rachel's lights were burning from the windows in the low light. It apparently was going to be a group opinion.
Jamie walked into the stable half a step before Rose and halted abruptly. She was looking at the dust as she shuffled along, and therefore crashed into him. She looked up over his shoulders to see why he'd gasped.
Suddenly she wasn't sleepy at all.
In front of them stood their family beaming proudly. To one side of the crowd consisting of Rachel, Teaspoon, Buck, Seth, and Patrick, Kid stood at the head of a huge black and white paint stallion. The horse tossed his head and snorted, prancing as if to show off. On the other side stood Lou, a stallion also in hand, but this one a dark, glossy, golden palomino with a wide white blaze and a silvery mane. He was quieter, raising his head and staring down his long nose at the new arrivals proudly.
Jamie walked with arms outstretched toward the paint stallion, as if he might disappear if he didn't have his hands on him at once. The animal was the closest to perfect he'd ever seen. More midnight black than white, he was sixteen and a half hands if he was a foot.
Rose didn't find moving so easy. She stared in amazement at the palomino stallion who gazed back with intelligent, sparkling, whiskey-colored eyes. He was even taller than the paint stallion, seventeen hands. When Lou saw she was frozen she walked the stallion to Rose. She automatically held her hand out to the horse, letting him smell her, and then stepped closer, reaching up and stroking his crested neck.
"What in the world?" Rose finally asked quietly.
Kid heard her and giving the paint stallion a pat said, "Your wedding presents."
Rose felt her eyes well with tears as she looked at her husband-to-be. Jamie was moved beyond speech and opened and closed his mouth several times, never finding the right words.
Kid nodded to the paint horse, "This one is a direct descendant of an infamous mustang around these parts when we were younger…they called him Satan. And for good reason." His eyes met Lou's as he recalled an eventful week involving the horse in question.
Lou smiled, "And this one is from the most successful Palomino breeder in California. Imported all the way from Spain. He's guaranteed to throw palomino babies. We thought you might like to expand the Bar M's line when you became half owner," Lou smiled at Rose.
Unable to think of anything to say that would express her gratitude, Rose swallowed around the lump in her throat and ignored the tears on her cheeks as she threw her arms around Lou. Jamie did the same to Kid.
Teaspoon smiled in complete contentment, and looked around the barn at the beaming faces. He turned, went to the tack room and returned with several shot glasses of whiskey, passing them around, then raised his own.
"Here's to the future. To the next generation!"
With their new stallions in hand, and the toast and whiskey warming their hearts, Rose and Jamie met one another's eyes and shared a smile. It was looking to be a promising future indeed.