Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. Everything belongs to JK Rowling, and I'm merely allowed to play around with them. No copyright infringement is intended.

I know. It's a tiny bit late. :) Sorry.

Chapter 42

-o-O-o-

...two months later...

The sea around Azkaban prison was cold, but Hermione didn't care. Her cloak was wrapped tightly around her, and her silver hair flew around her face as she waited for her little embarkation to arrive to the next shore. The Dementor that was pushing it looked somehow disinterested, but that was to be expected. After all, no happy thoughts swirled through her mind right now.

A strong gust of cold January wind hit, and she shivered violently. Suddenly, she was glad Regulus wasn't there with her. He would have made too much of a fuss about her catching something, anyway.

Slowly, the little boat hit the soil that was the island of Azkaban, and Hermione hopped off. As her boots hit the sand, she felt a strong wave of pity towards all the inhabitants of this sad place. She felt a little empty, and noticed that Dementors were now surrounding her, leaving only a small passage way for her to get in.

Shoving past them a bit, she followed a track to the entrance of the huge prison. She entered the building, and shivered once more when she realised that inside was even colder than outside. An old witch sat at an office, just next to the door, scribbling down on some papers. Hermione had expected to see a bunch of Aurors there, too, but apparently, there were none.

"Hello." she said timidly to the elder witch at the counter. "I'd like to visit somebody please."

She didn't even look up. "Feel free. Who is it that you'd like to see?"

Hermione gave away a small smile. "Sirius Black."

The scribbling stopped. Slowly and carefully, as if afraid of whom she would see up there, the woman looked up to take a glance at Hermione's face from above her triangular glasses. "And who might want to see that man?" she asked carefully.

"Stella Sinistra, Professor of Astronomy at Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." she answered, her small smile still in place.

The elder woman nodded. "Very well." she said. "Follow me."

-o-O-o-

"Hello, Sirius." Hermione whispered once she was alone in front of his cell. The elder witch who had shown her the way had left hurriedly, as if she was afraid of Sirius. Of course, she didn't know that he was innocent.

He looked up from his ragged mattress at the silver haired angel that stood in front of him. "Hermione…" he croaked. His voice was hoarse, as if he hadn't drunk in days. She pitied him.

"So you found out, then," she asked, tucking her hair behind her ear.

He smiled a little. "Obviously. It was Peter who told me."

"Peter?" she asked. "How did he find out?"

"I forgot." he sighed. "I was so happy when I killed him… They took that memory." he explained. There was a pause. "'Mione, I didn't betray James and Lily."

"I know." she said. "It was Peter."

He looked puzzled. "How did you know?" he asked.

She sighed. "Sirius… There are things about me I haven't told you." she started.

"Like what?" he asked, sounding afraid of what was about to come.

"I'm not from around here." she explained. "I'm from… The future."

Another pause. "Oh." he said at last.

"Is that it?" she asked. "No angry lashing or billion questions or yelling 'What the fucking hell?!'?"

He smiled a little again, but it was cold. "I'm a bit too weak for that, but you just read my thoughts."

"I'm sorry, Sirius." she apologised. She pulled out her wand and waved it around, a glass of water appearing out of thin air. "Here." she said, handing it to him.

He took it and downed it easily. After a few refills, he turned to glare at her. "I'm really mad at you, you know?"

"Yes." she said. "I expected that. I guess I deserve it, too."

"Of course you bloody well deserve it!" he hissed. "I've been holding on while you've been letting go... Do you know how painful that is?"

She shook her head. "No." she declared, and looked up at him. "And I'm not going to pretend that I did or will, either."

"I gave you all I could," he continued. "All I had, but apparently, it wasn't enough." he sighed, a note of despair entering his voice. "I wasn't your superhero."

"I didn't need you to be my superhero, Sirius." she whispered softly, crouching down and grabbing the iron bars of his cell. "At the time, I just wanted to escape from my superhero... I needed a key. And you were there, and there's nothing I can do that can thank you enough."

He looked up at her hopefully. "You could get me out." he tried.

She stood back up and declared, her voice filled with pity: "No human being ever escapes Azkaban, Sirius." She hoped he would get the hint.

There was a pause. "There was something between us, right?" he asked. "I mean, there was love, and passion…"

"Yes, there was." she admitted. "There was love, passion, there was a flame… But there was regret, deceit, hidden thoughts…"

"Only on your part." he said.

"I know." she said. "I'm the love of your life, but you weren't mine. You were a love in my life."

"I thought…" he started, before clearing his throat, as his voice was thick with multiple emotions. "I though we went deeper than skin."

"We did." she agreed. "And what lied within is still deeper than we know."

"I can't believe I was so stupid." he said. "I had all the hints in front of me, and I didn't realise anything… Who knew?" he asked.

"At first, only Dumbledore and me… Then I told Regulus-"

"He's alive?" Sirius asked.

She smiled weakly. "Yes, he's alive." Then her smile disappeared and she looked up to him. "He was supposed to die." she admitted.

"You did save him then?" he asked.

"Yes, I did."

"But you didn't save James and Lily." he stated as an obvious fact.

Her voice broke. "No."

"Why?" he hissed.

"I couldn't." she said, her eyes brimming with tears.

Despite his obvious lack of strength, he slammed his fist against the door as hard as he could, and the loud clang made Hermione jump. Sirius breathed heavily for a while and Hermione desperately tried to stop tears from falling.

"I'm sorry." she said, wiping her yes with the back of her sleeve.

There was a pause. "Tell me, Hermione," he said after a while. "Can I leave behind the naivety of youth?"

"You probably will." she said. "Although, I the future, you'll be as childish as before." she gave a small smile.

Her stared at her. "You know me in the future?"

"Yes." she admitted. "I do. That's what I told you, back when we were in the library, all those years ago."

He nodded as he remembered. "You told me I reminded you of a man who'd spent twelve years in Azkaban and never lost his mind." he said, before looking up at her. "I'll spend twelve years here?" he asked.

She sighed. "I wish I could get you out sooner." she said.

"How did I do it?" he asked. "Did I get so crazy I couldn't be considered a human being anymore?"

"No." she said. "You stayed sane."

"How?" he asked again.

She smiled a little. "I guess the fact that you knew you were innocent kept you going." she explained. There was a silence. "I loved you, you know." she blurted out at one point.

"Really?" he asked. "When?"

"When I mistook my love for Regulus with hatred…" she explained. "Since that day, when you were ready to take me back despite everything I'd done, all those times I just let you down and hurt you…"

"I'd take you back now with open arms." he said, almost to himself.

She smiled. "I loved you for that." she explained. "But then… The day Mary died, I realised love wasn't enough to keep us together. That death could do us easily apart."

"Then I asked you to marry me." he said.

"Yes." she agreed. "I didn't know what to say. I said yes as I weighed both options, thinking that, had I said no, you would've realised that I'm not the one for you, that I kept letting you down and hurting you… I was afraid you'd leave me." Her voice broke.

"I wouldn't have." he declared.

She smiled weakly. "I only realise that now." she admitted. She sighed. "Then I realised my mistakes, saying yes and that I loved Regulus, and I decided to fix them both… So I left. And I hurt you."

"I lived." he said, trying to toughen himself up a bit.

"Obviously." she said. "But I hated myself for hurting you, and when Regulus said the same… I guess we fit because we're both monsters in our own eyes." she theorised.

"You aren't a monster to me." he declared.

"And he's not one to me." she said. "Don't you see, Sirius?" she asked, exasperated. "He is to me what I am to you! He's…" she smiled. "He's my Hermione."

After a while, he sighed. "I guess we're both fools then?"

"Yeah." she agreed with a short laugh. "If they had a king for fools, would you wear the crown?" she asked.

"Probably." he told her. "But we'd have to share it."

"I love you, Sirius." she admitted.

"I love you, Hermione." he answered, even though he knew perfectly well that these words didn't mean the same thing from her as they did from him.

"Maybe," she mused. "Maybe there's a book, in the archives of time, that's called: 'Sirius Black, Hermione Granger; an Unwound future'." She turned to him. "I think I'd read it, if I ever stumbled upon it."

"I'd like to live it." he declared.

She smiled, but it faded quickly. "I'm sorry."

"I don't care." he answered. "The funny thing with love is what it feels like… It feels like planting a knife in your heart when you're suicidal. It feels awfully good, but there's still the fucking pain behind it."

"I guess that's an accurate description." she agreed.

He smiled weakly. "And when the person loves you back, you love them even more, because you know the pain they're in… And you feel like this brings you closer."

"I know what it feels like." she whispered.

"I know." he said. "And I don't believe anything can make me love you more."

"Even though I'm the cause of your pain?" she asked.

"Sure." he said nonchalantly, almost shrugging. "After all, you are happy… And, for now, that's all that matters."

"Thank you." she said, almost crying.

"Please don't cry." he said. "It only makes everything so much harder…"

"When are they going to stop hitting us?" she asked, starting to sob.

"Who?" he asked, his voice confused.

"The stones we threw, Sirius." she said. "All those stones we threw at each other to keep us together… We should have realised that the longer we stayed together, the harder it would be to keep away later, and avoid all this pain."

She cried for a while. When her sobs quietened, he declared: "One day, the stones will stop coming, Hermione. One day, we'll be looking at that pile of rocks at out feet and laugh. Then we'll build a wall with them between us, to keep ourselves from hurting each other."

"But I need you." she whispered.

He shook his head. "You think that now, when you're spreading your deck of secrets on the table, because you know you can't do that with everyone… But one day, you'll find someone else, who knows you the way I do."

She sighed. "I hope it will happen soon." she said.

He smiled. "I'm just your best friend, after all. It's not as if I was your soulmate, or anything." They laughed a little, before he sighed and said: "And for all this pantomime, you should see the state I'm in."

"I can't." she said. "And that's my problem. I know I'm hurting you, but I don't know how much… So I can't heal you. Only time can do that now."

He shook his head. "I can't heal myself with time alone." he said. "I have you tattooed on my skin."

-o-O-o-

Once Hermione got back to her quarters, she slumped down on her bed and did nothing else for the rest of the day. When Regulus came back, the only thing he asked was: "Are you hungry?"

She'd just shaken her head.

He'd lied down next to her and pulled her into his arms, kissing her shoulder in the process. "I'm sorry." he whispered. "I know it was hard for you to give him up just like that."

"How did you know where I was?" she asked him.

"Only one thing could have gotten you in such a state in such a short period of time." he explained. "And that would be going to Azkaban to visit my dear brother."

She sighed and snuggled into his chest. "What time is it?" she asked.

He twisted around to check out the alarm clock and declared: "Half past ten."

"Make love to me, Regulus." she said.

He didn't ask questions, he simply obeyed.

When it was over, they were in a similar position: he was lying down with her against his chest, his nose in the crook of her neck and his arms wrapped around her middle. She placed his hands above his so that both pairs were above her stomach and declared: "I'm pregnant."

He kissed her neck and she felt his tears of happiness on her skin as he caressed her body lovingly.

-o-O-o-

Yay! A baby coming! :) Aren't we all happy? Please tell me what you thought about this chapter, I'm not very sure about it… So please leave a review! :D