Becoming Her Lover

Chapter 19

Open Hearts

Note: This story is approaching its end. There's this chapter, one next week, and then the finale. I hope you've all been enjoying it and I hope you'll enjoy whatever is left to be told. Thank you so much for all of your support and enjoy the update.

"Excuse me, Sonoda-san, you're visitor is here." There was no response. The nurse just knew that it was alright to escort Kotori inside of the room. Once Kotori made it inside, she left to give the two of them some room. Kotori walked into the room very slowly and had her eyes focused on one point: The bed. As much as she didn't want to see the truth, Umi was laying on the bed with everything that comes with the package. She had the heart monitor next to her bed, she was wearing the hospital gown, and the sheets were pulled over most of her body. This sight was something that was a little too much for her.

"I'm sorry." Kotori tried to run away, but she was stopped by a familiar voice.

"Kotori." The sound of that voice caused her to stop dead in her tracks. It was so soothing and so inviting, despite the fact that it was coming from the bed. "Please don't go." Kotori turned around slowly and immediately eye contact with her.

"Umi-chan, I…"

"You don't have to say anything if you're not comfortable. I just really wanted to see you." Kotori turned her head and looked at the ground. "You wanna come sit next to me?"

For some reason, she wanted to leave. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Umi. She couldn't have been happier to see her. It was just that seeing someone in a hospital bed was just something else. This was obviously something serious since Umi was known for having near-perfect health. However, Kotori tried her hardest to put all of this behind her. She slowly walked to the chair that was placed next to the bed and sat down nervously.

"I'm so glad you're here, Kotori. The nurses told me that you've been waiting this entire time. Your effort means the world to me. Thank you."

"Please don't thank me."

"What? What are you talking about? You were thinking about me the entire time and that helped me get better. How can I not thank you?" Kotori was silent. By this point in time, she was trying to hold back the tears that were forming up in her eyes.

"Just don't." Umi looked at Kotori and saw that there was something wrong with her. She didn't know what it was, but she had to ease into it somehow.

"Kotori, can I hold your hand?" Kotori suddenly raised her head and looked at Umi. Meanwhile, Umi had a smile on her face as she did her best to raise her arm into the air. "Please do this one thing for me."

"But… Aren't you still in pain?"

"It's fine. I want to feel your warmth." Now, Umi's hand was wide open for her to take, but Kotori was still hesitant. After learning about what Umi was diagnosed with, she was afraid she would hurt her even more. "Kotori, please." There was nothing she could do. Umi's words were so soft and so open that she was almost forced to do. She gently put her hand on top of Umi's as they interlocked fingers. Unfortunately, Umi had a small struggling look before smiling once again. "Your hands are so warm and soft." Umi bent her arm up to her face and kissed the back of Kotori's hand. As she did this, Kotori noticed that that action was a struggle for her to do.

"Why do you do this?"

"Do what?" This was getting too hard for her. She had to put a stop this before she couldn't take anymore. She suddenly let go of Umi's hand and stood up from her chair.

"Umi-chan, why do you push yourself so much?

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't act clueless. I see it all of the time. You're so selfless. You only think about others and never about yourself. I didn't realize it until now, but you've been pushing yourself to the limit. That's why you're here in that bed. Instead of worrying about your own health, you brushed it aside so that I could be happy. Why did you have to do that? Why?" The tears finally managed to escape Kotori's eyes. She bowed her head as the tears fell onto the floor.

"Kotori, what are you talking about? I've cared about myself and others. How can you say that I'm selfless?"

"Because! You've always done the things I wanted to do. Not once did I ever ask what you wanted to do. You just went along with me because you knew that that would make me happy. I'm tired of it. I want to make you happy. I want to make you smile by doing something for you."

"You've made me smile multiple times. Why are you saying these things? You confessed to me and that made me the happiest person in the world. What more could you ask for?"

"But it's because of that that you're no longer happy. I took your own life away from you. Before we were together, you did so much for the Muse and the archery club. I took you away from those things because I wanted you all to myself."

"I don't care. I can manage all of those things."

"Umi-chan!" At that moment, the room went silent. That was the first time Kotori ever raised her voice at her, and Umi felt the tension in it. It was weak and desperate. Her words weren't reaching Umi so she forced into a corner. It was the corner she was most afraid of. It was the corner she knew she had to go after her time by herself.

"Kotori, come here. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry." Kotori wiped her eyes and lifted her head to get a good view of Umi. "This is for the better. I'm breaking up with you." Umi's facial expression took a drastic turn in the other direction. "I've been nothing but an annoyance to you and it's time that I give you your normal life back. I'm sorry for everything I've done. Goodbye." At that moment, Kotori turned around and stormed out of the room and out of the building.

"Kotori, wait!" Umi tried to raise her arm, but the pain in her arm suddenly returned. She cried out in pain as the nurses and doctors filed into her room to work with her once again. They wheeled her out of her room and back towards the OR. As this happened, Umi started to tear up. It wasn't because of the pain in her arm. It was from the pain in her heart. Those words Kotori spoke to her were so deep that it was impossible not to react to it.

…

As she ran off alone, the tears were falling like a waterfall. She put no effort into stopping it. She knew that this was all of her fault and that this was the best thing to do. Umi was such a strong, independent girl and she was just a "nobody" that was latching onto her fame and glory. But by doing this, she gave Umi her life back while being able to see that smile she wished for from afar. Although she wouldn't be the one to cause that smile, she would be able to see it and feel the warmth of something so radiant. This was the best thing to do and Kotori was determined to keep this up.

Umi-chan was no longer her Umi-chan and she just had to accept it… For both of their sakes.

End of Chapter 19