Becoming Her Lover

Chapter 18

The One By Her Side

Minutes turned to hours and hours turned to day as Kotori heard nothing from the doctors. She stayed there all night and all day in hopes that she would be the first one to hear news about Umi, regardless of it being good or bad. However, she was too afraid to think about the bad so she tried her hardest to keep an optimistic view on things so that Umi could heal faster with whatever she was dealing. The only thing was that the longer she stayed there by herself, the more she began to think that Umi would never come back to her. This was when she turned into a nervous wreck. She dug her head in her hands and tried to stop the tears.

She's not coming back. Why are you still here? All of this effort you're putting in is simply worthless. She'll never recognize you for it. You should know this by now. Umi-chan doesn't notice the little things. You're just a little girl in love. This ambition of yours is causing you to think like a child. You should stop.

But she will come back. Umi-chan's strong and independent. She doesn't need anyone else. As long as she has the will to fight, nothing will stop her. I believe she'll be fine. I also know that she's thinking about me. She has to be worried about me. She cares about me and she knows that I can't do anything on my own. Yep, she'll come back to me and I'll welcome her with open arms. That's why I'm here. I supposed to be the first one to see Umi-chan.

There it is. There's your wishful thinking. You need to grow up. Umi-chan won't be forever and it's not like she's going to be with you for her entire life. She's going places. She has so much potential and you're the one pulling her back.

That's not true. I'm by Umi-chan's side because I don't want her to be alone. All of her life, she's been alone and I've seen it. That smile I love so much is something I wish to obtain all of the time. Happy Umi-chan is the greatest thing in this world and nothing you say will ever make me think otherwise.

You say this and yet, you're forcing yourself onto her. The first day you made love to her. She wasn't even ready and made her embarrassed about the whole thing. The next time you tried it, things went a little better, but it was obvious that she still wasn't ready. And then when you tried to get her to make love to you, she didn't even know what to do and you simply said to do whatever she wanted. How is that love? That's no love. That's your definition of love. You use any excuse you can to be with Umi-chan. Have you ever thought about her? Maybe she's not comfortable with all of this. Maybe you pushed her to this point. Maybe it's your fault that she's in this situation.

No. Shut up. That's not true at all. Everything I've done, I've done for her.

You're lying. By now, you're starting to realize that these words your thinking are all lies. Your selfishness brought this upon Umi-chan. It's all your fault.

At that moment, Kotori's eyes shot wide open. Tears were forming in her eyes like they've never have before. She was slowly coming to realization. Umi-chan was so selfless to her. Umi-chan wanted to make her happy, but Kotori never cared about how Umi-chan felt. All of those times they spent together, not once did she ever ask what Umi-chan wanted to do. What did she want to do?

The tears were swelling up so much that it was impossible to hold it all in. They fell to the ground like rain. Kotori finally let herself go. She cried out in pain as she smashed her hands against her head.

"This is all my fault! Umi-chan, I'm so sorry!"

…

Back in the OR, things weren't going too well. Because of her condition, they had to be extremely careful with her. She was sensitive to the touch in certain areas and those areas were constantly spreading throughout her body. They put her under, but even then, her body was reacting to their touch in subtle jolts. This worried the doctors since she shouldn't be able to feel anything when she was under.

With Umi being in such a serious condition, the hospital called upon all of its workers to figure out ways she could get better. The ones who weren't involved with the direct operation of Umi called the other hospitals and asked for help. Everyone was desperately trying to figure out a way to save this girl. Thankfully, all of their bustling didn't catch Kotori's attention because if it did, she would have been worried to the point of dying herself.

A couple more days went by and things finally started to look up for Umi and the rest of the operation crew. Her body's nervous died down a bit to where her sense of touch had decreased tremendously. They were able to do the things they needed to do without putting her life in any risk. Once all of the necessary operating was finished, they put her in a room where she was able to relax for the time being. The nurses who were working with her were so nice that it made her stay a little more tolerable. The first thing she was given was food since she was deprived of that during their worried time. When she took a bite of the food, she almost cried. Even though it was hospital food, it was like being in heaven.

Once she settled into her room, there wasn't much she could do. It was a single room so there was no one else she could talk to besides from the nurses who made their rounds every so often. That's when she remembered Kotori. That girl was always by her side. All of this operation and hospital stuff must have her worried sick about her. She tried sitting up, but a nurse entered her room at that moment and stopped her from doing so.

"You shouldn't do that sweety. Your body's sensitive. Try not to push it too hard."

"Alright, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You have nothing to be sorry for." She fell back onto the bed and tried to find that comfortable position she was in a few minutes ago. "You know, there's this really cute girl outside who's been waiting for you all of this time."

"Girl? Kotori?!" She immediately tried sitting up again, but the nurse was there to stop yet again.

"I don't know her name, but she is adorable."

"Can I see her?"

"Um, I don't know. I'd have to ask the doctors to see if it's alright, but I think the more important thing here is are you alright?"

"I think so. Nothing hurts just yet."

"Okay. I may sound a little hesitant about this, but I don't want her to see you in pain."

"I'll be fine. Please ask if it's alright if I see her." The nurse nodded her head and left the room. After a few minutes, that same nurse walked into the waiting room and looked around for the girl. Once she spotted her, she walked over to her and gently put her hand on her shoulder.

"Excuse me sweety," Kotori slowly looked up so see the nurse looking down at her, "there is someone who wants to see you."

End of Chapter 18